A/N: Come on..i give you guys 2 chapters in less than 2 days and no reviews? Seriously, please try to review!

Ellie's POV

Ring, ring, ring. I waited impatiently for Jimmy to pick up. But he didn't, it just went on his voicemail. Sean would always pick up on me. Two minutes later, my phone rang and it was Jimmy.

"Hey," I said, answering, "I called you before, but you didn't pick up."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"It's okay. So, are you busy today?"

"No, but we need to talk."
"Ok...about?" I asked.

"Just stuff. But come over, okay?"
"Um, okay. I'll be there soon."

I walked outside and started getting ready. I wanted to know what he wanted to talk to me about. I mean, we've only been going out for like 2 weeks, what could be wrong? Sean and Emma have been going out the same as us, 2 weeks. They seem fine. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe i'm overreacting.

I started to go outside and the cold winter air isolated me. I put one hand in my jacket pocket, the other holding the prescription the doctor had given me. I had forgotten to get it so I figured i'd pick it up now.

I walked into the pharmacy and went towards the desk.

"I need to pick up this prescription." I told the pharmacist. She went into the back room and got a little white bag with a bottle of pills inside it. She told me to sign the book on the desk and gave me the bag.

"Thank you." I said, almost running off.

Some people saying that the worst feeling in the world is not-knowing. And it's completely true. The whole 10 minute walk there caused a million thoughts to come in my mind. I finally got to his house and rang the doorbell - it felt like 5 hours before he answered.

"Hey Ellie." I gave him a kiss and walked inside.

"Hey. So...you wanted to talk?" I asked.

"Yeah. Sit down." he said, gesturing to one of the couches. I sat down and he wheeled himself next to me. "Okay, well we've been going out for 2 weeks. And it's not like I don't love hanging out with you..." I knew what was comming.

"But, you want to break up..." I said nodding my head.

"No, I really don't. But I don't think that i'm completely over Hazel. And it wouldn't be fair to you to have a boyfriend who isnt a good one. Ellie, you don't deserve a boyfriend who's still not over his ex. But I certainly know one boyfriend who's not over his ex, he would be perfect for you..."

"So, we're breaking up, aren't we?"
"Ellie, i'm really sorry.."
"No, no. Don't worry about it, don't worry about me." I got up and walked out the door. Tears started to run down my face, and started to smear my eyeliner. But my makeup was the last thing I was worried about right now. I couldn't take this. Everytime I fell for someone, they'd end up breaking my heart in return. Marco, Sean, now Jimmy. I felt so used, I felt so horrible. I walked back inside the apartment and I felt like I was going insane. I couldn't stand still. I needed to do it, I needed to relieve some pain. Just one cut, it's not a big deal. But I couldn't do it, I had already made four cuts on my arms the night before, 5 would be too many. I was shaking. And Sean? Sean was just on the couch, talking to Emma on the phone.

"No...yeah..haha, yeah.." he didn't even notice me. He didn't notice that I was pouring my eyes out right next to him. "All right...okay...Em, I love you."

And that's what caught my attention. Those last three words he said to her. I love you. It took us over a year to tell each other that we loved each other, and he could tell her that, in less than 2 weeks. I couldn't even tell what I was feeling. I just knew, that I was going to burst out crying pretty soon. I got up and walked into the bathroom, and slammed the door. Something bright glimmered in the light and caught my eye. I took the the arm of the razor and looked at it. Sides debated in my head, whether or not I should do it. I guess a third opinion got involved, because before I knew it, there he was. Sean took the razor out of my hand, and gave me a rubber band.

"Leave me alone! No one freaking cares about me, who's gonna care if I cut myself or not?" I said, still crying and sitting on the hard bathroom floor.

"I care."

"No, you don't! If anything, all you care about is messing me up! It's like your fucking hobby..." and the most unexpected thing happened. He kissed me. He knew how to make me feel better, he knew exactly what would make me feel better.

"Sean, I can't. You and Emma..."

"...broke up. Last monday."

"But, how can that be? You just told her you loved her..." he took out his cell phone and clicked a few buttons. Then he turned it around and showed me. In big letters displayed on recent calls showed the last one, VOICEMAIL. "You faked it..." I sighed. "Why did you do that?"

"Because you were with Jimmy. You moved on. I didn't." I kissed him back. It felt so good, like one of those long awaited kisses you see in movies. But what started as an innocent kiss, didn't end that way. It soon turned into a make-out session. And i'm typically not that kind of girl, but this time, it wasn't about making out, it was about being together. Finally, after everything, being together.

We ended up going from the bathroom to the bedroom, I don't even know how that happened. We were sitting on the bed, still making out, when I felt Sean's hand trail up my leg and into the back of my shirt. I knew what he wanted. He wanted sex. Every touch sent chills down my spine. But what scared me the most, it was the same kind of chills I felt when that guy raped me. I flinched, but I don't think he noticed. I didn't want to make it obvious. I wanted everything to be normal. And I wanted to do this.

But I couldn't.

All the memories flooded back into my head. It replayed like a scratched CD. Over and over, until I couldn't take it. I could feel the hot tears swelling up in my eyes, but I stopped them. I stopped myself. He noticed and looked back up at me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, nothing. I'm fine." I lied and he looked at me unsurely. He knew I was lying. He knew everything about me, which made me want to do this even more.

"Listen, I don't want you to do something if your not ready to. I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to."

"Sean..."

"No, it's okay. You're not ready, I understand." I knew he was sort of still pissed off. He rubbed his face and just lied down. I felt so horrible, he's done so much for me, and I can't even do a simple thing like this for him. I wanted to do it, so badly. I went to lie down next to him and started kissing him and kissing his neck.

He stopped me. "El, you and I both know that you don't want to do this. So don't, okay? I really get it. It's ok." He did sort of a half-smile, which meant that he was kinda disappointed, but it was ok.

"I love you."

"I love you too."