Fullmetal Alchemist
Dear (place name here)
Chapter 8
By Sakura Sagura
Disclaimer…
Skaii: Anyone seen Ed?
Al & Roy & Armstrong: Nope... Why?
Skaii: I can't find him! He's supposed to be rehearsing-
Al: Did you hear that?
-From down the hall-
Ed: 1, 2, and 3. 1, 2, and 3 and again…
Roy: Blackmail…Wha ha ha ha!
Skaii: Shh! QUIET!
Ed: AH! GET OUT MORTALS WHO DON'T OWN ME!
Skaii: Yeah you guys! I am the only one who should be helping Eddy!
Roy & Al: ' Eddy'?
Skaii: Edo better?
Al: No… Say why aren't you helping us anymore?
Hughes: WANT TO SEE SOME PICTURES OFF MY LITTLE ANGEL?
All: -Stare, point, scream, and then run-
Hughes: Awe… they must be going to get her some presents!
Ed brushed his coat off in an irritated way and then glared at Mr. Welings, who was sitting on the floor and picking his nose.
" Ew…" Ed turned away and rubbed his left shoulder. It still hurt from Teyya kicking him earlier. "Say Mr. Welings." The old man quickly wiped a piece of snot under a nearby seat and gave Ed an 'I didn't do it' glance. "Are you ready to go help get Skaii?"
" Nope."
" Why not?"
" Cause."
" Cause why?"
" I don't want to."
" Why not?"
" Cause."
"… Let's try this again. Tell me why you don't want to and it has to be a real reason!"
" Well, to tell you the truth, it's because I think you're ugly." The old man said quite frankly. Ed gaped at him.
What did he just say? Ed's head received a large anger mark. Mr. Welings continued to pick his nose. " … What did you call me?"
" You know it's really depressing. I mean you're a midget that's deaf, stupid, and ugly." Mr. Welings frowned and stood up. He took a look over the enraged midget and scurried for his life to the door down the aisle.
" GET BACK HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!" Ed shouted and ran for the old man. Suddenly he fell to the floor and landed in an old mushy banana. Mr. Welings skipped back over to Ed.
" Tsk tsk. Our great military pup dies over a banana split! How tragic…" The old man said in phony sadness, while trying not to laugh. He took out the spoon he'd used earlier and waved it up and down. A large vanilla scoop of ice cream fell onto Ed's head.
" ARGH! GETOFFGETOFF!" Ed stood up and fiercely brushed the 'frozen cow urine', as Ed would call it, off his head. " WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Ed lunged at Mr. Welings, who just smiled and Ed fell to the ceiling with a block of cheese in his mouth.
" Keep opening those doors Major!" Al called over his metal shoulder. Armstrong nodded as he opened a straw door and flexed his muscles needlessly. Al went back to his turn. He picked up a card and looked over the others he was holding onto.
" Do ya turn!" Alf snapped at Al.
" Oh, I'll take a four if you have one." Al said quickly. Darrie handed Al two fours and threw the one remaining card on top of the used deck.
" Ano ano." Darrie sighed in a defeated manner and fumbled with the brim of his cap.
" Lost ready, aye?" Alf asked Darrie and smiled as she laid three cards in front of Al. " Gimme your fours for these fives." They exchanged cards and then drew several more from the deck. Darrie leaned over behind Alf to get a look at her cards. She had three 4s, one 8,two 9s, and one 7. Alf gave Darrie a 'mind you own beeswax' look. He quickly looked away and watched the major rip out a yellow door with lacy pink trim.
" Al, hand me 'ur 7s." Alf bossily ordered, Al handed her a seven, she took it and placed the sevens on the used deck.
" Have any nines?"
" Nope."
" Then what about eights?"
" Nope." Alf sneezed and the cards changed. Darrie, wide eyed, stood up and started to yell at Alf… though all that came out was 'ANO ANO ANO ANO ANO!'
" Alphonse, take a look!" Armstrong proclaimed making both Alf and Al look his way.
