FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

Dear (place name here)

BY: SAKURA SAGURA

Disclaimer: Really, who on this site could own the rights to Fullmetal Alchemist? I know for sure I don't… cries No fair!

Alphonse looked around the pale blue room. He was sitting in a black leather chair that was beside a similar chair where Edward was snoozing away. He looked up to see a finely polished wooden desk with the back of a teal-blue lazy boy behind it. He could hear a voice from the lazy boy.

" Yeah their here… No… Hahahahaha! That's a good idea! I'll have to use it! Uh…. Sure I guess I could… Okay thanks Mimi… Yeah, talk to you later. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye-bye…Bye. BYE ALREADY!" Al saw an arm slam the phone down. Then the chair turned around.

" …Hello, do you know where we are?" Al asked the girl. She had curly dark blue hair that went down to her shoulders, teal-blue eyes that matched the chair perfectly, a light tan, and she wore what looked light a black and white Japanese school uniform with gray sneakers. The girl smiled at Al while she stood up and held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you Alphonse! You can call me Skaii Shii.(A/N that's my name in this fic pronounced as 'Sky She')" Skaii smiled, her hand still out stretched. Al suddenly realized this and shook her hand.

" It's nice to meet you, I guess… But Skaii, where are we?" Al asked meekly, letting go of her hand. Skaii sat on the edge of her desk trying to warm up her hand.

" In my office." She replied smiling at the very confused Al.

"… Are you in the military?" Al asked wondering if she was another prodigy like Ed. Then looking at Ed (who was drooling and had his stomach out), whose chair had some how become a sofa; Al wondered how Ed was ever considered a prodigy… " You seem awful young to be in the military though…"

" Haha! You think I'm in the military? That's hilarious!" Skaii started laughing. This however only made Al more confused.

" So…? Your not?" Al scooted back a little in his chair. Ed lazily sat up a bit dazed.

" Alphonse are we in Central yet?" Ed asked rubbing his eyes. Skaii instantly stopped laughing to view Ed. Al didn't even know and Skaii wasn't telling him very much.

" Your in my office!" Skaii said cheerfully. Ed looked up at the unfamiliar voice. He stared for a bit before looking around the room.

" Al, how'd we get here? And who is she?" Ed asked looking at Al. Last time he knew, he'd fallen asleep on the train. Al shrugged,

" All I know is that her name is Skaii Shii." They both looked at where Skaii had been sitting… but she wasn't there.

" Where'd she go? She was just here!" Ed exclaimed and ran to check behind the desk. No one was there, so he looked in the drawers while Al looked at the wall behind the chairs.

" EDWARD!" Al shouted. Ed stood up, jumped over the desk, and ran past the chairs.

" What is it?" He asked once he was standing by his brother. Al pointed to the wall. Ed studied the area. It had several framed photographs on the pale blue wall, a small desk in the right corner with pens and pencils spread across it, something that looked like a radio and book had fused, books and papers, and a small aquarium that could be considered death row for fish. On the left side was a bookshelf that was crammed full of books with the oddest titles such as Inuyasha a feudal fairy tale, D.N.Angel, Flame of Recca, Fruits Baskets, Love Hina, and strangely enough… Fullmetal Alchemist.

-This scene was cut cause I was unable to write their hilarious faces-

Ed stepped forward and took out one of the books. He read the words out loud, "Viz Media… action… Fullmetal Alchemist, story and art by Hiromu Arakawa, 3…" Ed flipped through the pages while Al looked over his shoulder (which wasn't hard considering the height distance). " I can't believe this…" Ed said with disbelief. Al stared at the page Ed was on. The art was finely detailed and looked almost exactly like them. Although in his opinion, Ed looked more evil like and possibly shorter.

" I know what you mean." Al said reading the newly flipped to page. " This is creepy though… I mean how'd they do this? I'm so confused!" Al whimpered/yelled and grabbed his head. Ed glared at the panels.

" I WON THAT FIGHT! THAT FRICK'N MUSTANG DIDN'T!" Ed yelled at the book. Playing with the idea to rip the page into a billion pieces. Then he paused and looked at the next page… "EEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!" Ed dropped the book and started to rub his eyes like crazy. " My eyes! They BURN!" Al picked up the book. He turned to the page and froze.

