The Best of Times

by Ozzallos

Ranma discovers why his life at the Tendo Dojo has been hell and engages in an epic pissing match with Pluto and the rest of the Senshi. A fukufic production, multipart. COMPLETE.

9. Epilogue X1

The Best of Times…
By Ozzallos
A Fukufics (dotcom) Production

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Hold on to your asses. We're going out with a bang.

---

Epilogue X1

Usagi Tsukino set her book bag on the sofa and closed the apartment door with a soft click. All in all, it had been a good day, if only because things were finally returning to normal… Well, as normal as they could be with Ranma and Setsuna missing in action. It had taken nearly six months to achieve this measure of normalcy, but it was finally asserting itself with some measure of predictability. Perhaps the most difficult part of the ordeal was dealing with those close to Yumei, no, Ranma, she mentally corrected herself for nearly the thousandth time.

The blonde sighed as she kicked off her shoes and plopped onto the sofa next to the book bag. She recalled informing his parents that their son had fallen in the defense of their world, only to be met with staunch disbelief. Ranma Saotome was, after all, bullet proof and it somehow didn't come as a surprise to find out the martial artist had taken out a super powered immortal being. That disbelief lasted only as long as it took the Elder Amazonian matriarch, her great grand daughter and Ranma's greatest rival to confirm her story. Distraught wasn't the word for Nodoka Saotome, who was overcome with crushing despair. It had taken everything for her husband and their extended family, the Tendos to keep her from taking her own life over the next week, but through it she found an odd sort of peace. The life of a martial artist was fraught with peril, after all. If her son was to fall, she couldn't ask for anything more manly than for him to save the Earth with a harem of magical girls in tow.

Ukyo Kuonji hadn't faired much better, though she was probably the most stable of all Ranma's perspective fiancées, in Usagi's humble opinion. She pulled through and became fast friends with their alter egos in the process. Shampoo, who had fought at their side, endured as a true Amazon warrior would have. The man she had chased for so long had fallen in battle and there could be no greater honor bestowed upon him… Her only wish was that Ranma would have been hers beforehand. For Kodachi and her brother Tatewake, Ranma of course had managed to spirit away the pigtailed girl- or vise versa –and were anxiously awaiting their return.

Akane, the "primary fiancée" as Moon like to think of her, closed up tight with the news. Usagi had had caught wind of the sister's legendary temper, but that smoldering inferno seemed to be snuffed out with the news that Ranma wasn't coming back. In fact, the only thing that slipped past that neutral barrier of hers was when the Kuno's had invited themselves to Ranma's funeral, and beat both brother and sister within inches of their lives.

The funeral had surprised the Sailor Senshi most of all. They had all seen them before. Small get-togethers. A wake. Crying loved ones. What they witnessed in Nerima was nothing short of hero's farewell. Emissaries from the Joketsuzoku, the Musk, and the Phoenix stood in line to honor the fallen along side the host of Furinkan and half of the Nerimian prefect itself. Friends. Enemies. Family. All bound together by this one man. It was a stark contrast to Setsuna's ceremony only days later; whose only attendees were those of the Senshi themselves. Nobody else knew the Princess of Pluto and whatever family she had were lost to the annals of time. In some ways, it was a more somber occasion by several magnitudes.

So the angst continued for a few more months. The Kunos would pay them courtesy visits looking for Ranma. The Tatewake boy would practice his pickup lines on any Senshi he could find, while his insane sister concentrated exclusively on Mamoru, much to Usagi's personal consternation. Then came the obligatory beat-down. Ukyo would also come over on occasion, release her frustration on the few remaining youma in the area and cook the Senshi something to eat. After that, she would proceed to eliminate any sobriety with extreme prejudice over sake and stories of her best friend. As for the rest, they kept mainly to themselves in Nerima. The last thing the family needed was a reminder of how their son had died, Moon figured.

But it was finally beginning to turn around.

The memories were becoming fonder and the angst lightening. Life was returning to normal and she could almost snack again without some form of leadership guilt shadowing her. In fact… The blonde broke from her introspective on recent events and hopped off the couch, aiming for the apartment kitchen. Cookies sounded damn good at the moment. If she was lucky, there'd still be some left from last night's meeting. The click of the front door coincided with the click of the refrigerator door and Usagi's hand paused centimeters from the carton of milk that was her essential snacking component with the cookies. She tasted the power signature at the door and shrugged, resuming her quest for the snack. Since the incident, she had made it a point to sharpen every skill at her disposal- another component of the leadership guilt –but she was now far more aware of the world around her as a result. In this case, it was Chibi at the door and she smiled. Of all the people in their close knit group, Small Lady seemed virtually immune to the wave of depression that accompanied the funerals. Usagi snorted mentally. She'd be immune too it she knew the future as if it had already been written. All in all, the pink haired Senshi had been vital in keeping the team from dipping even further into the depressive air with her assurance that 'everything would be ok'.

Easy for her to say.

Moon snagged her cookies from the counter jar and set a course back for the living room, where Chibi was already talking to somebody. See? Everything was returning to normal. She wasn't a total failure as a leader, the Sailors weren't write-offs and they were even allowed to have friends once in a while. She smiled as Small Lady took notice of her, then nodded at the dark haired boy she was talking to. Yep. Everything was getting back to normal. Chibi even had a boyfriend. Moon almost stumbled as her brain caught up to her mental rambling.

Chibi has… a boyfriend?

She tightened her grip on the glass of milk that threatened to spill out of her hands and stared. Well this was a first. Usagi stared into Chibi's surprised expression, one that all but screamed she had been caught red-handed.

"Uhh…heheh… You're home!" Chibi proclaimed the obvious, even if it were an obviously unexpected occurrence. A wide eyed stare greeted the statement. It slowly faded into a sly smile.

"Ducked out early." The blonde replied. Since the incident, she had developed a perverse sense of humor, and Moon relished the feeling as the pink haired girl squirmed under her gaze, her face turning almost as pink as her hair. "You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend, Chibi…"

"Um… uh… heheheh…."

Usagi turned her attention to the boy, sizing up the thirteen year old that was purposively courting the future queen of Crystal Tokyo. He met her gaze confidently and she silently notched a single point of approval. Still there was something damn familiar about him. Black hair tied into a pony tail. The iridescent purple eyes were slightly on the exotic side to be sure. "And who might you be?"

He took a sidelong glance over to Chibi, who seemed to have recovered enough composure to answer his silent inquiry with a shrug. He turned back to Usagi and flashed an arrogant smile, one she had been known to use herself as of late. His next words crushed reality as she knew it.

"I'm Akira Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."

---

"Can't say I didn't warn you." The pink haired girl quipped to the boy at her side, who simply rolled his eyes. The two now sat in the middle of what could accurately be termed an uproar, as the remaining Senshi returned home to find Chibi Usa and the boy named Akira Saotome in their midst. Chibi couldn't help but to note how Usagi enjoyed doling out the information, savoring their surprise in the same way it had stricken her only an hour ago. The leader of the Sailors had had time to recover. The remaining Senshi had not.

"Woulda found out anyway." He shrugged nonchalantly. "If big bro and sis didn't give us away, Mom and Pop woulda."

Usa nodded. "True." She was about to continue their conversation when the pair both noted the sudden silence. They turned to find all eyes riveted on their persons.

"Big brother and sister?" Makato mouthed.

"Mom and Pop?" Rei mimed in disbelief. The story just kept getting better and better.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me…" Ami curse as she had been wont to do since the battle, but unlike the other Sailors, her razor sharp intellect was already jumping to the obvious conclusions the boy's name present them. Akira Saotome. Oh sure, there was the possibility that he was some relative, but she wasn't too fond of coincidence and the odds that another Saotome would just pop into their lives were damn long. Combine that with her close proximity to Chibi and her continually stated assurance that everything would be "okay", and she was being presented with a nearly impossible conclusion. But not totally, so she rode it home. With the last name of Saotome, his father's identity was obvious, but the mother… "So who is your mom, Akira?"

The boy cocked his head and the surrounding girls listened intently. "Pop."

Haruka affected a perturbed expression. "She asked who your mom was, kid."

Akira frowned, and beside him, Chibi fought to suppress a fit of maniacal laughter. The answer wasn't lost on Usagi or Ami, however, and their eyes widened. It wasn't exactly the answer either were expecting, after all. The cobalt blue haired Senshi rubbed her temples. "I don't even want to know how that happened…" she grumbled, and Moon took over the inquiry.

"What she's asking is... Well…" She approached the subject tentatively, painfully aware of how awkward the question was. "Um, your father was… Ranma?" The name brought silence to the group and Akira responded with a single nod. "And your mother would be…?" The boy smiled and laughter continued to burble from the pink haired girl next to him.

"Setsuna Meiou, of course."

---

Two figures stepped out of a glimmering sliver of unreality, distorting the air around it in a wavering glow. The first was clad in black Chinese silks whose primary feature was a gold embroidered dragon coiling up his body, while a long pigtail bound his black crop of hair. His blue eyes scanned the back ally they had stepped into as the woman joined his side, her luscious green mane of hair floating with the light breeze created by the temporal gate at their backs. The staff in her hand bore an uncanny resemblance to a large key, and she drew a sign into the air with it. While her motions left no trace, the gate at her back instantly began to loose cohesion, collapsing in upon itself as if it had never existed. The green-haired woman gave the staff a twirl and banished it from sight, and with it, the black and white fuku she had been wearing. Moments later the pair stepped out onto the sidewalk, the young man still in his black silks while the woman now sported a lavender skirt and jacket.

Blue eyes flicked back and forth, scrutinizing the environment and people around him. "Well, it looks like Nerima…"

"This time it is." She assured him with a nod.

Instead of the smile she had been expecting with the assurance, a mask of steady neutrality remained on her partner's face. He gave a sniff, as if testing the air. "It's good to be home and all, but part of me ain't lookin' forward to this."

The woman rested a light hand on his shoulder in sympathy. "It'll turn out just fine."

Her words earned a wry smile from the young man's face. "Oh, and I'm supposed to just take your word for it?"

The young woman blinked, as if shocked. "Not just my word for it."

"Hers too." He added, folding his arms across his chest and affecting a look of annoyance. "One of these days me and her are gonna have a little talk."

"Now, hun," She chided. "Don't make me explain temporal causality to you again."

The pigtailed martial artist winced.

"After all, what fun would it be if I let myself know everything that was going to happen in advance?" The young man already knew the answer to that particular question. Things would get pretty damn boring pretty damn fast. Then you'd start to second guess yourself. Temporal causality sucked in his opinion. "That way?" She asked, motioning down the sidewalk.

He nodded and continued the conversation as they began walking. "Not that I don't wanna see 'em all again, but it's been what… Twenty years? I mean, we're dead to them."

"Subjectively," She corrected. "Only six months have passed here, remember? It was the closest I could get us. Besides, what are you complaining about? You got the better funeral."

The black clad young man smiled at her artificial scowl. "Feh. Half those people hated my guts anyway."

The scowl disappeared in favor of a mischievous grin and Sestuna smiled. "True. Little Saffron was so pissed you went and died on him with the staves in your possession."

"Serves him right." The pig-tailed boy's grin widened, then faltered. "Wonder how Mom's gonna be with all this… And I ain't lookin' forward to reigniting the fiancée wars."

The green haired woman elbowed him as they rounded a corner. "You worry too much. Besides, I have a surprise for you."

The man at her side noted the glint in her eyes and considered her warily. "It ain't like the last one, is it?"

"Nope." She piped. "This one is much better."

The young man sighed. "I'm so screwed."

"If you're lucky." She whispered seductively. "But for now, let's go tie up some loose ends."

