Sup again everyone. I have always wondered where Invader Zim takes place. On the episode, Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars, the map shows the origin of the signal from the northeast region of the United States. For my convenience, I'm going to say it's in northwest Ohio…because that's where I live. Heh-heh-heh. If you actually do know where they live, then tell me. TELL ME.
Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Growls
Zim's New Slave
By Sanoon
Chapter 4: Day of Insanity
It was another rainy, storming day on the South Jersey Shore. The large, blank castle that housed the maniacal madman named Dr. Weird was, as always, dark and gloomy.
"Yeah, yeah dog, seven, seven, eleven," Dr. Weird said into his cell phone, with a hat backwards on his hair helmet.
"Ahh, Dr. Weird," Steve said, holding his vial of strange fluid. "Dr. Weird, are we doing anything today?"
"Shut the fuck up Steve!" Dr. Weird shouted. "I'm talking to Snoop Dog!"
"Whatever," Steve said turning around to face the door. "I'm leaving."
"Hey, who's the asshole that crashed this ship and woke me up?" Came a voice from the bushes. Zim looked up from the rock he was supporting himself on, and saw another strange sight.
Standing next to the bushes was a small human figure, about ten inches tall. The human seemed to be made out of plastic, and he was wearing pink glitter shoes. He was shirt-less, and he seemed to have some scars on his side.
"Did you idiots hear what I said?" The small doll questioned. "Wait…Meatwad. What the hell! Are you here to finish the job?"
"Ahh, who are you?" Meatwad asked, completely unaware of the identity of the figure before him.
"Don't you remember?" The doll asked. Meatwad tried to remember, but he couldn't think of anyone who matched his description. "You don't remember. Happy Time Harry?"
"Ohh yea, I remember now…wait…you're dead…or immortal," Meatwad said with surprise. "Which one is it?"
"Neither, actually, when that asshole…Shake…chucked me off of that cliff, I landed in a small stream." Happy Time Harry said calmly.
"Chunk of meat," Zim said, still holding onto the rock, "Who…or what, is this? Tell Ziiiiim."
"Oh yeah, dis boy here was my doll." Meatwad said. "He's pretty dark."
"I was just standing here, waiting to die," Happy Time Harry said calmly. "Do you have a problem with that?" As Happy Time Harry said that, he revealed to Zim and GIR his switchblade…hand. Zim eyed the doll with curiosity, confusement, and annoyance. "'Cause if you do, then we'll go right now."
"Heeeyyyy," GIR said walking over to Happy Time Harry. "Wanna play with my piggyyyyy." GIR pulled out a pig from his head compartment, and showed it to Happy Time Harry. During this, Meatwad rolled over to the Voot Runner, and grabbed Dewey, Vanessa, and Boxy brown out of the ship. He put them somewhere where he thought would be safe. Behind a rock.
"Unless you want bacon for dinner, you'll put that pig away," Happy Time Harry said while pointing his knife at GIR.
GIR put the piggy back into the safety of his head and slowly backed away from Happy Time Harry, as Zim said to himself, "Time to leave this FILTHY place." He turned to Meatwad and GIR as they kept their distance from Happy Time Harry, and said to them, "GIR, meat filth, lets go. We must leave this DIRT place. We have a long way to go before we reach the base."
"What about the destroyed magic flying thing," Meatwad said to Zim, pointing to the Voot Runner wreckage.
"Yes, yes, the wreckage," Zim said, rubbing his chin. "We can't leave it here, but we can't drag it back. We'll have to destroy it."
GIR threw his arms into the air screaming in joy. Meatwad, after seeing GIR's happy reaction to this, smiled and laughed. "Hey," Happy Time Harry said, trying to get everyone's attention. Despite his great charm, no one paid any attention to him.
"Hey, camp lord, hey, hey, hey, camp lord, hey, hey, hey, hey, camp lord, hey," Meatwad said quickly, trying to get Zim's attention.
"WHAT?" Zim yelled, clenching his fists.
"You…you should throw Happy Time Harry in…in da wreckage…before you blow it up," Meatad said, pointing to Happy Time Harry.
Happy Time Harry walked up to the three, and said, "You probably don't have the guts to blow me up." Happy Time Harry walked over to the wreckage and jumped in the cockpit. "Do you have what it takes, do you? You think you can do it? C'mon, do it!"
Zim stared at the strange doll. He raised an invisible eyebrow at him, and pulled out a small item from his PAK. "Okay," he muttered as he pressed the Voot Runner's self-destruct button. Zim jumped behind the rock, and GIR followed. Meatwad looked at Happy Time Harry, and then followed Zim and GIR behind the rock.
