Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. Wish I did.

Author Note:

(a) This is my first slash story.

(b) Thank you Andrea for encouraging me to keep going.

(c) Pairing - Dick/Roy. No graphic sex. If you don't like slash, pleased don't read. If you do, I'd love feedback.

THE ONE I DESIRE: Story 1

Left With Your Best Friend

Part 2

Flashback

"How long are you visiting?" Dick asked, handing Roy a beer as they headed into the Titan's Tower common room.

"A couple of days. I have some things going with the government, but of course, you already know that."

Dick smirked and sank down into one of the soft chairs across from Roy. "I admit to keeping an eye on you."

"Checking up on me?" Roy asked, sipping his beer.

"I care, Roy. Is that okay?" Dick muttered.

Roy sighed and swallowed. "Sorry."

For a long time, neither spoke, the empty Tower in complete silence. "So, where's everyone else?"

"Gar's giving a party. I volunteered to stay and keep an eye on things here."

"You're such a party animal, Robbie," Roy laughed. He took a gulp of his beer. "So, how are things between you and Barbara?"

"The same," Dick replied. "Just friends still."

Roy read the pain. "You need to move on."

"I am... sorta. Kory and I are seeing each other."

"It serious?"

Dick shrugged. "Kinda."

"You're still in love with Barbara."

Dick nodded briefly. "You don't stop loving someone just because they don't love you back, Roy. I wish it were that easy."

Roy Harper stared across at his best friend and swallowed. "Yeah, I know."

Dick's eyebrow rose. "Roy?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing, my ass. Since when have we had secrets?"

"You're forgetting my little episode with drugs," Roy pointed out, rising and heading for the kitchen. "You want another beer?"

"Yeah. And don't change the subject. You have someone special?"

Roy paused when he opened the fridge and closed his eyes. How the hell had this topic come up?

"Speedy, come on. Talk to uncle Robin," Dick chuckled, taking the beer as his friend reappeared.

"What do you want me to say, Robbie? There isn't anyone."

"That's not what your body language is saying. Who is she?"

"None of you damn business."

"But you love her?"

Roy looked away and nodded. "Yeah." Yeah, he loved him.

"And she doesn't love you?" Dick asked, his voice becoming gentler. "I know what that's like."

"Barbara told you she just wanted to be friends?" Roy asked, trying to switch the focus to Dick.

Dick shook his head sadly. "No, she laughed in my face and told me that I was a kid. You're cute and you've got good legs, but I'm looking for a man, junior."

Roy sipped his beer. "That was cruel."

"She just... yeah, I guess it was. So, getting back you, bowhead. She thinks you're too young?"

"No," Roy replied carefully. "Just doesn't feel the same way."

"And she told you that?" Dick asked, fishing for more information.

"I've never known you to be this nosey before."

Dick smiled. "Hey, my love life's a mess. I was hoping to get some pointers from a latter day Casanova."

Roy snorted loudly. "Me? Hell, Robbie. You've got it all wrong... doesn't even know I'm alive."

"You've never told her?"

Roy dropped his eyes and stared into his beer. "I can't. We're friends and if I say something it might..."

"You have to take a chance."

Roy lifted his gaze and stared at the man he loved. Dick's soft blue eyes were resting on him, his face reflecting so much love. Not the sort of love Roy wanted from him, but love all the same. "I can't, Dick. I had to leave because of my feelings and now..."

"Leave?" Dick's eyes widened. Roy's did likewise. He hadn't meant for that to slip. Dick was a detective, a damn good one at that. "Dick, don't look too much into that statement."

"You're in love with Donna? You have to tell her, Roy. Donna... I mean, it's not for me to say, but... she has feelings for you too."

Roy swallowed, relieved Dick had jumped to the wrong conclusion. "Dick..."

"You've got to tell her, Harper. You've got to take a chance or you'll never know. She may feel the same way but doesn't have the courage to say. Tell her."

Roy's heart was pounding in his chest. "Dick, I can't..."

"Take a chance, Roy," Dick whispered. "All you have to do is say, Donna..."

"I love you," Roy whispered.

