Disclaimer: GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!
I
DON'T
OWN
TRIGUN!!!
*^_^*
Happy Hour at the Gunsmoke Saloon
Chapter Five: I'm Zazie the BEAST!
Zazie was getting bored. He's a kid in a saloon full of alcohol and drunk people. You'd think he'd be having the time of his life. But nooooo he was bored with it all. So he started playing pranks on people. ^_^
His first prank had been on Wolfwood. He had made a harmless piñata dangerous by filling it with 25 pounds of creamed spinach. His second prank was to call in all those fangirls. The fact that Caine sold Wolfwood's shirt and Knives had all his clothes ripped off was just an added bonus. He also managed to loosen the chandelier when Wolfwood was hiding in it. His last prank (so far, of course) was pushing the chair in Vash's way so he tripped and caused Knives to fly out the window. Oh, he's good, isn't he? ^_^
As for Legato making E.G spin around like a top of Death….well…..that had nothing to do with Zazie. In fact, that was just Legato being Legato. X_x
So there Zazie sat in the corner of the room, planning his next prank. He planned to prank Vash. Poor Vash is just an easy target. He was trying to decide between the old yogurt down the boxers trick, or the very new and inventive run up the stairs, slip at the top, fly down the hallway out the window and land in a barrel full of honey trick.
"Wait…what if I fill the barrel with yogurt instead….that way I combine the two pranks into one…." Zazie muttered to himself, writing in his notebook. He grinned triumphantly.
"IT'S GENIUS!!!" He yelled, jumping on top of the table laughing like a maniac. Everyone in the bar stared at him. He quickly sat back down and whistled innocently.
"Time to put the plan in action…" he said maliciously. He snuck upstairs and poured oil on the floor all the way to the window. Next, he ran back downstairs and filled a barrel full of yogurt. Then he made a trail of donuts leading to the stairs. At the very top of the stairs, he placed a chocolate covered, cream filled, sugar coated, caffeine filled donut! And we all know Vash……he couldn't resist that.
Vash was just walking by a chair innocently when he tripped.
"Ow! What kind of idiotic moron wou--" but he stopped short when he saw a donut in front of his face. In fact….there was a whole trail! So, he did what any donut loving outlaw would do…..He followed it! He ate donut after donut until he got to the stairs. At the very top he saw the most delicious, radiant, heavenly donut he had ever laid eyes on.
"DONUT!!!" Vash yelled, drooling uncontrollably. He ran up the stairs and tackled the donut, flying into a broom closet. He completely missed the trail of oil leading to the window and his…….erm…….yogurty fate!!......Legato, however, didn't.
Legato had been following Vash across the room. He was hoping he could snatch one of those donuts before Vash ate it. Unfortunately, he had been unsuccessful, owing to the fact that Vash ate like a human vacuum cleaner. Then he saw it at the top of the stairs: The most delicious looking donut in the world!! But Vash saw it too, and got to it first. Legato ran as fast as he could and instead of getting the donut, he slipped and went flying down the hall, shrieking like a little girl. He smashed through the window and hovered in midair for a few seconds. Looking down, he saw the barrel full of yogurt.
"Oh……Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!" He screamed as he fell right into the yogurty mess.
"Yogurt…in…the…boxers…..gyaaaah!!!" He jumped out of the barrel and ran around trying to get the yogurt out of his boxers. Of course, he wasn't watching where he was going, so he tripped and fell down a hill, rolling in dirt. When he stood up, he looked like a giant dirt creature of some sort. He ran towards the saloon, limping slightly. When he burst in through the doors, everyone was completely silent. Then Millie screamed.
"GIANT MUD MONSTER!!!" Everyone else began to panic. Legato looked around in confusion. He saw no mud monster. He looked back at Millie. She was pointing her stun gun straight at him! Legato looked at himself, then back at Millie.
"Wait! Don't pull the trig--" Too late! Millie pulled the trigger and sent Legato flying backwards into the wall. Knives grabbed a hose from behind the bar.
"Now let's see who you really are!" He yelled, spraying Legato with water.
"Legato?!" Knives, Millie, Meryl, and Wolfwood yelled. Kuro-neko jumped on top of Legato's head.
"That's right," Legato muttered. "And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you pesky kids….and that cat!"
"….Uh….Legato, what are you talking about?" E.G asked. Legato shrugged and got up. He walked away, whistling 'Total Slaughter' to himself. Zazie sat in the corner laughing hysterically. Everyone else fell over ANIME STYLE! ^_^
Vash walked down stairs and saw everyone on the floor and Zazie laughing in the corner.
"Uh….what'd I miss?...."
Hehe…what'd you think?....I thought I'd add a little bit of Scooby Doo in there. I'm listening to a Simple Plan CD my sister burned, and it has the song 'What's New, Scooby Doo?' on it…..heh.
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I'd love to hear your comments. ^_^
Pyro