Dear (place name here)
Chapter 2
By Sakura Sagura
Disclaimer… Ed: You don't own us.
Skaii: I don't own you… really?
Ed and Al: Can we leave yet?
Skaii: Hmm… Nope.
Al: Please!
Ed: You don't own us so you can't keep us!
Skaii: That won't stop me!
Ed and Al: GET AWAY!
- Page is ripped off- thoughts "spoken"
Ed was lying on his stomach, drooling a bit, on a cushy train seat. He rolled over onto his side and inhaled deeply. He had had the weirdest dream! He and his brother had met the most peculiar girl. Who was able to make things out of thin air and had eerie books… that lied! Then he had tried to escape by making a door, but somehow there had been 100s after it! Once they finally got through they ended up in an identical room! The girl, Skaii Shii, started talking gibberish, the room started changing, and next thing he knew he was on the train again. Should I tell Al? Ed sat up and scratched his head.
" Morning sleepy Ed!" That was not Al's voice… Ed was afraid to look.
" GAAACK!" He jumped back when he saw who was sitting across from him.
" How was your nap? I wish I could take naps… But I'm always so busy." Skaii opened a little reddish-brown box and handed Ed something he didn't recognize. It was an egg-shaped, light green, thing. He stared at it.
" What is that?" Ed glanced up at Skaii, who was popping one into her mouth.
" Tic-tac." Skaii said with her hand still held out.
" That doesn't tell me much."
" It freshens your breath. You don't want bed-breath do you?"
" I'll try it." Ed took it and examined it in his fingers. " You didn't poison it did you?"
" Yeah Ed I did." Skaii watched as Ed dropped it and scooted away from her. Well, he could only go left or right… " I was joking. What kind of sick twisted hostess would I be if I poisoned you?"
" You mean you aren't sick and twisted?" Ed asked innocently. This however, only got him a smack on the head. " That really doesn't help, you know." Ed muttered as head rubbed the bump he had gotten.
" Oh, brother you're awake!" Al said as he stopped beside the seat, holding a tray full of food.
" Thank you. Alphonse, why are we the only ones with good manners?" Skaii asked taking the tray of food and set it on the counter that had appeared. Al sat down next to Ed.
" I don't know for sure." He looked at Ed, who was glaring at Skaii. We were both raised the same way. Maybe Ed had an accident…
" I think he had an accident too." Skaii muttered to herself. Luckily no one heard her. " Well, Al was kind enough to fetch us some food, so lets eat!" Skaii grabbed some chopsticks and a piece of crab. Ed got his chopsticks and grabbed more than enough for his 7½ stomachs. Al gingerly took a small sardine and stuck it into his armor.
"MEOOW!"
" Al, what was that?" Ed asked after chocking on some corn bread. Al scooted back a bit.
" Nothing! I was uh…" Al seemed lost for words.
" Meow meow. I like kitty cats!" Came from in side of Al. They both gawked at Al's abdomen area.
" Al… did you pick up a cat or what?" Ed asked as he gaped at him. Al couldn't speak, he was sure he had picked up a cat on the train.
" What d'you mean 'or what'?" The voice asked angrily. Whoever was inside started hammering on Al. " I can't breathe!" The two brothers started freaking out long before they got around to helping…
-5 min later-
" Thanks guys, I though I'd be stuck in you forever." Skaii said leaning on the window.
" How'd you get inside me?" Al asked a bit startled. Ed was sitting on the seat across from Skaii, glaring, and positively ticked. She shrugged and closed her eyes. Ed looked out the window. It was already late afternoon. The countryside was out of the ordinary though. Ed leaned over to see what he was hoping wasn't there.
" ALPHONSE LOOK!" Ed shouted as his stomach felt butterflies make themselves at home. Al looked out the window at the scenery.
" WHAT ON EARTH!" Now it was Al's turn to get a visit from some butterflies. The sky was a light cerulean with small emerald dotted clouds that shadowed the landscape. The orange-yellow colored oversize blades of grass must have been at least 6in wide and 3 feet tall, the trees had floral designs across them, and the leaves looked like they had words printed on them. They could see tall jagged buildings in the distance with colored smoke coming from the tops, but aside from that, there was nothing that looked populated.
" Al," Ed started, getting a hold on himself. Al glanced at his brother a bit shaken.
" What is it brother?" Al asked as he saw something trying to catch up with the train.
" I don't think we're in Amestris anymore." Right after Ed was done talking Al quickly open the window, caught something, and close the window. Ed, who had fallen on the floor, stood up and glared at Al. " What was that for?"
" Look at it." Al opened his hands. A small blonde bird, with a note tied to its foot, was catching its breath. The bird perked up its leg for Ed to take the note off.
Dear Edward,
Do us all a favor and water balloon Mustang. Better get on with da questions.
Will you go out with me?
Who do you hate the most? Envy or Roy?
Will you go out with me?
Do you like ice cream?
That's all. Bbl,
Minimuffin
The boys reread it again and again. Skaii leaned over and snatched the note.
" Weren't you sleeping?" Ed asked trying to get the note back. Al scooted over so she didn't have to sit with Ed. Skaii sat down and smiled handing the note to Ed.
" Better answer your fan." She watched as the small bird jumped around in Al's large hands. Ed reread the letter.
" Why?" He asked blushing a little. Al handed the bird to Skaii.
" Its polite brother." Al said cheerfully.
" Fine I'll answer… No I won't go out with you. I don't even know who you are… Colonel Mustard and Palm tree are equally irritating. But Mustang hasn't tried to kill me… yet, so probably the cross-dressing palm tree."
" Careful, don't try to use big words. Your equally small brain might blow." Skaii laughed a little at the face she received.