---

"You sure this is the place?" A short pigtailed girl asked, looking up to the boy at her side. She brushed a green strand of hair from her eyes and gave the structure another once-over.

The red-headed teen nodded sharply. "Definitely the place. After all, how many schools of indiscriminant grappling can their possibly be in this town?" The girl cast a dry look up at him and he shrugged. "Okay, right. But Pop's directions were pretty specific."

She sighed, conceding the point. "No denying that it's the highest concentration of power this side of Tokyo either, I guess." She paused cocking her head. "Think we should wait for Mom and Pop?"

"Nah." He replied. "Besides, I'm hungry. Aunt Kasumi will fix us something."

"As long as she isn't a vampire, like last time." The pigtailed girl quipped, causing the boy to visibly pale.

"Ok, point taken." He admitted. "So we go in, make sure Auntie isn't a vampire and have a snack."

"And Aunt Nabiki?" She arched an eyebrow and the young man sighed.

"You just had to bring that up, didn't you?"

"Well excuse me if I don't feel like being gutted by a two foot long blade made of bone." The girl snorted.

"Come on, we were eight then." He rolled his eyes. "Besides, Mom assured us that this is the right time frame this time." She opened her mouth once more and the young man preempted her this time. "And don't even get started on Aunt 'Kane, got it?"

"Can't say I didn't warn you." The green haired girl replied innocently.

The red headed boy mumbled something under his breath and responded by walking up to the properties front gate giving the bell a shake. They only waited a moment before the gate creaked open, revealing the smiling visage of Kasumi Tendo clad in a conservative pink dress and apron.

"Welcome to the Tendo do—" She stopped mid sentence and peered over the young man's shoulder. "Oh my."

The boy turned around to find his sister covering her face with one arm and the other thrust out towards Kasumi, holy cross in hand. He let go a labored sigh and turned back to the eldest Tendo sister. "You aren't by any chance a vampire, are you?"

Kasumi considered the question a moment, as if she actually had to think about it. "Goodness, no."

The girl peeked out from behind her arm, the cross faltering. He turned back to Kasumi. "And Nabiki wouldn't happen to own a two foot short sword made of bone that steals the life energy of its victims?"

Kasumi's eyes widened, but she shook her head to the negative. The green-haired pig tailed girl almost dropped her guard completely. "How about Akane? Does she wield a ki born mallet of death and destruction?"

Kasumi blinked and put a finger to her chin. "Now that you mention it, yes she does." A kind smile formed on her face once again. "But she doesn't use it much these days."

The pair stared at Kasumi Tendo, then gave each other a shared look. "What do you think, Sis?"

The girl pursed her lips and shrugged. "Two out of three ain't bad, I guess."

Kasumi considered the strange pair. They looked eerily familiar. About seventeen or eighteen if she were any judge and the way the girl wore her hair… the boy's spiky styling wasn't recognizable, but the red hair was triggering all sorts of memories in the eldest Tendo's brain… She broke from the train of thought as the two finished there deliberation. Whatever was about to happening, it was probably best to continue it inside.

Something was telling her that dinner might be a little late tonight.

---

Nabiki stepped down stairs, stomach grumbling. This in itself was not odd. It had been a long day of money collections and extorting, and that was always bound to work up an appetite. No, what was unusual was the fact that she wasn't smelling dinner. In some ways that was good, as it meant her little sister had yet to step foot in the kitchen. She was getting better, but anything more complex than boiling eggs or rice was bound to taste like a flavored cinder block.

A badly flavored cinder block, that is.

On the other hand, it also meant Kasumi wasn't cooking yet, which meant that some anomaly had manifested itself in the eldest sister's household regiment. These days it probably was something mundane, like running out of soy sauce or the like. Still, making money worked up an appetite, and if dinner wasn't forthcoming, she'd have to take matters into her own hands.

She stopped short of the living room, finding Kasumi leading two guests into the house. Her dinner was being delayed for… Strangers. Nabiki hid the scowl with a mastery born from years of experience. Maybe she could help expedite their departure… or find some form of monetary compensation through their presence. She stepped fully into the living room, and the pair caught sight of her.

What the hell!

The same details that had given her older sister pause flashed through brain, and Nabiki's knife-like thought process broke them down and dissected them at lightning speeds few others would have been capable of. There was no mistaking the family resemblance and she knew for a fact that the Saotome's weren't expecting other children, let alone ones that were her age. Extended family? Not likely, she decided. The green hair on the girl was a bit out of the ordinary, but the boy's red hair screamed 'Ranko'. They even carried themselves like the former fiancée to be. The boy even had his eyes, dammit!

"Heyas, Auntie Nabs." The boy waved nonchalantly, while the girl seemed to be studying her warily.

Nabiki tore her eyes from the two newcomers to Kasumi paled face. The eyes told her everything she needed to know. "Umm… Kasumi… Who are our… guests?"

The boy visibly deflated at the question and the girls face turned grumpy. Kasumi took another sidelong glance at them. "Uh, this would be… Um…" The eldest Tendo sister hesitated nervously, looking at the boy.

"Ono." The boy filled in for her, holding up a hand. Nabiki blinked.

"Ranko." The pigtailed girl supplied. Nabiki blinked again.

"…Saotome." Kasumi finished in a revenant whisper, confirming her sister's suspicions. It took everything she had to remain composed, let alone upright. Her brain latched onto the first, most obvious fact available to it… Ranma was alive. Some how, against all odds, the bastard had lived through the impossible… AGAIN. Too many possibilities and scenarios began to assault her mental process, so she concentrated on the next most obvious fact—These were his children. She didn't even bother pursuing the implications that fact left hanging. There really wasn't any need to, after all…

"Wait a minute." Nabiki stopped short with sudden realization. "Your ages are all wrong."

Ono Saotome sighed, looking down at his sister. "Don't suppose you want to explain it…?"

"Forget it, Onee-chan. I explained it last time." Ranko crossed her arms in rejection.

"Damn." The spiky red-head grumbled. "I'm starting to really hate explaining temporal mechanics and planular domain theory to the Tendos…"

"Told ya we shoulda waited for Mom and Pop." Ranko shrugged oblivious to her brother's consternation.

"Sailor Pluto."

The name caught the brother and sister's head on a swivel, causing them to stare at Kasumi with wide eyes. Even Nabiki looked at her sister with curiosity. "Who did you..."

"Your mother is Sailor Pluto." Kasumi stated pleasantly.

The pair stared at Kasumi, then each other. Ono spoke first. "You know, I think she's the first Kasumi that's gotten it right the first time…" Ranko nodded dumbly.

"As in the Sailors?" Nabiki asked with incredulity, to which Kasumi nodded. "The same Sailors Ukyo hangs out with?" Another nod. "Want to explain that one to me?"

"Well, everybody knows that Sailor Pluto is the Mistress of Time, after all," Kasumi rationalized. "And it would seem that Ranma's… children have experience with time travel. Combine that with his association with the Sailors themselves..." She looked at Ranko. "After all that, the red eyes and green hair was a dead give-away." Ono, Ranko and Nabiki stared at the eldest Tendo in silence.

"She was less creepy as a vampire…" Ranko mumbled, to which Ono nodded. Even Nabiki had to agree. Of course, she always did seem to have at least one of those medical books lying around…

"Ok, so it's not exactly a surprise that Saotome is alive…" Nabiki recovered, ticking the point of on her finger. "But getting married to a Senshi is a bit of surprise… And the kids… How do you explain them , Kas-chan?"

"Hmmm… It probably something to do with…" She consider the quandary, then turned to the teens. "Oh my, you must be starved after all that time travel!"

Giant sweat drops rolled off the trio's heads, while the brother and sister decided their father was right… The weirdness just never stops in little ol' Nerima.

---

Ukyo Kuonji hopped from one roof to the other, stalking her prey with lethal precision as the last rays of light evaporated from the evening sky. Everybody had a purpose in life, and since the death of Ranma Saotome- her fiancée –Ukyo had two. The first had been her childhood dream… To be an Okanomiyaki master like her father before her. The second came after Ranma's death… The single-minded focus of ripping Tokyo's remaining youma presence to shreds. This pursuit led her to a unique standing within her family, as she had become the clan's first Okanomiyaki Demon Hunter.

It had, in fact, been one of the first things she had done after the funeral. The same combat spatula that had served her faithfully throughout the Fiancée Wars had been taken to a local shrine and consecrated with holy water and symbology, turning it into a weapon of divine youma retribution. Her shiruken spatulas- the same ones she cooked with -had received similar treatment, and come out of the process with an unexpected side effect…

They made for absolutely divine okanomiyaki.

Be that as it may, it was Thursday night and that meant they had only one purpose in life—to dice youma into very small pieces.

The Okanomiyaki Master watched the sickly pink youma scramble from one ally to the next, aware that it was being pursued, but unable to discern by who or from where the threat bore. Ukyo slid three mini spatulas out of their leather bandolier, tucking them between her knuckles. An evil smile cracked her serious face as the youma rounded a corner and came to a dead end full of trash and debris.

Now.

Three glimmering lines of silver sliced through and into the shadowed alley, illuminating it briefly before burying themselves into a demon that could be loosely described as female, if it weren't for the scales, fangs and oversized bone joints that stretched its skin like a bad case of malnutrition.

"RRRooRRRoooWWRRLL!"

The beast wailed as the first shiruken imbedded itself into the left hemisphere of its skull, taking a sunken, beady eyeball with it. The next two buried themselves in its ribcage and shoulder respectively, and the creature fell to the ground thrashing as flesh began to ignite around the wounds. A claw found the skull rooted shiruken and attempted to pull it out, only to elicit another howl as the hand closed around the glowing white spatula. Somehow it endured the pain and yanked the weapon free, sending it clattering to the ground. The action gained it little, however, as the charring continued to radiate outward from the wound like a virus.

"Wherrrreee are yoouuuuu!" The gravely female voice hissed in pain as it desperately sought its assailant. The whistle of wind was the youma's only reply, and it snapped its head skyward to find a menacing shadow already dropping down from on high.

"FOR RAN-CHAN, BITCH!"

The combat spatula came down in a perfect arc, replacing the shiruken that had been buried in its head with a slice that eviscerated the youma from head to toe. Her weapon and feet touched the earth simultaneously. The youma stood above her crouch for a moment, before falling apart, sliding length wise in two. Ukyo Kuonji brought herself back up to her full height as the separate youma halves flopped to the ground and began to evaporate in a smoldering mist. The holy symbols on her combat spatula that had been glowing with the strike faded away as the last of the demon's life-force drained away into ether. The demon hunter-chef recovered her mini-shirukens and notched another mark into the leather bandolier with the last one, making for three tonight and a career high of fifty two confirmed kills.

Ukyo flipped the giant combat spatula around and slid it back to its resting place on her back, nodding with satisfaction. One of these days the little buggers were gonna learn not to screw around on her turf, she thought and turned on a heel, leaping back up to the roof. She extended her senses for a good few miles in every direction, failing to sense any more of the tainted creatures. While it was good she wasn't sensing them, it was also odd that she wasn't sensing anybody else. Normally at least a couple of Sailors would be on patrol tonight, but all she could feel was the concentration of power on the far end of Juuban. The apartment, of course. So why were they all sitting around back there?

She had done her share for tonight. Time to find out.

It took less than ten minutes to transverse the distance at high speed as she retraced the path she had taken so many times before to the Senshi's doorstep. She dropped down from another rooftop and stepped up to the apartment with a knuckle poised to rap on the door. The finger paused inches from the surface as Ukyo cocked her head, listening to the sounds coming from the inside. Some sort of commotion. A party? Argument? Her hand slipped around the doorknob, confident that the extenuating circumstances would permit her uninvited entry.

