The Best of Times...
By Ozzallos
A Fukufics (dotcom) Prodution
Part 7
"On difficult ground, press on";
"On encircled ground, devise stratagems";
"On death ground, fight"
--Sun Tzu
"On fiancée ground, run. Run like hell."
--Ranma Saotome
Happosai rubbed the knot on his head as the world slowly crept back into existence. Damn that woman can sure dish out the punishment! But it had been worth it. The perverted master pulled out a frilly bra from the folds of his tunic, admiring the pink lacy garment. He replaced the bra and pulled out a pair of similarly shaded panties. Very nice. And the woman herself was entirely worthy of such garments. "I gotta remember to reward the boy for picking a woman with such an outstanding taste in underwear," he though merrily. "All my training must be finally rubbing off on him... Now if only he would wear something this nice," he lamented as he rubbed the panties against his face.
But there was a problem.
Where the hell am I?
That was the question of the moment as Happosai took stock of his surroundings, a dense forest framed by an angry, overcast sky. It sure wasn't Nerima, Juuban or even Tokyo for that matter. The old man considered himself the worldly sort, but he was at a loss as to his immediate location. Happosai recalled his final moments in the presence of the green-haired beauty. Letsee, first there was the gropping- Happosai paused with a whistful smile before moving on -then there was her pathetic attempts to beat him off. After that, that annoying 'dead scream' attack of hers. He rubbed his head reflexively, recalling the headache it had produce. Then she waved that staff thing around, the weird gates opened and... The flash of light was blinding? And now he was here? Wherever here was again. Happosai scanned the horizon and happened upon an unusual sight... four heads carved into the side of a granite face... He was in... America? The hottie had transported him to... Mount Rushmore!
Happosai boggled. Not exactly the sort of retaliation he was expecting. Energy blast, sure. Vacation? Um, ok... He oriented on the stone faces and was about ready to begin his walk when a strong power signature closed rapidly on his position. It took less than a second to assess its threat potential and sidestep the inbound assault with apparent disinterest.
"GOTCHA YOU LITTLE LEPRECH--!"
The spiky white-haired youth shot out of the tree line, flew by the old pervert and plowed face first into the ground. The kid hopped up from his crash landing, coughing dust. He shook the impact off and faced the old gnome. "I'm gonna get my wish if it's the last thing I do!"
Happosai arched an eyebrow. Wish? Since when was I giving out wishes? The youth tensed and this time Happi didn't bother to dodge. Instead, he brought his pipe to bear and casually deflected the youth's attack, painfully redirecting it into a nearby tree. "Tsk, tsk! You're gonna have to do better than that, you little twerp!"
The Master took stock of the young boy and his appearance, which was odd to say the least. Well, not necessarily odd, just that he hadn't seen the style in generations... Teen trend combined with.. Ninjitsu styling? In America? The kid smacked his face a couple times to regain feeling to it and faced the master once more. The upstart was as bad as Ranma! But something was wrong here and he needed to find out what...
"Hold on, m'boy."
The youth paused momentarily, staring at the old gnome. "You gonna give me my wish?"
Happosai scritched his chin thoughtfully. "Possibly, possibly. What's you're name, anyway?"
The boy considered him warily. "Jiraiya. Who wants to know?"
"Name's Happosai m'boy, and I need some information." The old Master smiled.
"I gotcher information... For a wish." Happosai sighed. The boy had a one track mind.
"What makes you think I have a wish to give?"
"Yer a leprechaun." The spiky-haired boy rationalized with a shrug. "It's your job."
Happosai blinked. Didn't he need a pot o' gold or something to do that? The Master brushed the youth's misinformed mythology. "Ok, then, what's you're wish?"
Jiraiya's eyes glimmered. "Chicks!"
A smile crept across Happosai's face. The kid may have the attitude of Ranma, but this one may have potential. "I think we can come to some sort of an arrangement. Where you from?"
"Konoha, of course."
"NOW WHERE AM I!"
Ryoga spun around with a panicked look in his eyes. There was good reason for that look. One moment he had been trudging through downtown Paris, staring at the ancient pyramids, and the next he found himself... here. Wherever here was. Blackness now surrounded the boy as he desperately sought a frame of reference inside the inky void that had found him. And found it-- A huge pair of double doors, intricately carved in wood and stone. Beside them was a tall, lithe woman with green hair streaming down her back. Had Ryoga been any closer, he might have suffered a nosebleed due to the extremely revealing costume she wore. Since she appeared to be the only inhabitant in sight, the lost boy's next course of action was obvious.
"Excuse me, Miss... Do you..."
Sensing his presence for the first time, the woman spun around, the unrestrained breasts within her fuku swaying with the motion. This was not to mention the flash of forbidden naughty bits that were exposed as the skirt's hem rose on the spin. "YOU!" Rage illuminated her eyes like twin shafts of divine light.
?Me? Ryoga took a step back reflexively while holding his nose that tried to explode bloodily. Like Ranma, his senses concerning feminine fury were finely honed... and like Ranma, he tried desperately not to look at the jiggling mounds of female flesh before him.
"I know who sent you!" The woman hissed and brought a heart tipped staff to bear on the lost boy. "First those insane idiots, then the pervert troll and now an assassination attempt!"
"Um, I don't--"
"I've seen hell because of you people!"
Something tugged at the back of Ryoga's psyche with those words, but he couldn't for the life of him remember why. The answer came soon enough. "RYOGA HIBIKI, PREPARE TO DIE!"
Somehow, he just knew this was all Ranma's fault.
Mamoru Chiba, otherwise known as Tuxedo Kamen clutched his side with one arm while the other gratefully took a bag of ice from a concerned looking Usagi Tsukino. The lumpy bag was immediately applied to black eye. A sigh accompanied the action, an action that only diminished the concern radiating from his girl friend slightly. Each throb of pain forced him to recall the very, very tragic tale that led to his beatdown at the hands of some guy unimaginatively named 'Prince R'.
