FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST
Dear (place name here)
CHAPTER 3
BY SAKURA SAGURA
Disclaimer…
Skaii: Ah! This is so much fun! I already have 5 reviews! (A/N: My first fanfic (I have more to be posted))
Ed: Grrr… Be quiet! I'm still trying to recover from last chapter…
Al: My foot still smells like vomit.
Skaii: For the first time… I'm actually glad I don't own you.
Ed and Al: SO WE CAN GO?
Skaii: No, I just wanted to see your reaction.
"Ew, my clothes." Skaii could feel the retched odor slither up her nostrils. (A/N: While I was writing this I could actually smell the vomit. No lie! Last chapter too.) She tried to move her body but the train was moving to fast. Great, Al's not here, Ed's probably sticking to the chair, I have Ed's lunch on me, and we're all going to die! Little anger marks appeared on Skaii's sweating head. I hope Al's fairing well…Mean while in car 5
" Now where's that bucket?" Al asked himself as he looked around the perfectly ordinary car. As far as Al knew they were riding peacefully to where ever. He looked under a seat only to find that who ever had been sitting here earlier didn't like their gum. I don't even want to know what this stuff is…(A/N: They might know what gum is. All I know is that it was something 'new' in Europe after World War 2) He stood up and gazed about the room. Something had hit him. Where were the people? This is weird. Even for here… Where ever 'here' is. He took a few steps forward down the aisle. Al sighed. Skaii must have been wrong, there isn't a bucket here. He looked at the floor. There was a note the simply said.
Look up you fool!
" Rude little note…" Al grumbled but looked up anyway. On the ceiling was a case that had the words ' Open if a blonde midget is throwing up and you have no idea where you're train is going'. Al stared at the case. Okay, I've seen a lot of weird things but that's just too weird. Even so he didn't argue, he reached up and opened the case.
" WINNER! WINNER!" A voice yelled out of nowhere. Al jumped, confetti dropped out of the case along with the bucket.
" Who are you?" Al asked his voice quivering a little as he picked up the bucket.
" I am the train conductor, Rogger Welings (A/N: Roger Wellings)!" An old man then fell out of the small case nearly landing on Al. The man looked in his 60s, he wore a straw hat, small glasses, a white long sleeve shirt, a stripe blue and green pajama pants, and wooden clogs. Rogger held out his hand.
" Nice to meet you Mr. Welings." Al shook the old man's hand.
" Nice to meet you to m'lad."
" Alphonse, Alphonse Elric."
" Bond, James Bond."
" Who?"
" Forget it. Anyway, you're the first to open the case!"
" I see." Al let go of his hand. " What I win?"
" Nothing."
" 'Nothing'?"
" Yep."
" Then how am I the winner?"
" Well, you did win something."
" What is it?"
" My gratitude. I've been locked up in that case for a long time!"
" You have? Are you okay? How long?"
" 15-"
" 15 days! YOU POOR THING!"
" I was going to say minutes but that works too." The man laughed at Al, who was outright humiliated.
" Opps, but wait a second…" Al stared at the old man. Suddenly panic over flowed him. " If you're the train driver then who's driving?" Al asked and or cried, grabbing his helmet and nearly tearing it off. The man gave Al a stern look of total seriousness.
" Beats me! But I got to use the toilet!" Rogger chuckled as he walked past Al and grasped the handle of the door. Al picked up the bucket and walked to the door. If he were in his human body he'd probably be wetting his pants.
--Back with Skaii--
"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew." Skaii mumbled as the vomit sank deeper into her outfit. This was new too! Skaii was angry and she felt sick. I promise myself I'll never feed a passed out Ed milk when we're traveling on a train to Yams again. Skaii tried to move her fingers but the weight was horrendous. Suddenly there was light. She strained to see. Next thing she knew there was a suit of armor on her left and a bucket on her right.
" Hi Skaii, I found the bucket!" Al said happily only to receive a glare from Skaii. " What? What did Ed do now?"
" You opened the case?" Skaii asked angrily. Al nodded. " Idiot! Not that bucket! The bucket!"
" Huh? What bucket? That was the only one!"
" Did you look EVERYWHERE?"
"…Maybe."
" You know what you did?"
" Got a bucket."
" You let out my-" Skaii didn't finish. All of a sudden the lights came on and the train stopped accelerating. Skaii was face down on the floor along with Al and the bucket. Al looked up at a light only to see Mr. Welings standing upside down holding a light bulb.
" Don't you hate it when bulbs burn out? All of this blubber happens then." The old man huffed and the bulb turned into a hamburger with extra cheese. Al stared at him.
" You do know you're upside down, right?" Al asked confused as ever. Mr. Welings stared at Al and Skaii.
" I was going to ask you the same thing." He smiled. Before Al knew what was going on, he fell and landed on the ceiling.
" Gaaak!" Ed fell from his seat next to Al.