What she walked into was chaos, as familiar faces argued back and forth over some incomprehensible topic around Chibi and some kid— Ukyo's thought process froze as a vision tore open sealed memories from the past… She could only see the back of the boy's head, but the hair color and style began ripping open old wounds left and right. It couldn't be. The boy turned around and Ukyo's heart nearly stopped.

It was impossible.

"Ran-chan…" She whispered. The kid in front of her was nearly a mirror image of her fiancée, had his biological clock been wound back five or so years. The hair... Face… Even a ponytail like her childhood friend from so long ago. The eyes…. Ukyo blinked.

The eyes were purple.

"Hey Auntie Uuks." The boy smiled, causing Ukyo to frown. Ran-chan didn't have purple eyes. Magic de-aging mushrooms, she could believe, but this… She squinted at the boy and began to notice subtle differences in his features. This was not Ranma. Close, but not close enough to fool her of all people. Her mind came to the only logical conclusion.

"YOUMA!" She snarled, bringing the combat spatula to bear. The boy's eyes widened and all the arguing around her instantly stopped.

"Uhhh…"

"You may be able to fool the girls here, but you ain't foolin' me." The shining spatula twirled in her hand, and the chef took an attack stance. The purple eyed boy took a step back, looking frantically for an escape route. She was blocking the only one. "And for impersonating the most important person in my life, it's time for you to die." She paused, an evil smile taking over her face. "Painfully."

"Ukyo, wait!" Usagi's intervention came a moment too late as Ukyo lurched forward, raising the edge of her spatula high.

"You're gonna DIE little demon!"

"Eep!"

The weapon came down and was lost in a flash of purple light, blinding anybody looking in that direction. The flash didn't stop physics from happening and instead of the gratifying mushy thud Ukyo expected to feel, a cracking vibration greeted her grip as the giant utensil sliced an empty chair in half and gutted the floor beneath it. Ami winced at the property damage while Usa jumped back in horror.

"Where the little youma bastard go?" Ukyo inquired, scanning the apartment wildly while her eyes readjusted to more normal level of lighting. Everything still seemed to have a purplish hue, however.

"Real good, Ukyo…" Usagi stepped forward with a put-out look on her face. Ukyo's face was writ with incomprehension. "You just tried to split Ranma's youngest in half."

The Okanomiyaki master had only a moment to analyze her words before fainting dead away.

---

Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts stood on the property wall, looking down into the Saotome household. Beside him stood Setsuna, the Last Princess of Pluto and Guardian of Time, her hand entwined in his as the dusk glow faded from the night sky.

"Be it ever so humble…" Ranma spoke softly, causing Setsuna to give his hand a soft squeeze. Silence drift between them as the sight sparked memories in Ranma head, most of those being early childhood. As a young man, however, he had spent less than a year there and now the only thing that made it home was the people therein, specifically his mother. She was a person he hadn't seen since five years old after being spirited away on a martial arts training voyage, and once he was finally ready to begin life anew with her her again, was spirited away on another adventure.

That one lasted two decades.

The martial artist gave the structure another once over, confirming that his mother was, in fact the only person within the house. It didn't take a genius to figure out where his old man was. He lifted Setsuna's hand and they both hopped down from the wall and walked across the yard to the door. Ranma took a deep breath.

"I can do this, Love." Red eyes shown at him with sympathy. "You know what's going to happen if you knock on that door."

Ranma took a deep breath, and his hand poised just beyond the door's surface. "Yeah, but this is something I gotta do for myself." Setsuna nodded and stepped back.

knock-knock-knock!

The pair waited a precious few moments before light footsteps could be heard making their way to the door. "One moment…!" The muffled female voice came from the inside and soon the doorknob was turning. A middle aged woman in a conservative dress and long chestnut hair answered the door, smiling warmly at her visitors. "Oh my, you're a very nice looking couple. May I help you?"

"Hi Mom…" Ranma replied carefully, and Nodoka Saotome's eyes instantly widened.

"You're… not…" The redhead's breathing Quickened, leading to one inevitable conclusion. Nodoka's eyes widened one last time and promptly rolled into the back of her head. Her body slackened and fell to the earth, where Ranma caught her deftly before she met it. Ranma looked fondly on his mother, who he hadn't seen in twenty years, and lifted her back up in his arms.

"Told you so." Setsuna shrugged and let herself in through the open door, Ranma following close behind, carrying his mother.

"Yeah, yeah. Rub it in." Ranma found the nearest sofa and set her down gently, looking on her unconscious form. "Guess I'll fix us something to eat while we wait."

Fifteen minutes later, Nodoka Saotome's eyes fluttered open. She propped herself up from the sofa, recalling a dream she had had many times before… That being Ranma still alive and not a fallen hero. Her vision cleared and she took stock of her surrounding, her gaze immediately falling upon her smartly dressed, green-haired visitor sitting in the opposite chair, reading one of her magazines. She coughed slightly to get the woman's attention and red eyes flashed upon her.

"Good evening, Mrs. Saotome…" She smiled. "Sorry to have startled you."

Nodoka simply looked upon the young woman curiously. "Did I…? Who are you?"

The woman stood up and walked over to Nodoka, who was testing her own balance. She looked upon the young woman and felt the briefest moment of envy. Not that she was jealous of her figure, which was exquisite, or her beautifully exotic hair, or the intelligence that sparkled in her eyes. No, she was jealous that her son couldn't have known such a specimen of womanhood.

"My name is Setsuna… Saotome." The woman smiled once more, reaching her hand out to encompass Nodoka's, who stared at her with incomprehension. Saotome? How was she a Saotome? Unless Genma--

"I'm your son's wife."

The eyes widened, and for a split second Setsuna was afraid that the woman in front of her would pass out again. Then the mouth fell into a silent "ooooh!" She stood there, frozen in time for a moment before lurching forward, capturing the unprepared Mistress of Time in bear hug. "Daughter!" The daughter in question gasped for breath and suddenly found herself released, the middle aged woman's eyes shining on her intently. "Is that my son I saw at the door then?"

"It is." Setsuna answered with a smile. "He's in the kitchen fixing us something to eat."

"Don't you cook?" Nodoka asked, her finely tuned sense concerning womanhood tripped.

Setsuna shrugged. "While I can cook, it's his hobby, not mine. Probably picked it up from you." Nodoka's eyes gained a happy, thoughtful light as Setsuna deftly sidestepped that particular pitfall. Her husband had warned her in advance of what to expect from his mother and smiled mentally at having successfully diverted her attention. That, and it helped to have experience with the other Nodoka's even if none of them were quite the same as this one. In fact, this one seemed downright sedate compared to the demon hunter of their last jump, or Evil sorceress from a plane best left forgotten. Of course, all of them wanted to know one thing…

"Where are my grandchildren?" She peered around the room expectantly, mildly disappointed to find herself and Setsuna as the only occupants.

"Well, one is with his girlfriend in Juuban and the other two are probably at the Tendo dojo as we speak." The Mistress of Time detailed, and the light in Nodoka's eyes shown even brighter. Frankly, it was beginning to unnerve Setsuna. In fact, the Saotome matriarch unnerved her every time they met, which was quite a feat considering the Guardian of Time was just this side of three thousand years old. Luckily, reprieve came in the form of her husband, who stuck his head out the kitchen door.

"Dinner will be ready in a few, Set-chan. Is she--" Ranma cut his inquiry short as those shining orbs rotated from his wife onto him.

"MY MANLY SON!" Setsuna's time stop couldn't have done any better, as one moment she was standing next to the Senshi and the next she was wrapped around Ranma, who thanked God he hadn't come out with dishes in hand. "You'reAliveYou'reAliveYou're AliveYou'reAlive!" She paused only to take another deep breath. "My manly son is alive!" another pause and her expression brightened even further, if at all possible. "WITH GRANDBABIES!" A sweatdrop rolled off the side of Setsuna's head, an action Ranma might of mirrored if he wasn't busy getting the life squeezed out of him. As it was, it took him a minute to break the half nelson.

"Uh, yeah Mom, I'm alive." Ranma scratched the back of his head and she lurched forward again, embracing him in another fierce hug. "Gack!"

"But how! That nice Moon girl and the Amazons said…" She frowned looking her manly son over. "…and you've matured!" It was obvious that the young man in front of her had filled out in both form and definition, as well as adding a couple inches to his height. If she wasn't mistaken, he was around 26 or so now… Which didn't make sense since he had only been gone for six months. Whatever the result of that absence, his lean, muscular frame indicated that he had undoubtedly kept up in the Art.

Ranma slumped, and glanced over at Setsuna. "Don't suppose you want explain it?"

Setsuna rolled her eyes. "Forget it. I explained it last time."

"Damn," Ranma grumbled. Ono Saotome wasn't the only one getting tired of explaining temporal mechanics and planular domain theory. He looked at his Mom and smiled. "Ok, have a seat. It goes like this… We successfully planted the bomb in the pocket universe and were evacuating everybody but ran into a problem…"

"Specifically, upwards around twenty thousand youma." Setsuna added, to which Ranma nodded.

"And we had to find a way to get out before being overran." Nodoka hung on every word of her son's harrowing escape as he continued. "I unleashed a devastating technique that gave us some breathing room, but effectively cut me off from our escape route. You really don't want to know how close I came to buying it there."

"What happened then…?" Nodoka leaned forward, concern showing in her eyes.

"Then a goddess happened by and saved my ass." He looked over at Setsuna, who was blushing madly. "Instead of getting me to the escape route, she brought the escape route to me. We hit the wormhole running, but the bomb went off just as we entered it, creating…"

"…A time-space improbability juncture." Setsuna took over naturally. "Basically, the Elerium blast wave sent a power spike through the wormhole resonate structure, sending it branching across no less than 582 planes of existence."

Ranma noted the glazed over look in his mother's eyes and interpreted his wife's explanation. "We got lost on the way back."

Nodoka nodded as if the preceding had actually made sense. "And along the way you fell madly in love, had grandbabies and lived happily ever after."

Setsuna blinked. "Um, I guess if you want the abbreviated version, yes."

Nodoka smiled knowingly as if everything had gone according to plan, which only served to unnerve Ranma's wife even more. "And when can I expect to meet them?"

"Well, the Tendo's are the--" The Senshi of Pluto cocked her head, as if she were a dog listening to a high pitched note. "On second thought, you may be meeting one right about…"

PhooOOmP!

"ACK! Don't kill me Auntie Ukyo!"

The frantic plea was accompanied by a purple burst of light, and by the time Nodoka had rubbed her eyes clear of it, a thirteen year old boy was crouched in the middle of her living room, covering his head as if the sky was about to fall on him. Nodoka stared at the boy curiously, who was only now beginning to peak out of his protective shell.

Setsuna shook her head, letting loose and exasperated sigh. "Don't tell me Auntie Ukyo tried to split you in half again…?" She turned to Ranma with a frown. "You really have to talk to her about that, hun."

Ranma arched an eyebrow. "I do. In every single damn reality we visit." He looked down at the boy, who was just regaining awareness of his surroundings. "Been causing trouble again, Akira?"

"Naw, just was visitin' Usa-chan when-- GACK!" The purple-eyed boy never knew what hit him as Nodoka Saotome rode in on full stealth and proceed to turn the boy into boney pulp.

"Aren't you just soooo CUUUTE!" She shook the boy around as he proceeded with all his skill to defy her grasp, a task at which he was remarkably unsuccessful in accomplishing. She thrust the boy out in front of her suddenly, nearly giving him whiplash. "Let's have a look at you! OOOoh, you look just like Ranma when he was your age! And the eyes! They're so exotic!"

"Oh, uh, heyas Grandma…" Akira had all but recovered from his shock, recognizing the person who now held him. "Uh, yeah. Blue and red."