In a flash of light, the wrecked Voot Runner exploded into hundreds of pieces. Shrapnel destroyed almost everything surrounding the small craft, including the exposed side of the rock that the three were hiding behind. Zim was the first to stick his head up when the noise stopped. He immediately frowned at what he saw. Most of the wreckage was eliminated, but there were still pieces left. Any human that came wondering by could easily see the Irken rubble. And if that wasn't bad enough, there was smoke rising from the still remaining pieces. Meatwad and GIR moved away from the rock. They started messing with the remaining pieces. Throwing them around and such. "Ahh well, it's not like any of these…stupid humans would know what any of it is."
Zim looked around, his mind deep in thought. 'We're still hundreds, if not thousands of miles away from our home, and now my INCREDIBLE Voot Runner is gone,' Zim thought to himself. 'All thanks to that…MEAT…THING. He'd better be worth it.'
"Master," GIR said, walking over to Zim. Zim woke from his thoughts, and looked at his servant. He was covered in parts from the Voot Runner.
"What is it GIR," Zim said unenthusiastically. "Can't you see that ZIM is thinking?"
"Weeeellll," GIR said, "I…"
"Just say it GIR," Zim said, annoyed.
After a short pause, GIR slowly said, "I forgot." Zim sighed while GIR started laughing and running around the remaining wreckage. Meatwad rolled up, and smiled at Zim.
"Hey, ya know what would be fun?" Meatwad asked. Zim narrowed his eyes in anger at Meatwad, but he didn't catch on. "If we jumped in the steam over there," Meatwad said, pointing to the stream that was running along the cliff bottom.
"No," Zim said quickly.
"C'mon, this is camp, and we haven't gone swimming once," Meatwad said, somewhat depressed, and edging his way towards the stream.
"No!" Zim said again, resting against a nearby tree. Zim was starting to wonder if this meat thing knew that he was a slave, and not a camper.
Meatwad looked at the ground sadly, but perked up almost immediately as GIR tapped him on the shoulder and shouted, "You're it!" They began running…and rolling…around the forest as they each traded the 'it' status.
Zim looked up at the sky. It's was almost as if the sky was mimicking his mood. The clouds that they were once flying through, were now darkening. A sign of a rainstorm. Zim stared at the clouds for a few seconds before realizing what danger he was in. There was no ship to protect him, and no place nearby that would accept an Irken invader. The treetops would provide little cover from the acid-like rain. A quick thought shot through Zim. "Wait a minute," Zim said quickly, jumping up from the tree that he was resting on. "We're completely exposed."
Zim summoned Gir to his side, and Meatwad followed. Zim started looking franticly for anything that would protect him. A hollow tree, a large rock formation, anything. GIR noticed his master's actions, and started mimicking him. Meatwad, on the other hand, only observed Zim's actions, until he finally asked, "Hey, what are you doin'?"
"GIR," Zim yelled to his servant, ignoring Meatwad's question. "Go find us some cover," Zim ordered to his servant, pointing at a different part of the forest. "Quickly!"
"Yes my lord," GIR replied in a serious tone. GIR looked up, and activated his jump jets. He flew into the air, igniting the treetops as he flew past them.
"Hey, dat dog knows how to fly!" Meatwad said, pointing to the pillar of smoke left by GIR's jets. Zim was growling in frustration at GIR's stupidity. He calmed down long enough to respond to Meatwad's comment.
"Yes, yes, he does," Zim said almost in a bragging way. "But he will give away my ingenious disguise...oh yeah, and our…position…too."
"What disguise?" Meatwad asked. "Cause you're looking all weird with those big red eyes, and that green skin, and those twitchy antenna things you got there. You're freaky as hell."
"ME," Zim said in defense. "You're the wad of meat…WAIT…MY DISGUISE IS GONE!" Zim shouted. He touched his eye, and felt no contacts in them. He then reached up to feel his hair, but instead, he grabbed his antennae. "My contacts…my hair! Where's my disguise!"
"Ohh yea, those things. I found them in da wreckage, or somethin. They were delicious. Do you have any more, cause they didn't fill me?"
"Why…did you eat my hair?" Zim asked, extremely confused.
"Cause it was good, and nutritious, and healthy. Plus, my body need energy, and hair…it's full of that stuff…I think," Meatwad said happily.
GIR, who had removed his dog disguise while in the air, fell out of the sky, bounced off Zim's head, and fell into Meatwad. "AHHHH, my head!" Zim shouted as he rubbed his head.
GIR jumped out of Meatwad with Zim's disguise on. GIR started running around, shouting, "Whooo, look at me! I'm a real boy!"
"GIR!" Zim shouted. "Give me those things!"
GIR stopped running, and took off the contacts and wig, and said, "You gotta dance for 'em."
Zim reached out, but GIR rolled under his legs, and jumped on the back of Zim's head. He put on the wig and contacts on the back of his head, while Zim was shouting for him to get off. "You're a two headed troll," GIR said, sticking his tongue out in joy.