" You get to the other side?" Al asked hopefully nearly squashing Alf and Darrie as he ran to look. Al stopped dead in his tracks. There was a note on the door. Al ripped it off and stuffed it in the pocket on his leg.
" Shall I continue to rip out doors?" Armstrong asked Al. Alf stood up and hoped her way over to the depressed Al. She tugged his loincloth eagerly. When Al didn't notice this she kicked him in the leg.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" Alf fell to the floor grabbing her leg. Darrie shook his head at her in annoyance. Darrie walked over to the door pile. Alf, who was getting a piggyback from an apologetic Al, watched in fascination as Darrie took a doorknob, turned, pulled, and jumped in with the door closing behind him.
" EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Armstrong shrieked flexing his muscles as he did so.
" An he told me was break'n de rules! Look at tat!" Alf huffed in aggravation. Al darted to the door- now lying on the floor- and wrenched it opened. Nothing but the floor under it was seen through it. Suddenly there was a knock from the wall where the endless doors were. Armstrong wrenched the door open.
" Ano." Darrie grinned as he wiped some spaghetti of his cap.
" Why is this happening to me?" Roy asked the ladybug he had found on his train travels. He was sitting on a golden chair. The ladybug sat there. " I mean, why am I here? That one girl isn't here to let me get back to my humanity! So what can we do?" Roy asked the ladybug. The ladybug sat there. " You have any ideas?" Roy questioned hopefully. The ladybug sat there. " Of course you don't! You're just a stu-"
" HIYA!" The ladybug grabbed Roy's wrist and proceeded to beat the Mustang out of him.
"Uncle! Uncle!" Roy bawled when the ladybug had him in an arm lock. The ladybug sat there. Roy tired to get up to his feet but the ladybug felt as though it was 300 pounds.
" Now lets talk business." The ladybug sat in a high-pitched voice.
" AAAAAAAAAAAAH! THAT'S TO WEIRD!" Roy screamed and wiggled.
" Got another girlfriend already?" Hughes asked as he walked through the door and wiped sweat from his face. Roy looked up at Hughes and glared.
" No." Roy retorted as he tried again to wiggle his way free.
"You do know you're tied up, right?" Hughes said and pointed to the ropes that had Roy's arms tied to his side.
" You do know you're dead, right?" Roy asked hesitantly. Hughes looked surprised. The ladybug sat there.
"Oh yeah… forgot about that." Hughes said smiling and scratching his head. The ladybug rolled its eyes.
" You aren't dead." The ladybug laughed haughtily.
" Am too."
" Are not."
" Am to."
" Prove it."
" Fine." Hughes took out a picture and shoved it in the ladybug's face. The ladybug sat there, and sat there, and sat there, and sat there. " See?"
" This doesn't prove you're dead." The ladybug said firmly.
" I know I just had to show you my little angel!" Hughes giggled and kissed the picture of his daughter Elicia. Then Hughes took a gun from his pocket and placed it a few inches from his head.
" Do it do it do it!" The ladybug cheered. Roy closed his eyes. There was a small click and Roy felt something suddenly hit his back lightly.
" There we go." Hughes smirked at the startled Roy.
" What did you just do?" Roy questioned. Hughes picked a plastic suction cup bullet, with a ladybug, knocked out, sticking to it, off of Roy's back.
" Tada! … Oh no, that look. You two weren't dating were you?" Hughes started to say more but Roy cut him off,
" HUGHES! Will you stop with that!"
" You're right."
" Always am."
" Uh huh… So why am I always rescuing you?"
" I could have handled it."
" You just got your butt handed to you by a ladybug." Hughes chuckled at the irritated colonel.
" It… I planned it to look like that…" Roy said starting to redden from embarrassment.
" So that's how you planned to break up with her? Kind of harsh." Hughes said as he dumped the ladybug in a trashcan. " You like my toy gun?"
" No, and will you stop with the-"
" Why do you always get the ugly ones you ask? Well I can tell you-"
" Hughes listen to me! I have to-"
" –Exactly why! You have that dorky haircut of yours that-"
" –Tell you… You think my haircut is dorky?"