Nodoka blinked. "You know who I am? Red and blue?"

"Of course I know ya, Grandma!" Akira smiled, pulling the adult into a hug of his own. "The eyes. Mom and Dad."

Nodoka smiled, but a curious expression inhabited her face. "How do you know who I am, child?"

"Easy, I--" Akira stopped short, catching his father's warning look. "Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Uh, nice to meet you Grandma!"

She cast a skeptical look up at her son, who quickly wiped his face clean of anything incriminating. "He knows everything about you, Mom."

She cast him one last look, before returning to the boy. "And how old are you?"

"Thirteen."

Nodoka did some quick calculations and found herself staring at the boy, then Ranma, then Setsuna. "Son, exactly how old are you?"

Ranma frowned. The question hadn't been so bad early on in his travels with Setsuna, as the age difference had never been noticeable. But after twenty years on the road with Setsuna and the children, it was becoming an increasingly common question. "Thirty eight, Mom."

Nodoka simply stared at her son. And stared. "You… You've aged well, son."

"Ain't nothing compared to Set-chan he--Oof!" The martial artist took an elbow to the ribs and lapsed into silence, rubbing his mid-section painfully.

"What the baka here is trying to say," She overtook the conversation forcefully. "Is that we have actually been gone nearly twenty years."

"Twenty years?" Nodoka mouthed in disbelief. "But… but how?"

Ranma and Setsuna nodded and Nodoka slowly released her grip on Akira. "The actual journey took us twenty years, but given my unique, eh, gifts, I was able to return us within six months of our disappearance while negating the effects of your son's aging."

"Time travel?" Nodoka blinked, trying to grasp the concept. "Is that possible?"

"Mom, I turn into a girl when splashed with cold water, you tell me." Ranma replied dryly, and Nodoka shrugged, conceding the point with a nod. "But yeah, it's possible. Another one of Set-chan's gifts is that I don't age normally."

"I see." Nodoka nodded. "So if I have all of this correct, you've been gone for about twenty years, are thirty eight years old even though you look twenty-five, married a magical girl and have three grandchildren?"

Setsuna nodded her own affirmation and Ranma simply said, "Yah."

"MY MANLY SON!"

Needless to say, a fierce glomping followed that none escaped.

---

The shadows of night were busy claiming the land around the Tendo dojo as Ukyo Kuonji stalked through them. She was on a mission, and there would be no staying her purpose. Strange things were afoot tonight and she had to warn the Tendos, especially if their was a chance in hell that Ranma was alive. If there was there was one place he would eventually turn up with absolute certainty, it was here and she intended to be there when he did.

She leapt over the compound's wall with ease and stepped up to the back door, her hand pausing at the doorknob. She cocked an ear to more precisely discern the conversation inside.

"And there you were running around with that sword," Now who was that? Ukyo wondered as she turned the knob softly. Some new girl? "like you were possessed or something!"

"You can't be serious." That was Nabiki's voice, she noted. The dry, doubting tone could only be hers. "I don't even own a sword."

"Swear to God, Auntie." A lower voice continued. Definitely a guy. Wait… Auntie? "You were chasin' ol' Grandpa like crazy! Chop! Chop! Chop!"

'Chop chop chop?' Ukyo twitched as she stepped through the hallway. While chasing the old Panda down and serving up panda steaks did paint a lovely image, she just couldn't see Nabiki with any sort of weaponry, let alone a possessed sword.

"Oh my," Kasumi started, looking over the teens shoulders. "We weren't expecting you, Ukyo-chan."

The Okanomiyaki Master now stared on the strange group, and a familiar wave of deja'vu rippled through her. Kasumi and Nabiki were familiar of course. She saw them at least once a month, more if they stopped by her restaurant. No, the deja'vu was born of the teens next to them, one spiky haired red-headed boy and one green haired pig-tailed girl who was a dead ringer for Ranma's female aspect. The red hair on the boy was telling enough and if she could have combined the styling, her best friend's girl type would have been sitting right there in front of her. Still, the girl, like the boy she had seen a mere fifteen minutes ago, wasn't an exact match to the faces she knew too well. This Rankos' features were sharper and if her sitting proportions were any indication, slightly less busty, even if the ages were fairly close.

"Let me guess…" Ukyo pointed to the kids, looking at Kasumi. "More of Ranma's kids?"

Kasumi nodded cheerfully and Nabiki picked up on the slight twist of grammar. "'More' kids?" She stared at the two who had been snacking on Kasumi's homemade cookies. They paused under the scrutiny.

Ranko shrugged. "Musta been Akira." She a paused looking, looking up at the chef expectantly. "You didn't try to split 'Kira-kun in half again, did you, Aunt Uuks?"

Ukyo blinked. As a matter of fact she had. With that thought, she snapped. "How the hell do you know so much about us!"

"Think I can explain that, Ucchan."

She whirled around at the all too familiar voice and found him, Ranma Saotome. There were differences. He had aged. Slightly taller. But Ukyo knew beyond a shadow of a doubt. This was the real thing. He was exactly how she had pictured them growing up together as a couple. The chef was so caught up in the moment that her brain barely registered the two women next to him, and she slammed into him hard enough to pin him to the doorway.

"RANCHAN!" Ranma let out the slightest of 'oofs' as he was nailed to the door and locked in a fierce embrace that he readily accepted. It had been a long time for Ranma too. Even though nearly every reality they had visited had an Ucchan, they were all different in some intrinsic way. This one was his. "Oh God, I thought I lost you! I thought I…" The rest of her words became intelligible as she lapsed into incoherent sobbing.

"I missed you too, Ucchan…" Ranma simply stroked her head as she cried in his shoulder. Setsuna smiled and the kids collected around her, now numbering three. The two additions didn't go unnoticed.

"Is that Ono? And Ranko?" Both children turned from the beautiful scene to one they had come to dread over the many realities they had visited. The light shining in Nodoka Saotome's eyes had an unnatural gleam to it. "GRANDBABIES!"

"Ack! Gramma! Cut it out!" A pitched female voice hollered from one arm while the arm squirmed with the redheaded boy.

"No! Not agaaaain!"

The commotion was enough to break Ukyo from her joyful reunion and stare as Nodoka wrestled with the teens. "You all better now, Auntie Ukyo?" Her sight came down to find the little Ranma with purple eyes she had attacked earlier.

"Almost, kiddo." She smiled faintly, then looked back up to Ranma. "Almost. You really have some explaining to do, Sugar." Her eyes then turned to the woman who was watching with amusement as the two other children had the life crushed out of them. "Got somebody you want to introduce me to?"

"Eh…" From experience, Ranma knew this situation could break any number of ways from grudging acceptance to outright violence. Not that his wife couldn't handle anything the chef could literally dish out, but it'd be a shame if he'd have to subdue his best friend. "Ukyo, meet Setsuna… My wife."

Silence hung in the air for a few precious moments as the two sized up one another. In a detached part of her brain, Ukyo could see what might have attracted her…ex-fiancée to the woman. She could have given any of the fiancées a run for their money in the looks department alone, not to mention having a figure to die for, something she evidentially had no trouble showing off. Between the green hair and red eyes, exotic was definitely one word for her. Woman… The word hung in her mind as a statement in itself. This was by no means a girl or a teen, and that put her in a class by herself. Under any other circumstances, she might have thought Ranma seduced by her maturity, until coupled with the fact that the Ran-chan next to her was nearly the same age. Somewhere in his six month journey back to Nerima he had aged nearly ten years, acquired a wife and three children, the oldest of which looked about as old as Ranma used to be.

The mathematical discontinuity helped to blunt most of her jealousy.

"Um, nice to meet you…" She strained. "I guess."

Setsuna inclined her head graciously. It was probably as good a greeting as she was going to get at the moment. "Likewise. I've been looking forward to meeting Ranma's best friend."

"And fiancée." Ukyo added, somewhat bitterly. Setsuna held her silence while the girl turned to study Ranma further. "What the hell happened to you Ran-chan?"

"Good question."

"Indeed."

Ranma now had three sets of eye balls riveted to him and he sighed. "Goddamn temporal mechanics."

"Ranma-chan never seems to have a problem with temporal theory." Setsuna mentioned with a mischievous smile that boardered just this side of mysterious to everybody else watching the pair curiously. Ranma scowled.

"Oh sure, laugh it up." The pig tailed martial artist commented dryly before turning to the others. "I'll explain, but it's long and I don't wanna repeat it five hundred times. Where's Akane and the parents?"

"Father and Mister Saotome have taken the night out and Akane…" Kasumi let an uncharacteristic pause creep into her answer. "Um, Akane is…"

"On a date." Nabiki finished with her usual consideration for others. Ranma blinked. A date? The Tendo held out her hand expectantly. "Two thousand yen."

Ranma was still stumbling over the fact that Akane was on a date of her own volition when his wife cut in. "Now, now. We don't want to ruin the surprise for my husband."

Nabiki turned her attention to the red-eyed woman, who was supposedly the martial artist's wife with a mixture surprise and doubt. "You know?"

"My dear, I am the Senshi of Time." She chided Nabiki as if lecturing a small child. "I'm the one who arranged it, after all."

Nabiki's eyes widened and the color drained from her face. It was, of course, impossible. But the Senshi of Time… had hooked her sister up… with… that person. The Tendo took a step back, realizing that this woman's manipulations not only eclipsed hers own by several magnitudes but they were outright devious, if not downright perverted in nature.

"You didn't."

"I did."

Nabiki stared incredulously at the green haired woman for a moment before her eye began twitching. Slowly, she moved to the living room seat furthest from the Senshi, who simply smile serenely.

Ranma glanced from sister to wife. "I'm almost tempted to take you up on the offer now, Nabs."

Nabiki shook her head emphatically. "Uh-uh. The deal is withdrawn, Saotome." She continued to eye the Senshi of Time warily.

Ranma watched the trepidation pool in the middle sister's eyes, and turned back to his pleasantly smiling wife. He sighed. "I knew it. This one is much worse than Tau Ceti, ain't it?"

Setsuna gave him a friendly peck on the cheek. "My dear husband, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Nabiki shivered from across the room. This was her idea of a present to Ranma? No fucking way was she going to cross that woman. Or Ranma. Or his children. Ever. Ranma, on the other hand, seemed to accept it as a fact of life, which it probably was, she realized. You get to know somebody pretty well after nearly twenty years of marriage, right? Well, whatever. Nabiki let her eyes float across the room's other players. The new kid was definitely younger, had weird purple eyes but otherwise looked like a smaller version of Ranma minus the pigtail. Been busy, she snorted mentally. Her eyes continued and stopped on her older sister. Nabiki frowned at the unnatural sparkle she had just noticed in Kasumi's eyes. They were directed on Ranma's person. Nabiki's thoughts stumbled. Oh you've got to be kidding… No, it makes sense, the middle Tendo corrected herself. He may have not been when he first arrived three years ago, but Ranma Saotome was definitely a man's man now. She could see why Kasumi was paying all kinds of attention now. With his well defined body and matured looks, he had moved from her little brother to a high school girls wet dream, let alone somebody would show up on Kasumi's radar… As if he didn't elicit that reaction in half Furikan's population already.

"The nerve of him, Tendo!" A gruff voice braked with indignation, cutting through the idle chit chat that the family had been engaged in. The door opened, admitting one balding, fattened martial artist and his friend, a skinnier, mustachioed man with black hair. "Kicking us out like that!"

"I thought you said you paid off the bar tab, old friend…?" The skinnier man questioned as the two moved deeper into the house and into the sight of the others.

"Well, I, uh… Oh look! You have guests, Tendo!" Genma Saotome dodged the inquiry, successfully diverting his long time friend's attention.