It was all going well until he had attempted the punch, only to have it intercepted by the previously unknown Prince. That's when it all went horribly wrong. Sure, the arrival of the weird little youma had given the escalating conflict pause, but only momentarily. The Prince himself seemed to take great delight in watching the troll bounce around after Sailor Pluto and relieve her of her undergarments, but that lasted only moment. Even as Kamen himself stood distracted, the Prince whipped around and completed the move Tux had started, nailing the only male Senshi with vicious right cross that sent him into the nearest wall.
Quite literally into the nearest wall.
Where Tuxedo Kamen's punch had been borne of reflexive anger, Prince R's retaliations was calculated and precise. The stranger's counter attack didn't allow Kamen any time to formulate a battle plan as two more fists burned in through the dust and pulverized his face, depriving him of any real sight. Next came the machine gun to his gut, as if a thousand fists had decided they would try to find a home inside his stomach. All at once. There was enough coherent thought left in his adrenaline drenched brain to unleash a veritable bouquet of high explosive roses, all of which seemed to flow around the Prince as his attacker stepped inside his non-existent guard one more time and unleashed a devastating energy attack at point-blank range.
The next thing he knew he was trying to sit up from within his very own smoldering crater... That was until he felt the heat of a glowing blade at his throat. It looked like it was carved from wood, but the glow had an undeniable lethality emanating from it. Tuxedo Kamen dared not move. The next words he heard beyond the pounding of his own heartbeat were burned in his head...
"When next we meet, you best be a Man among Men."
Chiba Mamoru stared at the crumpled rose, then to the worried Usagi. Man among men. Did men use roses as their main weapon? Did they stand at the back of the battle and snipe their targets with those said roses? Mamoru looked at his future wife once more and decide that changes needed to be made...
...After he could walk again.
The tall woman's black fuku wavered in the dawn breeze as she stared into the valley below. The horizon glowed a pinkish hue, but the ageless Senshi's attentions were focused elsewhere. Even as the rising sun banished the last vestiges of night from the painted desert below, her vision focused on the great walled city below. No force had assailed those walls in the memory of any of its occupants, a fact that was about to change. Her gave swept across the valley floor and onto the glinting cloud of dust at the other end, slowly moving like a tide to wash over the impregnable city. The fortress itself was still quiet. Sure, they knew of the force arrayed against them, perhaps the largest in the region, yet it didn't change the facts... The last army to attempt such a feat had been dashed and bloodied against their walls.
The rays of dawn cut through the sky and the army began to circle the fortress. Setsuna consulted her internal clock. Right on time. There was little tactical value to the maneuver, but its commander was obeying his instructions to the letter. The army halted and slowly the cloud of dust they had created blew across the horizon.
The Commander of the Israeli Army pressed a horn to his lips and blew, its trumpeting echoing around the canyon.
"Dead Scream."
The battlements shattered in a flash of light, creating an avalanche that began tearing chunks out of the walls of wholesale, replacing the departing cloud of dust with one of it's one. Within minutes, the breaches were substantial enough that the foreign contingent could begin their assault, pouring through the rubble and getting down to the business of sacking an impregnable city.
The Senshi of Time nodded with satisfaction. The Walls of Jericho had just come tumbling down.
Ranma tossed restlessly in his sleep... The visions continued.
...She snuggled below the bearskin covers and melted into the Scotsman's embrace, totally prepared to make the most of what would be their last night together. He was, of course, totally confident on the outcome of tomorrow's battle as any noble Scotsman would be, but Setsuna Meiou was the mistress of time and knew the future. She wanted desperately to stave off tomorrow, but there was destiny to consider. After tonight, destiny would snatch her lover from her arms. She mounted him once more and the two rocked away in the night, hoping to drowned out the the reality that she shouldn't even be there loving him, let alone expose herself to world to such a degree.
But she was lonely... So lonely.
Morning came all too quickly and Pluto watched as her lover mount his horse, clad in armor with a traditional Scottish claymore strapped to his back. She stayed behind, watching from the walls as his company departed down the cobblestone path, young maidens in tow. Soon, her lover would be dead and entangled in a quest of immortality that would only end in a pool of blood and beheadings, which in turn would jeopardize her mission. Now it was time to let him go from her arms and into the arms of destiny.
And once again she would be alone...
The pigtailed boy shifted uncomfortably...
...A fine layer of dust drifted from the ceiling as the bunker rocked again, the result of the dull thuds shifting the earth above it. Everything occupying the ground above the structure had been reduced to component rubble as tens of thousands of pounds of ordinance were dropped on the city. Black clad officers braced at their stations another five hundred pound bomb detonated atop their position. Luckily there was three feet of rock between them and the resultant detonation. No, it would take more than a mere daylight bombing raid to shatter the last remnants of the Third Reich's command structure... Or kill its leader.
Three hundred feet may have been enough to protect against the allied attack, but it wasn't enough to protect the various functionaries, generals and one Adolph Hitler from The Mistress of Time itself. The air shuttered inside the bunker and one of the more alert SS trench coats whirled around, bringing a machine gun to bear on the fuku-clad Senshi. Setsuna looked upon him with pity and willed time to slow down. Other guards reacted now, but their movements were far too slow for the green-haired woman who was now moving well in advance of real time. The heart-tipped staff she bore flared with power and the next thing the bunker's occupants saw was a soldier torn in half by a formless blur. The machine guns cackled in the troopers futile attempts to his the blur, while the officers began to pull their own sidearms in a futile effort to hit something. In the end, both soldiers and officers did end up hitting someone in the small confines of the bunker... Each other. Those that weren't cut down by the blurring flare of power managed to hit their own in the gun storm of flying bullets. Five minutes later, only one man stood alive within the structure.
