just some silly little fic that i wrote in the space of ten minutes! enjoy! this is dedicated to my strong, oh-so-manly father, who will not go within ten feet of a spider, but instead leave my mum and i to get rid of it.
"Omigod! There's a spider on your back!" Foreman yelled at Chase, who squealed like a schoolgirl and jumped out of his seat. He bounded into the middle of the room and started throwing his arms around and shaking his butt to try and get rid of the thing. The whole spectacle was like some warped version of 'The Twist'.
But it worked, and the spider fell to the floor. Its jet-black body was no bigger than Foreman's thumbnail, but both men cowered in the corner just the same.
"I think it's poisonous." Foreman whispered. "Go squish it" He gave Chase a shove towards the middle of the room where the spider was crawling around lazily. Chase scrambled back to his place in the corner, giving Foreman a hard push between the shoulder blades, flinging him forward. Foreman found himself on the ground, inches away from the arachnid, and jumped to his feet with a yelp.
"What the hell's the matter with you?" Chase hissed. "Just squish it!" Foreman shook his head, while backing towards a chair.
"Nuh-uh, I think those ones jump! He replied nervously.
"Don't be such a baby!" Chase exclaimed as he reached for the broom and held it in front of him, as some crude form of protection against the little black dot on the carpet.
At that moment House limped in, popping a couple of Vicodin.
"What's all the squawking about?" he asked, pocketing the pills and giving Foreman the look he reserved for especially stupid people.
Foreman looked down at his boss from the chair he was standing on, and pointed.
"The extremely dangerous jumping spider over there, that's what!" he squealed.
House jumped. "Spider!" He hobbled at lightening speed towards the counter, which he tried to scramble on top of. When that failed, he hid behind the window blinds.
"What are you two staring at? Kill it!" he demanded. When they didn't budge, he glared at them.
"Kill it, or I'll give you non-stop clinic duty for a month!" he yelled.
Foreman, fighting to keep his balance on the cushiony chair, raised his hands in a peacemaking gesture.
"Okay, here's what we do. In that cupboard over there, should be some insect spray. Chase, you will slowly move out and use the brush end of the broom as a defence, to ward off the sonofabitch. Then, I will run and open the cupboard door, while House, you will simultaneously reach inside and grab the spray. You think you can handle it?" He looked over at House, who nodded gravely.
"For the good of the country, bro." Foreman nodded in return, and turned to Chase.
"You ready?" Chase gulped, then nodded. House popped his head out once again, as they prepared for battle.
"Godspeed, gentleman." He whispered solemnly.
"Oh for Pete's sake!" Cameron huffed impatiently as she stalked into the room and promptly squished the spider, grumbling.
"Men…"
NO SPIDERS WERE HURT IN THE MAKING OF THIS FIC.
i, for one, hate squishing spiders, to it pained me to write those last few lines, lol. i have to pick them up in a cup, even the huge hairy huntsmans that we get up here. oh, yeah, im all against cruelty to spiders. but cockroaches, thats another story. KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL i say. anyways, i hope you liked this fic, please review, coz it was SO fun to write:)