Chapter Eleven: Evil Plot

Hmm…Haven't done a disclaimer in quite some time, eh?

Disclaimer: I own basically no characters in this story except myself, and even then, I'm not too sure. BUT! The ideas are mine, infidel!

It was evening at the Gunsmoke Saloon. The atmosphere was a calm and collected one. The mugs of beer glistened softly under the dim light of the saloon. Wolfwood and Vash sat in the corner, arm-wrestling, while Hikari and SaZ used Zazie as a piñata. And in the peaceful surroundings, all was quiet.

…or so it seemed.

Little did anyone know things were not what they seemed in the peacefully insane little saloon…

Deep in the dark, DARK depths of…well…the corner of the room, a mastermind was at work.

"Legato. I'm tired of these fan girl creatures running about. They're worse than the average spider. They're like…government-bred super spiders." Knives muttered darkly, more to himself than his evil henchman. Suddenly an idea hit him.

"Wait. What if these abnormally scary spiders are here to unravel and destroy my plots of sure destruction?"

"It's quite possible, master."

"I refuse to let a sick, sad bunch of humans ruin my plans for domination of this pathetic excuse for a planet!"

And so their planning began.

MEANWHILE!

"Hey Pyro," said E.G. "Did you ever figure out where those two girls that were fighting over Vash ended up?"

"The who with the what where now?"

-.-;

"Nevermind," he muttered.

Suddenly, the floor began to shake and rattle. Everyone looked around alarmed…and stuff.

"What the hell is that?" Wolfwood asked, looking around.

SUDDENLY! A huge blast of smoke exploded in the middle of the saloon. Knives and Legato walked out, coughing and hacking.

"I said ONE smoke bomb, Legato. Just one!" Knives yelled.

"I…I couldn't help it…I like exploding things…"

"KNIVES!" Vash yelled.

"…what?" Knives asked innocently.

"…do you have a cookie?" Vash asked hopefully. "I'm kinda hungry."

"Uh…suuuure…they're in the corner of the room…" Knives said, grinning maliciously, sadistically, and just plain EVILLY. You know. One of those grins. Like, if you see it, everything in your head tells you to run like HELL. So of course, Vash ran off to the corner of the room grinning happily.

Everyone shook their heads. Damn it Vash.

"I think what he meant to say," said Meryl angrily. "Is: What are you up to?"

"Who says I'm up to something?" Knives asked innocently.

"Whenever anything bad happens, it's always your fault!" Meryl argued.

"It's not ALWAYS my fault! Blame the stupid author for that. Besides...I'm not doing anything." Knives said, innocent still.

"But, Master," Legato said. "I thought you wanted to use yours and Vash's angel arms to destr-" Knives quickly tackled Legato to the ground and bashed him in the skull with a stick until he was knocked out.

Everyone stared at him. O.o

"Er…he had a…spider…on his…uh…face..?" Everyone backed away slowly.

"I knew it! You're up to something! That's why you-" Wolfwood was also tackled to the ground and felt the wrath of the BRANCH OF DOOM!

"I suppose he had a spider on his face too?" Meryl asked.

"…yes. Yes he did."

"Whatever, Knives. I'm watching you," Meryl growled. And with that, everyone returned to their normal business of…drinking and all that jazz.

Knives sighed in relief.

"That was close. Too close…" He grabbed Legato and Wolfwood and dragged them off to the corner of the room…

"Millie, Knives is up to something…but what?"

Meryl sat at the bar with Millie, trying to figure out what was going on, and also trying to figure out if she should be concerned. After all, Knives was a bit lacking in his evil plotting lately...

FLASHBACK!

"FEAR!" Knives shouted from his dark corner of the room. Everyone jumped, looking around wildly. Knives then jumped on top of the bar, getting everyone's attention, and looking rather maniacal.

"I've just created a new weapon…a weapon that can rival the angel arm in strength, speed, and accuracy!" He shouted, grinning sadistically. Everyone looked alarmed.

"BEHOLD!" He yelled. He reached behind himself and pulled out…

…a fork. Or rather, a fork with a rubber band attached to the top.

Everyone stared at him in disbelief. O.o

"Um…Knives?" Meryl asked.

"WHAT, puny human! You are afraid, are you not? Come to ask for forgiveness? Mercy? Acceptance? HELP? YOU WON'T RECEIVE IT! WUAHAHAHA!" Knives shouted, now looking rather deranged.