"I told you I would be coming for you if you continued this nonsense." Sailor Pluto's gaze bore into the cowering mustachioed man. She took a step forward, and kicked a bullet ridden chair from her path. The leader of the German war machine nodded, his hand floated down to his belt, and the gun that waited there.
"And I told you what would happen to you if I had to come for you." Another nod, this one accompanied by the sound of pistol sliding out of its leather holster. The Senshi twirled the Key of Time around menacingly and took another step forward. There was no mistaking the lethal intent in her eyes... and more.
The gun came up slowly...
...To his chin...
The gunshot jarred Ranma from his fitful sleep and he bolted upright for the second time that night. Tonight, he was alone save the disquieting memories that refused to give him any measure of peace. As if the Sailors last stand at Mars hadn't been bad enough... Just what the hell was this woman! Ranma sent a hard fist into his futon and cursed silently.
He was in dire need of answers, and it has time to get them.
Chibi Usa waved her daily farewell to Usagi as she and the rest of the sailor parted company to engage in the annoying practice known as school. Not that she really needed the education, having already received a fine one in the future, just she had so many friends there these days. The pink haired Senshi from the future would have rather accompanied her mother and friends to their school, but appearances need to be kept up, which meant faking it in as a thirteen year old girl.
Book bag in hand, Chibi walked along the sidewalk while admiring the beautiful day, when somebody stepped out in front of her. Somebody she knew. Somebody with menacing blue eyes and red locks of hair.
"BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH—MMmf!"
No sooner had the laughter erupted from her lips, that a hand slapped across her mouth which in turn was accompanied by a fairly annoyed look. The best Chibi could do was blink in surprise before she was whisked into the redheads' arms and suddenly found herself on a nearby rooftop seconds later... Specifically, the very edge of the rooftop.
Chibi Usa glanced down at the ground nervously. It didn't help she was a good eight stories up. "Um, uh... What can I do for you, uh, Yumei?"
Ranma's eyes narrowed sharply on the girl. "You know who I am."
"Uh.. heheh.. Yeah?"
The redhead stepped forward, glowering. "My name."
Chibi Usa bit her lip nervously. "Ranma Saotome?"
Ranma nodded. "Now how do you know that name?"
"Um, I'm from the future?" The pink haired girl produced a weak grin.
"Wrong answer." Ranma stuck out a finger and poked Chibi, sending her off balance ever so slightly. Her curls bounced around as she flailed to regain her balance on the ledge. "You know stuff about me. Specific stuff. How?"
The girl regained her balance and gaped at the redhead with wide eyes. "Ican'tsaypleasedon'thurtmeIwasonlyhavingfunIcan'ttellyouyet!"
Ranma arched an eyebrow skeptically as Chibi nearly lapsed into sobs. "Alright! Alright!" Damn my weakness for womanly sobbing, Ranma thought with a sigh as Chibi seemed to regain some semblance of composure. "Ok then... Lets talk about the dreams I've been having."
"I really shouldn't..."
Poke.
"Eeeeek!" Chibi squealed as she teetered on the ledge of the building once more.
Ranma withdrew the finger. "I really want to know about the dreams." There was no mistaking the tone of her voice. It wasn't a request she was making.
"Ok! Ok!" Chibi Usa was on the verge of hyperventilation, her eyes fixed on the sidewalk below. "It's the sword!"
Ranma blinked. "The sword?"
"You made a wish!" Small Lady supplied quickly, fearing yet another poke. "The sword is fulfilling that wish quite literally!"
Ranma considered this new information and swore beneath her breath. "Dammit, I don't wanna know the life and time of Setsuna Meiou! I don't want to know she kicked dictator ass and I sure as hell don't want to know anything about her love life!" The redhead shivered as she remembered the pleasure quite vividly. It hadn't been with just one partner, and it sure as hell wasn't helping that she was wearing her girl body at the moment. One thing was for certain, however... After a few centuries of practice, saying that she was skilled was an understatement. Ranma growled and shook the memories away. She had been battling them all morning, and fortunately for her, there was an equal number of unpleasant memories to draw from... Like the unending, nearly insurmountable loneliness of her post.
Ranma pulled her from the ledge, bringing Chibi nose to nose. "More. I want more information about what's happening."
"I caaaaan't!" Chibi nearly whined, grating against Ranma's nerves and sympathy.
"Why not?"
"Don't make me mess up the future, please Uncle Ranma!" Now she was whining and Ranma let her go on reflex. Damn the crying! "If I tell you too much, it'll change things!"
The words 'Uncle Ranma' all but begged to be explained, but Ranma passed on it in a sheer act of will power. Her life was already bad enough. The last thing she wanted to do was screw up the future as well. "Alright, alright. Stop yer cryin'. I won't ask. Just stop teasin' me, kay?"
The tears evaporated instantly "Thank you, Uncle!" Ranma endured the crushing hug, thankful that it wasn't yet another fiancée glomp.
Ranma sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Off to school with you." With that, she stepped off the roof and disappeared from the ledge.
Chibi stood there for a moment, recovering when sudden realization hit her...
...Like how in the world was she suppose to get down?
Ranma gave himself a final check before stepping onto the dojo property, ensuring there was no Sailor paraphernalia remaining on his person before twisting the doorknob and admitting himself back into the chaotic roller coaster known as his regular life. The Saotome mentally congratulated himself. He had gone an entire day without a Setsuna retaliatory event. Sure, there was the standard fare with the fiancées that she had already set in motion, but nothing new. The only thing he could glean from this was that his own countermeasures were working as advertised. Ranma was getting to know his opponent intimately- he cringed at the sudden mental picture. Bad choice of wording -and knew how smart she was. Set-chan had to know it by now which meant things would likely be coming to a head sometime in the near future.