"GYAAAAAAAH!" Al then dropped the book and proceeded to run around the tiny room like a crazed chicken that lost its head. " I can't see! Brother help!" Al cried. That was more of granny Pinako then they ever wanted to see…

" I leave the room for 5 minutes and this is what happens." Skaii bent down and picked up the discarded book. " You bent it too." She said unhappily glaring at the crumpled pages. She sighed and the book looked as good as new.

" Ahh… my eyes…" Ed whimpered while he lay in a tight bundle on the floor. Al was rubbing his eyeholes on the helmet with a handkerchief. Skaii placed the book back in its place. Next thing Ed knew he was on the sofa again and Al was in his chair.

"What just…?" Al asked no one in particular. Ed looked around pretty freaked out. Skaii was watching them attentively.

" Well," Ed stood up brushing off his rumpled red coat. " We should probably be going now…" Ed turned his head this way and that. Skaii placed her feet on top of her desk and looped her hands behind her head watching the alchemist struggle.

" Uh, brother. What I was trying to tell you earlier was…" Al started but was cut off by Ed.

" Where's the DOOR?" Ed grabbed his head and bawled. Al sweat dropped and covered his face with one hand and said,

" There isn't one… that's what I was trying to tell you." Al sighed and glanced at Skaii. She just gave him a 'what?' face.

"Fine then…" Ed said triumphantly smiling, clapping his hands. " If there isn't a door then make your own!" he slammed his hands on the pale blue wall. A flash of light made Skaii and Al cover up their eyes. "Ah ha! Come on Al lets go!" Ed grabbed the wooden handle; Al got up and ran to Ed, Skaii just sat there watching. This seemed odd to Al, why wasn't she stopping them? She didn't even say anything… oh well as long as he got out of here he didn't care. Once the door was opened Ed started to run threw it, only to fall back on his butt.

" Brother, are you okay?" Al asked helping his startled brother up. Skaii scooted her chair over a bit to see what had happened. Ed had made a door sure enough, but in that door was another.

" What the hell?" Ed gawked at the next door. It was a dark green steel door with a brass handle. He pulled the door open.

" Edward how many doors did you make?" Al asked pulling a straw door open. And still there was another door.

" I only planned on making one." Ed muttered. This time an old wooden door that looked like if some one were to touch it, it would collapse stood in front of them. This one's handle was on the left unlike the doors before. " Well," Ed sighed gripping the splintering handle, " There's bound to be something on the other side of these stupid doors." Al nodded and turned back to Skaii, who was happily munching on some popcorn.

" Aren't you going to stop us?" Al asked. Skaii shrugged as she watched Ed fling open a paper door, accidentally ripping it out.

" Whoops… You weren't using this right?" Ed asked a bit overwhelmed. Skaii shook her head. " Of course you weren't." Ed continued to open doors this way and that.

" Here brother let me." Al walked over and opened a 10in brick door to the side. " Brother, I think we should tear off some of these opened doors." Ed waved his hand that Al could pretty much tell meant 'yeah, go ahead'. Al ripped off the 25 or so doors they had already gone threw and dumped them by the smaller desk. Ed sat down and looked at Skaii.

" So when we make it through you'll let us go? Just like that?" He asked whipping sweat off his face.

" I'm not stopping you now am I?" Skaii asked as she watched Al open a chrome door. Ed thought about that. She wasn't was she? Maybe there was something bad on the other side.

" No, I guess not." Ed said taking off his coat and laying it on the sofa's edge. Just then something ice-cold and wet fell onto Ed, who jumped up with a yelp, the yelp causing Al to accidentally break a door in two as he turned around. " What the hell was that?" He cried glaring at Skaii. She was leaning over the back of the sofa with a bottle of water in hand.

" You were sweating." She stated simply. Ed glared at her anger marks appearing on his now drenched head.

" SO YOU POURED WATER ON ME!" Ed yelled at Skaii who, to Ed's surprise, wasn't there anymore. " Skaii?" Ed looked around.

" Al, here take a rest okay." Skaii moved Al aside and pulled, what looked like a mini garage door, up. Al walked over to his shivering brother and sat down.

" Are you sure we should be letting HER open them?" Ed spat. Al glanced at Skaii who was now opening what looked like a jail cell door.

"Not really, but she doesn't seem evil at all. Maybe we can trust her…" Al whispered. Ed glared at Skaii's back.

