The Best of Times...
By Ozzallos
A Fukufics (dotcom)
Production
"Dead Scream."
The line of energy hit its target dead on, blowing it back fifty feet through a concrete divider and into its own personal smoldering crater. Setsuna hadn't even bothered to transform in initiating the blast. While she could get away with that in public once or twice, going full Senshi was an outright no-no. She made one last cursory inspection of the smoking trench the attack had created and smiled at a job well done. Now maybe she could—
"I fight on!"
Setsuna Meiou froze, while her cheek muscle had developed a nervous tick to it. She turned to find her tormentor staggering out of the dusty ruin, his black suit in tatters. The once proud sunglasses fell away in molten ruin while his bokken burned like a torch. Why wouldn't he just stay down! Her mind raced. At first she had thought this Prince R was a pervert. The second time made him a dumb pervert. The third, a determined pervert. After that, she had begun resorting to Dead Screams in order to dissuade his unwelcome advances. Seventh time's a charm maybe?
"Indeed… You are as formidable as your beauty…. Suggests…" Prince R, otherwise known as Tatewake Kuno, was fighting for every breath his labored movements produced. "Therefore… I shall… Allow you to… Date me!" The woman sometimes known as Sailor Pluto growled maliciously.
"DEAD SCREAM! DEAD SCREAM! DEAD SCREAM!"
"So that's the other end of the porthole?" Usagi stared at the holographic image Ami had produced using the Mercury Computer remote.
Ami nodded, brushing a bit of hair from her face. "Yep. A pocket universe no more than a hundred kilometers in diameter."
Rei stared at the floating bubble, which held a bright blob in the center. "Ok, then, what's that?" She poked the insubstantial orange blob, cutting through the hologram to do so.
"It's the only thing I could get an accurate reading on." Ami replied. "Seems to be a large power source of some sort. I'd almost rate it a mini star."
"And the youma are coming from that?" Michiru wondered and her partner spoke up.
"Well, hell. We'll just send Hotaru in and waste the place with a Death Reborn." Haruka commented. "She'll vaporize a hundred kilometers like it isn't even there."
This earned an arched eyebrow from Mercury. "Uh huh. And how is she going to survive the resultant collapse her DRR creates?" Michiru asked pointedly, to which Uranus remained silent. "That power source is likely the only thing keeping the pocket stable. Go in and Death Reborn it and you'll probably wipe yourself out when it folds in upon itself."
"That, and we should probably figure out what's going on in there anyway." Usagi pointed out.
Hotaru wasn't necessarily thrilled with the idea of unleashing the vast amounts of power at her command. It was what made her feared by others and generally made what little she remembered of the Silver Millenium a miserable existence. It was a tough life, being a strategic weapon of mass destruction. "Right. Maybe Pluto can get a better feel for what we're up against."
As if bidden by her name, Pluto staggered into the meeting looking less than pristine. In fact, she looked rather exhausted and bedraggled, truth be told. Michiru took one look at the disheveled state of her fellow outer and gasped. "What the hell happened to you?"
If she had looked fatigued before, the scrunched face and fire in her eyes seemed to banish it completely with the question. "$#$# Prince R happened, that's what!"
Minako's eyes sparkled. "You MET Prince R? He talked to you personally?" The remainder of the Inners were beginning to feel a tad jealous.
"Um, didn't you like him?" Usagi asked carefully, noticing the steady anger boiling from the Senshi.
"Like him!" Setsuna blew a fuse. Several of them, in fact. "He's the most arrogant, overbearing, pushy, self-centered perverted asshole I've ever met!"
Rei was blinking in confusion now. "You mean you didn't find him handsome, nice, chivalrous and powerful?" She cocked her head. "Did I mention he's a total dish?"
"A total dish!" The Senshi of time screeched. "A total PERVERT is what he is!"
"Er…" Michiru was at a loss, never having seen this Prince R. Still, he was a guy and Michiru of all people knew what THAT meant. She shared a knowing look with Haruka, who nodded in return. "Come on, Set-chan. We can talk about it in the next room." The trio departed leaving the confused Inners in their wake.