Soun Tendo stopped in the hall and studied the strangers mingling with his family. "It would appear you're correct Saotome." The children were what his eyes fell upon first, noting two his daughters age and a third in his early teens. His expert eye, however, noted they were all martial artists. All the better, a part of his dim thought process noted, always on the lookout for potential suitors for his daughters now that Saotome couldn't hold up his end of their old bargain. Not through any fault of his own, of course. You couldn't ask for anything better than a son who saves the world. The younger boy was too young, the girl was, well, a girl, but the spiky haired red would do just…

"Nodoka-chan, what are you doing here?" Genma blinked, skipping over the strangers directly to his wife, who was presently conversing with a green haired young lady.

"Oh, I'm glad you're home early," Nodoka turned to the new arrivals, motioning the younger lady to her side. "I'd like to introduce you to somebody very important."

Genma's eyes narrowed. She didn't have the honor blade, but she had the smile. That mischievous smile. On average, he didn't like what the smile held in store for him, but it was far too late to extricate himself now. "And who is that?"

"Our daughter in-law!"

Genma blinked and immediacy began to wonder what wild scheme his wife was involved in now. The boy's death had rattled her to be sure, but this was a bit beyond the norm. He studied the woman at her side and wondered how he was going to break the news that there was no husband to be or engagements to be had. "Look, don't know what my wife has told you but there's no way you can be our daughter in-law."

Setsuna blinked innocently. "And why is that… father?"

The bald martial artist winced. Dammit, he was too late and she was too ensnared in his wife's machinations. "Because we don't have a son to be wed to."

"Is that right?"

Genma knew that voice. Knew it well. He spun around and found the visage of his son, older, but his son none the less. There was only one thing that came to mind as he ran into the young man, wrapping him up in a fierce bear hug. "Ungrateful boy! What do you think you're doing, dying like that! You, um, had your mother worried stiff!"

Ranma endured the throttling before breaking the embrace easily, allowing his father to soak in the details. Soun stepped to his side, studying the presumed dead martial artist. "Your son is… grown up, Saotome." He frowned at the implication. On second thought, Ranma wasn't completely outside the range to be engaged to his daughters, specifically Kasumi.

"Indeed he has, Tendo!" Genma grinned from ear to ear, taking the fact that Ranma looked nearly a decade older with a grain of salt, yet another one of the mysterious circumstance that plagued the boy's existence on a daily basis. Then he gained a thoughtful countenance, as if picking up on his friend's concern. In truth, their mental processes were never too far from mirroring one another on a certain topic. "Hmmm, a bit too old to marry your Akane or Nabiki now. I think--"

Ranma stepped back with bland look on his face. "I think you missed an important plot development." Genma and Soun blinked. They had missed something? A green haired young lady stepped up to his side. "My wife Setsuna Saotome."

"How do you do Mister Saotome?" She inclined her head gracefully and it took Genma a moment to recover.

"Well you can always--"

"And our three children Ono, Ranko and Akira." Ranma beckoned their offspring over, who lined up around them. Genma and his partner were left speechless. Ranma was married. With children. How do you force an engagement through that? Luckily, one person had the answer.

"Kasumi will just have to become Ranma's mistress." Nodoka stated with ineffable calm. The reactions varied. Kasumi instantly lapsed into a glowing blush, which might have had something to do with the fantasies creeping into her head. Ranma twitched. No matter how many times this happened, he'd never get used to it. Setsuna simply sighed with a frown. Nodoka's were all the same when it came to the driving need for grandbabies.

"No mistresses, Mom." Ranma replied with a calm born of numerous exposures to this exact same situation. "Got a wife, got kids."

"But…"

"No buts." Ranma stated firmly. It had taken him several realities with Nodoka's single minded focus to build up that level of forceful resistance to his mother's relentless focus, but he had finally developed a healthy resistance to it; even the saddened face that now reflected upon him. Even as Ranma stopped one of the Nermian gears of fate cold, another one loosed itself upon his life once more.

"That's it!" Genma shouted. "Fear not, Tendo, the schools can still be joined!"

All eyes turned on the elder Saotome and Ranma felt the first twinges of fear. Genma's random spurts of inspiration were something to be on guard for. They normally led to random chaos and problems for his son more often then not, and Ranma wasn't looking for any more to call his own.

"Look, Pops…"

"Indeed, Saotome?" Soun leaned forward with interest, ignoring Ranma completely.

"It's right her in front of us, old friend!" Genma smiled confidentially. "Obviously the boy is married. Can't do anything about that… But his son, however…"

Ranma's gut turned to solid ice. Setsuna frowned. How they could not have seen this one coming was totally and completely beyond them. Soun Tendo's blank look persisted for a moment before realization dawned on him. "You're right!" Both parents were now staring intently at the redheaded Ono Saotome.

"What?"

"Run." His father whispered. "Run while there's still--"

"Ono, grandson!" Soun latched on to one arm and Genma latched on to the other. "Am I to understand you're single?"

"Well…?"

"Excellent news, grandson!" Genma piped cheerfully. "You're engaged!"

"WHAT?" Ono shrieked, trying to wrestle his way out of their grip. "How the hell am I engaged! Pop, what the hell? To who!"

"Talk some sense into him before I vaporize them, hun." Setsuna growled, her red eyes flashing with threat.

Ranma took Setsuna's advice to heart. "Look old man, you ain't engagin' nobody agai--"

"To my daughters, of course!" Soun replied happily. "This is my daughter Nabiki, she's eighteen and Kasumi, who is twenty." Soun directed his attention to the girls in question. Nabiki was now staring daggers into her father while Kasumi's mouth simply hung open. "Choose the one you want. She's your fiancée."

The young Ono Saotome was now looking at his grandparent in total disbelief as Nabiki turned to her father. "You know, I think Kasumi would be a much better--"

"Oh no, Nabiki." Kasumi cut her sister off politely before she could get going. "While I want to marry an Ono, I'd prefer mine to be a doctor." She paused, her face turning a bright pink. "Oh my, did I just say that?"

"I'm not marrying a martial arts jock, sister." Nabiki stated.

"Who are you callin' a martial arts jock!" Ono bristled from near by and the grandparents laughed heartily.

"See, old friend?" Genma stated with a wide smile. "They're a perfect couple already!"

"Indeed they are, Saotome!" Soun replied with an equally wide smile.

"Have I ever mentioned that your parents are complete and utter morons, Ran-chan?" Ukyo leaned in and Ranma nodded soberly.

"At this rate, he'll have all my old fiancées engaged to him in no time." Ranma observed dryly as his son and Nabiki argued back and forth.

"Though the red hair does make him kinda cute." Ukyo replied wistfully. "And since I can't have you…" She looked at her best friend, who now wore a horrified expression. She smiled evilly.

"Gotcha."

Ranma shook his head. "That wasn't very nice."

"Consider it payback for hauling off, adding ten years and getting married on me." Ukyo replied with mock indignation.

"You don't know the half of it." Ranma muttered, earning another look from the chef. "Tell you when Akane--"

"We're home!"

"--gets here." Ranma blinked as the familiar voice rang through the air.

Akane Tendo stepped into the room, pausing as she noticed all the people. The tall girl behind her almost ran into her when she stopped and both were now looking around curiously. Ranma paled. It wasn't the sight of Akane Tendo that produced the reaction. No, it was the girl she was holding hands with. She was a tall, busty brunette, the martial artist observed and not just a little on the attractive side.

She was also fully equipped, if memory served.

Akane had yet to catch sight of him, and he turned to his wife, who was barely stifling her giggles. "You didn't…"

"Consider it an early birthday present." Setsuna smiled evilly and Ranma twitched.

"You fixed her up with Makoto Kashiwagi?!" Ranma could barely keep his voice below a squeal.

His wife's evil grin lapsed into a patient smile. "It was the least I could do after having called my husband a pervert so many times." Ranma arched an eyebrow and Setsuna continued happily. "Besides, Makato was probably the best one I could have chosen for her."

"Really." Ranma folded his arms and eyed her skeptically.

"Really." Setsuna stated with pleasant certainty. "You don't even want to know how many boyfriends Akane would have broken if I hadn't--"

"RANMA!"

The martial artist's head turned on a swivel to find Akane Tendo gaping at him. "Hey Akane. What's new?"

"You're alive!" She jumped forward, practically mowing down anybody in her path to the pigtailed man. This ended with the inevitable "GACK!" being squeezed out of him.

"Oof! Now that ain't exactly new, Akane-chan."

Silence pervaded the room as everybody watched the reunion between old friends take place. Akane held on to Ranma for another moment before fully taking in the details of his seemingly impossible change, stating the obvious. "You've… Changed?"

Ranma smirked, glancing over her shoulder to the brunette waiting patiently for an explanation. "And you stole my fiancée."

Akane blushed. "B-Baka."

"Sometimes." Akane turned her attention to the new speaker, the red eyed, green haired woman. "I'm Setsuna Saotome… Ranma's wife."

Akane blinked, looking from martial artist to the woman and back. "Wife?"

Ranma nodded and motioned his children over. "These are my three kids. Ono and Ranko, seventeen and Akira, thirteen." He watched incomprehension spread across her face. "I've been gone twenty year, Akane-chan."

"But you just… We had the funeral…"

"Nope." Ranma explained gently. "We got kicked around on our way back. Took me and Set-chan twenty years and change just to get back to this point."

Akane looked from man to woman. "But… how!"

"I'm Sailor Pluto." Setsuna admitted. "Time travel is one of my gifts."

"You… you married a magical girl!" Akane gasped and Ranma couldn't help but to smile.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Ranma admitted, earning an elbow from his spouse.

"And had kids?" Akane stared at the three, barely comprehending how people who looked her age could possibly be Ranma's kids. The family resemblance was definitely there. The one called Ono had inherited his father's bright red girl-type hair in spikes, but held a lot of the sharper facial features of his mother, as did his sister, who, aside from the slightly off face and green hair, was nearly a mirror of her father's curse. The name Ranko was more than appropriate. Then there was the little one, Akira. That one was a mirror image of his father at thirteen, save the iridescent purple eyes.

"Personally, I can't believe you had three." Ukyo leaned in and Setsuna shrugged.

"I only had two."

Ukyo blinked and the statement hung in the air as the room's occupants digested it. Ranma's eyes flicked over to his wife. "Oh, you just had to bring that up."

"Payback for the age comment earlier." Setsuna smiled as realization dawned on Nabiki first.

"Is she saying…" Nabiki stared at the martial artist, then an evil grin crept to her face. "Oh no. This is too priceless!"

Ukyo watched as the realization found her, then Akane, who was now slack jawed. "You… You, pervert!"

"You sure you're the one to be making that call, A-chan?" Ukyo recovered from her shock, looking at the youngest Tendo, who instantly developed a bright pink blush. Genma gasped and Soun paled slightly.

Akane blushed for a moment, then glared at the chef, "Hey! Don't insult Mako-chan!"

"Me? I never called her a pervert."

Akane looked down, ashamed, for a moment, and softly said, "I was wrong."

Makoto wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and gave her a little squeeze. "It's ok, Akane. I forgave you a long time ago; what you've done for me since then has more than made up for it."

Soun smiled at the depth of emotion between his little girl and her ... signifciant other. Then as Makoto's words echoed through his head, his smile faded, slowly shifting into a frown, and then a slavering maw as he entered full demon-head mode. "What have you been doing to my baby!" he roared.

Makoto gave a little shriek and cowered down, trembling and stammering, "S-scary!"

Fortunately, the demon was banished moments later by a forceful mallet blow to the head and a battle cry of "Daddy! Stop picking on Mako-chan!"

Ranma scratched the back of his head and remarked, "That looked strangely familiar, somehow..."