The martial artist smiled. He was itching for a direct confrontation, as opposed to all this sneakin' around. But by the time he was done with her, she would be more than willing to stop sulking in the shadows. Ranma stepped into the house and clutched the only remaining piece of Sailor paraphernalia on her person, a paper square.
"Hey Kas-chan! Catch!" Ranma flipped the small square through the air at Kasumi, who had just set down a dinner plate. A delicate arm snapped up, catching the the square in midair, a testament to her father's original conditioning of his daughters. Kasumi blinked and looked at her catch. Eyes widened. A jaw dropped. Nabiki watched the reaction from across the room and walked over to Ranma. Kasumi was still frozen, but a slight 'mewing' could be heard from her person.
"You broke my sister, Ranma." Nabiki stared with increasing wonder at the reaction. Kasumi's eyes were still locked unflinchingly on the square, mouth hanging open. She stepped over to the entranced girl and looked at the find herself. It was a photo with writing scrawled across it. "To Kasumi, a sister of love and justice..." Nabiki blinked. "Love, Sailor Moon?"
"OH MY!" Kasumi exclaimed in a most un-Kasumi like squeal. She hopped around the table with more energy than anybody had seen in years, and Ranma was crushed for the second time that day. "Thank you, Ran-chan!" Two kisses landed themselves on each of Ranma's cheeks and she pulled back to stare at the glossy photo once more. "How in the world did you get this?"
"Oh, I have my secrets." Ranma grinned and Nabiki was instantly at his side.
"Not from me, you don't." An hand latched onto Ranma's arm and Nabiki proceeded to drag the pigtailed boy upstairs and into her room. The door slammed shut and clicked with the lock. "Spill it, Ranma. I want your source. Ranma?" It took her a moment to notice that Ranma was now completely frozen his reactions similar to Kasumi's as he took slow stock of Nabiki's room. "What, haven't you ever seen of Prince R?"
Ranma had seen Prince R before. He had just never seen Prince R in such... quantity. It was like he had entered the twilight zone and that twilight zone was inhabited by parodies of himself, who happened to be the boy-toy idol of Nabiki Tendo. It was even creepier than Akane's room. "Uh, heh... You're a Prince R fan?"
"No, I just have his pictures up her because they match my bedsheets." Nabiki replied testily. "Unlike you, he's suave and sophisticated... And a total hunk." Nabiki smiled dreamily for a brief moment, before it was submerged below her game face. "Where'd you get the autograph, Saotome?"
"Can't tell ya." His eyes flicked from wall to wall.
"I'm sure you could if I told certain people about your cross dressing habits." Nabiki countered, applying pressure.
"Nope." Ranma crossed his arms, affecting a cool demeanor. Truth was that he was sweating bullets on the inside.
Nabiki cast a icy glare at him. It was worth a try. Besides, everybody already knew she occasionally blackmailed him into dress-up photo shoots anyway. It was a weak threat at best. "Ok then, how about a deal then?"
"Deal?" Ranma asked warily, not all that happy at the prospect of shaking hands with the devil's accountant again.
"Sure." Nabiki smiled. A shark couldn't have done better. "You can work off your debt by providing me with autographs." Ranma winced. "And a bonus if you can get me a Prince R autograph."
The pigtailed boy rubbed his head and groaned. This was not happening...
Yumei Ikari-Ranma smiled as she joined her sisters in arms, the Sailor Senshi for the night meeting. Well, most of them were sisters in arms. Haruka and Michiru weren't on speaking terms with her... Or each other, ironically. Both women sat on opposite sides of the room, glaring at each other. Yumei-Ranma could barely suppress a smile. As amusing as the little cold war was, there was something that amused her even more...
Setsuna Meiou sat off to the side, trying her best to look calm and collected, which might have fooled the average person. Unfortunately, she wasn't around average people and Ranma noted the difference straight away. While her condition wasn't nearly as bad as the Senshi's last meeting, the results of Ranma's handiwork were showing in that her normally meticulously styled green hair was frazzled. The bags under her eyes told the story as well. Even her dress was more conservative in nature. Yumei Ranma wasn't much better from Setsuna's attentions, but unlike her, she floated on the high of payback as Ami called the meeting to order.
The cobalt blue haired girl glanced nervously at the Outers as she coughed politely, gaining everybody's undivided attention. "I've been able to analyze the data from the other Mercury Link." The Senshi watched intently as she set her link to the Mercury super computer on room's central table. She pressed a small button and the unit's holographic display came to life, the air above it shimmering into the visage of a long wire frame tube that flared open at both ends. "This is a model of the wormhole the youma are using to gain access to our universe. The different colors represent the numerous subspace bands the hole drops through before exiting the other side."
"You would know all about the other side, wouldn't you, Haruka?" Michiru's glare bore down on the Senshi of Uranus who's eyes widened at the implication.
"I had nothing to do with that!" Haruka protested. "He kissed me!"
Sailor Neptune crushed a pillow on the couch she sat. "I didn't exactly see you resist, hmm?" Haruka's jaw dropped.
"Now listen here!"
"He is quite a catch, 'Ruka-chan." Yumei added with a sweet smile, which earned a withering glare from the Senshi. Not that she had time to follow up on it.
"Damn straight!" Minako piped up in a mixture of awe and venom. "And damned if we'll let you take the first straight hottie to come along in ages!" Some of the other Inners nodded in agreement. Yumei's smile broadened.
"Yes, I'm sure he won't mind you warming his bed tonight," Michiru stated with considerable frost. "Because it sure won't be mine."
"Um, guys...?" Ami attempted to break the angst. "About the wormhole?"
"It's obviously already been taken care of." Michiru grumbled, staring straight at Haruka.
"WHAT WAS THAT!" Haruka stood up, stalking over to the person who was rapidly becoming her ex-girlfriend.
"I think you know exactly what--"
"ENOUGH!"