" Shut up Skaii! For the last time Minimuffin I'm not going out with you… And why would I like ice cream? It's almost as bad as milk! Its like your eating frozen cow pee!" After hearing this Al and Skaii started laughing. " Thanks for the idea Minimuffin… I think I will water balloon Mustang." Ed said through clenched teeth trying to ignore them. That is if I ever get away…
" Ed, you need to flip the card over." Skaii said rubbing the bird's tummy.
" Do this do that! Am I the only one who does anything around here?" He flipped the card over.
Dear Havoc,
I need help convincing that 4kids is evil and do you have playboy magazines cause' you act like it.
Sailor N
" What is this Sailor talking about? We haven't seen Havoc in ages." Ed asked frustrated. Skaii took out the reddish-brown box and opened it, grabbed at something and pulled.And out came Havoc.
" WHAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ed and Al shouted and jumped back as Havoc fell to the floor.
"Where am I?" Havoc sat on the floor holding his head.
" On a train going to Yams." Skaii said rummaging around in the box. Havoc glanced at Ed and Al. When Havoc came out of the box Ed had jumped into the hall, Al had jumped, slipped on a piece of fallen food, and fell on top of Ed, and Al was now hunching over Ed trying to wake him up.
" Uh huh," Havoc stood up and brushed himself off. He looked over Skaii, Is her hair really blue? I wonder how she did that? Wait, where am I again? How did I start thinking about her hair? Am I going insane- oh, look cornbread! Havoc walked over to the abandoned table and began eating. " Yum! So where am I again?"
" On a train to Yams." Skaii said pulling out two new letters. " Here we go! I can't believe I got 4 letters already." Skaii shut the box, stood up, took the letter, and walked over to the hungry Havoc. " Here this is for you."
" A letter?" Havoc took it and read it over. Skaii snapped her fingers and the food disappeared.
" Can you answer the letter or not?" Skaii said annoyed. She needed to hurry things up.
" Uh… sure." Havoc reread the letter and cleared his throat. " I have no idea what '4kids' is. If it's a charity forget it, I mean what have kids ever done for me? Those stupid rascals in Central went and spray-painted my new car and-" Skaii tapped Havoc on the shoulder.
" This no time to take your anger out on a fan. 4kids is a company that takes good TV and babies it up." Skaii turned around and went to go get her box.
" I knew that…" Havoc muttered. " Forget what I just said… Playboy magazine huh? I have no idea what that is. (A/N: Remember, they don't know anything about our world) But if you want a date I'll be happy to go out with you…" Havoc grinned doing his best to be charming, Skaii walked over with the reddish-brown box, raised it over Havoc's head, and stuffed him back in.
"I'm so sorry but that was just a little desperate Havoc." Skaii shut the box and walked over to Ed and Al.
" He isn't waking up!" Al cried as he waved a piece of turkey over Ed's nose. Skaii smiled at Al as he tried desperately flung the turkey nearly hitting Ed.
" Here let me." Skaii said grabbing a large green baby bottle out of thin air. Al watched intently as she gently pinched Ed's nose. Unable to breathe he opened his mouth, Al had no idea what Skaii was doing. " Maybe after you drink this you'll grow an inch…" Skaii giggled, stuck the bottle in his mouth, and squeezed. Ed instantly opened his eyes and flailed his limbs around. Al finally knew what was in the bottle-Ed's most hated liquid-milk. For some reason or another Ed couldn't get the bottle out of his mouth. The taste was killing him!
" Uh, Skaii if you don't stop he'll suffocate…" Al said worryingly as he tried to hold Ed from give Skaii a concussion.
" All gone." Skaii laughed and took the bottle out of poor Ed's mouth. Ed felt horrible. " See, that wasn't so bad was it?" Skaii smiled and stood up. Ed said something about a sadistic hostess before standing up, trembling all the way.
" Now arriving in Yams, I repeat now arriving in Yams." A computer like voice stated over the intercom.
" Yay! We're here!" Skaii hollered happily and ran to the door. " Are you two coming?" Skaii asked turning to see Ed sitting in his seat holding his stomach. Al was sitting across from him and trying to find away to make Ed feel better.
" No thanks," Ed growled, "I'll wait for the next stop." Al gave an apologetic face (as well as armor can).
" Are you sure? I think you two should come-" Skaii started but was cut off by Ed…
" Brother! Are you okay?" Al asked freaking out. Skaii covered her mouth careful that she might not throw up next.
" Al, go get a bucket! And hurry, there's one in the next car!" Skaii yelled as the doors closed; signally the train was leaving. Great, now we're in for it! We needed to get of the train. The train picked up speed and it was hard to stand. Poor Ed. Skaii made her way up the aisle only to slip in Ed's 'mess'. The light in the car went out and it was pitch black.
" I swear, when this is over I'm going to-" Ed tried to yell but just ended up barfing. Skaii felt violated, not only we're they pretty much going on death row, but now she had Ed's lunch on her nice new clothes…
Ed and Al: ………………
Skaii: Whoo hoo! All right, I made it!
Ed: You jerk! I can't believe you did that!
Al: …Yuck.
Skaii: Well, it needed to be done…
Ed: YOU MADE ME DRINK MILK!
Skaii: You made me loose our stop! We were supposed to get off! But no, you had to barf!
Al: Please send reviews, (A/N: I don't mind flames or compliments, just place them before or after the letter) I really want to know where this is going…
Ed: And the sooner the chapters come up the faster we can leave.
Skaii: They won't be leaving any time soon. Oh, thanks for the reviews! I'll get to the other letters later. Sorry if Havoc was kind of… I really wasn't expecting to get Havoc right away. Oh, and make sure the characters know what in the world you're talking about.
Ed: Kind of a blabber aren't you?
Skaii: Kind of short aren't you?
Al: I have barf on my foot…
Ed and Skaii: …Yuck.