"Uh no…it's just. Well. There's a…cat…sleeping on your…head…"

"…oh."

FLASHBACK DONE!

So, you can see why Meryl was rather…unafraid of him at the moment. Anywho.

"Millie. We need to figure out what's going on." Meryl said.

"You're right, Meryl. Besides, I can't find Mr.Wolfwood anywhere. Maybe Mr.Knives will know where he is." Millie said, smiling. Meryl shook her head, and together they walked off in search of Knives.

Deep in the dark corner of the room, Knives and Legato laughed to each other while Vash ate cookies. Wolfwood was still passed out on the floor.

"Quickly, Legato. Restrain him," Knives said, referring to the priest. Legato handcuffed Wolfwood to the wall.

"Now down to business," Knives said. "We need to figure out how to get Vash's gun from him. Or get him to join us in our evil crusade of ridding the bar of these fan girl creatures." Legato nodded.

They both thought.

And thought.

And thought.

And thought some more.

Finally…

"I've got it, Master Knives!" Legato yelled. Knives woke with a start.

"Got what?" he asked sleepily.

"Um…how to get…Vash's…gun from him…"

"Oh…..OH! Oh yes!" Knives yelled with realization. REALIZATION!

"Um. Just ask him for it."

"Legato…" Knives said. "That's…that's…THAT'S the stupidest idea I have EVER had the DISPLEASURE of hearing!" Knives glared at his henchman. Legato hung his head in shame.

"WAIT, Legato!" Knives yelled. I've got an idea!"

"Yes?"

"Why don't we just ASK him for his gun?"

"But I…I just…sai-"

"No need to praise me now, Legato."

"But, master, you're b-"

"Yes yes, I know I am brilliant!"

"Master, I was the one who said we shou-"

"Should have a party? Yes, we will. Later. To celebrate our triumph of triumphs!" Knives yelled. Legato just shook his head and gave up.

Knives walked over to his brother, who was still devouring cookies.

"Hey, Vash?"

"Yeah?" Vash said through mouthfuls of cookies. They were chocolate chip cookies.

"Can I have your gun?" Knives asked innocently. He seems to be doing that a lot lately.

"What for?" Vash asked suspiciously.

"I…uh…I wanna show Wolfwood that our guns are the same. He doesn't believe me."

"Oh. Ok, sure. Yeah. Go ahead." And with that Vash devoured the apparently never-ending supply of cookies.

And Knives laughed evilly. OH SO EVIILY!

"LEGATO! Send the…invitations." Knives ordered. Legato quickly did as he was told.

"Oh…this is gonna be good." Knives muttered to himself. SUDDENLY, Meryl and Millie jumped into his corner.

"NOT SO FAST KNIVES!" Meryl yelled. Knives looked at her innocently (yet again!)

"Yes, dear Meryl?"

"I heard what you're up to. And it ends now!"

"I don't think so, Meryl." Knives snapped his fingers and Kuro-neko jumped on top of Meryl's head,attacking her.

"AHHHHH CAT!" Meryl ran around in the background trying to get her off.

"Mr. Knives?" Millie asked.

"Uh…what?" Knives asked...back.

"Have you seen Mr. Wolfwood?"

"Oh…yes…he's over there." Knives said, pointing to Wolfwood, who was trying to pull his hand out of the handcuff.

"Mr. Wolfwood!" Millie cried, and started to go over to him.

"Wait!" Knives yelled. "Uh. Could you do me a favor first?"

"Sure, Mr. Knives!" Millie said happily.

"Just sit in this chair, and close your eyes, and count to thirty." Knives said, drawing a chair. Millie looked confused.

"I guess so, Mr. Knives."

Thirty seconds later

Millie was now tied to a chair next to Wolfwood, who was still trying to remove himself from the handcuffs. Meryl was in a cage with Kuro-neko, who meowed happily. Meryl muttered to herself about stupid interfering cats.

And Knives snickered to himself.

"I'm such a diabolical genius," he stated.

"Pfft. More like a lucky bastard," Meryl muttered from the cage. Knives glowered and snapped his fingers again.

"AHHHHH CAT!"

What will happen to the fangirls? Will Vash ever realize his brother is still the diabolically evil mastermind he's always been? Will Meryl, Wolfy, and Millie escape this predicament? WILL LEGATO GET THE INVITATIONS OUT IN TIME?

….stay tuned...

I already started the next chapter. A chapter you'll never see unless you review. :D

YAY!