Setsuna's delicate china cup full of tea hit the end table with enough force to put crack in it. "I have had a very bad week and the last thing I need from you children is to be bickering over that asinine pervert Prince R, let alone watching you draw straws as to who gets to screw him!"
It was an even better emotional breakdown than Yumei-Ranma ever could have hoped for in front of the Senshi, and she desperately fought off the maniacal cackling that would have normally accompanied her victory. As it was, she would just have to settle for the stares and massive rounds of sweatdrops rolling off the heads of the remaining Sailors. The Uranus-Neptune cold war was icing on the cake.
"Uh, right." Ami commented, scratching her head with embarrassment. "The different subspace bands are what would prevented us from forcing our own entry into the pocket universe, but now that we've been able to map out an open portal, we can duplicate the route in ourselves."
"Ok, so we can get in now..." Usagi observed, and Ranma followed up on her unspoken question.
"...but what's on the other side?"
"This." Ami tapped another key, the rainbow colored tube was replaced by a large bubble with what appeared to be a floating island taking up most of its volume. The hologram rotated slowly and zoomed in on the island.
"An island?" Hotaru asked quietly, to which Ami nodded.
"Exactly. The island itself takes up roughly half the pocket universe, but that's not the interesting part." Ami explained as the hologram continued to zoom. Seconds later, structures could be seen on the island surface. At it's center was a large spiky ball, whose incandescent rainbow coloration stood out from the rest of the structures.
"Why aren't I gonna like the interesting part?" Rei grumbled, and Setsuna stepped forward.
"Because what you are looking at is a leftover." Pluto stated in a matter of fact tone, credibly covering her earlier lapse.
"Leftover?" Makoto mimed skeptically. Yumei and half the other sailors shared that skepticism. Ranma had seen leftovers. Normally they weren't stored in a pocket universe. Nor did they produce soul eating demons. Well, unless it was Akane's cooking, the martial artist-turned-Senshi ammended. That stuff was capable of anything.
"Leftovers." Setsuna confirmed. "From the data we've obtained, this facility was built by our dearly departed friend, Mistress 9." Her voice was heavily laden with sarcasm.
"Gone, but not forgotten." Moon commented dryly, and Ami continued for Pluto.
"It looks to be a giant manufacturing complex," She reported as the hologram cruised above the surface of the island, focusing on the buildings. "And from what has been coming through the portholes, a giant youma manufacturing complex."
"You've got to be kidding..."Minako breathed. Ami nodded.
"From what we've seen so far, I think it's safe to assume their primary export is youma." Ami continued. "Big youma, small youma, super youma..."
"Youma chicken, stir fried youma, youma steak..." Yumei dead-panned, counting the dishes off on her fingers.
"Uh, yeah. Pretty much." Ami said with indifference, while the rest of the Senshi looked at the redhead with slight incredulity. "Pluto and I pretty much agree it's still in the first stage of activation, since the volume of demons coming through has been steadily increasing."
"Nine is still alive?" Hotaru whispered, to which Usagi put a comforting hand on her shoulder. The Senshi of Saturn had good reason to be worried. Mistress 9 and in turn Pharaoh 90 had made the girls' life a living hell.
"Not a chance." Pluto waved the possibility aside. "Her time line is dead. Check it out myself. This..." She gestured to the hologram. "is a contingency."
Ami picked up on the blank looks and explained. "We believe that Mistress 9 had other projects in the works should her primary plans using Pharaoh 90 fail. As it is, we believe the complex was programmed to go live pending direct orders or..."
"...her death." Haruka finished, and both Ami and Setsuna nodded.
"Scorched earth." Yumei stated, earning another round of nods.
"That's what we were thinking." Ami replied.
"It gets worse."
All eyes shifted back to Setsuna. "You've undoubtedly noticed this..." She gestured to the spiky orb at the island's center. The mercury link interpreted the movement, and zoomed in on the structure. "This just happens to be the the power source of the pocket universe."
"We aren't going to like this, are we?" Chibi Usa realized quietly, speaking for the first time.
"Unfortunately, no." Ami replied. "It's a reactor. A reactor comprised of entirely pure heart crystals."
The room let loose a collective gasp. "How many...?" Usagi asked in a hushed whisper.
"Approximately eight thousand." Ami replied in a similarly hushed voice.
Usagi's reaction was totally unexpected. "WHERE THE HELL DID SHE GET THEM ALL!" The future Princess was on her feet now, gaping at the hologram, then turned to Setsuna. "I thought we were successful in preventing these sort of incursions! What the hell have we been doing all this time!"
Pluto understood her reaction all to well. The loss of life that reactor represented was simply... staggering. After all, you had to go through a lot of people to find just one pure heart crystal, let alone..."I've done some... research, you Highness." For some reason it seemed more appropriate to call Usagi by her official title given the gravity of the situation. "There was no way we could have covered all the bases. Europe. The United States. South America. She was... careful."
The Princess continued staring. "So what do we do about it...?" Rei asked in a hushed voice.
"Simple. We take it out." Yumei-Ranma stated, an edge of steel accompanying her proclamation. Even through the act she had been engaged in, there was no way she could ignore her code, and mass murder demanded decisive action.
"Oh?" Haruka raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And just how do you propose we do that? Can't exactly glass the place from the inside, remember?"
"Actually, that's exactly what we were planning on doing." Attention turned back to Ami. "Setsuna managed to locate a stash of weaponry sealed in stasis... It's contents include a few boxes of small arms, some power armor- weaker than our suits -a few plasma artillery pieces and..." She paused, her eyes shifting nervously, "...one tactical Elerium warhead."
"You mean we have a nuke?" Sailor Venus squealed.
"Would have loved to have found that sooner..." Moon growled, a sentiment most of the Senshi shared. None of them could count the number of time when they would have loved to have stuffed an original honest-to-god Moon Kingdom weapon of mass destruction down one of their opponents throats. It would have shortened so many disagreements.
