A/N: Come on guys! Please review! Seriously, i'm gonna stop writing this if no one reviews so please review!

Sean's POV

We talked for hours. And what did I get out of talking for 2 hours? She agreed to move back in. I can't even start to explain how happy I was. It was a step to getting her to trust me again. I couldn't screw it up this time, not after all we'd been through.

We left for good that time. I never wanted to come back. I think going back to Toronto was the best decision I ever made. In two ways. Not staying in Wasaga, and being with Ellie. I don't know what my life would have been like without her. She helped me through so many things, so many hard times in my life. If it wasn't for her, I might have not been where I am today.

We got on the train, and I was actually happy to be leaving. Wasaga Beach just brought back memories, too many memories. We were hoping that someway, somehow, we'd get home quicker. She wanted to leave, so did I.

Ellie's POV

Less than 5 days until one of the "happiest times of the year", Christmas. Christmas is when you can forget about everything and everyone. It just gets to the best of everyone. And I mean everyone. My mom doesn't even drink on Christmas.

I looked outside and you wouldn't ever think it was winter. But that's just Wasaga Beach. It's always like summer there. I can't stand living in a place like that for too long, I don't know how Sean could do it. I looked over at him and he was sleeping. He looked so upset. I know, he's trying to be strong, but how much pain can a person take before they break down? I've had my ups and downs, but they've never been like this. I mean, his mom dies, he goes back to Wasaga and it's just one disaster after another. That city is cursed.

I took out my un-updated journal, and started writing away.

It's not like i'm jealous or anything. And I don't care about what his friends say. But when someone calls you something like that, it just hurts way too much. Granted, if they did know me, they'd never say anything like that. I hope. I mean, i'm the total opposite of a whore. Except for..what happened. But that wasn't even my fault, right? It's not like I asked that guy to rape me. He just did. He used the one strengh he had over me. No one deserves for that to happen to them. I always used to think that after Paige got raped, she was kinda asking for it. But now, i'd never think that. I don't think people understand how it feels. That's why I can't take a risk of letting anyone know.

-Ellie

I realized how much i've changed since I came to Toronto. How much has changed. Seriously, it doesn't even feel like that much has happened, but now that I think about it, so much has happened. 4 years seems like a lot, but it really goes by quickly.

Sean's POV

I woke up and Ellie, as usual, wasn't sleeping. Does this girl ever sleep?, I thought.

"God, do you ever sleep, El?"

"Yeah, at night, like normal people" she replied vainly.

"Sounds like your in a great mood..."

"I'm not in any mood right now." She got up and walked around in the empty train and finally sat down across from me. Great, I just woke up 2 minutes ago and already I screwed up everything, I thought. "Don't talk to me, I feel like crap." So I took her advice, I didn't talk to her. I didn't know what was wrong with her, but maybe it's none of my business.

The train stopped abrubtly and a low voice came out of the speaker. Attention to all passengers, we seem to be having a minor delay, and we will be back on track soon. Thank you for riding with us, and have a nice day. Just great, I have to spend more time on this train with a bunch of people I don't know and my girlfriend who hates the entire world right now. Could life get any better?

I took out one of the several books I had to read for english. Ellie gave me one of those glances, saying don't talk to me, but at the same time, practically screaming please, talk to me. I got up and sat next to her.

"What's wrong?" I asked her and she gave in.

"I don't know, I don't feel sick. I feel..weird."

"Um.." I said, searching through her bag to find something to make her feel better. I caught sight of a rubber band and gave it to her. "Here, take this. The last thing I need you to do right now is cut yourself."

"Thanks." She put it on and started snapping away. The train started moving again and a sigh of relief came over me.

"Oh, by the way, Ash is having a Christmas party tommorow. She invited us."

"Okay, whos gonna be there?"

"Me, you, um, Craig and Manny, Jimmy, Hazel and Paige, and Darcy is comming so Spinner is too. Oh, and Emma's gonna be there, too." she said the last sentance with a kind of, untrusting, tone. I gave her a reassuring look, showing that me and Emma wouldn't do anything and I kissed the top of her head. Then it hit me, Christmas was in 5 days and I hadn't gotten Ellie anything. I wanted to get her something special, something to show that after everything i've screwed up, she could trust me again, and that I loved her. I knew that she'd been wanting this necklace for a while. It was pretty expensive, but i'd saved up some money before, and I knew it was the perfect gift.

Ellie was still sick when we got home, she went straight for the bathroom and started throwing up.

"El, are you okay?"

"Yeah, probabbly just food poisening or something."

"Okay, well go to bed. I don't wanna take a chance of you getting sick. I'll go get your things from Ashley's house." I told her.

"Thanks, I love you."