" I can't believe this…" Ed mumbled. Al looked over at him.
" Neither can I. I mean we were just on our way to Central and some how we ended up here." Al said tiredly. " We've barley been here and already everything seems… strange."

" That's not what I meant."

" Huh? Then what did you mean?"

" Skaii."

" Yeah I'll admit she's definitely unusual. Like things just pop up out of no where and the door thing and the book and-"

" No. I'm not talking about that…"

" Then what are you talking about?"

" How old does she look to you?"

" How old?" Now Al was lost. It seemed like Ed didn't care about any of the abnormal things, just how old Skaii was. Then it hit him. Skaii was at least an inch or two taller then Ed. This had happened with Russell. " Uh, she looks like she's about…" Al tried to think of an age older than Edward that Skaii's looks could fit in to.

" I was thinking about 17 or 18…" Ed's eyes stared directly at Al. Making it even harder for him to lie.

" I'm 14." Came Skaii's voice. They looked upward. She was sitting there, Indian style, on the back edge of the sofa.

" Really?" Al asked Skaii, hoping for his brother she was older.

" Yep! I just turned 14 last week!" Skaii smiled. Ed fell over with little moans of 'noooooooooooo!' every now and then.

" Then you're the same age as me." Al said trying to keep Skaii from talking to Ed too much. " Though I'll be 15 soon."

" Really? Cool. So, Ed's 16 and you and I are 14. That works out nicely." Skaii leaned back and rolled off the sofa.

" Skaii! Are you okay?" Al asked abruptly standing up. She wasn't there.

" Leave me alone!" Ed ordered. Al looked down; Skaii was poking Ed's side while he was curled up in a ball.

" Tell me what's wrong and I'll let you pout." Skaii continued to poke Ed. Al sighed and went to go pull some more doors.

" No way!" Ed muffled yell sounded awfully ticked.

" Come on what could be so bad?"

" You're lying about your age…" Ed peeked over his black sleeve.

" Oh. I forgot about that. Sorry, I'm not lying. You just need to learn that there are some people out there taller then you. Even some that are younger." Skaii couldn't quite make out what was said next, but it sounded as though he had used a few colorful words. " You want me shorter then you right?"

" I'm NOT SHORT!" Ed sat up swiftly.

" She didn't say that brother." Al called over his shoulder. Skaii smiled, and then for no real reason at all she started to giggle. Ed and Al stared at her.

" What the hell is so amusing?" Ed asked a bit taken back. She calmed down a bit and said,

" I love it when you do that!" Skaii chuckled a bit before completely calming down.

" Okay then miss crazy…" Ed said to himself. Al went back to opening doors. Skaii stood up and asked,

" Ed, want some coffee? And Al, would you like some oil?" Skaii walked over to her desk and lifted some papers.

" No thank you." Al said politely. How'd she know he was empty? Maybe she didn't and she just heard his armor creek or something.

" Why would I want coffee from you?" Ed spat standing up and frowning at her.

" Because I use all of my water on you."

" So now you're going to pour coffee on me?"

" No, it's for you to drink. And I wouldn't pour coffee on anyone intentionally."

" I know that."

" Then why'd you ask?"

" Because I don't trust you."

" You're kind of rude aren't you?"

" Shut up."

" You can't make me."

" Want to bet?"

" Why? You and I both know you'll lose."

" Yeah right, what gave you that idea?" Ed asked angrily. Al thought that Skaii and Edward could go on arguing for hours. Skaii stood there, facing Ed, hands on her hips. And an idea came to her mind, one that would enrage Ed.

" What gives me that idea you ask? Well for one thing you're so short that even if you stood on a chair you couldn't reach my mouth." Skaii said this so matter-of-factly that Al though she could give Roy a run for his money. Just as Skaii had predicted Ed was ticked.

"WHOAREYOUCALLINGSOSHORTTHATEVENIFHEHADACHAIRTOSTANDONHECOULDN'TREACHYOURMOUTH!" Ed howled and waved his arms around in the air.

" Brother she didn't… No wait, she did say that, okay then never mind." Al went back to his work. He open a duck framed door and the next door was a plain wooden one that had a note on it. "Brother look!"

" You got to the other side?" Ed ran over ecstatic to get out. Al shook his head and pointed to the door's note.

" A note. See?" Al stepped away so Ed could open the doors. The note said 'You'. Ed opened the door and the next one said 'are'.