Nabiki chuckled at the scene and turned to Nodoka with a shark-like grin. "That doesn't sound like a manly martial artist to me."

"On the contrary," The Saotome matriarch corrected. "It's very manly of my son to pleasure his wife in every way shape and form… And make more grandbabies, of course."

Nabiki as a rule didn't blush often. Her profession demanded a poker face at all times. This one time, however, it cracked as her playful barb at Ranma was turned back on her. A quick peek into her mind might have even revealed a little jealousy, because if there was one thing Nabiki was, it was practical. She probably would have put his curse to good use too.

Ono Saotome held up his hand. "More information than I need to know."

"Same here." Ranko blanched.

"Pop ain't no pervert." Akira glared at his Aunt Akane, and she smiled weakly in return.

"Of course he isn't." Akane managed, taking her own dates' hand… A tall, long legged busty brunette. Ukyo was right. She really didn't have any room to talk anymore. "We're all just surprised that he…"

"Adapted to the curse so well?" Ranma finished, eliciting nods from the entire family. "Let's just say I had some help." The sidelong glance back to Setsuna didn't go unnoticed.

"Help?" Akane wondered aloud.

"What sort of… Help?" Ukyo continued, her mind conjuring up images of a green haired whore seducing her best friend.

"You all know the wish I made on that stupid sword, right?" More nods, and Ranma continued. "Well, it wasn't nearly as stupid as we all thought. I found out why I could never get a moment's peace and it was because of her." Ranma jabbed a thumb back at Setsuna who smiled.

"You're wife?"

"Yep." Ranma nodded. "About your time six months ago, she thought I was the bane of human existence. She couldn't kill me so she set about 'occupying' my time."

"True love." Nabiki quipped dryly. Ranma managed to ignore the comment.

"Well, the wish told me all about her and her activities. Everything from assassination attempts to arranging marriages for me." Ranma explained, prompting an 'Oh my' from Kasumi. "That wasn't the problem though. The problem was everything else the wish was doing."

"And what was it doing, Son?" Nodoka inquired curiously.

"Stuffing my brain with the life and times of the Princess of Pluto here." Ranma took the aforementioned princess's hand gently, even as she frowned at the recollection of events. "The wish basically downloaded every memory she had into my brain over a period of six months."

Ukyo shrugged. "So you know her really well. How bad can that be?"

"I'm over three thousand years old." Setsuna stated flatly, cutting off any further questions. "Normal human memory suffers from information decay. Data drop-off. No way could I possibly recall what I was doing 238bc, but the magic Ranma invoked suffered no such restrictions."

"You were chatting with Ptolemy the third." Ranma shrugged and the family looked at him with disbelief. "Having the curse only made it worse. I was going insane for a bit, thinking I was her at times."

"Then how…"

"Did I stay sane?" Ranma asked rhetorically. "Well, my princess here helped out a lot." Nobody missed the affection with which Ranma termed his princess or the blush on her cheeks that followed "And we had help from a Sailor Moon."

"A Sailor Moon?" Kasumi picked up on the subtle twist of grammar in reference to her heroine, and Setsuna fielded the answer.

"Our journey took us to several worlds and across many realities." She explained patiently. It was actually a well rehearsed speech, given how many times they had both been through it. Even the kids were yawning. "Many of those realities bear a close resemblance to this one."

"So you found a Sailor Moon and healed Ranma." Nabiki pushed with no small amount of skepticism. Of course, there was that image with her and cursed sword floating around in her head…

"Yep." Ranma took over. "Wasn't a complete success, but it was enough to maintain my sanity… Not to mention my manhood."

"So what does that have to do with your curse, Ranma-san?" Mako-chan asked politely from behind Akane.

The pig tailed martial artist paused before answering. "The lines blur a bit further."

"Sounds more like mom." Ranko inserted, causing her brother and sister to nod in agreement.

"So three thousand years worth of memories plus your girl-type…" Ukyo theorized, letting the answer drift off unfinished.

Ranma nodded. "I've had plenty of time and opportunity over the last twenty years to come to terms with that part of me. Hell, I don't even consider it a curse any more."

"Obviously not." Nabiki muttered to nobody in particular.

"Luckily, that's all in the past." Soun stated agreeably. "You survived, got married and returned with an honorable way to join--"

A black glow erupted around Ranma and everybody, save his wife and kids took a step back on reflex. A shadow aura rolled around the martial artist, turning him into a black caldron of malcontent, offset only by his sparkling blue eyes. The gold embroiled dragrons on black silk only served to make the effect more surreal.

"I really, really hope the next words out of your mouth weren't going to be 'join the schools'." The shadow Ranma growled with considerable menace. "If you have a question about honor, you'll take it up with me. Not my kids."

A pink flash of light contrasted against the shadows and Ranma was joined by a transformed Sailor Pluto at his side, who flipped the time key through an arc on reflex. "And after my husband is done with you, I get my turn."

Both father figures stepped back once more. "B-but Son!"

"If Ono wants the hand of a Tendo, he can court her like any other boy his age." Ranma's glare burned into his father, who tried to shrink against the far wall. "I won't have you suffocate another relationship with your inane scheming." He let his stare burrow into the pair a bit longer before the shadows faded away. He turned to his mother in a considerably gentler tone. "No mistresses either, Mom."

She waved the comment aside with a smile. "Of course not. I'm more than satisfied with your manly performance."

The blue eyes flicked back to the awe stricken pair. "I've had twenty years to perfect the art, and I guarantee you I'm a grandmaster in every sense of the word. Set-chan here has more than enough power in her little finger to reduce you to cinders. Do yourself a favor and leave it alone."

"Uh, right…" Genma gulped nervously, his friend following suit with an excited nod. Whatever the boy had been doing, his power was easily exceeding that of the old master.

Setsuna studied the sweating pair a moment longer and turned to her husband. "Think they'll listen?"

"Not a chance."

---

Setsuna Saotome watched as the dawn's light filtered across the Tendo dojo property and the man dancing across it. She smiled as her husband flowed through another kata at a fraction of the speed he was capable of producing. Regardless, she knew that this particular exercise wasn't about speed or power. It was about control and centering himself. Quieting the wish borne memories. Kasumi Tendo stepped out into the cool morning air and joined the Princess of Pluto to watch Ranma glide through his practice. To Setsuna's surprise, the eldest sister dipped into a low bow.

"Thank you for bringing Ranma-kun back to us." Kasumi said in a low, reverent voice. "We will always be grateful for that one thing… no matter how some of us act."

"Really, it isn't that--"

"No, it is." Kasumi corrected softly. "Ranma was… is like my little brother. Akane and Nabiki's as well, even if they won't admit it." She looked over to the young man in black, who was now airborne though a near impossible combination kick. "He really has gotten quite good."

"He's the best." Setsuna admitted with a soft smile. "It took me a few years to realize that, but he really is."

"He's been training you." Kasumi stated with certainty, and the green haired princess looked up at her in question. "It's obvious in the way you move."

Setsuna nodded. "And the kids. He's a great teacher. It all seemed to come to the forefront after he received his grand master's rating."

The pair of women watched Ranma for another few minutes before he abruptly paused his exercise, cocking his head curiously. It only took a minute for Setsuna to realize why, as she reached out with her own abilities. Kasumi looked at her curiously.

"Happosai." She grunted. "Must have picked up the power spike Ranma blew off last night." She smiled grimly. "Probably wondering who the guest is."

"Oh my." Kasumi gained a concerned look. "There won't me too much property damage, will there?"

"Hah!" Setsuna laughed. "He'll be lucky if he lasts five minutes against my husband, let alone the time it would take to damage a single blade of grass on your property."

Ranma sighed. "You can stop hiding in the tree, Happosai-sensei."

On cue the tree top rustled and the old master popped out, landing a mere three meters away. "Ranma, m'boy! You continue to surprise me!" He eyed the grown boy carefully. "Back from the dead and with a new found respect for your elders to boot!"

"Good to see you too, Master Happosai." Ranma bowed slightly and Kasumi was a bit thrown by the display of respect.

"It'll become obvious soon enough." Setsuna supplied, and Kasumi settled for a nod.

"My, my, my!" The old man smiled. "You might be trainable after all."

"If you have anything to train me, I'll be more than willing to learn." The martial artist smiled. Across the yard, Genma had frozen in the doorway. Like his son, he was accustomed to getting up early and practicing. What he was unaccustomed to was finding his newly resurrected son squaring off against the Pervert Master.

"Excellent!" The old gnome piped. "After we're done, you can tell me all about how you returned from the dead. First order of business is for you to try this on." Happosai pulled 'this' out, a lacy pink bra. He tossed the offering to Ranma, who caught it easily. The young man examined it and tossed it back.

"Think I'll pass." Ranma shrugged and Happosai began to growl.

"I thought you said you were ready to begin your training!"

Ranma blinked innocently. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but it ain't my type." Happosai blinked with surprise, a sentiment mirrored by his father across the yard. "I'm more into the black stuff personally. See-through and the like, you know?"

Even Kasumi had to blink this time, and Setsuna smiled up at her. "And you think he's kidding."

"Don't screw with me, boy!" Happosai snapped and a palpable wave of power filled the surrounding air. An angry blue glow surrounded the old master. "I felt the spike last night! What have you been up to, Ranma?"

"A little of this, a little of that." Ranma mused, incensing the pervert further. Under normal circumstances, Genma would have intervened to save his son from the massive can of whoop-ass his old master was about to unleash, but today wasn't normal and neither was his son. If the old pervert had seen Ranma's display last night, even he probably would have thought twice in provoking the boy. But as it was…

"Kick his ass, Boy!"

Ranma didn't even turn around as Happosai stared over his shoulder in surprise anger. "I'll deal with you later, Genma! Wear the bra or suffer my wrath, welp!"

Any trace of humor faded away from Ranma's face. What remained was cold and dead. The shadows flickered to life around the martial artist and spread over him like an angry, light absorbing flame. Soon, the only thing remaining was his blue eyes and the silken golden dragons.

"I'll take the wrath."

Happosai stared. In that moment, Ranma could have simply walked over and kicked his butt into low orbit. He knew it, but couldn't help but to stare in shock and awe. The boy was a goddamn reactor of power! The old master couldn't even take a step back he was so enraptured with Ranma's transformation. Even as he watched, air condensed around the martial artist and the ambient temperature dropped. Droplets of moisture spread along the grass around him and the shadow shifted from a masculine form to one far more feminine in nature. Happosai took a step back in dread. The boy had just manipulated the transformation without any external aid! He condensed the air around him, for cryin' out loud!

"Tell you what, master Happosai. We'll do this in my weakest form." The female shadow cracked her knuckles. "But if you've got something to teach me, you'd best bust out with it now."

There was no warning from the old pervert as he blurred in to open the enjgagement. He couldn't afford a warning against that kind of power, and he took the young heir hand to hand with his pipe. Ranma didn't even bother to step into an attack stance, deflecting every single last one of Happosai's high velocity strikes with ease. The master continued to probe what was presumably the pig tailed girl beneath the shadows, only to find an impenetrably wall of movement and deflections. The master disengaged abruptly and pair of bombs were pulled from his personal weapons space, fuses already crackling down. He tossed them in toward the martial artist, who simply let them them bounce off her chest and fall to the ground.

BOOOOoooMMM!

The explosion rocked the neighborhood with a compression wave of sound and light, waking everybody for miles. The combined Tendo and Saotome families were instantly out of their beds, watching the smoke waft away from the unharmed martial artist. While the Tendo's simply stared, Ranma's brood hung their heads and yawned.

"Damn, it's just Pop kicking Happi's butt again."

"I woke up for this?"

"Auntie Kas-chan, can you fix me breakfast?