" Sure do! It should be more like mine. I am the one with a wife after all."
" … Can you untie me so I can burn you to a crisp?"
" Absolutely dork."
" Get back here so I can transmute you into a fish!" Ed yelled as he chased -across the ceiling- Mr. Welings. The old man jumped around the ceiling singing a song about shrimp and dairy products.
"Can't get shrimp to like my icy ice cream, mostly the blonde ones! They're so short, so tiny, so mini, so- so- UGLY! Can't get shrimp to eat my cheese, mostly the short ones! They're so dumb, and gassy you'll hope they'll pass ye before the day is done- done- DUMB!" Mr. Welings jumped to the floor as Ed flung his fist at him.
" Argh, get over here now!" Ed tried to jump down to the floor but only ended up slipping in butter.
" Brother is that you?" Al asked from below. Ed looked down with a butterful face.
He had chased Mr. Welings through three cars. Now he was in one that had a stage, two rows of chairs, and spotlights. The room looked more like a small gym then a train car.
" Al, where have you been?" Ed called still lying in butter. Al shrugged.
" Long story."
" Same here."
" Herm? Edward Elric long time no see." Armstrong proclaimed while flexing on the stage.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?" Ed screamed. Mr. Welings snapped his fingers and Ed fell to the floor.
" Close your squeak gap." Mr. Welings told Ed in a grumpy voice.
Oh, if he wasn't an old, dried out, man…Ed stood up shakily. When he was on his feet he took out some letters. Al did the same.
" HUGHES!" Roy roared as he ran onto the stage from the door back stage. He stopped and watched Hughes climb up the curtain.
" Look at me I'm a monkey!" Hughes laughed childishly. Armstrong gaped at Hughes, blinked several times, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Hughes waved at Ed and Al. They casually waved back. Armstrong burst into tears as he ran onto the stage and ripped the curtain down. Next thing Hughes knew he was in a bear hug.
Looks like I don't need to burn him to a crisp after all. Roy, with those little blue lines on his face, smiled. Ed and Al were soon up on the stage trying to pry Hughes from Armstrong.
" Looks like they're having fun." Teyya sighed. " We're going to have to change that, won't we?" The ladybug sat there. " I think I'll go see them. You want to come?" Teyya asked. The ladybug sat there. " Well?" Teyya pinched the ladybug between two fingers and looked it in the eyes. The ladybug burst into tears.
" NO! I lost my Roy toy! WHAAA!"
" Okay… want to get him back?"
" Yeah, no one dumps Betty!" The ladybug laughed evilly. Teyya glanced at her wristwatch.
" We have to hurry then. So I'm sorry but your malevolence laughing needs to stop."
" Do you really think we had to knock him out?" Al asked Roy and Ed.
" YES." The two alchemists responded. Al sighed.
" Well, we do have some free time. Do you want to read any letters?" Al asked hopefully.
" No." Ed snapped back, Roy shrugged and got out his letters. Ed reluctantly gave Al his letters too. Roy did the same, not quite sure where this was going.
Dear Edo,
Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Cause if you do, your celebrating the day that the Native Americans helped the pilgrims survive the long harsh winter, and then the pilgrims took their land and killed them. Aren't Americans nice? Hey! Uh, also: What is the name of your country? Or do you not know? One, two, that's three questions! One last question: For Nina Tucker. Like, you were mixed with a male dog, and you were female, so what are you.
Ellen Tee
Ed and Al glanced at each other.
" Well? Aren't you two going to answer?" Roy asked trying to hide his sympathy. Ed looked a little shaken but answered anyway.
" No idea what 'Thanksgiving' is… … ... For the 'do I think Americans are nice' question, from what I heard you say, no." Ed reread the letter somberly. " My country is called Edland."
