Here I am again in this mean old town
And you're so far away from me
And where are you when the sun go down?
You're so far away from me
...
Deeks was tired. As he lay in bed that night, he let his mind wander. It had been a long, grueling day, made even worse by his lack of partner. He didn't like that she was so far away, and that he had no idea what she was doing over there, or even why she had been sent to Afghanistan in the first place. In fact, he downright hated it. And everybody knew.
He fretted over it, worrying constantly. What if something happened to her? What if she got hurt? Captured? Killed? Everyone told him to relax, calm down, that Kensi was a big girl who could take care of herself. And Deeks knew that, but it didn't put his mind at ease. At all.
His days were filled with constant dread that just sat in the pit of his stomach, cold and heavy, not going away. He feared for his partner's life. He just had this feeling that something was going to go wrong. Something was going to happen to her, and maybe she wouldn't make it home.
The list of bad things that could happen was endless, and was constantly on his mind. And even though he wouldn't say it, it hurt him that everybody else had their partners, and he didn't. Sam had Callen, Callen had Sam. Eric had Nell, Nell had Eric. He knew there was nothing that could be done about it, and he shouldn't be jealous.
He rolled over in his bed, looking at the empty spot where Kensi should have been. He remembered that first night. It had been amazing. And he felt himself longing for her even more now. But she was so far away, so, so far away. Nearly unreachable, especially for Deeks, because he wanted to know Kensi's location right down to degrees, minutes, seconds, but in reality, he didn't even know what Afghani city she was in, or even if she was in a city at all.
That one text he had sent her, the picture of him in his suit, and the picture she had sent him, the one of her in her desert gear, hadn't been enough. That one SAT phone call at Christmas time had meant the world to him, but after they had hung up, his heart had ached.
It ached even more now. He just longed to hold her in his arms, hold her forever, telling her that he would protect her always. Because that was his job. And now she was too far away to do so.
Deeks sighed and tugged his blanket close around him, clutching it to his chest. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, silently crying himself to sleep.
...
I'm tired of bein' in love and bein' all alone
When you're so far away from me
I'm tired of makin' out on the telephone
'Cause you're so far away from me
You're so far away from me