The remaining family members were treated to Ranma burning the gaping old man down with a stare. There wasn't even a crater on the ground where Ranma was standing, like he had somehow absorbed the entire blast. "Better kick it up a notch, Sensei. I didn't even feel that."

A massive ki ball formed in Happosai's hand and ripped out toward Ranma, who casually defected it with an arm motion. The blue ball of energy arced skyward and promptly exploded, momentarily blotting out the sun for a split second. The martial artist frowned and took a step forward. The old pervert took a step back. "Strike two. Tell you what, old man… Promise not to ever show your face in Nerima again and I won't hurt you too bad."

"I'll show you true power, Boy!" Happosai proclaimed and his battle aura erupted from around him, growing in size. "See if I don't crush you!" The shadow Ranma simply shook her head and stepped up to the growing silhouette and reached into it with a dark gauntlet. As soon as her hand touched the barrier, the glowing blue aura halted its expansion. Happosai's eyes widened even further and the aura he was forcing power into began to shrink.

"Now, now. None of that." The shadow admonished coldly as it siphoned away the old man's power. The shadows around the Saotome seems to grow and lengthen as the aura shrank.

The martial artist seemed to teleport forward abruptly, blasting through what remained of the perverted master's battle aura and imbedding a high powered fist into his gut carrying him skyward. Happosai gained no more than ten meters of altitude before the shadow disappeared again, appearing above the gnome with an axe kick loaded for bear. The leg cracked down into the master's body. He fell to the Earth hard and Ranma fell with him, dark wisps of energy trailing behind her. Happosai fell into the last meter, and the martial artist teleported one last time, catching the gnome before impact. He hung dazed by one of Saotome's hand while shadows snaked around the other, forming into an insubstantial dark blade.

Happosai watched in terror as the swirling point found the space between his eyes. "As of this moment, your ties to the Saotome clan are officially severed. You won't enjoy what'll happen to you if I ever see you again, Sensei."

"Where… where the hell did you learn all that!" Happosai gasped for breath between coughs, occationally accompanied by blood. The shadows dissipated from around Ranma, revealing a redhead far different than he or any of the others remembered. She was a couple inches taller and leaner. Her bust retained the same proportions, but were now offset by a frame of more suitable proportions and height. All in all, Ranma-chan had grown into a fine specimen of woman-hood.

"Simple." She bit with contempt. "You're the one who proclaimed me grand master, sensei."

"I… I never!"

"Well, not you exactly," She amended with a tight smile. "Another, far more honorable Happosai than yourself. And I've only gotten better since then."

"Another… Me?" He sputtered in disbelief as Ranma held him out at arm's length.

"From this point on, neither my father nor the Tendos owe you anything." Ranma explained in that cold tone. "Try to collect or step foot in Nerima, and your ass is mine, understand?" Huge eyes nodded. "Good."

From there, Ranma hauled a foot back and gave Happosai the punt of all punts, a small super sonic shockwave accompanying his journey to low earth orbit. The martial artist watched the tiny point of light fad into the blue sky and nodded with a smile as it disappeared entirely.

"Damn, I do enjoy doing that."

---

"Are you sure they're going to be there?" The blonde odango poked her future daughter on the shoulder, eliciting another nod.

"Of course I am." She reassured Usagi, who was trailing behind her. "'Kira-kun practically lives at the dojo." Chibi Usa added without regard to temporal context, confusing the blonde further.

The pair rounded another corner and walked along a wall to a pair of gates labeled "Tendo School of Indiscriminate Grappling". Usagi Tsukino reached for the bell that hung by wooden sign, only to watch Small Lady push one of the gates open and walk in as if she owned the place.

"Chibi, don't you think we should…?"

"Nah." The pink haired girl shook her head. "Besides, they already know we're here." The questioning look was missed by the girl as they walked across the yard, finding a pig-tailed boy with purple eyes waiting at the house doorway. Usagi made the connection immediately. Akira Saotome… Chibi's boyfriend.

The boy's face broke into a smile on catching sight of the pair. "Hey Uus-chan!" Usagi watched as Chibi calmly walked over with her own smile and planted a kiss on Akira's face, prompting a blush from him. The youngest Saotome recovered quickly, opening the door for the pink haired girl. "You caught 'em just before the trip."

"The trip?" Usagi asked as the stepped inside. Akira nodded.

"To China."

Any response the boy might have had was instantly preempted as Chibi leapt past him toward the two familiar faces Usagi knew all too well, though one and a half would have been a more accurate number.

"Puu!" The girl exclaimed and plowed into the sharply dressed Senshi of Time, who accepted the bear hug easily. "It's good to see you alive again!"

Setsuna smiled hugging the girl. "Good to see you to, Small Lady. That was an excellent performance, I might add."

Chibi glowed with the compliment. "It was all I could do not to spill everything, truthfully."

"Teasing me was a bit over the top though." The redhead next to her, commented, and the girl turn on her, glomping onto the other woman in turn.

"Uncle Ranma-chan!" She gushed, squeezing the redheaded martial artist.

"Yeah, yeah." Ranma rolled her eyes. "You're not getting off that easy."

Usagi simply starred. She couldn't help it. "Just how much did you know!"

Chibi withdrew from Ranma's embrace and put a finger to her mouth, making a big show of her contemplation. "Um, everything!"

The blonde went face first into the floor, but recovered quickly. "And you didn't tell anybody!"

The pink haired developed a frown. "It would have ruined things. I almost had to tell Uncle-chan."

"Serves you right." Ranma sniffed, then smiled at the two decade old recollection of poking Chibi Usa toward the edge of an eight story building ledge. Ah, those were the days.

"And you've changed…" Usagi said, slowly making her way around what was best known as Yumei Ikari's form. Instead of the teen she knew, a woman every bit as exotic and beautiful as Setsuna stood before her. "Chibi explained most of it, but…"

"But it's tough to comprehend how much of a total and complete hottie I've become in six short months, I know." Ranma stated with a sympathy that sounded anything but genuine. Setsuna slapped her now female husband upside the head, while Usagi nearly puked over the unabashed display of vanity. ""Ow. Yeah, I look so good now, it hurts. Literally..." she added, rubbing the back of her head. "Time dilatation will do that to you."

"Time diahuh?" Usagi parroted dumbly and Ranma smiled.

"A phenomenon under which the time rate of a remote or moving clock is different from that of local clocks, usually due to near light speed travel or temporal folding." Ranma explained conversationally, missing Usagi's look or that of Nabiki, who had paused in the stairway. She was looking down at her as if she had grown a second head.

"What, a new body and brains to match, Saotome?" She quipped as she stepped down to their level.

Ranma didn't even acknowledge the barb and shrugged. "Already told you. Set-chan's memories integrate better with my girl-type."

"And you don't feel like changing back?"

Ranma shook her head. "Not particularly. I've had twenty years to get used to things. It's clothing more than anything else these days." She paused, cocking her head. "That, and we have business to attend to."

Nabiki's ears perked up. "Business?"

"Amazon business." Setsuna clarified, and Nabiki let out a silent "oooh." That was a business venture she didn't want any particular part of. China was as close as she wanted those people right about now.

Usagi looked at the pair of women. "So when are you going?"

Ranma looked at Setsuna, who shrugged. "No time like the present."

---

"I challenge that dainty one!" A blue haired woman called from the crowd, prompting Setsuna and Ranma to look at one another.

"Are you 'dainty'?" Ranma blinked at his wife, who only managed to arch an eyebrow.

"I thought she was talking to you, hun." Setsuna replied, and both turned back to the speaker, an over masculine woman with a short crop of blue hair dressed in fine Chinese silks. Notable beyond her exceptional masculinity was the fine scar running down one eye. She scowled at the evident confusion.

"The green haired one!" She clarified and Ranma shrugged. "Come forth and face a true warrior!" Ranma rolled her eyes and stepped aside. Setsuna stifled a chuckle and responded in fluent Chinese.

"No." The mob of Amazons surrounding her rippled with anger and she let them stew a second longer before continuing. "Do you seriously think I would accept a challenge under such unfavorable conditions?"

"And what do you consider 'favorable conditions'?" The Amazon hissed back.

"Oh, I dunno…" Ranma rolled her eyes while caressing her long pigtail. "Maybe an outcome that doesn't end in my wife being hunted to the ends of the earth?"

The word 'wife' echoed through the curious crowd of warriors and neither woman made any effort explain themselves. Instead, Setsuna issued her own challenge. "I invoke the Rite of Equals."

Silence pervaded the Amazon mob of women and a grey haired elder, no more then three foot tall, stepped forward. The blue robed elder stabbed her smooth wooden cane into the earth and studied the foreigners carefully. "You knowledge of Amazon law is impressive." The woman crackled, then smiled grimly. "I would assume then you know what will happen when you lose?"

"Slavery and death are overrated." The Princess of Pluto returned, but the old woman's smile persisted.

"And the young ones behind you?" She looked over the Senshi's shoulder to Ono, Ranko and Akira.

"Death." Ono shrugged.

"Same here." Ranko nodded with a smile.

"Mom's gonna kick your butt." Akira stated matter-of-factly.

The elder couldn't help but to admire the courage of the children… She eyed the two women. Their children? If they could be taken alive, they would make excellent stock for the tribe. But there was something she was missing here. Two women and three children just don't stumble upon the doorstep of the Joketsuzoku looking for a fight. That, and they knew entirely too much about Amazonian law for comfort. Still, she was a female and the Rite of Equals was her right…

"So be it. The Rite of--"

"I have conditions." Setsuna interrupted. "If I should win, the rite would apply to my entire family. No challenges, no schemes to integrate us into the tribe."

"Unless your warriors are writing checks their asses can't cash." The grinning redhead behind her added offhandedly, incensing the mob further.

The old woman growled, marring the ground with the end of her cane. She wasn't sure of the complete meaning of the bothersome redhead's words, but it was almost certain to be an insult. "I assure you that my sisters in arms are quite capable of their victory over your dainty mate."

"I believe the phrase is 'talk's cheap'." Setsuna replied, earning a razor edged look from the old woman.

"Qiu Tiep! Step forward!" The blue haired Amazon came through the crowd, stopping next to the diminutive elder, who then turned to the crowd. "This is the Rite of Equals, to the death as decided by the victor. Should the newcomer prevail, tribal immunity shall be granted to the entire family. If they lose, their lives are forfeit." She paused and the crowd formed a circle around the combatants. "Combat is hand to hand. Beyond this restriction, anything goes."

"Anything goes?" Ranko smiled.

"They're so screwed." Ono grinned ferally.

"Begin!"

The Amazon didn't even bother taking the time to size up her opponent and instead opted for blitzkrieg-style tactics, rushing in at high speed in order to crash through any defense the green haired woman might attempts. Setsuna evade the initial flurry of punches and kicks with easy, keeping pace with the furious Amazon as she switched styles on the fly.

"Over-extended punch."

"Too soft."

"Good combination."

"Sloppy foot work."

"Don't leave your guard down."

"Very nice."

"Missed opening."

Qiu Tiep's ire continued to build through the woman's running commentary. Worse yet, it was accurate. Nothing was penetrating the woman's defense and anything that wasn't dodged outright was quickly and efficiently deflected. Even with the deflections, the Amazon was getting the distinct impression that the long haired woman was barely paying attention to her efforts. Qiu Tiep was willing to settle for merely breaking the woman, but now… now it was time to crush the life out of her. The redhead would make a good servant. She disengaged, switching stances into one favoring shiatsu pressure-point combat. The woman simply stood there in an open stance, and this time, Qiu Tiep wasn't fooled, and gathered her energies for a chestnut fist burst of speed.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The Amazon shot forward and the points of her fingers arced in on a graceful line. The woman closed to blank range and initiated the blurring technique. " Kachu Tenshin---!