"Well, we have it now." Pluto pointed out, to which Usagi only nodded. "Still, it's not going to be as easy as setting a timer and shoving it through the wormhole. If we want to destroy everything, we have to destroy the PHC reactor."
"Which is protected by an extremely powerful energy shield." Ami added and the Mercury link added a transparent bubble around the reactor to the hologram. Some of her audience groaned. She couldn't blame them. It was about to get even better. "Which means... we have to go in, drop the shield, plant the bomb and get out before the timer runs down. A Death Reborn at point-blank range should do the trick."
"Through a universe full of super-youma, right?" Michiru commented with something less than a question.
"So where is this nuke?" Yumei asked casually, setting her glass of tea on the table after a sip.
"Under the table." Pluto comment just as casually, and Yumei's eyes widened. She pulled the cup back very slowly. Ami stepped over and removed the Mercury link from the surface, folding it up with a light click. She pulled the lacy table clothe up and there it was, plain as day under the table's glass surface. The weapon was about the size of a backpack and the shape of a smooth silver oval.
"Smaller than I was expecting." Haruka observed, and Ami nodded.
"That represents approximately one gigaton's worth of fire-power." The cobalt haired Senshi elaborated. "Twenty grams of Elerium 115, no radioactive bi-products. It'll wipe out everything in the pocket universe, provided we take the shield out first."
"I still can't believe the Moon Kingdom had this sort of firepower..." Makoto breathed, eyeing the silver weapon nervously.
"Had em and used em." Yumei-Ranma interjected, drawing on Setsuna's memories of the Kingdom's last stand involuntarily. "Got really nasty toward the end." Pluto nodded with agreement as the exact same images were conjured within her mind's eye as well. Apparently their memories were still more complete than the rest of the Senshi. A look passed between the two, and for the briefest moment, total comprehension existed between the two women. They had both seen the bloody end of an era, and it hadn't been a pleasant experience.
"How does it work?" Usagi asked, leaning over the device.
"Voice activated." Ami replied. "Simply feed it the armament codes and set a timer, that easy." The girls looked at each other expectantly. After a minute, Ami spoke first. "You do have the codes, don't you?"
Moon blinked. "Why would I have the codes! I'm a princess, not a queen or a general!" She turned to Pluto with the same expectant look.
"Don't look at me." She held up her hands. "Not to worry, however. The cats will have them."
Yumei's eyes widened suddenly. "Artemis, Luna...?" Usagi called, and the two cats padded into the room. The redhead otherwise known as Sailor Nova watched the cats cross the room, then pause. Their eyes turned on her.
"I don't believe we've been introduced," The black cat said politely, hopping up on the table in front Yumei. "I'm Luna and this is Artemis." The white cat followed, inclining his head gracefully.
"Of course, we know who you are." Artemis stated, smiling. "We were under the impression that none of the Queen's Own made it forward. Do you remember us?"
Oh, Yumei-Ranma remembered them alright. She only had Setsuna's memories stuffed into her head sideways, and with them, the knowledge of Queen Serenity's advisers. There was, of course, only one problem with this equation. They were cat advisers. Anybody who knew Ranma Saotome could have predicted her next response with absolute clarity.
Yumei sat frozen, fear pooling in her eyes. "Maybe she doesn't remember us..." Luna commented, leaning forward with interest. Another minute of silence ground by.
"Um, Yumei?" Usagi nudged her body guard, slightly concerned by her frozen state. She was looking for a reaction, and unfortunately got one.
"Cu...Cu...Cu..." Yumei began to stutter, eyes locked onto the felines.
"Starts with a 'C'?" Makoto queried cheerfully.
"How many vowels?" Rei inquired.
"Is it bigger than a pound of butter?" Minako asked, and suddenly found all eyes on her. "What?"
All eyes, except Yumei's, of course. "Cu... Cu... CATS!" She burst and attention promptly returned to her as she backed up on to the couch she had sat at. Her tea cup fell to the floor and both felines winced at the proclamation. "Talking Cats!" The redhead amended in horror, as if it were somehow relevant to the terror coursing through her brain.
"Uh, yes?" Luna confirmed the fact that they were indeed cats.
"DAMN CATS!" Ranma bolted upright as some unseen gears shifted in her brain, diluting the mixture of fear with a healthy dose of hate. The cats in question were now backing up.
"You don't suppose she's still angry about that prank we pulled on the guards that night when..." Artemis commented as he slowly backed away.
Luna's whiskers twitched as she mirrored his movements. "God, I hope not..."
The fact that they were talking cats was perhapses the only thing that kept Ranma rooted in place and not running for the hills. Unfortunately, the irrational fear was quickly being replaced by another emotion altogether as she stepped of the couch, stalking the retreating advisers. "I HATE cats!" The other Senshi began to back away as the redhead's temper spiraled out of control. They had all seen what she could do and weren't looking for any piece of it.
All but two of them.
Moon attached a light hand onto Yumei's shoulder in an attempt to restrain her friend. "Um, they're Moon Kingdom advisers, Yumei-chan! They're nice, honest!"
Yumei-Ranma turned on Usagi suddenly, and the blond found her captured in the redhead's incandescent gaze. "No they're not! They're CATS!" She hissed and Usagi's eyes widened. "They say they're your friends, but they're not! One minute you're petting them and the next you'll find yourself wrapped in fish sausage and served up for dinner!"
"Wrapped in..." Setsuna's attention suddenly focused.
"Scheming, maniacal, diabolical CATS!" Ranma confirmed, whipping back around to the cats in question. The ghostly blue visages of ki blades formed along Yumei's knuckles, rippling to life. "Ain't no cats gonna serve me for dinner again!"
"What the hell are those!" Haruka stared incredulously at the energy weapons forming at the girl's hands.