" Yuck." Al scooted away an inch or two. Ed sat up and started wiping the yuckness off of his black jacket.
" And people ask why I hate milk…" Ed grumbled and looked around. They were on the ceiling and he made a mental note to expect anything at any time from now on. "…Say Al,"
" What is it brother?"
" Where are Skaii and that old man?" Unexpectedly the car flipped again and they both fell to the floor.
" Glad to see your all better!" Skaii smiled and snapped her fingers. Ed's clothes were all clean now, along with the rest of the place. Skaii's clothes were also different. She was wearing a aqua t-shirt that had the words in dark blue 'I'm with the bean', she had dark jeans on that looked had at least 15 pockets on each leg, and black shoes with the words in red 'Bean-squisher'. Ed wanted to kill Skaii but refrained. Instead he sat down and glared a powerful glare, a more powerful glare that he ever powerfully glared at anyone powerfully glaring... or something like that.
" This is Edward right?" Mr. Welings asked Skaii. She nodded and returned Ed's glare. Feeling left out Mr. Welings glared too. Al sweat dropped, This is too strange.
" I know isn't it?" Skaii said as she stopped glaring to glance at Al and then the floor.
" Uh, yeah." Al needed to see some sanity soon or else.
" Well I need to take a poop, so see you." Mr. Welings disappeared in a puff of smoke.
" Okay then… How about some letters!" Skaii said blissfully as she pulled some out of nowhere. Instead of words she received two glares. " Fine then I'll read them to you."
Dear Ed,
I think that girl is crazy, and she has no right to call you short, (since your not) but she does have the right to tick you off. Question; what would you prefer, an auto mail with out a sword that looks like a real arm, or a auto mail with a sword that's just metal? Cause I can make you an auto mail (and it won't hurt, I have one myself, and I did it myself) that looks like a real arm.
Sincerely,
Lebragirl25
" What does she mean 'that girl is crazy'? I am not! And my name isn't 'that girl'! It is Skaii Shii!" Skaii flared her fists crunching the letter. Ed laughed, finally some pay back!
" That girl is crazy I agree. Your right, I am NOT short and that girl has no right to call me short!" Ed said triumphantly. Al sighed at his brother.
" What about the other half?" Al asked folding his arms. Ed thought for a moment.
" She doesn't have the right to tick me off!" Ed declared as Skaii started to sniggered and said,
" It doesn't take much Ed."
" Stuff it!"
" See?"
" I'm trying to answer my fan's question here!"
" Fine, go ahead."
" As I was saying… I don't think I want an auto mail arm that looks real. It be to hard. I mean, it look like my goal… How much do you coast? Winry makes me pay a fortune! She should be paying me with all the brain damage she could give me!"
" Well, that explains a few things…" Skaii whispered to Al. They both started to laugh. Ed did his best to ignore them.
" Maybe I'll come by for a tune up. Tell me the coast then I'll think about a new arm… You should challenge Winry." Ed did his best but there were still a few grumbled words.
" Nice job Edward." Skaii said clapping with Al. Ed glanced at them and blushed a bit. " Anyway here is the next one."
(Lol! I love this! Here is one for you.)
Dear Ed and Al,
Hi! This is Lily Evans, your number one fan! I have long red hair, emerald green eyes; I'm kind of short. I have to admit though; I've always had a crush on Ed. Are you single? If you are, would you like to go out sometime? Enclosed is my picture. The girl with black hair and green eyes is my sister, Dragana. She's interested in Al if he is.
Love Lily and Dragana" Ha ha ha ha! You should see your faces! There redder then red!" Skaii busted out laughing. This was true, both boys (yes, even Al) were flushed beat-red. They looked at the picture.
" Uh… thanks. But I don't know if it'll work out." Al tried to find the right words but failed horribly.
"… Take that Mustang! Ha, and he said a shrimp couldn't be loved!" Ed said victoriously! Skaii snapped her fingers and Ed was wearing a shrimp costume.
" There, that's better." Skaii laughed at Ed's expression. Ed tore off the costume.
-Ed needs to find his pants and shirt-
" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Skaii was tearing now. When Ed had tore off his costume he only had his boxers on. So Skaii snapped her fingers and now Ed was wearing a bean costume instead. " Bet you won't do that again!"
" Shut the hell up." Ed grumbled as he sat down across from Skaii.
" Abort! Abort!" A computer like voice yelled over the intercom. The room went pink… yes pink!
Skaii: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bean!
Ed: Shut up!
Al: Why pink?
Skaii: I have no clue. Anyway, I love writing this! If you could tell there is a story behind this!
Al: Like, the smell of barf doesn't wash off armor easily.
Skaii: Sure. Why not?
Ed: This is so stupid…
Skaii: Keep coming with the reviews, okay?
Al: Please, I need to know if I ever get the smell off my foot!
Ed: … I hate you Skaii.
Skaii: I heart you too.
Al: This is going to take awhile…