" HAHAHAHAHA! You're to short to even sit on a throne!" Roy laughed. " How do you expect to rule a country when no one can see you?" Al had to hold Ed back from beating Roy to a pulp. " Our country is called Amestris. And soon I will be the King of it! And when I am I will fire all male solders, then all female workers will have to wear-" Roy kicked Ed over and used him as a foot stool. " TINY MINISKIRTS!" Al fell over from the stupidity and started laughing.
" Not if I become King first!" Ed roared as he pushed Roy off, stood up, and fiercely glared at Roy with a 'bring it on' smirk.
" That impossible Fullmetal."
" Why?"
" Because you'll be fired from the military long before you even get close."
" Yeah right slave."
" Oh ho? 'Slave', I don't think so!" Roy snapped at Ed. Nothing happened. Roy snapped softly and the room went dark.
" Great job colonel stupidity, now its dark!" Ed grumbled nastily.
" Why? Are you scared of the dark?" Roy said arrogantly. Ed jumped at the place he thought Roy was at but just ended up falling off the stage and on top of someone. The lights came back on.
" Ow… sorry I-" Ed stopped once he was off the person and sitting on his butt. He gaped at the little girl with long brown hair, which was back in two braids, her eyes were big and blue, and she was wearing a green and yellow flowered sundress. It was Nina. Her dog Alexander was trotting up the steps and onto the stage and sat on Al's lap. " …N- Nina? Nina is that you?"
" Oh, little big brother!" Nina chirped and gave an overly traumatized Ed a big hug. Meanwhile Alexander was licking an also overly traumatized Al. Roy and Hughes were gawking at what was happening. " We missed you so, so, so much!" Nina chatted in her childish voice. Ed didn't know what he should do. Nina let go of Ed and picked up the letter and read the last part.
" Nina? Alexander? Where did you come from?" Al asked as he, while holding Alexander, jumped to the floor next to Ed. The dog promptly hopped on Ed and began licking his face.
" Guess what. I learned how to read!" Nina giggled and continued to read. " I'm a girl silly Ellen! And Alexander is a boy." Ed finally got the huge dog off of himself and took a long look at Nina. She had died. Ed had been there. He saw what had happened. So why was she here now?
Maybe… Maybe in this world people can be brought back to life! Ed turned to Al with a massive grin on his face. Could Al be brought back to normal too? Ed turned back to Nina and Alexander. They were sure alive. By this time Hughes was down on the floor next to Ed.
" This is the girl that was killed by Scar, right?" Hughes asked seriously. Ed was grinning from ear to ear as he nodded.
" Big little brother!" Nina ran over to Al and hugged him. " Have you been eating good?"
" Y-yes. Have you?" Al asked the child timidly. Nina smiled.
" Yup! We have yummy meals every day!" Nina clasped her hands and began to tell Al all the new foods she had eaten. She was talking passionately about a kind of steak Al had never heard of before when she began looking transparent. The same thing was happening to Alexander.
" Nina what's going on?" Al asked dumbly. Nina looked at her hands.
" Are you okay?" Ed asked franticly. Nina giggled.
" I have to go now. Sorry that we couldn't play together… will you come and see me and Alexander?" Nina said brightly to Ed and Al, who were freaking out and trying to hold onto the two. Nina never got an answer because she was gone the next moment. The lights went out.
Next chapter Ed will do the chicken dance. I promise. –Sobs- NINA!
Fullmetal Alchemist
Dear (place name here)
Chapter 9
By Sakura Sagura
I already did the disclaimer. The reason I'm doing this is because I felt so bad about Nina I had to continue… (Readers need to imagin more than read in this chapter)
Ed didn't know why he wasn't crying. He wanted to. Maybe it was because too many people were around… in other words, Mustang.
" Brother," It was Al's confusedly grave voice. " I'm sorry."
" It's all right Al." Ed responded dazedly. Roy walked around in the dark looking for an emergency power switch. He felt his way to the curtain and then to the wall. He patted over the wall only to feel something he really shouldn't have.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAA-" A hand clasped over Roy's mouth. His nose was practically threatening to fall off.
