Chapter Ten: The Ninjas From Hell

When we last left our heroes and villains and crazy fangirls and two boys who are not fanboys of anyone…erm. Yes. When we last left this strange collection of people (and plants!), a battle was about to begin. A battle ABOVE ALL OTHERS! The most battle-y battle of this known world! Well. At least of Gunsmoke. EVEN BIGGER THAN THE BATTLE BETWEEN VASH AND KNIVES THEMSELVES. Yes, never mess with a fangirl and her bishounen. NEVER! It may just be the last thing you do…

"I have taught you well young padawan. But now I must teach you the final…erm…thingy. And that is—

"HEY! You with the lightsaber! GET OUT OF HERE! This isn't a cross over fic! I can't have random people from Star Wars running amok in here!" Pyro yelled from the corner, brandishing a shoe at the slightly confused jedi-master.

"But…"

"NO!"

"I…I just wanted to…"

"NO!"

And with that the jedi-master walked off, slightly hurt and depressed. He sniffled to himself as he wandered off into the desert…NEVER TO BE HEARD FROM AGAIN! And don't you dare say, "Aww." DON'T DO IT! If you do, hungry, cannibalistic bad-ass ninjas will drop from your ceiling and ATTACK you. Then eat your face. So. Yeah. Just a warning.

So. Continuing.

Hikari and Rachel both climbed into the ring, staring each other down, each daring the other to back down. Though neither one did, of course. It just wouldn't be fun. .

"All right, choose your weapons!" Pyro said, dragging a large cardboard box into the arena. Or…ring. Or….whatever. Pyro tore open the box and inside were…

…a bunch of Knives plushies!

Rachel and Hikari both stared at Pyro, who was happily oblivious to the entire situation.

"Um…Pyro?" Rachel asked.

"Yes?"

"…how can we…use plushies as weapons?..."

"Observe." Pyro said, picking up a plushie. She looked around the room intently. She glanced over at Legato, who was eating a hotdog, then E.G. who was petting a small kitten. Zazie caught her eye. She watched him sitting at the bar, still quite shaken up and squished from the last attack on him. She grinned. She snuck a bit closer, and THREW the beast of a plushie with all her might. Zazie looked up and screamed as it –

WARNING: Due to the violent nature of this segment, it has been DELETED because it was icky n' gross.

and it was dripping from the open gashes on his stomach.

"OH MY GOD! ZAZIE ARE YOU ALL RIGHT!" Rachel asked, stunned.

"It's just a flesh wound," he replied, picking up his arm from the floor nearby. Hikari grinned evilly, and Rachel too was forming plots of sure destruction with the use of these deliciously evil Knives' plushies.

"AND GO!" Pyro yelled from a random laundry basket hanging from the ceiling. Hikari picked up a crapload of plushies and threw them, grenade style at Rachel. Rachel skillfully dodge each one, EXCEPT THE LAST ONE, which struck her in mid-jump, sending her veering off course and into the wall. As the dust and debris settled, Hikari looked on in triumph. Her triumph was short-lived however, because SUDDENLY, Rachel flew down from the ceiling, launching plushies at her foe.

Hikari, who was now buried in plushies, screamed in agony.

"IT BURNS!" Rachel, now thinking she had won, grinned to herself, thinking of her Vash. When ALL OF A SUDDEN, Hikari back-flipped over Rachel and did a frontal aerial assault, ending in BLOODSHED! Well, actually, it just ended in Rachel being hit in the back of the head with a plushie, which was odd since it was a frontal assault….

Ten Minutes Later:

Nothing could be seen inside the ring/arena/enclosed space except a huge cloud of dust and debris, and the occasional flash of light. Noises, such as gunshots and powerful blasts, could also be heard….which was also strange because there were no guns or explody-type things.

Suddenly. The dust cleared and…

…there was no one there. Only two pairs of shoes were sitting on the floor, each where Hikari and Rachel has started the match.

"….o…kaaay…." Pyro said, staring at the ring/arena/enclosed space. "Well…apparently they killed each other…meaning we now have…no one to give Vash to…"

"YES!" Vash yelled from the cage, his head still stuck in between the bars.

"I'll take him!" Monev said, grinning really creepy-like. Vash's eyes widened, and a look of pure horror spread across his face. Pyro backed away from Monev slighty.

"…um…no…that's ok…"

"Aww." Monev looked at the ground, all sad like. SUDDENLY! A group of hungry, cannibalistic, bad-ass ninjas dropped from the ceiling and ATTACKED him. Then they ate his face.

Everyone stared. O.o

"…o…kaaaay…." Wolfwood said.

"Yeah…Those ninja guys moved in here a few days ago. They're paying me a lot to stay though. And they do the cleaning. Only one problem. Any time someone says the word 'aww,' they go crazy and attack the person. I forgot to warn you guys about that…Oh well!" Pyro said, grinning.

"But you just said it." Zazie pointed out.

"What? 'The'?"

"No. After that."

" 'Word' ?"

"After that."

" 'They'?"

"No! Before that!"

"Ohhhh you mean 'says'!"

"NO! AWW! YOU SAID AWW!" And suddenly, Zazie was attacked by a group of hungry, cannibalistic, bad-ass ninjas. The dropped from the ceiling and ATTACKED him. Then they ate his face.

Everyone stared. O.o

"Woah. Déjà vu." E.G. said, looking around.

"Well, he had a point," Wolfwood said. "How come you could say 'aw--"

The Ninjas looked at Wolfwood hungrily.

"--erm….that word. How come you can say…that word?"

"Oh, simple. I'm the author. I can do a lot of things. Like fly."

"Can you really!" Vash yelled excitedly from the corner.

"No."

"Aw-" Before he could finish the dreaded word, Meryl covered his mouth

The Ninjas looked disappointed.

Just then, Millie walked into the room, holding a little puppy. It was adorably cute and barked happily, wagging it's little puppy tale. Don't say it…

"Awwwwww! IT'S A PUPPY!" Dominique yelled. SUDDENLY the ninjas attacked her too. And ate her face.

"….seriously…we either have to stop saying…erm…that word…or just get rid of these ninja guys." Knives muttered. "They're destroying my team of insane gunmen. Without a word, Matt stood up silently, the alcohol from before still having taken no effect whatsoever on the creepy…erm…per…son…?

He walked over to where the ninjas stood.

Everyone stared. O.o

Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and a high pitched noise that sounded suspiciously like a cat screeching. When the light dimmed and the dust cleared ('cause there was dust, y'know), the ninjas had completely vanished.

Knives stared.

"YOU MUST JOIN THE GUNG HO GUNS!" Matt glanced at him.

"…nah."

"Oh, come on!"

"Nope."

"Please!"

"Hmm. Lemme think about it. No."

"I'll be your best friend!" Knives said, grinning. Legato looked hurt.

"….nope."

"Aw-" Legato kicked him. "Ow! Legato the ninjas are gone!"

"…oh yeah…"

All right. Chapter Ten. There you go. I have no clue how long it'll take for the next chapter to come out of my crazy mind. So. Yeah. Hope you enjoyed it.

Much love…well. Not really.

Pyro