" 'You are'? Ed keep opening doors." Al said keeping the words in mind. The next one said 'almost', the next door was 'there', and the next '!'.

" 'You are almost there!' Really? Great we'll finally be getting out of this place!" Ed grinned and opened the door it had the word 'Ha' on it. The next few doors spelled out 'Hahahahaa! I can't believe you fell for that,' Now Ed and Al were mad as heck.

" I can't believe this!" Al yelled, " They just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on!"

" What kind of idiot did this…" Ed spat out like he was dying to break something. " We've probably gone through 1,000 doors! And we're not even a foot into the wall!" This was true. No matter how many doors they went through, no matter how thick, they had barely made any progress! Al turned around to look for Skaii. She was gone… and so were the doors.

" Brother, look at that door." Al said grimly.

" Yeah, so what. It's just another stupid door. " Ed asked disgusted and not wanting to look at anymore doors for a long time after this.

" Look at the design." Al said. Ed studied it. It was simple, a pale blue door, with a bit of fine decoration on the rims, and…

" THIS IS THE DOOR I MADE!" Ed yelled. This did not make any sense what so ever.

" Hold on, hold on. Lets just open the door and see the next word. This last one had a comma so there must be a word on the next one." Al said hopefully. Ed sighed and walked over to his coat. He put it on as he was walking back to Al.

" Got everything?" Al asked as Ed gripped the handle. Ed nodded and got ready for whatever was on the next door. Ed flung it open and stared at it. Al placed his hand over his armor face and groaned. Of all the words they could of chosen they had to be…

" I'M NOT AN 'INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE BEAN'!" Ed shouted actually breaking down the door. The note had the words ' you insignificant little bean' written on it. And underneath the writing was a drawing of Ed under a magnify glass sitting on a bean. Al's hand fell to his side as he looked through the doorway. Ed was sitting on his butt, on top of the door, staring at something. Al scrunched his way through the doorway. And when he entered the room he fell to his butt too.

"Brother… this is the same room." Al gasped looking around. Skaii was on the phone with her feet on the table.

" Really? Letters, you think? … All right… Yeah I know… Okay love you mom… bye." She hung up the phone and gazed at the overwhelmed brothers. " I suppose you want to know why you're here, right?" Skaii placed her feet on the ground and leaned forward, placing her chin on her hands, smiling.

" WHAT DO YOU THINK?" Ed yelled clenching his fists. Al sighed. His brother wasn't ever going to learn manners, was he?

" Okay Mr. Rude I'll tell you." Skaii smiled, " I'll be blunt. You have fans, which of course would like to send you stuff such as letters and gifts. I'm not saying I won't accept fans giving you gifts, but I'm hoping they'll send letters."

" That was not blunt." Al cringed at what his brother might be thinking.

" Well I wasn't done." Skaii stood up and glimpsed at them for a moment. " I'm just giving your fans the chance to write to you and get feedback that's all. Oh, and no time that you spend here will be taken from your daily lives."

" What?" Ed had one of his famous 'what are you talking about' expressions.

" The fans need to review for me to know what to ask. I'll simply read the letter to you and you'll respond. Although, I don't mind how many times your fans review, as long as each time they give me a letter it only has 5 or less questions." Skaii ate some of the cupcake that magically appeared and waited. Ed and Al weren't sure if she was talking to them anymore... " So anyway, the rules are as followed: review in letter form, ask 5 or less questions, no strong language, ask anyone from FMA and they'll be here unless I can't find them. Oh, and keep little signs and face expressions out of the letter. And if this goes well I'll invite 1… maybe 2 guests to come and talk with us." Skaii bowed to the nice people reading this. " Okay that's all bye-bye."

" No wait! SKAII!" Al shouted as the room started to change.

" Great." Ed whined, " We'll never get out of here."

Skaii: Woo hoo! 1 down how many letters we get to go!

Ed: Please shut up.

Same time

Al: Please review.

Skaii: Aw, they both said please. Well, you heard them. I won't post the next chapter till I get some reviews.

Al: It is equivalent exchange…

Ed: Yeah. You read this stupid story and review and you get more… Wait a second… That's not equivalent exchange!

Skaii: Yes it is! Please review. You're aloud to tick off these people as much as you want!

Al and Ed: Don't believe her!

Skaii: See you next time!