"Usagi, step away from her." Setsuna ordered and transformed without the usual stylistic flare. The action surprised the princess enough that she did step away from the redhead, who continued to advance on Artemis and Luna.
Makoto interposed herself between Yumei and the cornered cats. "Now look, Yumei, i'm not so sure..."
"Dead Scream."
The line of energy flashed across the room and hit Yumei dead on, blowing her into and through several interior walls before exiting the building entirely. The other girls simply stared in disbelief as Sailor Pluto completed the attack and calmly stepped through the smoldering hole she had just created and into the outside air. Usagi was right on her heels.
"Why in the world did you do that?" She yelled, unable to believe such an escalation had taken place. Sure, Yumei could rub people the wrong way, but... "I'm sure we could have--"
"'Yumei' is not who she seems." Pluto stated with a demeanor that hovered just above sub-zero temperatures. She stepped over the burning remains of a couch and into the outside air. A trench smoking rubble indicated the redhead's departure vector. "He's been playing us all this time!"
"He?" The rest of the Senshi were recovering from the sudden shock, filtering outside to watch the impending fight. Ami's face was similar to that of Moon's. "What are you talking about! You didn't have to--"
Pluto paused in her advance down the smoldering trench. "Yumei Ikari is actually Ranma Saotome, one of the largest chaos generators I have ever encountered." She explained without turning around. The Senshi scanned the trench for her victim. "If Crystal Tokyo is to survive, he's going to have to be eliminated."
Usagi's thought process was suddenly racing, Yumei's warning jumping like lightening through her brain. "But can't we--"
"No." Setsuna replied tersely, cutting off the princess mid-sentence. "You don't realize how dangerous this person is. We can't risk having a loose cannon like him running around."
"And who made you judge, jury and executioner again?" A female voice asked from the smoke. A glowing redhead stepped out of the charred, black trench, ready for war.
"Queen Serenity." Setsuna replied, her voice devoid of emotion.
"Oh that's right, Miss 'fifth in line to the throne of Pluto'" Ranma commented sarcastically, wiping a trickle of blood from her lip. "But I don't recall mass murder being part of her agenda."
Pluto blinked. The girl shouldn't have known that.
"What?" Usagi yelped in horror. Her eyes went from Pluto to Ranma and back.
"I've only done whatever was necessary to protect Crystal Tokyo." Sailor Pluto replied. "You, on the other hand, are not only a force that may destroy it, but you've betrayed every person here."
Moon was beginning to feel like her head was on a swivel as she stared back at Ranma now. "Is that true?"
Ranma's glow faded slightly. "Yeah it is. Ya deserve the truth I guess." The redhead retrieved her thermos from weapons space and uncapped it. "My real name is Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts." As if to punctuated the fact, Ranma upturned the thermos over her head and produced a black-haired boy with blue eyes.
"You've gotta be kidding..." Rei breathed softly. "He's a hunk!"
Makoto blinked. "He's a Starlight?"
"He's Prince R!" Minako proclaimed, stars in her eyes.
"He's Prince R!" Michiru and Haruka gasped simultaneously.
"Oh God, my head hurts." Ami moaned while Chibi unsuccessfully suppressed a giggle.
"But... Why?" Usagi asked as the group's sudden realizations began to dog pile her.
"Ask her why." The glow around the now male Ranma increased in intensity. "Ask her why she's made the last three years of my life a living hell. Ask her why I had to put us through all this just force a confrontation!"
"Because you'll destroy everything I worked so damn hard for!" Setsuna's screamed as she blew her top. "DEAD SCREAM!"
This time Ranma was ready for it, and slid out sideways to avoid the lethal ray of energy. If he hadn't been moving so fast, the Sailors would have notice a hard-edged smile. Finally, it was time to end this farce and her meddling. Ranma cut in and delivered three hard kicks to Setsuna's midsection, followed by a roundhouse to the head. The Senshi's fuku armor did it's job and absorbed most of the impact before the ki blast hit seconds later at point blank range.
"Möko Takabisha!"
The blast impacted Setsuna hard, blasting her back into the section of temple they had just exited. Like Ranma before, she tore a hole through the walls and suddenly found herself in the shrine courtyard. Sailor Pluto shook it off and looked up just in time to find Ranma airborne above, twisting into what was sure to be devastating combo.
"Space Sword Blaster!" Ranma had just enough time to perform an aerial twist and avoid the inbound blade of light that sliced past him. He landed off target and Setsuna rolled out, recovering into a guarded stance beside a transformed Sailor Uranus.
"Neptune planet power, make up!" Michiru's sea green hair floated in the air as her transformation processed. The light show faded and Sailor Neptune stepped up beside Pluto and Uranus. "I think a little bit of payback is in order, don't you, hun?"
"Definitely." Sailor Uranus growled. The joke had been on them, and they weren't happy campers at the moment.
"Three against one!" Minako whined as the trio readied their next assault. "I'm won't let you hurt the cutie! Venus power, make up!"
"Same here!" Rei yelled. "Mars power, make up!"
A sweat drop rolled off the side of Ranma's head as the two Inners took up flanking positions at her back.
"You've got to be kidding..." Ami groaned, rubbing her temples once more.
"Do something, Moon!" Hotaru called to the blond, who stood dumbfounded with Makoto. Chibi Usa cackled from the sidelines.
Ranma glanced at his escort. "No offense, but this is between me and her." Pluto's gaze narrowed on the martial artist, and she nodded at her Outers, who in turn took a step back. This was a private vendetta.
