Sup everyone, I'm back with a great idea for the greatest comedy ever! If you haven't seen Aqua Teen Hunger Force, then you might not understand the story. But I feel this will turn out to be a great success.

Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I don't own anything.

Zim's New Slave

By Sanoon

Chapter 1: The Letter

It was another rainy, storming day on the South Jersey Shore. The large, blank castle that housed the maniacal madman named Dr. Weird was, as always, dark and gloomy.

Dr. Weird was standing in his lab, contemplating what his next great invention would be, when his garage door opened up. Inside was a small droid, about three feet high. Its cyan eyes gleaming with happiness as it punched itself in the head, laughing the whole time.

Dr. Weird looked in strange awe at what he saw. He didn't remember building this thing, but then again, his memory wasn't very reliable. "What the hell are you?" Dr. Weird asked.

"My name's GIR," the small robot said back. "My master is stuck in a rock."

Dr. Weird dropped his jaw, and then yelled over to the other side of the lab, "Steve, come look at what I made when I was drunk! It's incredible!"

"Good job doc." Steve said after walking over to Dr. Weird. "So ahh, what is it?"

"I don't know! It just came here!" Dr. Weird replied.

"I…thought you said you made it?" Steve asked, confused at what Dr. Weird said.

"Ugh, yea. I did!" Dr. Weird replied, and then threw his head back in laughter.

"I'm going to make mud pies now!" GIR shouted. He waved goodbye to the two strange humans, and flew out of the building where the large Rabbot hole was.

"To Mike Howard, 435 Drove St. Nevada." Shake said to himself to as he wrote out the last letter address. "There, 300 letters. Someone ought a buy him now."

"Buy who?" Meatwad asked as he rolled into the room.

"Nothin squirt. It was something else. You wouldn't know anything about it," Shake replied, hiding the letters in a bag. "I'm going to the post office to mail these letters." After which, Shake left the house.

"Have fun Shake," Meatwad yelled from the doorway.

"Ohh I will," Shake yelled back. "Trust me on that."

Three days later, whereever the hell Zim lives
"MASTER, MASTER, MASTER," GIR yelled as he ran into the living room. Zim was sitting in the kitchen eating some snax.

"What is it GIR," Zim asked, already annoyed at what the answer might be.

"You got mail," GIR said, running into the kitchen with the letters in his mouth.

"MAIL," Zim yelled. "Who would send me mail…unless…ohh no, someone knows about our mission, and they're writing for our surrender!"

"Actually," GIR said. "It's from South Jersey. Its about a slave sale."

"WHAT!" Zim yelled. "A slave sale, what a perfect way to…wait. How do you know, GIR?"

Welllll," GIR said. "I already read the letter."

"YOU READ MY MAIL!" Zim yelled.

GIR nodded his head and started laughing. "It was funny. Come on piggy, lets go play in the mud!" GIR yelled, pulling a pig out of his head compartment.

Before GIR could run off, Zim managed to grab the letters out of GIR's mouth. He unfolded the paper, and read the letter.

Dear whoever this is,

It may interest you that I have a very good deal in the human-meat thing market. For as little as $12.00, you too can own your very own slave. That's right, your very own slave. All you have to do is be the first to send a reply to my address. (It's on the front for anyone not retarded enough to know.) Please do this, because I want $12.00.

Sincerely,
Master Shake

Zim looked up from the letter with glee. "A slave, maybe one more competent than GIR. I MUST HAVE IT!" Zim yelled. He ran to his computer, and typed up a reply. He would have this slave, and he would have it soon.

After Zim was finished, he put the reply in an envelope, and looked around for GIR. He was still busy messing around in the mud. "GIR!" Zim yelled. GIR jumped up, ran into the house door, opened the house door,and ran towards Zim. "GIR, I want you to mail this letter, and dispose of the original letter."

GIR's cyan color changed to red, and he saluted his master. "Yes, my lord!" his red color quickly reverted back to its original cyan color. He smiled, grabbed both letters, and ran out the door.

Outside, GIR looked at the letter he was supposed to destroy. He threw it in his mouth, chewed on it, and spit it into the trashcan. He then put the other letter in the mailbox. After he completed these simple tasks, he jumped back into the mud pit.

A few days later, Zim received Shakes reply. He won the slave. After jumping in glee, he loaded up his voot runner, and left for New Jersey.

Dib was hiding in the bushes, and watched as the voot runner took off…in broad daylight. Dib shook his head at the people who didn't even notice the alien ship quickly fly overhead.

Dib slid out of the bushes, and crawled over to the trashcan. He ripped the lid off, and started rummaging through it like a small child on Christmas day. After a few minutes of sifting through worn out piggy dolls, Dib found a letter. It was slightly damp, but he knew it must be something big. He unfolded it and read through the letter. He gasped at what it said. "A slave. Zim wants a human slave. He's more evil than I imagined. I have to find the address so I can find him and stop him before it's too late." Dib looked back into the trashcan and started to rummage through it again. After a few seconds he lifted his head back up. "Was I talking to myself again? I really need to stop doing that."

After a few more minutes of a degrading hobo-like search through Zim's garbage, he found the address. He knew what he had to do. He needed to get to New Jersey, and stop Zim before a human life was ruined.

The end of chapter one. Hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it. Chapter two will be up very soon, seeing as I have nothing else to do, I will be writing until its completion. Please review, for my sanity.

Submitted 12/23/05