"She didn't like Prince R?" Ami put the question to nobody in particular. Who wouldn't like Prince R? The Inners looked from one to the other, then to the room Uranus, Neptune and Pluto departed to. While several thoughts came to mind in that instant, two were mutually shared by the girls.
They had no idea Pluto was like that... It was either that, or she really, really needed to get out more because all that time spent around the Gates was clearly driving her insane.
"It is done."
A shimmering crystal floated into the darkened sky, its brilliance a sharp contrast to the fallout boiling over her. Queen Serenity fell to her knees as her reserves washed away. Like the crystal that now winked high above, she too was a sharp contrast to the buckled, ruined landscape around her. In one series of combined attacks, the Silver Millennium had died and its Queen would soon follow into eternity.
Serenity smiled gently at the green haired Senshi that kneeled with her, tears falling from Pluto's last surviving Princess. She and the Advisors would be the only survivors of this great era, but its ruler had taken steps to ensure that the Millenium would not be forgotten. Artemis and Luna would go forward to ensure that when her children did arise, they would do so with friends. Setsuna Meiou had the much harder task, a task the Queen would not wish upon another soul. The Crescent Wand fell from her hand and the felines began to waver, fading from reality.
"On behalf of the moon, you will be free. Maybe we'll meet again, someday…"
It fell to the charred ground and the cats were gone, swallowed up by a temporal vortex that represented the last of Queen Serenity's power. Her last breath taken, she slipped away, white gown flowing along the tattered ground.
Setsuna Meiou was the Guardian of Time, the last remaining Princess of Pluto and now sole survivor of the Silver Millennium. She was also the last person to see Queen Serenity alive.
Ranma Saotome, heir apparent to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts sat strait up in his futon, suddenly wide-awake. He looked around, only to find a dark room occupied in part by a snoring old man. What in the HELL was that! Screw the dead woman, the dream had been nothing short of an all out apocalyptic free for all! Lasers, building to building combat and freakin' huge starships. And who was the last person standing? Sailor Pluto. Nightmare. Had to be. Besides, he could always tell a nightmare from everything else. How?
All his nightmares featured cats.
A horizontal tornado cut through the youma ranks that were pressing Sailor Moon back, carving up the very earth as it annihilated the Senshi's opponents. Usangi turned to find a crimson and white fuku leaping into fray, sliding in beside her. "Sorry I'm late, your Highness."
Usagi stared at the redhead for a moment in shock and the others took that as their cue to regroup around the Princess. She broke out of her stunned daze and smiled with a nod. Sailor Nova took up a position on her flank and the remainder of the Senshi- Mercury, Venus and Jupiter arrayed around them. Moon's smile disappeared quickly, however as she considered the mass of youma in front of them. It was a full-scale incursion, with an initial number of around fifty of the monsters spilling from the gate this time. The three girls were the only ones on scene at the time and managed a respectable job in carving up their numbers, but each one of them was more than happy to see Usagi's elite body guard arrive on scene. The others would be there momentarily, but the buffer Sailor Nova would create was more than welcome in the meantime.
"So what's the plan, your Worshipfulness?" Nova inquired with a slight smirk.
Sailor Moon's spirits immediately began to lift with the redhead's playful mood, the fact that she might have just been insulted not even occurring to the blonde. "Hmm, wait here for the others to arrive?"
"Wrong Answer!" the redhead piped merrily and brought the staff around to a striking position. "In the name of the Moon, it's time to kick some ass and take some names!"
"Um, youma don't have names…" Sailor Mercury pointed out somewhat redundantly.
Nova's smile gained a
whole new level of mischief. "Then I guess there's only one thing
to do then—SHINING NOVA!" A radiant blue ball of power
erupted from the Alpha Guardian's hand, flashing outward into the
now advancing horde. Two of the monsters were vaporized outright
while another two sustained enough injury to totally incapacitate
them when the sphere of ki detonated. Sure it was
a Moko Takabisha by any other name, but it wouldn't do to advertise
her signature moves by their proper names in mixed company.