Dick nodded. "Exactly and..." Grayson's voice faded as he noted the intense way Roy was looking at him. The other teenager's eyes had welled with tears. Dick's mouth opened and then he shut it, his eyes widening. "What?"

The tears spilled down onto Roy's cheeks. "I love you."

Dick breathed out in a rush. "I don't... oh." He paled ever so slightly.

Roy pointed and burst out laughing. "Got you, Robbie. I got you good, man. You want another beer?" Roy asked leaping to his feet and starting for the kitchen.

"Roy." The tone was firm, yet gentle at the same time. Harper froze, but didn't turn around. "You left because... I didn't know."

Roy turned back to his friend. "I know. Some detective you are." He waited for Dick to say all the things he didn't want to hear... that he was sorry... that he understood... that they should probably not see each other any more.

"Yeah, I'll have another beer," Dick whispered. Roy stared at him for a few seconds and then went to collect two more cans. When he returned, Dick was sitting forward, elbows on knees, staring at the floor.

Roy froze. What if Dick was homophobic? Maybe he was disgusted? Maybe...

"How long, Speedy?" Grayson asked, reaching for the beer.

"Every since I met you."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Like what? Oh and by the way, I have wet dreams about you, Robin."

Dick's face screwed up with mock disgust. "You could have put it more subtly than that."

"How can you call a wet dream subtle?" Roy demanded smiling. It was ridiculous, but even through this, their friendship was there. Roy sat down next to Dick and flopped back. "It was a crush at first."

"Those damn short pants I used to wear have a lot to answer for," Dick chuckled, leaning back himself.

"God, dammit, Robbie. Don't say things like that. I'm getting an image."

Dick elbowed his friend and then turned to him. Their smiles faded. "I'm glad you told me."

"Why?"

"Because now you don't have to stay away."

Roy sat forward. "It isn't that easy, Dick. I wish it were. You don't love me and..."

"Crap."

"What?" Roy asked, looking back.

"I do love you, just not romantically. Do you think I'd clean up vomit for someone I didn't love?"

Roy was taken back.

Dick leaned forward. "Look, I know you don't want to hear this, and if anyone had said it to me, I would have punched them in the face, but I do understand what it's like to love some so much that it hurts and know that they don't love you in that way. I've lived it with Barbara since I was fifteen. She doesn't want me, but she's still an important part of my life and if I shut her out because she doesn't want to share my romantic ideals then the only person I'm hurting is me. I love her, Roy. But love has many facets. I will never have her the way I want to in my heart. I may even find someone else, but I'll always love her and want her to be a part of my life."

"When did you start giving speeches?" Roy asked, his voice cracking with emotion.

Dick smiled gently. "The ball's in your court, Speedy. You're my best friend. I don't want to lose you because your love for me has an added dimension."

"Added dimension. That's one way of putting it."

"It's the only way of putting it."

"You've thought a lot about this?"

"Oh, yeah." Again they stared at each other. "You gonna be okay with this?"

Roy sighed and slowly nodded. "I... I guess so. You haven't reacted the way I thought you would... not that I came here intending to tell you that that cute ass of yours drives me crazy."

Dick smiled. "You leave my cute ass out of this. I have to do a patrol. You want to come?"

"Yeah, that would be great... and Dick, I... thanks. For understanding."

"Wow," Tim murmured. "As simple as that?"

"As simple as that. It was all surreal at the time. He just... made it so easy. Like I'd just told him that we were having fish and chips for dinner rather than I wanted him for dinner."

Tim was slowly shaking his head. "And...?"

"And that's it. I make quips and he teases me about it, but its never hurtful. Since that day, I've been comfortable with the fact that I'm in love with him. He's been amazing about it. He accepts it. Does his best to support me. I see other people, so does he. Doesn't change the way I feel about him."

"You really have got to write the book. This is right up there with Romeo and Juliet," Tim stated, shaking is head.

Roy laughed. "Didn't they commit suicide? Just one other thing, Robin. If you repeat anything I've said tonight, I'll kill you."

Tim smiled. "I understand. Roy, have you... I mean, do you think he'll ever...with you?"

Roy shook his head. "No, kid. This isn't a fairytale."

"That must be so hard on you."

