Thank you, reviewers! I'm glad everything's going good so far. This is one of my favorite chapters and is in Shii-chan's POV. As usual, enjoy! Thank you, Peri Girl, for reviewing and I'm taking your advice! If I don't update immediately after chapter 4, it's because I'm rewriting chapters/editing.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.
Chapter Two: Undecided
The sound of numerous locker doors slamming was thunderous, surpassing the sound of an avalanche and practically in sync, as three high school boys journeyed down the corridor.
"So as I was saying..." Ayame snickered a dirty joke in Shigure's ear. The Dog immediately laughed, but then again, it didn't take much for his eyes to glow with amusement. Especially if the content was ridiculously lewd. Hatori shook his head, most likely regarding his wacky cousins as a nuisance. He was morbidly fearful for the future. They'd end up in prison someday, not for an extremely heinous offense, but for something silly, like being drunk in public.
"I got my Career Aptitude Test back, did you?" He knew the two goofballs did, yet wanted to steer the conversation into safer ground.
Shigure detected Hatori's method of diversion. But before he could dish out a rejoinder, Ayame leapt in.
"I did, I did!" he exclaimed, bright gold eyes gleaming with impish glee. "Guess what I should be according to this thing?"
"A clown?" Hatori guessed.
Ayame's head seemed to fall into his broad shoulders, a frown decking his lips. "Why, of course not, Ha'ri-san! What do you take me for, some kind of silly, not serious...person?" He pouted as if to persuade Hatori to say otherwise.
"Yes."
In fake tears, the Serpent rushed into Shigure's arms. "Oh, my darling Hatori-san has forsaken me! What shall I do?"
"Don't worry!" Shigure rested his head atop Ayame's silvery mass of long hair. "I see you as so much more than that! My darling love, don't despair any longer!"
As they flashed each other a thumb's up sign, their excluded companion shook his head.
"Well anyway," Ayame continued once he felt he got the proper amount of TLC, "I must become...a crack whore!"
"Be serious. What does it say?" Hatori snatched the piece of paper from his grip. "Actor. Interesting choice. You're dramatic enough." He handed it back to its rightful owner.
"Ha'ri, what does yours say?" Shigure inquired.
"A...," He looked away, "psychiatrist."
For some reason, Ayame and Shigure found this humorous and laughed loudly.
"What? Hanging around you two, is it any wonder? I'm surrounded by loons."
"Cute loons," Shigure said, clamoring to his cousin's side.
"Entertaining loons," Ayame agreed, dominating Hatori's unoccupied side. "Admit it, your life would be an academic bore without us!" He turned to Shigure. "And what did you get?"
The question pierced into his cloud of happiness for a split second, but didn't let it show. Sohmas endured every trial and tribulation they faced, whether it was a broken heart or otherwise. "I failed," he sang breezily.
Hatori looked at him with awe. "How the hell do you fail an aptitude test?"
"Don't curse!" he admonished, slapping a hand over Hatori's mouth as if he had said a gravely obscene word. "And I don't have your brains, Mr. Psychiatrist."
"Ooh, Mr. Psychiatrist! I think I'm crazy!" Ayame yelled, training both eyes on the bridge of his nose and sticking out his tongue.
"Yeah," Shigure agreed smilingly as Ayame drowned in the pool of his own laughter. "So am I."
"Wait! He has to diagnose us! Say it, Ha'ri! Tell us we're crazy!"
The brown-eyed boy laid down on the cold floor, his hands on his abdomen. Ayame took out a notebook, assuming a dignified, professional stance.
"Tell me about your childhood," he intoned in an imitation of Hatori's voice.
"Well...," he put on a worried frown, "it all started with a fear of clowns and crack whores..."
"You don't need me to. You two are already crazy. You've diagnosed yourselves," Hatori said as both boys collapsed into collective giggles.
Undecided.
The red marker on Shigure's test shone mockingly up at him.
It wasn't fair. All of his hard work (or not so hard work. He did put some kind of effort into it though), and this was the product.
He was secluded behind the bushes outside of his school. It was difficult escaping Ayame's company, but a fake show of sudden illness permitted him access to the restroom, then the school grounds. Right now, as much as he loved being with his charismatic cousin, he needed solitude.
Shigure shoved a cigarette between his lips and fished in his book bag for a lighter. He always smoked when he was particularly down... Or happy... Or feeling silly. Actually, he smoked for every occasion.
But a smoke wouldn't satisfy another need. As he lit his cigarette and inhaled, then exhaled plumes of slate grey smoke, he felt an uncharacteristic flash of worry tighten around him.
Why? That was his need. An answer to a question he himself didn't know the answer to. Why was he Undecided? Why didn't he do well on this exam when on so many others, he at least scraped by?
There was no valid reason in Shigure's mind for this vague, disappointing outcome. He always did exceedingly well in almost everything he tried. He was tremendously good at sports. He tended to goof off, but he had made it through the grade levels so far, hadn't he? So his studying skills were satisfactory, if not up to par with Hatori's. He was really gifted at being handsome; that required little to no effort. Plus, he had the added advantage of being charming, which got him nearly anything he wanted.
But even with all of those qualities that made Shigure glimmer like a diamond among dark chunks of coal, he could only think of one word to summarize those traits.
Not extraordinary. Not fascinating. Not even alluring.
Inadequate.
Useless.
Oh, that was two words. Shit, now I can't even count! he thought despairingly as he inhaled once again.
The lack of a satisfactory answer proved that he couldn't con his way out of this one. His future was a depressingly blank sheet of paper.
Undecided... Undecided... Come to think of it, Shigure was undecided. Hell, he had never considered any options to begin with. Life after high school wasn't consequential to Shigure. Whatever happened, happened. "Que sera, sera" was his response to everything.