It took the Senshi a
few precious moments to regain their wits before they engaged the
horde as well, cutting loose with magical attacks that ripped through
their lines. With Sailor Nova as the anchor, the last youma went down
just as the Outers arrived on scene with Chibi Moon in tow.
Three outers and a pink haired girl landed on scene only to find youma ash already scattering to the wind. The tomboyish blond had a dejected look about her. "You called us here for this, you Clutz—OOOF!"
One moment Sailor Nova was standing next to Moon and the next her fist was imbedded in Haruka's stomach as if teleported there. She doubled over on impact and Sailor Nova followed the stroke through, her elbow swinging savagely into her chin. The Senshi seemed to lift into the air about two feet before landing hard on her derrière. Even Michiru standing beside her gaped.
Sailor Nova bent over the stricken girl and summoned forth the most condescending tone she could muster. "You're not too bright are ya? What did I tell you about insulting the Princess?"
An intangible wave of power slapped into Nova as Sailor Uranus's power levels spiked. "THAT'S IT! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Her snap kick failed to connect and now the redhead stood standing ten feet from her.
"So bring it, already."
Uranus examined her opponent carefully. The attack had been surprising in more ways than one. First, the little redheaded bitch was ungodly fast, so fast that her only warning had been a blur of motion. The second fact was slightly more surprising—She had expected far more power behind that fist. Oh sure, it was powerful enough and she'd be feeling it for the next few days, but either the girl was really pulling her punches or she just didn't have the same absolute power the rest of the Senshi had. Sailor Nova, in the meantime, had come to somewhat the same conclusion. It hadn't been full power, but the tomboy shouldn't have been able to pick herself up off the ground quite that easily. The fuku armor, she decided silently. If anything, it caused her grin to widen, which took Haruka back slightly. Wasn't she the one with the edge? only one through course through Nova's mind--
Finally, something that could absorb the punishment she was capable of dishing out.
Sailor Uranus may have had the advantage in terms of raw power, but there was no way she could have known that she was nothing more than a sparring post to Nova. Her own fist cruised in, but to Nova, she was slow. Insanely slow. Especially after fighting some of her more exotic rivals. Haruka smiled ferally as the fist seemed certain to break the little red imp's nose… then she was gone. The Outer Senshi only had enough time to notice the shadow eclipsing the light above her before two aerial kicks slashed into her face, sending Uranus careening wildly out of control and into the ground one more.
The redhead landed lightly beside her. "Wanna apologize to the Princess now, sport?"
"GRRRRrrrrRRR…" Uranus was just pushing herself off the ground when an unexpected sound was heard. It was a happy and melodious sound, something entirely inappropriate to the situation.
"Heheheheheee…." Both brawlers stopped and turned to the pink haired girl, who was once again quivering unnaturally. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!" A sweat drop rolled down the head of everybody on scene. "OHOHOHOHO! WAHAHAHA!"
Sailor Nova simply stared. "What the hell…."
"…IS SO DAMN FUNNY!" Uranus finished the sentiment.
Sailor Chibi managed to reign in the laughter. Slightly. "Heheheh! Some rice… Hehehe! And… hehehe-snort-heheh! Two pickles! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
It must have been the punch line to the funniest damn joke in the universe, except that nobody was getting it… Except one redheaded Sailor Senshi, who noticeably paled. She took a slight step away from the insane pink haired girl, as if she were a ticking time bomb.
Sailor Moon took advantage of the break in hostilities. "Um, I know! Let talk about it over ice cream." The Inners, not totally oblivious to the fine line being walked between Nova and the Outers readily agreed, and the suggestion seemed to pull Chibi Usa out of her humorous fit, though her eyes still shined. Nova looked from Moon to Uranus to Chibi. Trapped. If she bugged out now, it would look suspicious as hell, or like she was running away from a fight; she wasn't sure which was worse. If she did stay, she faced the prospect of hanging out with a bunch of twiddling girls and the questions they undoubtably had for her. And then there was Chibi Moon who knew….Something. Unless she had been in contact with the Tendos, there was no way she should have known THAT particular event that happened so long ago in her life. Curiosity made the decision for Sailor Nova. She had to find out just how deep she was in it with this Senshi.