" Shh, darling, shh." It was that creature. " Oh, its so dark! I'm scared!" It whispered and snuggled against the sweating Roy. He couldn't breathe with his mouth and he really didn't want to use his nose.
" Me think dis is it…" Someone said opening the door, which was right next to the two.
" Elp ee" Roy tried to say 'help me' but it didn't come out right.
" Whose there?" The creature asked agitatedly. The person didn't respond.
" Ano? Ano?"
" Aye. Roy that ya?"
" Mm." Roy wheezed through the grotesque hands. It was Alf and Darrie.
" Ano ano!" Darrie asked confused.
" Yeah, why ya an her?" Alf asked while trying not to laugh.
" Roy Mustang?" Someone asked in a whispered voice. The person sounded familiar but the face and name eluded him.
" Everything okay over there?" Hughes called.
" Nope! Roy an her is a duo." Alf called back. Darrie could be heard unlatching something and then there was a loud snap.
"Thanks Darrie…" The person thanked Darrie and stood up. " Hey, Gretchen. Let go of him."
" Why? He and I are in love! You can never separate-"
-BoOoOoOoM-
The creature/Gretchen fell to the floor in a shivering heap. Roy could feel it sink into the floor.
" Oh, that's nasty." Hughes grumbled as he wiped his foot on the wall. " What's going on? Did you find the light?"
" Ano." Darrie grabbed the switch and pulled down. The lights came back on.
-Awkward silence-
Roy, Ed, and Al all stared at the figure. It was a 14-year-old girl with curly dark gray hair, which was back in a braid, light gray eyes, a light gray color for skin, she was wearing a black long sleeve shirt with a short white jacket over it, black gloves, white pants with black trim, and black boots with white soles. It was Skaii Shii.
" Skaii? Skaii is that you?" Al inquired and stepped forward to get a better look. She nodded; face showing no expression, and walked passed the two brothers to the front of the stage. Skaii stood there a moment before looking at the ceiling. No one was sure if they should interrupt or not. She nodded and waved her hand for Darrie. He came running with a microphone on its stand. Darrie place it in front of Skaii. She grimly tapped it twice. Alf ran and jumped on off the stage. She did a roll onto her feet and waited.
" Connect it." Skaii stated in a depressed voice. Alf nodded and ran to the wall and flipped a switch and then another and then she twisted a knob. The room went dark, except for two spotlights that were shining on Skaii, and then a faint song began to play.
"La la le la lele la!" Alf skipped over to a chair in front of the stage and plopped herself down. Darrie made a final check on the microphone. After he made sure it was working he took Skaii's hand gently and guided her to the second row of seats. The two sat themselves down.
" Brother?"
" What?"
" I think its time."
" For what?" Ed asked in a confused manner. He stared at Al with his famous 'What are you talking about' face. Roy, Hughes, and the newly awakened Armstrong beamed evilly at each other.
" TIME FOR THE 'CHICKEN DANCE' SHORTY!" All four of them screamed/laughed at Ed as they pushed him out into the spotlight. The lights moved towards Ed. Ed could hear small bursts of laughter from behind him. That when Ed realized he was in a chicken costume…
" AAAAH! WHAT THE-?" Ed shouted as he grabbed at his attire. Is she laughing? I bet she is! Ed thought angrily, I just know she's going to say something to really tick me off. Ed turned towards Skaii with a hateful look plastered over his reddening face. Skaii was just sitting there with no color, no shine to her eyes, no emotion whatsoever. Ed felt a lurch in his stomach. Is this why she wanted us to get off or…
That's when the music started!
If you have the chicken dance turn it on
(Though this might be to fast or slow for the fanfic)
P.s. this is more for imaging what they look like doing this.
Ed couldn't control himself. It was as though the chicken suit had a mind of it's own… which it did. His hands were lifted up just across from his ears. His four fingers went up and down on his thumbs four times, then his hands went under his armpits and he flapped his elbows.
" Looking good brother!" Al called from behind Ed loudly. Ed heard his little audience, except Skaii, all erupt with laughter. Alf and Darrie were clapping and laughing loudly.