"You too."

Ellie's POV

It was so weird. When i'm sick, I usually feel nauseous, like I can't hold anything down. But this time was different. I don't know why. I felt fine just a couple of days ago, I don't know. I just went straight to sleep.

When I woke up, Sean was sitting on the couch watching tv.

"Hey, feeling better?" he asked.

"Kind of. Not so much."

"I got your stuff from Ash's. She said feel better, and if you need anything, just call her."

"Thanks." I replied.

"So, hungry?"

"Nope, i'm fine. I can't keep anything down anyways." I got up and said, "i'm going back to bed."

"Do you want me to call your doctor or anything, Ellie?"
"No, i'm fine. Its just probabbly like a 24-hour flu."

"Ok." he said. I walked back into the bedroom and fell asleep.

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I really wanted to go to Ash's party. I was tired of staying at home. Despite Sean's objections, I still went to get ready.

"El, your sick, I think people will understand if you dont come. Anyways, if you don't go, i'm not going to either."

"Yeah, but I feel like 10 hundred times better." he sighed and rolled his eyes. Yeah, I could be pretty stubborn at times.

We went and mostly everyone was there. I'm guessing Ash's parents were out of of town, because they'd never let her have a party like this. There were some people I recognized, but some others I didn't.

"Hey El! Are you feeling better?" she asked.

"Yeah, kinda. Thanks." I walked inside and the first person I saw was Manny and Craig. Sean and Craig started talking, and i'm not exactly best friends with Manny, so I went to find someone else I could talk to. I saw Jimmy sitting by himself, so I went to talk to him.

"Hey! What's going on?" I asked.

"Hey, Ellie. Hm, nothing really."
"I heard that you and Hazel broke up, i'm sorry."

"Thanks. I guess we're just not meant to be." I felt really bad for him. He loved Hazel so much, and she just broke his heart.

"So, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing, everything. I don't know." We started talking for a while. I had never noticed how much of a person Jimmy was-if that makes any sense. We actually had a lot in common-he liked to draw and so did I. I don't know where Sean was this whole time, I just realized that he was with Craig or something.

After a while of talking to Jimmy, he did something kinda unexpected. He put his arm around my waist. At first, I didn't really realize what he was doing, but then it hit me, when Sean was looking for me, and he saw us. I can't even begin to explain what his expression was. Now, I kinda realize what he felt like when Emma kissed him.
"Sean..Sean!" I yelled as he ran outside.

"Ellie, dont talk to me."

"Wait, please."

"Your mad at me because I kissed Emma? Well, what are you doing with Jimmy?"
"I didn't even do anything, he just put his arm around me."

"Yeah right.." he said sternly.

"Sean..please.."

"No, don't talk to me ever again. Go back to the party, go be with Jimmy. Just don't ever talk to me, ever again you slut." And that kind of made me explode. Sean was the one who would always tell me not to listen to what people thought about me, and now he's one of them. I slapped him across the face and went back to Ashley's party. It's understandable why he was mad at me, I was being a total hypocrite. But he still has to realize that I didn't do anything, it wasn't even my fault. It's like some random person can go up to Sean and kiss him, and it's okay for me to get pissed at him?

That night, Sean didn't come back. I was still a little mad, but more worried. I hadn't seen him since that whole episode. I don't know where he could have gone. Sometimes when he's angry, he storms off and goes to clear his mind a little, but he comes back after an hour or two. It'd been 4 hours. It was 12 in the morning and he was no where to be found. I sat on Ash's lawn, waiting for him to come back, but he never did. He was the one who told me never to walk home alone, and that he would always be there. But he wasn't. And I guess that kind of scared me a little, because I knew that so far, he was the only stable thing in my life. Craig and Manny were the last to leave.

"Hey, El, do you need a ride home?" Craig asked.

"No, but have you seen Sean?"

"Um, I was talking to him before, I don't know. I think he left."

"He's been gone for 4 hours. I have no idea where he is and he wont pick up his cell phone." I told him.

"Do you wanna go look for him?" Manny asked. I would have never thought that in a million years, Manny would be offering her boyfriend's ex's best friend a ride, let alone be at her boyfriend's ex's house? But I guess she would know how it felt, guys wouldn't mind as much, but for girls it's much different.

"Um, yeah, thanks. I mean, he usually would come back but I don't know where he went." We looked everywhere and he was no where to be found. Craig dropped Manny off at home, and we were gonna go around once more, then give up. There was hardly anyone in the streets at that time. I kept searching around, when a bright light caught my attention. At first it was far away, but at the rate we were going, and at the rate the driver was going --

"Craig! Watch out!" I screamed and that bright light came closer to us until we collided.