"Chronos Typhoon!" The Time Key twirled in her hands and a gust of lethal wind blew forth as Setsuna took the offensive. Ranma was already in the air and over the attack, twisting into another devastating aerial combo that promised to hurt if it connected. Setsuna wasn't about to let that happen. She concentrated and local time slowed around her. She side-stepped his landing and renewed her own offensive with the staff, whipping it through a graceful attack that could only be obtain through centuries of practice. To everybody else, the Senshi seemed to suddenly speed up and to anybody else, the technique might have proved decisive. To Ranma Saotome, however, she was finally a challenge. The pigtailed boy avoided a few more arcs when suddenly Setsuna's staff bit hard against a solid object, sparks shattering down it's length.
The the Staff of Time just met the Staff of Ascension.
Pluto pulled back suddenly in the face of the lethal new threat. "Forgot about this, huh?" Ranma smirked, twirling his own weapon around now. The two circled one another menacingly."Stop screwin' with my life and you can walk away with all yer bones unbroken."
"You're the one who won't be walking away, Saotome." Setsuna growled and dropped back into a fighting stance.
"ENOUGH!"
Ranma and Setsuna paused in their initial lunge as the enraged female voice rolled over them, both removing their eyes from one another ever so carefully to find the source. Across from them stood Sailor Moon, fully transformed and totally pissed. Silver Millennium power washed over both combatants, ensuring their undivided attention.
"Sailor Pluto, you will stop this nonsense right now!" The furious girl ordered in a tone that could not dare be disputed and it was one of those rare moments when there was no question as to whose daughter she was. "I don't know what all you've been doing to keep Crystal Tokyo going, but it doesn't sound befitting a soldier of love and justice! From now on, any decisions you make go through me first, do you understand!" Setsuna nodded involuntarily. "And as for you, Yumei, Ranma or whatever your name is... I don't appreciate being deceived and manipulated!" Ranma began to protest weakly only to cut off. "No, hush! Now after what we've been through, I have to wonder if you really are our ally!" The smoldering glare that swept across their persons would have been enough to reduce them to cinders outright if it had actual substance. "Now both of you will stop fighting and apologize to each other!"
They both stared at Moon in disbelief.
"Apologize..?" Setsuna gasped.
"To her!" Ranma twitched.
"NOW!" Sailor Moon growled, a slight glow of menacing power accompanying the order.
Ranma looked at the black fuku clad women standing across from him. He ground his teeth down. "Sorry."
"Yeah. Sorry." Pluto replied, her tone equally forced. Neither of their faces said they were sorry.
"Better." Moon frowned. "I'll deal with you both later." both Setsuna and Ranma shivered at the thought. The bumbling blond apparently could be quite the disaplinarian when nessisary. "For now, we have better things to fight than each other."
"Um, about that..." Ami said tentatively, not exactly eager to earn the ire of her Princess at the moment.
"Hmm?" Usagi arched an eyebrow.
"The Mercury Computer is saying that at our current force levels, we only have a 32.8 percent chance of success." She replied softly.
"Damn." Usagi whispered. It was a sentiment shared by everybody present. "Not that we have much of a choice."
Ranma stared at the group in front of him. In the past month he had infiltrated them, manipulated them and outright lied to them, all in the name of payback. Yet somehow they had become his friends, he realized. I may not be Sailor Nova anymore, Ranma thought to himself, but that doesn't really change a thing. There was his code as a martial artist to consider and he'd be damned if he'd let them go in alone, screw the odds.
"How long until we go?"
A small smile crept to Usagi's face. All eyes turned on Ami. "I can have the exact path into the pocket universe nailed down within the week, say, Friday."
Ranma nodded and hopped up to the shrine's rooftop. "Where you going?" Pluto asked, a small measure of hostility leaking into her voice.
The martial artist turned his back on the Senshi below. "To call in some favors."
Friday morning. The dew was still standing on the grass as the Senshi waited for their adopted twelth team member. The suns' rays crept over the shrine walls while monks went about their business, all but oblivious to the Sailor's business.
"He ditched us." Haruka stated in a grumpy tone. "Might as well leave without him."
"Ranma will be here." Pluto replied, earning her a skeptical look. "I may not like him, but if there is one thing I do know about him, it's that he always keeps his word. It's one of the things that makes Saotome so damn dangerous."
"Damn right."
The new voice drew the sailors attention, and they found its owner balanced lightly on the outer shrine wall, wielding the Staff of Ascension. Beside Ranma was a boy of approximately the same type, clad in a faded yellow tunic and matching tiger striped bandanna. To his left, an ancient looking woman balanced on a staff who nodded graciously at the Senshi, flanked by a younger woman and her scimitar. Her long purple hair floated in the morning in the breeze. On the elders opposite side was a white robed young man sporting coke bottle thick glasses. To Ranma's left stood a girl with long, dark pink hair who "meowed" a greeting. The blue and white school uniform and fangs were her distinctive features.
"Who the hell are they?" Michiru wondered somewhat sarcastically. An "Oh shit" from Pluto was her reply.
"Ranma?" Moon left the question hand, earning her a lopsided grin.
"Ladies, I'd like to present to you the Nerima Wrecking Crew."
Authors notes;
As you can see, I've been steadily winding up the tension here as more plot comes to bear. I know this has been a funny pissing match from the beginning, but I've also intended there to be a point to it all from the beginning as well. Hope everybody can hang with my writing style, as you've been a great audience so far. Two more parts to go.
Elerium-115; An element that, when bombarded by certain particles, produces graviton waves and large amounts of energy. It is not found naturally on Earth.
Ukyo, Akane; These
two weren't included in the final scene as I don't consider them major
players, especially when confronted with a universe of super youma.
Even if they somehow were powerful enough, I judge that neither has the
killer instinct nessisary to be a credible force in the coming
engagement.I've heard arguments for and against, and am rolling with this one.
Special Thanx to Delta-Theta, my part-time Sailor-Moon database, TriMatter and the FukuFics crew, as always.
Assault on the Wormhole begins.
Changes: v2- bouquet correctly spelled, scottish claymore repositioned, further ANs added, the 'dark pink haired girl's' ID clarified.