September 7th
Strange dreams about Death Eaters: 0 (good)
Times stopped Ron yelling at Harry: 3 (not bad)
Times yelled at Harry myself: 1 (not good)
10.30am – Finally have own watch, so can use it to write entries which have times in them. All good. Sadly have little to write.
11.05am – Event! Turned up at Arithmancy this morning to find tables had been moved around! Shock horror! OK, that's possibly not so interesting as other events, but never mind…
On the theme of noteworthy events, should probably mention small falling-out between self, Harry and Ron at breakfast. Am blaming the evil raspberry jam, with its tart taste and too many pippy bits in, since it was the passing of aforementioned jam that caused stern words to be said. All is made up and friendly now, but have resolved to treat the preserve with caution, as is probably an instrument of Voldemort himself, spreading dischord and shattering harmony wheresoever it goes.
Pleasingly, have not yet had any disturbing dreams of the Forces of Evil performing ballet. Hope that trend continues, otherwise may have to report self to hospital wing for counselling.
3.07pm – Harry still not quite himself after the 'raspberry jam' incident this morning. Must remember that is v. bad idea to be winding him up. Have tried offering him chocolate in condolence, but does not seem to have helped. Must think of something better to try.
3.20pm – Aha! Inspiration strikes. Have decided to give Harry subscription to Quidditch Monthly magazine, in hopes that will raise his spirits. Have sent off order form, am now waiting for first issue which should appear by return owl.
5.46pm – It arrived! Gave magazine to Harry, who was v. pleased with gift. Harry said he did not hold me personally responsible for any 'stern words' that were said, and that he was v. touched at own thoughtfulness. Found self going all glowy inside at such gratitude, and suggested to him the true cause of all the unpleasantness was the jam. Am not sure whether he was being completely honest when he agreed, or whether he was just trying to be nice. Hmm.
September 8th
Jars of evilness removed from Gryffindor table: 5 (v. good)
Times insulted Malfoy today: 24 (excellent)
Mistakes corrected in Ron's homework: 45 (not bad for Ron)
This morning at breakfast decided to be helpful to all Gryffindors by removing all jars of the conserve of evil and swapping them for nice, friendly strawberry jam instead. However, did not want to inflict the raspberry on Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw (especially not the cute, seventh year Ravenclaws) so occupied self throughout meal by crafty use of 'Wingardium Leviosa' to swap jars with the Slytherins. Feel that since both they and the jars are evil, they will get on well together. Snakes of a feather, ahem, scale, and all that.
Spent evening correcting Ron's charms essay. Am thoroughly appalled at friend's lack of grammatical correctness, magical accuracy and precise spelling. Note to self: do not let Ron see this diary.
September 9th
Times embarrassed self today: 2 (v. bad)
Sightings of cute Ravenclaw wizards: 0 (v. v. bad)
Times insulted Malfoy today: 2 (pathetic)
Have had thoroughly miserable day. Did not see any cute Ravenclaw wizards, in fact, did not see any cute wizards of any sort. Even Slytherin wizards would have done, just as reminder to self that attractive members of opposite sex do exist at Hogwarts. Sigh.
Aside from depressing lack of eye candy in corridors, have only seen Malfoy twice today, so have not been able to properly exercise own 'insult' muscles. Is very sad. Hope that will not grow thoroughly un-witty through lack of practice, so that only retain the humorous comeback vocabulary of small, inexperienced squirrel. Would practice on inanimate objects but am afraid of being caught by peers and thus breaking 'do not embarrass self' resolution.
On topic of self-embarrassment, feel that should really learn spell for keeping shoelaces tied. Is not at all poised, composed and in manner of mature refined woman to fall over own untied shoelaces twice in one day. Would not have been so bad, had second occasion not been in front of entire school when entering Great Hall for lunch.
September 10th
Times tripped over shoelaces today: 1 (could be worse)
Jars of raspberry jam on table at breakfast: 0 (v. v. good)
Insults for Malfoy: 29 (much better)
Have found solution to shoe-lace issue, after final embarrassment this morning in Herbology. Was entering greenhouse 3 when tripped over shoelace and fell into Harry and Ron, who were in front. Luckily they only found incident mildly amusing and few others noticed, but resolved to fix problem as soon as possible. Have now visited Professor Flitwick and have charm for temporary gluing, which shall henceforth be used on own shoes every morning.
Spoke to Dobby yesterday evening when was working late finished essay for Potions, and have persuaded him to remove all evil raspberry jam from Gryffindor table. Was v. pleased this morning to see promise upheld, as all jam was either blackcurrant, strawberry or, strangely, loganberry. Oh, and marmalade for Ginny, who has an affinity for orange jam. Maybe something to do with her own hair colour? Ouch, mean comment. Note to self: do not let Ginny read this diary either.