"It's not as if I'm sitting around here living like a nun waiting for him, Tim. I enjoy the company of a lot of different women, some more special than others. It's just the way it is. Not perfect. Not exactly wholesome. That's life."

Dick began to move uncomfortably and moaned loudly. Roy reached for his brow. "Damn. He's still burning up."

"How about we throw him in the shower?" Tim suggested.

"Yeah. We're going to have to. Robbie, can you hear me?" Roy asked, shaking his friend.

"Mmm?" Dick asked, though his eyes didn't open.

"I'm going to have to put you in the shower to bring down your temperature."

"Any excuse to see my arse, Speedy," Dick murmured.

Roy smiled. "You got that right." Roy inclined his head to Robin and lowered his voice. "Go and get the water started. He doesn't know you're here and I think that it might be best if we keep it that way."

Tim considered the statement and then nodded before jogging off as instructed.

"Okay lover, up you come," Roy muttered, dragging Dick into a sitting position. "Are you going to be able to help me, or am I going to have to carry you? Dick?"

"Mmmm?" Grayson's head was down. He was only just barely conscious.

Roy sighed, and tipped the half dressed hero onto his shoulder. "You weigh a tonne for someone so trim." He carried his ill friend into the bathroom and with Tim's help edged into the shower before lowering Dick to his feet and balancing him against the wall. The cold water brought Dick's eyes open and instinctively he fought the hands holding him.

"Whooh, Robbie. It's me. I've finally got you in the shower almost naked."

Dick blinked through the water. "Fever getting worse?" he asked.

"Yeah. How are you feeling?"

"Hot... and don't make any smart-ass cracks about that," Dick panted.

"Me, make cracks at your expense? You've wounded me deeply, Robbie."

Dick started to reply but his legs began to buckle and he panicked. Roy grabbed him, pulling his body against him. "I've got you. Hell, you really are burning up." Roy wrapped his arm around Dick's back and guided his friend's sagging head to his shoulder. "I think we better call a doctor."

"No. This will be the worst of it. Just need to get the temperature down. Just a bit weak because of the poison."

"If this doesn't bring it down, I'm calling an ambulance." Dick lifted his head and glared at Arsenal. "Save it for someone you can scare Wingster. I hate to break this to you, but dripping wet and half naked you don't exactly cut a frightening figure. Five minutes and if your temperature hasn't gone done, it's hospital."

"I love it when you take charge," Dick chuckled, weakly as he slumped further against Roy.

"Man, Dick Grayson. What the hell are you trying to do to me?" Roy muttered, feeling Dick's body rubbing up against his own. He caught sight of Tim who was wearing a beaming smile. "Shut up."

"I didn't say a word."

OO

Five minutes later, Dick had been stripped, towel-dried by his two friends, dressed in a pair of trackpants and was back in bed. Roy lifted his hand from Dick's brow and nodded to Tim. "The shower did wonders for his temperature. Didn't help mine, though," he finished, winking at Robin.

"I envy you."

"Huh?" Roy asked, puzzled. The idea that anyone could envy him was a totally foreign concept. Roy knew he was one of the biggest screw-ups who ever lived... and yet, he had the friendship of someone like Dick. Dick had always stood by him. Maybe that was why Roy loved him so much.

"The way you two can tell each other everything and be comfortable with each other. I don't... well, I guess I do. Dick and I are close but, he's older and I wish I had someone my age who... Am I making any sense?"

"Yeah," Roy responded. "You're making perfect sense. The Grayson charm has claimed another victim."

"What?" Tim's face went scarlet.

"You have a crush on him."

Tim shook his head, his face twisting with horror. "I can't stand the thought of being with a male, Roy."

"And yet, you fantasise about being with him. You can relax, Tim. You're not gay, kid. It's pretty normal for teenagers to do that about men they admire. Go find yourself a nice girl and it will go away. He'll always be there as a brother, Tim. You admire him, don't take that as love. It's not."

Tim's young face relaxed. "Really?"

Roy nodded. "Really."

"Thanks. I better go. You've got things under control here. Oh, and Roy, your secret's safe with me. I won't say anything to anyone."