Zim managed to wrestle his disguise out of GIR's hands, and he quickly put them on. "Now GIR," Zim said, calming himself down. "Did you find anywhere we can hide?"
"Ohh yeah," GIR said slowly. "Yes I did."
"Where?" Zim asked.
"I…I CAN"T REMEMBER!" GIR shouted, laughing. Zim made another, depressing sigh.
"Ohh, I know where we can go," Meatwad said. Zim looked at the small disgusting meatball with a small ray of hope. "There's a cave near here. I was once here when Master Shake told me that I could find a magical tree here. He said that the magical tree would give me a 16" thick-crust meat cravers pizza. I was wonderin' out here for three days, and I still didn't find no tree. So then, Frylock came, and-"
"MEAT THING!" Zim shouted, silencing Meatwad. "What about the cave?"
"Ohh yea, I was gettin' to that. It was over there, next to the tree sticking out of the cliff wall, all jagged-like," Meatwad said, pointing over to a portion of the cliff wall that had a tree trunk jammed on it's side. The tree itself curved up towards the sky. "It's right next to the tree," Meatwad said again.
Zim ran up to the tree, and did indeed find a small cave. He ran inside just as it started to rain. GIR and Meatwad quickly followed, with his dolls in hand. "This evil rain has prolonged our journey home," Zim said, reinstating control over his servants. "We'll stay here until…I don't know…it goes away."
"Alright," Carl said walking out of his house. "Lets do this thing."
"It's about time," Dib said, annoyed at how long it took for Carl to take care of the penguins. "Who knows what horrible…evil things Zim has been doing to Meatwad."
"Maybe we can wait a few more minutes," Carl said, laughing.
"I think we should leave now…instead of later," Dib said, rubbing his chin and staring at the sky.
Above the two, a strange, 2-D ship approached them. The small ship entered the atmosphere, and quickly fell towards Carl's house. Dib took noticed almost immediately to the small ship that was heading towards them. He pulled out his camera and started taking pictures of the incoming craft.
"WOW!" Dib exclaimed. "More aliens! This place is…not…normal."
"Don't get your hopes up little man," Carl said, slightly annoyed. "I know these guys."
"You know these aliens?" Dib asked, half happy, half surprised.
"Yeah," Carl said slowly. "They're the biggest assholes next to Shake. They steal and destroy my stuff."
"Why haven't you called the police…or the FBI?" Dib asked.
"They…they stopped, taking my calls…like, long ago," Carl said.
The small ship landed, and two 2-D creatures exited the craft. The larger one, Ignignot, was green, and oddly shaped. The smaller one, Err, was purple, and also oddly shaped. "Hello pathetic humanoids," Ignignot said. "We are your digital rulers. All bow before us."
"Yeah, so bow down losers," Err added.
"Rulers!" Dib shouted. "Not on my watch. You'll never take over the world."
"Ohh, but we will, and we have," Ignignot said.
"Prepare to be enslaved," Err added.
"Listen little man," Carl said. "These two are 'frickin losers from the moon. They don't own crap."
"We could own crap," Ignignot said, "but at the time, we don't feel like it."
"So they're just braggers?" Dib asked.
"I didn't say that," Carl said. "These two will do anything they want, no matter who will get hurt in the process."
"Now, down to the business of your pathetic existence," Ignignot said happily. "Someone said our name, and we need proper retribution for that crime."
"Yeah, so prepare for an ass beatin'," Err added.
"Whoe, ho, ho, ho, hold your horses there," Carl said, waving his hands in front of him. "Before ya go attacking random people, I think you should know, that it was Fry man next door that said your name," Carl said, pointing towards the Frylock's house.
"We're leaving now, to deal with the Fry man, as you call him. But we would not stoop as low as you to call someone by a degrading name," Ignignot said calmly.
"So suck it fatty," Err added.
"We will leave now, but know this," Ignignot said, pointing to Dib. "Your hair is incredibly lame."
"And your heads big too," Err added, laughing.
"My heads not big!" Dib shouted, rubbing his head. "And my hair isn't that bad."
"You keep telling your pathetic self that," Ignignot said, as the two mooninites walked over to Frylock's house, laughing the whole way.
In the distance, Err said while laughing, "F-ing big head."
"What's wrong with them?" Dib asked, confused as to what just happened.
"Don't mind them," Carl said. "They…aren't really…great people."
"I figured," Dib said, a little depressed that even aliens, even if complete assholes, think his head is big.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up over that little thing there," Carl said reassuringly. "They'll die someday…and that's what you have to look forward to."
"I…don't think that…helped," Dib said slowly.
"Whatever," Carl said, "Get in the car. We're leaving."
"Shake!" Frylock shouted as he entered the house. Shake was sitting in the yellowish chair that was sitting in front of the TV.