"My, what a flashy transformation you had back there." Haruka eyed the redheaded imp with suspicion as she scooped the ice cream out of her cup. ""Not like ours at all."
"Well, hey," Yumei Ikari, aka Sailor Nova, aka Ranko Tendo, aka Ranma Saotome rose to the challenge. She had been expecting it, in fact. "If you wanna give the boys a free peep show, that's all you." Half the Senshi present in the ice cream parlor began to choke on their frozen dessert, as if suddenly aware of their highly revealing transformation process. Haruka and Michiru both turned beet-red, given their sexual orientation. "As for me, I'll settle for burning the pervert's eyeballs out."
Many of the girls present at the moment silently began to amend their transformation sequence.
Chibi Usa continued to barely suppress the occasional giggle as she ate, a behavior that was beginning to annoy 'Yumei' to no end. She didn't like to dance around confrontation, so she charged into it instead. If her cover was to be blown, she'd rather know right here and now. "So what's you story, Squirt?"
The giggling ceased immedietly as the pink haired girl held the redhead in a thoughtful look. Then her face broke out in a wide smile. "Story… Uncle Yumei?" Yumei twitched and now all the Senshi were staring at Small Lady.
"Uncle?"
It wasn't necessarily the gender pronoun that had the girls on edge all of a sudden. After all, they were all quite used to Hotaru calling Hakaru 'papa'. The fact that Chibi had just named another relative beyond Moon and Kamen, however, did not go unnoticed.
Yumei-Ranma shook her head. This was just getting weirder and weirder. Like her life wasn't already insane enough as it is. "Sorry, kiddo. Got me mistaken for somebody else. Do I look like a guy to you?"
"Of course not, Uncle-san!" Chibi Usa snickered. "What a curse that'd be!" Yumei-Ranma twitched again and the girl broke down once again.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Ranma Saotome stepped up to the gates of the Tendo dojo with a noticeable lack of a spring in his step. It had been a rough day. No, the two bouts of youma attacks hadn't done it. Or the incessant hostility between him and Sailor Uranus. No, what was really bugging him was the small pink haired girl who hadn't stopped with the icecream parlor. Her dropping of hints continued for the rest of the day and it became obvious that Chibi Usa knew exactly who he was. Oddly enough, she never bothered to explain them to the other curious Senshi, as if it were her own private joke. Ranma thought hard on the situation. She was somebody who knew who Nova was and was closely associated with Pluto, but was withholding her true identity regardless. Even so, her relentless needling had taken its toll.
Ranma stepped through the house door and was immediately filled with a sense of dread. Karma. Like a great white shark, it had returned, intending to finish the victim it had taken a bite out of weeks earlier. Few people were as attuned to karma as the Saotome, and now it washed across him like a flood. The bickering that filtered through the house was easily heard and it all stopped the moment he set foot into the living room.
Ranma was quite certain that the woman standing in the middle of it had something to do with the matter. He glanced at Akane's face, whose burning visage told him everything. New fiancée. Had to be. Dammit, that woman was SO going to get it. He didn't want to move to Phase Three, but she brought it down upon herself. But first thing was first.
The woman turned around and it was only years of built up immunity that kept him from picking his jaw up off the floor. She was absolutely gorgeous. Ranma had long since considered his own girl type to be at the top of the hottie food pyramid, but this new fiancée took the cake, ate it and asked for seconds. She stood about 5'8", had luxurious brown hair and a body that most girls would die for. Everything that she wore seemed to emphasis that last fact, from the tight white top that couldn't hope to hide her ample breasts to the short, skintight skirt.
Maybe he'd hold off on Pluto for a bit.
"Hello!" The woman gushed; stepping over to Ranma to embrace his hand warmly. "You probably don't remember, but your father and my grandfather pledged us to marry quite some time ago. My name is Makoto Kashiwagi!"
