Disclaimer- Their chains are still mine! They belong to me!... ok that was a huge lie but hey, a girl can dream can't she? Anyway, they don't belong to me, I simply make them do embarrassing things.

Summery- What would have happened if Harry had defeated Voldemort in his Fifth year, picking up right where Harry kills him? Heres how I see it...

They're Back

(The Ministry, the room with the Vile in it. A/N: I know this is not where Voldemort was but it is the only way I can make my story work)

Harry thought fast as he had an open moment when Voldemort wasn't looking. 'What would Sirius do? What would he do? Think!'. He smacked himself in the head, accidently poking his eye with his wand. 'Note to self', he thought, 'don't do that again'. Then it hit him.

He quickly conjured up a blond wig, lip stick, two oranges, a bra and a pink dress. He pulled the bra on over his robes and stuffed the oranges down into it, shoved the dress over his body, threw on the wig and smeared lipstick on his lips. The looked around the statue he was hiding behind and saw Voldemort standing there, looking lost in the comotion of the duels raging around him.

Harry stepped out from his hiding place and tried to lean aginst the statue in a sexy pose. "Youuuuuu-hooooooo", he cooed in a high pitched voice, walking towards Voldemort, who looked at him and his eyes lit up. "Could you point a girl in the right direction of the Little girl's room?", Harry smiled.

"Yes, ma'me", Voldemort smiled his snakey smile, "it's right over there", he pointed to the left side of the room. "Would you like me to escort you?", he wiggled his eye brows at Harry, not know it was Harry, of course.

"Why", Harry said in his high pitched girly voice, "I would just love that". Voldemort offered his arm and Harry took it. When they were close enough to the Vile, he pushed Voldemort through, and giggled like the little girl he was pretending to be.

Everything stopped. All motion ended. Lupin was walking toward Harry, then Bellatrix tripped him and sent him flying into the Vile.

"Well, that sucks!", Tonks yelled at Bellitrix, "why'd you do that?". "The narrator told me to," Bellatrix shrugged. Tonks glarred up at the girl writing this story. "Why did you tell her to kill the man I love?", she demanded. (A/N: I just threw that in from the sixth book, so sue me!)

"Because," came the mighty narrator's voice, "it might be necessary for the story to continue. So stop complaining, or I'll have Luna hug you!".

Tonks backed off, "okey, okey, I didn't love him that much".

Luna looked to Ginny, "I hate clouds!", Ginny looked at her as she nodded gravely, eyes wide.

"I'm happy for you, Luna", she tried to smile, but failed.

Dumbledor came in, licking one of those huge suckers you get from candy shops. "Am I late?", he asked, looking around. All the Death Eaters had run away when they saw Harry in his disguise, except Bellatrix, who was busy trying to army crawl out of the room. "Ah, no no!", Dumbledor smiled, "I have plans for you! You can sort out my Ferbie collection!", he pulled Bellatrix to her feet.

Flash back

Dumbledor sat in his office with all his Ferbies, trying to name all six hundred he had. "So, you seven will be Sneezy, Dopey, Doc, Sleepy, Bashful-".

"You're stealing those names from Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs", one of the Ferbies squeaked at him.

"NO!", Dumbledor yelled in anger, "WALT DISNEY STOLE THOSE NAMES FROM ME! THEY'RE MINE! ALL MINE!".

"No, they're not", the same Ferbie said simply.

Dumbledor picked up the Ferbie and threw it out the window, then went back to naming the ones who wern't so insensitive to his feelings.

End Flash back

"Yes," Dumbledor smiled, "you can finish naming them as well"

"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", wailed Bellatrix at the narrator, "why do you torment me so?".

"Because I don't like you!", the narrator blew a raspberry at Bellatrix, then laughed maniacly, "MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I know it sucks, but please tell me what you think.

The story will make more sense as I update.

Until we meet again,

Foppet1