Snap.

"AAAiiiEEEHHeeE!"

The blue haired woman disengaged abruptly, rolling right with the momentum and recovering into a crouch, favoring her right hand. A quick examination revealed the obvious-- Every finger was broken, and she hadn't even seen the bitch move to intercept the strike.

The Senshi of Time gazed upon her opponent with sympathy. "Told you so."

The Amazon gritted through the pain and anger fueled her resolve. She didn't want to have to use such a high level technique on the woman so early, but it was obvious this foreigner was holding back. With that thought in mind, she dug deep into her ki stores and initiated the Soul of Ice. This time was for real.

Back the dojo, Akane Tendo sneezed.

Qiu Tiep launched forward, reengaging Setsuna. Unlike before, however, she had no intention of actually tangling with the newcomer. Instead, she concentrated on drawing the green haired woman into a spiral, using her hot ki as the catalyst to her doom. Punch. Kick. Kick. Kick-punch. Punch. Step, step, step. It was perfect, she thought as she fell into the pattern drilled into to her so many years ago. With the power the newcomer was emanating now, she would be dead before she cleared the treetops. Only a few more steps.

Now.

The blue haired Amazon spun around, ready to step into the spiral's center, only to find a pair of hard red eyes staring back at her. "What the---!"

"Seriously now. That was one of the first techniques my husband taught me."

The classic right hook ripped in at high speed, snapping the Amazon's head around with ferocity. It was quickly accompanied by a sharp snap as the heel of her foot found the Amazon's kneecap, displacing it painfully. Qiu Tiep sank to the ground and Setsuna grabbed a flailing arm, pulled it past her body and snapped it at the elbow. Her screams of pain were interrupted only by the grunt that accompanied her face hitting the dirt.

"Well that was predictable." Ranma deadpanned, while Setsuna looked over her twitching opponent.

The elder stood stunned for a moment before entering the circle of battle, warily to inspect her tribal sister. The girl wouldn't be getting up any time soon, probably for weeks. If she walked normally again, it'd be a miracle. Qiu Tiep was one of the best warriors in the tribe, and she had gone down far to easily. It could only mean one thing… The Joketsuzoku had just been sandbagged.

"Well?"

The tribal elder looked up at the red eyed woman and snarled. "I consider the Rite null and void! The Joketsuzoku do not take kindly to being tricked."

Setsuna frowned. "And just who tricked you?"

"You and your brood!" She snapped back. "You are fortunate we don't simply eliminate you outright for maiming one of our own."

"It's not our fault you entered into an official challenge against somebody not only better than you, but smarter as well." Ranma shook his head in exaggerated disappointment and looked over her shoulder. "What's the first rule of battle, 'Kira?"

"Know your opponent, Pop!"

Ranma shrugged, turning back to the elder. "See? Even my thirteen year old son knows that. What's your excuse?"

"I will not suffer your impertinence, witch!" She brought the staff up to challenge Ranma and Setsuna, while her maidens fell into flanking positions around her. "You should feel fortunate that we'll only kill you and your harlot, green one. Your children will make excellent additions to the tribe."

"Fat chance." Ono Saotome replied, lighting off a bright blue aura of power.

"Don't think so." Ranko Saotome agreed, and erupted into a golden glow.

"Told ya we'd kick your butts." Akira Saotome cracked his knuckles as a purple aura swirled around him.

Black shadow engulfed Ranma Saotome and his wife flashed pink, processing the transformation into her fuku armor. The family collected into a tight group and it was all the Elder could do to hold her ground against the massive wave of power blasting across her like the winds of the Sahara. She tore her eyes off the collective group to focus on the green hair woman staring down on her with lethal intent.

"Who… just who the hell are you!"

Setsuna Saotome dropped into a slight curtsy. "I'm Sailor Pluto, Guardian of Time, at your service." The elder hissed, taking a reflexive step back. The demoness that had plagued their tribe for the last thousand years had returned! Still, she had to know the whole truth. "And you?"

"Ranma Saotome, Grand Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts." The Old woman could barely contain her horror as the redhead jabbed a thumb at a distant mountain range. "You know… fought the winged guy over there on the mountain? You may have heard of me."

"No… you…you're dead!"

"Let me show you my references." The shadowy redhead reached into weapons space and pulled the individual staves, the Gekkaja and Kinjakan from storage. The armed crowd around them back up another step at the sight of Saffron's keys of ascension. The woman then condensed the moist air around her with cold ki and flash heated it, activating the curse. A now male Ranma twirled the staves around, demonstrating the lethal precision with which he could wield them. "Any more questions?"

The Elder gawked. It was all she could do. Literally. It no longer matter how good her and her sisters were. The kids alone could probably wipe out her front lines given the power they were radiating, let alone the parents. They… They could annihilate the entire village without breaking a sweat, she suspected, and there was only one course available to her besides a suicidal attempt on their lives.

"What… What are your demands?" She gulped nervously, lowering her eyes to the ground as though she was not worthy to look upon them. She wasn't. She knew it. The remaining Amazons followed suit.

"That's better." Setsuna smiled pleasantly. It was the sort of smile alligators gave small animals that wandered too close to the waters edge. "Your show, honey."

Setsuna stepped aside and the shadows slowly dissipated from around Ranma. His blue eyes scrutinized every inch of the elder and she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "What is your name?"

"Du Shu, Saotome…sama." Ranma simply nodded as if the honorific was expected.

"You're the Elder of this tribe's council?" He probed, and she nodded an affirmative.

"Not any more." The old woman blinked. "I didn't come all the way out to China to play hide and go seek, Cologne-sensei. Come on out."

Du Shu's eyes widened and she snarled. "That woman is a failure! She has no rights--!"

The death that danced in Ranma's blue eyes stopped her cold. "And why is that?"

It was only then that the old woman realized just what an epic corner she had painted herself and the tribe into. Du Shu's next words were whispered with trepidation. "She failed to return with you…"

"Mm hmm." Ranma nodded as a staff-bound Cologne hopped up to the family, Shampoo in tow. The martial artist frowned. While they had obviously endured their fall from grace with honor, their external appearance spoke volumes. Cologne even looked slightly older and the world had obviously forced Shampoo to grow up just a little faster. A certain spark was gone from both their eyes. He turned back to the deposed elder, displeasure evident on his face. "Looks like her mission was a success after all."

Du Shu knew she was on perilous ground now, but was determined not to go down without a fight. "Oh? I seriously doubt you'll cast aside your mate for an Amazon wife. In that, Cologne has still failed."

The green robed woman balanced evenly on her cane chuckled softly. Du Shu turned to find a mischievous smile inhabiting her predecessor's lips. "Well played, great grandson. Well played."

"What was well played?" The ex-Elder growled looking from Ranma to Cologne and back. She didn't appreciate being the bunt of joke.

"Only that you've taken care of that quite handily." Ranma pointed out with his own mischievous grin. "I believe when my wife won, she also won tribal immunity for the entire Saotome clan thanks to you. Me included."

"What? I…! No! That isn't…!"

"Not only that," He pressed. "I believe it was you who broke your honor bound pledge to hold up that agreement."

"But…!"

"Not to mention being so criminally negligent as to pit your one of your sisters up against an opponent she couldn't possibly prevail against." Setsuna added, and Du Shu's face drained of color. "With leaders like you, your tribe really doesn't need enemies like us."

"Make yourself scarce, witch." Ranma glared into the failed leader, who seemed to shrink into her own body.

"As… as you wish, Ranma-sama." With that, the woman shuffled away, leaving the Saotome family, Cologne and Shampoo in the center of the crowd.

"I am… Impressed is a vast understatement, Saotome-san." Cologne admitted, scrutinizing a Ranma several years older than she remembered.

Ranma waved the compliment aside as Shampoo inspected him as well. It was amazing enough that she refrained from glomping him outright. "Grandson is fine by me." He admitted, his attitude softening considerably.

"It is really you, Aire-- Ranma?"

Ranma nodded, and proceed to introduce his family and Cologne arched an eyebrow as they all referred to her as 'grandmother' quite comfortably "Tell ya about it later." was the martial artist's only explanation. Cologne nodded soberly. Ranma was married to the tribe's nemesis, older and had three kids. She would be damn certain he would tell her later.

Interesting times, indeed.

"Shampoo darling!" The white-robbed boy came tumbling out of a nearby shack and past the entire family, stooping next to a barrel. "I thought you had gone off and--"

"MOUSSE-HONEY!"

The raven haired boy didn't even have time to don his glasses before being line tackled by a green haired pigtailed girl. "Ooooh! I missed you so much!"

Mousse struggled to free himself as the unknown girl pinned him to the ground, showering him with kisses. "Who… Who the hell are you? I don't even know you!"

Ranko Saotome paused in her ministrations, looking at the boy curiously. "You don't know, do you?" Mousse shook his head wildly no. "Oh darn. Looks like I'll just have to retrain you all over again."

The struggle resumed and Cologne nearly fell off her stick at the sight. She turned to Ranma, who was simply shaking his head. "I honestly don't know what she sees in that boy."

"Hush, honey." Setsuna poked him. "Don't you know, its love?"

Ranma rolled his eyes and Cologne could only twitch.

---

Ranma and Setsuna Saotome watched the last rays of afternoon light stream through the bamboo poles of Jusenkyo, its light refracting off the cursed pool in a natural display of beauty, as the sun sank into mist covered Bayankara Mountains. The Princess of Pluto snuggled in close and Ranma's arm fell around her waist.

"Brings back the memories, y'know?" The Grand Master mused, picking out one particular bamboo pole from the rest.

"Not all of them bad, I hope."

Ranma looked over to find Setsuna's mischievous smile playing across her lips. "One of these days I'll find that stash of instant boy Nannichuan of yours."

"And then what?" The Princess challenged playfully and Ranma made a show of concentrating on the dilemma.

"Nevermind that."

"Thought so." She snorted and returned to the view.

"No, not all of them bad." Ranma returned to the original question. "Not bad at all." He lingered over the memories a bit longer then turned back to his wife. "Ono is gonna have his hands full, though."

Setsuna frowned. "I thought he was immune the kiss protocols."

"He is," Ranma replied. "That's not stopping all the girls from fighting each other for a chance to date him, however."

"Oh God." His wife simply shook her head at the mental image. "Any front runners?"

"Shampoo, of course." Ranma smiled wickedly while Setsuna rolled her eyes at the news, but couldn't help but to chuckle. They both lapsed into a moment of amused contemplation as the sun sat, before Ranma broke it once more.

"So what are you going to tell Usagi? She's gonna ask sooner or later."

"About Crystal Tokyo?" Ranma nodded. Setsuna shrugged. "I'll just tell her it's no longer attainable and we'll have to find another solution."

Ranma nodded thoughtfully, then smiled. "So you're going to lie to her."

"Not at all." Setsuna corrected with mirth. "Without my help, it isn't attainable. The best course of action isn't always right course of action. You helped me see that." Ranma nodded once more and remained silent.

"So you're gonna lie to her."

Setsuna smiled. "Let's just say what she doesn't know, won't hurt her."

End.

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Author's notes;

I had a good deal of writer's block on this story, namely in bringing all the elements together. When I get writer's block, I move on to other stories, Heir to the Empire being a primary result of that :p For those wondering, this is the "original" ending I've had since day one, with X2 being an alternate timeline.

See series ANs for further details.

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Corrections; Ranma's trip originally lasted 18 years. I cite Ono as being 18 years old. This creates a situation where Ranmaevidentally hopes in the sake rather quickly. Ono's age adjsuted to 17, trip adjusted to twenty years and Ranma's real age to 38.