This issue was the exception.
He could just throw the exam away, blind himself to the truth, and regard this as another "Que sera, sera". And yet...
He knew it was incredibly stupid of him to balance his emotions on the result of some inconsequential, dumbass test. Like Hatori would even become a psychiatrist. Like Ayame would one day be an actor.
Right?
This, however, wasn't just a paper decked with ink. It was a bad omen-- no, definite proclamation-- of what was to come.
An undecided man with an undecided fate...
Stomping out the still long cigarette, Shigure rose and came out of hiding.
"Shii-chan, what's wrong? You look upset."
Said person looked up into the speaker's eyes. Funny how serious a shade Kagura's eyes were. But when she was happy, her pretty eyes would transform into a resplendent, exquisite work of art. Not just her eyes, but her entire being radiated a special glow only she could conjure up.
Denying her eyes that glow not only saddened Shigure, it disturbed him. It was as punishable as theft. And only one thing, he sensed, would make her smile.
If he told her what was wrong.
"Nothing," he lied, looking away. He wanted to, but not at the risk of being selfish. Besides, it was stupid. Getting so emotional over a test. Copping a newfound bout of self-pity just because of a stupid piece of paper.
The young girl took his hand, compelling him to look her way. She focused her attention on his visage with determination. "There is. You were quiet today."
"I was thinking."
She smiled, amusement in her eyes. "You can think?"
"Oh, ha ha ha!" he laughed, pulling on her cheeks. Instead of the usual displeasure one might express if in the same position, she let out a delighted squeal which melted into a fit of giggles. Her sunshine-like mood poured light over his rainy day one.
"You jerk!" she cried. Kagura looked around his room in search of ammunition. Finding nothing that captured her fancy, she wadded up a piece of paper and threw it at him. He held up his hands in lieu of a shield, laughing.
The paper crackled on the carpet, then, like a flower, slowly unfolded. The bright red of the paper attracted Kagura, and so she ran towards it.
"Um. Kagu-chan, wait, I--"
Eyes augmented, she turned to her cousin, pigtails lightly pummeling the air. "What's this?"
Shigure strode towards her and picked up his exam. He gave it a prolonged stare. "...My Career Aptitude Test."
"Career Apti- what?"
He grinned while kneeling down and placing a hand on her small head. "Just a fancy phrase for a test in which you're asked questions to figure out what you should be when you grow up."
"That's cool! What're you gonna be?"
"Nothing." He launched the wad of paper into the wastebasket on the other side of the room. He traveled to his bed and reclined on his pillows, arms cradling his head as his gaze made a prolonged respite to the ceiling.
"Nothing?" She gave him a narrowed glare. "So you're just gonna be a freeloader?" Sighing, she said, "You have to be something."
"According to this test, I'm destined for Nothingsville."
She consulted the ceiling for assistance. "Maybe you're so good at so many things, the teacher couldn't settle on one fixed career!"
"The machine couldn't. A teacher wrote down "Undecided" because I didn't get a result. But thanks for trying, kid."
"Actually," she admitted bashfully, eyes falling to the ground, "I haven't decided on what I want to be yet either."
"You? But... You're too young to even be thinking about that!" I'm a failure in school, but I sure did succeed in making an impressionable young girl doubt herself. Maybe I could make a career out of it.
"Even so..." She reacquainted her gaze to his, "I don't care! I have time, right? I'm not growing up anytime soon. So I'm gonna be "Undecided" like you! Let's figure out what we want to be together, okay?" She extended a pinkie, eyes starry with hope.
The constellation before him was lovelier than anything the heavens could come up with.
Shigure beamed and linked his pinkie with hers. "Agreed."
It was odd how when one could relate with another, the problem seemed to lose its sting if not entirely dissipate. Kagura had a whole string of years ahead of her, of heartbreaks and smiles, friends and adventure. Shigure wasn't an old geezer, so he had a full life, but his high school years were dying. Her situation and his were completely different age-wise. As conceited as it might sound, he would be the one most likely to figure out his future first. However, her vow touched him, gave him a garden of solace. Was she worried? No. And he shouldn't worry either.
"SHII-CHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!" Ayame called, running to him with a paper in his raised hand. When he reached his destination, he placed his hands on his knees and curved his back in order to catch his breath. When his head resurfaced, a smile curled his lips as usual. "There was an error!"
"A-- What? Error? In what?"
"I-- In the Aptitude testy thingies! Turns out there was a glitch in the machine's system, don't ask me what. Ask Ha'ri-san, he probably knows. Anyway, all our results were screwy. And, turns out we weren't supposed to get only one career choice. Ha'ri was the first to notice, he's so smart and amazing!" he gasped affectionately.
Through this excited jumble of words, Shigure picked out the gist.
A glitch. The answers weren't right.
He wasn't "Undecided".
"So... I didn't fail?"
"No! We're gonna retake the exam a week from now!"
The lighthearted jubilance he expected to envelop him didn't. Shigure just stood there, motionless and speechless, for a split second.
"Yeah, well, I knew all along," he lied proudly. "I'm not that stupid."
"And I was getting so used to toying with the idea of becoming an actor," he whined. "Oh well! It's just a test, right?"
"Right. But even if I get a million results, I'm gonna remain Undecided!" He held out a thumb's up sign while winking. "No silly piece of paper dictates my life!"
"No. I do! I own your ass!" The long-haired boy rushed at Shigure.
Hatori stood as far away from the two as possible, sweatdropping. "Those two need a psychiatrist. Hope they get the help they need someday..."
At first, the word "undecided" rang terribly in the recesses of Shigure's mind. But now, with the help of a certain girl, he had to admit one thing.
It had a nice ring to it!
After all, a carefree guy like Shigure couldn't be bogged down with such heavy thinking.
Que sera, sera...