"Whad'ya want Frylock?" Shake said without looking away from the TV."
"You sold Meatwad as a slave to some alien!" Frylock shouted. "A human would have been one thing, but an alien! You've gone too far this time, Shake!"
Shake turned his attention away from the TV, and looked at Frylock. "I thought you would have realized that by now, I mean, you are the scientist here."
"Shake," Frylock said quickly, "I have had it up to here with how badly you treat Meatwad. He is a member of this household, and you should treat him be-"
"Frylock…Frylock…Frylock," Shake said, interrupting Frylock. "You know…I did this out of my respect for him," Shake said reassuringly.
"AS HELL!" Frylock shouted. "You have never even showed him one bit of respect since you first met him. Did you know that he tries to make you happy."
"Frylock," Shake said calmly, and was even laughing in a reassuring way. "Don't be this way. You know it was just a joke right. I'm sure he'll learn…some…valuable lesson from this. You'll see. And when he comes back, we can all just laugh this all off."
"Ohh he damn as hell better come back," Frylock said quickly, "or else you'll find yourself six feet under in the cemetery."
"Listen Frylock," Shake said calmly. "I always lik-"
The conversation was cut short as Ignignot and Err jumped through the still broken windows. Frylock and Shake quickly turned their attention towards them. "Hello pathetic food items," Ignignot said as he walked over to the TV.
"To what do I owe this great visit?" Frylock said as Err threw their phone out of the broken window.
"You should feel honored for our incredible visit," Ignignot said calmly. "We are here to exact proper retribution for a horrible crime."
"It was so horrible, that the criminal must be spanked with moon rocks," Err added.
"Ohh really," Frylock said. "And what is this horrible crime?"
"The crime is of a forsaken nature," Ignignot said calmly.
"Are you just going to say how bad the 'crime' was," Shake said, extremely annoyed that everyone was distracting him from his TV viewing pleasure, "or are you actually going to say something important, because my show is on, and I need to watch this."
"I was getting to that cup," Ignignot said with a little annoyance in his voice. "Someone inferior than us said our great name in disrespect, and now we must exact revenge on…" Ignignot waited a few seconds for suspense, and then pointed his 16-bit hand at, "…Frylock."
"You will be beaten with moon rocks," Err added.
"Ohh, really," Frylock said. "And how do you know that I said your name in 'disrespect'."
"We know Frylock. We know lots about what you do," Ignignot said calmly.
"Everything you do," Err added.
"Ohh really," Frylock said.
"Yeah really," Err said.
"We know that the cup sold Meatwad to some aliens, and that their ship just crashed in the forests outside of the town," Ignignot said.
"We saw it when we were coming down," Err added.
Frylcok raised an eyebrow at Ignignot's comment. "Are you serious?" Frylock asked.
"We might be," Ignignot said. "We don't really care is all."
"No one else matters," Err added.
"Hey…you, you guys…leave," Shake said angrily. "You're interrupting my shows. I can't miss this."
"Then behold," Ignignot said, pulling out his laser gun. "Your viewing pleasure will soon be destroyed." Ignignot fired the laser. The very slow moving block of…laser stuff… floated towards the TV.
"When it hits, their will be a void of pleasure in your life," Err added.
"Not if I…move the TV," Shake said as he moved the TV out of the way of the slowly approaching laser.
"You put that right back!" Err shouted.
"Yes, put that right back," Ignignot said annoyed. "Your destruction is at hand…when you put the TV back."
"Would you two get the hell out of here!" Frylock shouted.
"You can't make us Fry man," Ignignot said calmly, "because we control when we leave."
"Plus, " Err added, "We haven't exacted our revenge yet."
"Oh really," Frylock said angrily, ignoring Err's comment. He charged up his eyes for an attack. "Then lets see if this motivates you to leave." He fired his laser eye…weapon things…at Ignignot and Err. They jumped out of the way, and then ran towards the window. They jumped through the window, and headed towards their ship. Frylock followed them out, and watched them board their ship from his front yard.
"You're a fucking nerd," Ignignot said as the ship flew into the sky.
"Freakin' nerds," ERR yelled from the ship.
"Well," Frylock said, floating back to the living room. "That was pointless."
"Frylock," Shake said calmly. The laser block must have broken through the wall, because the TV was back in it's original spot, with a small hole behind it. "I'm trying to watch TV here."
The end of Chapter four. Can't wait for more, can ya? Heh-heh, well, you'll just have to wait. If you noticed, Zim has more, and better, lines. That is because my friend, Steve (Who will now be referred to as Dr. Frag) knows Zim and GIR's lines better than I do. I'm better with the ATHF lines. The next few chapters will now be extremely better. Every chapter has been getting longer and longer.
Next Chapter: Carl and Dib find the crash, and Zim receives help from an unlikely source.
Posted 1/4/06