Life of a Completely F-ed Up Alchemist.
Chapter 1: Getting There
"Alphonse, I can understand transmuting our old house back. Even living in that hellhole," began an extremely pissed off Edward Elric, "But what I don't get is why you had to invite them." Fullmetal glared at his brother and the four other "people" with him.
"What's the matter Fullmetal Pip-squeak?" grinned the first of Ed's most hated, the palm-tree headed Homunculus known as Envy. "Aren't ya happy to see me?
"Who's a protozoa sized runt who exists on only the subatomic level you tropical headed freak?"
"Calm down Brother, They're family." Al sighed as the other three people sweatdropped. Envy and Ed were engaged in a fist fight, while another stepped forward.
"Boys, stop it." yelled Sloth, quite clearly annoyed, "your setting a bad example for Wrath." The afore mentioned boy however was enjoying himself, watching the fight with a bag of popcorn fused to his arm.
"Listen to your mother!" Hohenheim, the final cast member muttered, "She's already got a headache and- Wrath, is that popcorn? Yummeh! Popcorn R0x0r5 my 50x0r5!" at which point Hohenheim ripped Wrath's arm off, and started chowing down.
"Dad you son of a bitch!" The sin cried only to be hit with a golf club by Sloth.
"How many times do I have to tell you? Watch your fucking language!"
"But you just said-"
"Stay out of this Alphonse, or I'll make you rust again!"
Hohenheim stopped for a second, and looked forward at the approaching mob. "Honey," he began, "Where are we?"
"Liore why-" At which point Sloth saw the stampede of po'd villagers.
"Why are they so mad?" asked the freaked Hohenheim.
"Let see," replied Ed, pulling his arm blade out of Envy's leg, "These three geniuses destroyed the entire town, killed a few hundred people, and generally pissed 'em off to make a Philosophers Stone out of Al. Other than that, they love us."
"Yay, Victims!" Exclaimed Wrath as he plunged into the mob with a shotgun and a katana.
"¬¬" Said Ed.
"¬¬" Replied Hohenheim.
"¬¬" Agreed Envy.
Alphonse however, disagreed. "o-O" said he, "I had no idea human skulls could be used as bowling balls when they are still attached to their body.…"
Next time on "LoaCFA"
Episode 2: Moving in.
"Al, what are Gluttony and Lust doing in our house?"
"Well, Shrimp, Gluttony is eating mom's stuff. The question is, Why?
" Beats me brother, but Mom's not going to be happy."
"BOYS! YOU ARE SO DEAD!"