Then Ed's fists, which were covered with fake wings, went away from his armpits, rocked back and forth with his butt out, and his legs bent. Ed stood up straight and clapped his hands four times. A disco ball came down from the ceiling and the room was filled with spots of multicolored light.
" Hughes do you have a camera?" Roy asked mischievously. Hughes grinned and handed himhis belovedcamera. Roy scooted out on the stage a good 8feet from Ed and took aim with the camera. " Black mail!"
" What are you doing?" Ed asked blushing and turning towards Roy, who was snapping away. Ed then realized he had the perfect opportunity to humiliate the colonel. Ed ran over and grabbed Roy by the arm, making him drop the camera in the process, and dragged him out onto the stage. He took a quick glance to see if Skaii was smiling. Nope, she was still numb. He had to try. Ed just had a feeling that if he could make her smile…
" Fullmetal! WHAT ARE YOU-" Roy yelled in Ed's ear. Ed let the costume do all the work. He arm hooked Roy and proceeded to dance around in circles with him.
I swear if they keep laughing like this I'm going to go deaf. Ed thought while he purposely stomped on Roy's foot. The colonel let out a small yelp and stomped on Ed's foot back. Ed was going to kick him where it counts but the music changed and his hands, and Roy's too, went back to ear length. And the two started the dance all over. The flapping elbows were next, all the while Roy and Ed exchanged hits, then the rocking and butt shaking and knee bending, and then clapping.
" Take this shrimp-o!" Roy snapped his gloved fingers at the chicken clothed alchemist. Instead of flames Ed was draped with salt and pepper.
" Ah- ah- AHCHOOOOO!" Ed sneezed straight at Roy, who fell over from the blow. Ed glanced at Skaii, with snot still hanging from his nose, to see if she was laughing or not. She isn't even smiling! Ed thought franticly. He didn't have to look around to know everyone else was laughing his or her butts off. Roy sat up and glanced at Hughes. He was snapping pictures of him!
" Hughes what are you doing?" Roy shouted over his shoulder. Hughes gave Roy the peace sign and continued snapping.
What do I have to do to make her smile? Ed thought as the music died down, there has to be something… Then Ed remembered what Skaii had said he'd have to do because of some bet he'd lost. No, I am not doing that! Ed could hear the conversation behind him.
" HAHAHHAHA! I can't believe brother and you did that!"
" Hrm, this will definitely promote you to higher ranks."
" HAHA! I'm putting these pictures with the ones of Elicia!"
" AH, listen to me! I, a colonel, am speaking to you! Now I command you to destroy those pictures of me. Though I don't mind you all keeping the ones with Fullmental in them."
" Don't forget, I am a Brigadier General now! That means you can't boss me around."
" Oh, Mr. Hughes you've been promoted?"
" Uh- well, yeah."
Ed realized that if he didn't get Skaii back to normal they would never go back home… though he could really care less if Colonel Sarcasm stayed. Alf and Darrie waited patiently with a black and white Skaii. She looked horrible, even for Skaii. Ed gulped hard and decided it was the only way. Ed took a deep breath and stridently said loud enough for everyone to hear,
"Skaii, I have something to tell you." Ed said blushing more and more with each passing moment. He could feel the awkward stares on him as he heard the noise suddenly stop. The disco ball was gone and everything was dark except for one spotlight on Ed and the one nowon Skaii. She looked up at him with her gray eyes. Her face was still cold and depressed. Ed took a big gulp and continued, " I just wanted to tell you," Ed stammered, " I had sometime to think about it and you are right." The room was eerily silent and Ed wanted someone to just start up a conversation so it would only be Skaii who could hear him.
" I, Edward Elric, am the puniest shrimp in the world!"
Finally, I'm done! Sorry that took so long. Hope you all enjoyed it. Now to start on chapter 10…
NEW POLL!
Should I have romance in this fanfic?
If so who and who? No pairings like EdRoy, EdAl, RoyAl, and so on!
Only Boy & Girl pairings
R&R