Teen Titans: Daydreams for a Solitary Walker
Part One
Chapter Five: Silence
It seems lately that every time I close my eyes all I can see is them falling through the air, well, plummeting is more like it, I suppose. And if it isn't them, then it's him, simply standing in the shadows, always watching and always waiting. Sometimes the man switches; it won't be the monster lurking in the shadows watching and waiting, but the mentor instead. I can never tell which one has the greater impact. Either way, I wake up screaming, clutching the blankets to my chest and the burning pain searing through me.
I stop thinking about the exchanged imposing nightmares and come to rest by a small playground. These late night walks really help to clear my mind sometimes. I glance up to see a single robin flying overhead and I smile, watching him move hastily away from the city and towards the suburbs. Part of my brain finds it rather coincidental and wants to find the inherent irony deep inside the situation, but my heart shoves it aside and I decide to relax tonight.
Lately, my mind has been racing with so many thoughts and I cannot seem to control them. Most of the time, the thoughts and images are not mine….. and that scares me more than anything else ever could. It's not because I have no control and cannot help the troubled mind, but because if I am seeing their mind, does that mean that my mind is being portrayed to them in exchange? This thought sends shivers down my spine as I think of the horrors hidden deep within my mind. I would never want to share them with my worst enemies, let alone my only hope and faith incarnate.
Even though things have changed drastically, I still fear history will repeat itself and my horrors will once again become my realities and claim my somewhat decent life. It seems when my mind is left unguarded, that is when the visions strike. I try to better control myself and my emotions, but when I am sleeping the effort is futile. To avoid the dangers, I try to avoid sleeping sometimes, but that is when the nightmares hit hard and fast, knocking me for a loop.
Sitting down on a swing, I let my mind wander to the more recent memories that have been stirring. Mostly, it is us, our friends that hold our minds hostage. I see them all falling, leaving, getting hurt, getting angry, and even dying. Those last ones are the hardest for us to comprehend and to stomach. I repress those images as I stand back up and continue my voyage towards the quiet end of town.
As I am walking, I feel a strong pull down a side street, so I veer off course and decide to change it up a bit. As I turn the corner I can see them, walking briskly ahead of me, clearly going back to the Tower. It seems as if my assumptions were right: my personal demons are forcing him to stray as well. I follow silently in the shadows, keeping a close eye and gazing over them. My heart fills with sorrow as a magnified pain leaps and bounds through my soul. It isn't until I reach up to touch my face that I even realize our combined horrors have brought tears to my eyes.
I follow still, keeping a safe distance all the way back home, the agony never really leaving my soul. Throughout the last few months we have shared each other's pasts and pains and, apparently even now, our poisons. I wish I could take it all away and be as carefree and happy as the others.
I sat silently on the roof and waited to go inside; listening against my will to the hammering thoughts and emotions of my beloved teammates and friends as they convene and prepare whatever meal it is time for. All types of feelings, happy, worried, exuberant, confused, disappointed, happy again, angry, concerned… all of them just bombarding my brain and I could feel them all buzzing inside of me. That was another reason that I enjoyed my solitary walks—out there it was just me and my thoughts, my feelings…. Well, most of the time anyway.
A/N: Alright, here is the last section of Part One. I haven't started any other Parts yet, but I thin Part Two might be the Titans' alter-egos or something along those lines. Also, if there are any other ideas out there for separate Parts I can do, or even other characters you want to see, them press that little review button down there and let me know what you want! L8R Daze Peepalas!