"Um, nice to meet ya." Ranma let a polite smile escape his face for the nice girl, but nothing more than that. To do anything more was to risk grave injury at the hands of the first fiancée. The martial artist turned to Nabiki, who had been expecting the silent query. She held a sheet of paper in response and he simply sighed. Well, it wasn't all bad, he suspposed. Pluto must really be slipping to send somebody this attractive. Of course, it could have just been a coincidence…
Ranma almost burst out laughing at the insanity of the thought.
"Uh, Miss Kashiwagi…"
"Call me Mako-chan." She supplied with a beautiful smile. Akane began to glow in the background and the family edged away from her.
"Er, Right. Have they already explained the situation?" Ranma motioned toward the family and refused to acknowledge his father's existence.
Mako-chan nodded. "Quite complex, but I'm sure we'll have it worked out in no time." Nobody missed the emphasis, let alone Akane Tendo.
"You two timing CASSANOVA! Another fiancée!" The table was in the air and impact was imminent when Ranma reacted on instinct, whipping the new girl out of the way and shattering the table with a fist. The room now stood in shock.
"Dammit, Akane! She's not even a martial artist!" It was probably the only thing that would have earned a rebuke from him, but her behavior was quite unacceptable. Sure the last month had been stressful on her. No, yet another fiancée wasn't helping matters. But her reactions were getting as bad as Ryogas! The youngest Tendo seemed to realize this too, and paled.
"I'm… I'm sorry!" She blurted and ran upstairs to her room in tears. The rest of the family looked at him expectantly.
Ranma sighed. "Yeah, I'd better see if she's okay…"
Few things could outright stop the martial artist's mental process these days, as the strangeness in Ranma's life could be shrugged off like a pellet striking adamantium plating. Strangeness, however, was about to deliver the boy an armor piercing round as he stepped into Akane's room, determined to check on his part time fiancée. His eyes were immediately pulled from the sulking girl to the walls, which were plastered floor to ceiling with…
"Sailor Nova?"
Akane sniffled. "Yeah, so what?"
Ranma now looked like a trapped animal, eyes darting wildly from wall to wall. Sailor Nova was everywhere. "It's just… uh.. Well…" It was just plain freaky that the woman who had serious anger management and trust issues with him was idolizing his Senshi alter ego, but he didn't feel the need to elaborate on that particular topic. Ranma wandered over to her desk, which had a Nova action figure poised on it. Riiiight. Somebody has been busy.
"Heck, she's probably better than you are!" Akane blurted defensively upon seeing his quizzled expression.
Ranma opened his mouth then closed it. What in the hell was he going to say to THAT one? "Look, I just want ta make sure you're okay… I ain't datin' her." He paused with her doubtful expression. "Come on, 'Kane. You gotta trust me one of these days."
Akane considered the pigtailed boy in front of her and with him, everything they had been through. "Alright, alright. So maybe I was being a little unreasonable."
Ranma smiled. It was as close to an apology and understanding as he was going to get. That didn't make it any less important, however. "Fair enough. Don't worry, we'll just handle her like all the other fiancées."
"God, I hope not." Akane commented with amusement.
Ranma summoned a hurt expression. "Hmmf! I see how it is." Then, with a smile, "I'm gonna hit the bath. It's been a long day." He stepped out of the room and made his way down to the bath, absently noting the lack of any 'occupied' markings. Sliding open the door, he quickly found himself face to face with a extremely well endowed woman who just happened to be his newest fiancée. Suds covered her nude body as she rinced off under the cold water, and Ranma's mentally plating took yet another armor piercing round. In other words, he froze as his eyes began to transverse everything she had to offer.
Which, incidentally, was quite more than what Ranma was prepared for.
"Oh, um, hi Ranma." Makoto Kashiwagi said with slight embarrassment, cheeks turning a bit pink. One thing that was clear, however, was that see was quite proud of her body. She stood up to pull the towel down to her, affording Ranma a most excellent view of her—
Ranma's world shattered.