"Thanks Kid." Roy watched Tim leave and then turned back to his best friend. He stifled a yawn and then climbed into bed beside Dick, sitting up and leaning his back against the wall. "So, here we are, Robbie. I've got you in my bed and all to myself and you don't have the strength to fight me off." Roy lifted his eyes to the heavens. "You hate, me. That's what it is, isn't it?"

Dick lifted his hand and rubbed it across his eyes. "Roy?" he asked, disoriented. "Who are you talking to?"

"God."

"God?" Dick asked, forcing his eyes open. "I'm not dying."

Roy grinned. "No, I am."

Dick smirked and using Roy's own words muttered, "Down tiger." He started to sit up.

"Whoooh. Not yet. You're as weak as a kitten. Hell, even Lian could kick you butt right now. You lay there and get some sleep. I'm just going to sit here and keep an eye on your temperature. When I'm sure it isn't going to climb again, I'm going to get some sleep myself."

"I'm okay, Roy. You don't need to..." Whatever else he'd been going to say was lost in a couple of words of gibberish as he drifted off into an exhausted slumber.

Roy squeezed Dick's shoulder. "Rest, Robbie. I've got your back." Roy shut his eyes and titled his head back against the wall. "This is not the way our first time in the same bed was supposed to be."

OO

Dick put the phone down. "Taxis will be here in a few minutes."

"You sure you're all right? You're still very pale," Roy argued.

Dick collected the bag that Roy had shoved his uniform into and headed for the fridge. "Yeah. Just feeling a bit washed out," he offered, grabbing an apple. "So... umm, did I do or say anything I should apologise for?" he asked.

Roy shrugged. "You ran naked around my bedroom begging me to take you, but other than that..."

Dick smiled. "I don't remember that. Actually, I don't remember anything much at all."

"You mean our first night together made no impression on you at all," Roy stated, apparently mortified.

"I have a headache."

"I guess that's something."

Dick's smile softened.

Roy's heart melted.

"Thanks, Roy."

Harper nodded. "Listen, I should probably tell you that Robin came here looking for you last night and he overheard some of our conversation."

Dick frowned. "What conversation?"

"Well, you were expressing your undying love for me as I tried to fight you off."

Dick's eyes grew wide.

"Man, you're an easy mark, Robbie."

"Not funny."

"Sorry. He was here and for some reason I don't really understand, I told him about my feelings for you."

"Oh." Dick's frown deepened. "And he was...?"

"Cool with it."

"I'll speak to him. Sounds like my taxis."

"We're sixteen stories up and you can hear a taxis arrive?"

"It's a gift." Dick offered his hand. Roy took it and they came together for the briefest of hugs. "Thanks again, Speedy. I mean it. Last night I... It scared the shit of me."

Roy studied his handsome face. Losing control was Dick's worst nightmare... thanks to the Bat.

"Thanks."

"Any time. Don't worry about the clothes. I can get them back on Tuesday. You're coming to the party aren't you?"

"Yeah." Dick opened the door.

"Hey, what the hell was the name of the stuff Ivy gave you? I'd like to keep some around the house for the next time you tumble through my window in the middle of the night and throw yourself at me." The door closed and Roy could hear Dick chuckling as he raced for the stairs.

The smile left Roy's face as a cloud of sadness descended over him. He walked to the window and looked down. Grayson appeared below and opened the taxis door. Dick looked skyward and waved. Roy returned the wave with a contented smile.

He loved Dick. He loved everything about him. His eyes. His body. His stubborn nature. Even his tendency to think he was always right... of course, he usually was which was all the more infuriating. Given the chance, Roy actually wouldn't change anything about Dick... not even the fact that he was straight, for that was a part of Dick too. Some days the pain of knowing he would never get to show Dick the depth of the other part of his love caused him almost more pain than he could bare, but he was coping. More than coping.

Besides, Roy hadn't actually given up hope. Last night, drugged, confused and scared, Dick had come to him for protection. Grayson's faith and trust in him never ceased to surprise him. In that, Harper found solace and a certain type of peace. No matter what else, he believed that when passion and romance died in a relationship, only the very luckiest of lovers were left with their best friend. That was what he and Dick shared and Roy Harper cherished it.

Thank you for reading.

Series will continue in Story 2: "Purely Platonic"