Ample breasts: check. Curvy hips: check. Beautiful eyes and pouty lips: Check-check. Male organs where they really had no place being: Che—WHAT IN THE HELL? Even as Ranma attempted to resolve this reality defying turn of events, a presence approached from behind him.
"Ranma, I forgot to tell you—" Whatever Akane was about to say was cut short as she realized he was starring at a completely nude woman who was just draping a towel around herself. "RANMA, YOU PERV—" The youngest Tendo's eyes widened as she caught sight of the same thing her fiancé had. Needless to say, she gaped. "You … She… He… YOU'RE BOTH PERVERTS!" Somehow Akane found herself unable to stomp off or hit Ranma this time, as if she were witness to some horrible wreck that she just couldn't tear her eyes away from.
"I can explain…" The now covered Mako-chan offered, stepping over to the pair. Unforunately, she stumbled on the bucket of cold water at her feet and there was only one place for it to go. It hit Ranma, snapping the redhead out of the trance enough to notice the curiosity now radiating from her newest fiancée.
"Well, now, if that isn't convenient…."
"Yes it's true." Mako-chan confirmed to family gathered around the dinner table, who stared in awe. "Grandfather told me I should keep 'it' a secret for this exact reason." She cast a sad look at Akane, who had taken the place at the table furthest away from the new girl. The youngest Tendo tried to rationalize it all. She acted like a girl, but had the parts of both? She shivered slightly.
"A herma- hermaphrodite?" A male Ranma stumbled over the word, to which Mako-chan nodded.
"Technically, I'm both sexes," She explained. "But I just consider myself fully equipped!" She smiled at the last, then at Ranma. "And it would appear that so are you."
"But I'm a GUY!" Ranma protested, a point he'd made more times than he could count. Probably wouldn't be the last, either.
"…Who just happens to be a girl half the time." Mako-chan's smile widened. "And I just happen to be a girl who is both at the same time. It's perfect!"
Kasumi ripped loose with an "Oh my" while even Nabiki cocked her head at the logic. "You do know there's a world of difference between the two?" The middle Tendo pointed out.
"Not so much." Makoto countered. "After all, we're both good for each other no matter what form Ranma is in!"
The cursed martial artist in question suddenly had a desperate need for fresh air.
"We have to stop meeting like this, Son in-law." The wrinkled Elder stated from her position across the table. She and Ranma now sat in Cologne's "safe room", a space so magically warded that little- if anything -could penetrate it to eavesdrop. Ranma hoped that included the The Meddler as well. "Why so late, anyway?"
"I figure that's either when she'll be asleep or won't suspect me to be up and around." Ranma explained easily, to which Cologne arched an eyebrow.
"She?" The Elder latched on to the gender identity. "So your mysterious opponent is a she, hmmm? Speaking of which, how is the Staff of Ascension treating you?"
"Well, It was tough at first, but—" Ranma stopped suddenly. "You know."
"Indeed, Son in-law." The elder grinned. "I did not recognize you immediately on the television… for obvious reasons." He frowned and the grin widened. "But the Staff of Ascension is quite a legend amongst the Amazons and tough to miss."
"Damn, I hope nobody else picks up on that." Ranma shook his head at her accurate deductions.
"I doubt it. Few know of the individual staves themselves and even fewer the Staff. Of those who do, most think that it is still in the possession of the Phoenix tribe." The Amazon explained, unworried. "Still, it begs the question… Why are you now in the company of the Sailor Senshi? Or for that matter, how did you, of all people, become one?"
"Dammit, that's the part I can't tell you." He grumbled and she studied the martial artist intently.
"Then I'm afraid my help will be quite limited."
Damn. Damndamndamn." Ranma fussed, then looked her dead in the eye. "Fine. But you have to swear what I tell you doesn't leave this room. I don't even want it written in a report to the village or a journal, clear?"
Colognes eyes widened slightly. He knew about the reports? "Clear, Son in-law."
"Her name is Sailor Pluto."
Ranma couldn't have surprise Cologne more if he tried. "Did you say… Pluto?"
"Yeah, why?" There was no mistaking the reaction. The old mummy knew something.
"Because if this Pluto and the one of Amazon legend are one in the same, she has been meddling in Joketsuzoku affairs for thousands of years." Cologne growled. "To what extent will probably never be known, but the name is not a welcome one among the Elders." She paused, her eyes gaining an evil glint. "This is your adversary?"
"Sounds like it." He replied, surprised to see Cologne's emotional mask slip to such a degree.
"What do you propose?"
Now it was Ranma's turn to pick up an evil grin. Anything Goes School of Payback, Step Three. "Remember the 'Girl Away' powder we used on Happosai?" She nodded. "I need something that only attracts the old fart." Cologne's grin now matched Ranma's.
"The Joketsuzoku Amazon's will be more than honored to provide whatever assistance you require in this matter."
"OOOH HOHOHOHO!" The sound rang out through the afternoon air, causing Ranma to freeze instantly in his appointed task. "I have found you , Ranma-sama!"
Silently, Ranma praised the Lord for her presence. "Ah, Ko-chan! It's so good to see you!" The Hell froze over with those words.
"Of course it is, " Kodachi replied with sweet arrogance. "And I must say that I do not approve of your carousing with the Sailor strumpets." Then she added. "Though you look quite fetching in that suit."
The martial artist face planted into the ground. Why was it always the insane ones that could see through the disguise? Regardless, the plan was still workable. "Ya know, about that, Ko-chan… I wouldn't if it weren't for that evil slave driver!"
"What?" Kodachi's eyes began to glow. "The only one that will take a whip to my Ranma-sama is me!"
Ranma twitched nervously and began to wonder the wisdom of this particular plan. "Uh, right… And she's the one forcing me to, er, 'carouse' with the Senshi!"
"She?"
Ranma smiled as his explanation began to have the desired effect. "Yes… I would date you if not for her plans for me…"
"PLANS?"
"Unspeakable plans." Ranma added, now thoroughly enjoying himself.
"This wench shall fall by my hand!" Kodachi protests vehemently, chewing on her ribbon. "Inform me as to this whores' name!"
"Would you like her address as well?" Minutes later and information in hand, Kodachi Kuno was off like a shot, allowing Ranma to return to his work.
"Heya Pops, have you seen the old fart?"
Genma Saotome's eyes widened and Soun Tendo's hands froze halfway through making his move in their eternal shogi match. "Don't even think of him, Boy!"
"He's Right Ranma!" Soun agreed. "Such thoughts draw him forth."
"Feh, whatever." He dismissed both parents with a shrug. "I need ta see him now."
"WHAT?" Both parents where up now, staring in disbelief. "Don't you dare draw the Master here! Besides, nobody knows where he's off to!"
"So you think me saying his name will get him here?" Ranma asked and both parents nodded with apprehension. Ranma smiled and took a deep breath. "Happosai! Happosai! Happosai!"
"Sweeto!" The parents froze instantly, a horrified look plastered along their face. The demon had been summoned. "Ranma, my boy! What's up?"
"I have something you might like to know…" Ranma smiled.
"Oh?"
"How would you like to get yourself a hold of some very special magical girl panties?"
Author's notes: Hooyah! Still chuggin' along here. At this point I'm estimating maybe two more parts to this series now that things are solidifying upstairs here. The end series plot is all but mapped out, so I hope you're enjoying the show. Yes, I do have a definite end in mind.
Makoto Kashiwagi;This character is from the manga "Boku no Futatsu no Tsubasa" or "My Two Wings". A warning before you go google it, as it is a rather hentai series and should be classified as Rated 'R'. I can't take credit for the idea as I was actually looking for a bi anime character to fill the role, but then Herb (fukufics irc) pointed this one out and I decided it was just evil enough to role with.
The Silver Millenium; Yes, I'm taking slight liberties in casting Setsuna as being the last person to see the Queen alive. I won't tell if you won't ;)
Special thanx to the FukuFics IRC crew (as always) and Delta-Theta
Changes: v2- Spelling, grammar v3- It's RICE and TWO PICKES! ARRAAAH!