We're starting to enter heavy spoiler territory with this chapter. I say starting because there are only a few hints here as to what we're learning in the most recent manga chapters (292 currently). So if you're a reader and you're not up to date with the very latest manga chapters, then read with caution. Spoilers abound in the coming chapters.
Otherwise, please continue to read and review. I value your feedback and look forward to hearing more.
-sor
There's an old saying that dictates time passes quickly when one is happy and though I had never admitted, even to myself that I was particularly happy, I cannot argue that time did indeed pass quickly. Perhaps it felt this way because by in large, Konoha remained unchanged, at least fundamentally. True, Tsunade had left us years ago, taking with her that Shizune girl. No one spoke of her often and I think I came to prefer it that way. She and I had only begun to drift further apart as time wore on and I had been almost glad to see her go. It meant I would no longer have to deal with her disapproving glances.
Still, it was a shame to lose her. She was the last of Shodai-sama's line and she carried with her a strong bloodline that would likely be lost with her. It would have been a boon to Konoha had she bothered to reproduce, at least in order to pass on the abilities unique to her line. But perhaps there were other ways to preserve the blood that founded our village.
As the years passed I began to notice all those little things that one doesn't pick up on as they occur. Only after so much time had passed did I notice that Sandaime had developed more pronounced lines in his face. Somehow in the midst off all those years he had slipped into middle age and I was well past thirty. In fact, I was nearer to forty than I would have liked to admit.
It was then that I began to look back on my life and wonder what was it I had truly accomplished. What kind of mark had I left on Konoha? What had I done that would make me remembered long after I lay dead? Remembered like men remembered Shodai-sama and Nidaime. There was nothing.
What was it I had always told Jiraiya? Knowledge is infinite, but a human life is not.
It was as if a sudden weight had fallen heavily upon my shoulders. I was past my prime. I had wasted the best years of my life being content only with the scraps I was able to obtain through Sarutobi-sensei or through what scrolls I could find. There was knowledge in this world not contained in any scroll and what had I done to pursue it? What a waste of my genius! It was then, in my thirty-sixth year, that I became discontent once more. It was as if I could hear the ticking of the clock with every step I took. I could feel every moment of my life slipping away as every moment I grew older and more worthless. At thirty-six, I felt fifty. All my ambition had been wasted on dreams of attaining rank and with rank, knowledge. All those dreams of becoming Hokage and opening my eyes to all matter of forbidden knowledge became a vast chasm of nothingness. All my dreams had become worthless, just as I had. A bitter man, old before his time.
Years that had seemed to pass pleasantly before seemed more and more now an endless cycle of monotony. Every year came a new batch of genin and every year Jiraiya urged me to train a team, even after his own team had grown and left him behind. Even after his stupid monkey brat had a team of his own. But still, I had no desire to waste my time on a team of misfit children, especially now when I could practically feel the passage of time reverberating through my bones with every tick of the clock. I had let time slip away and it was painfully clear to me now, especially when I looked at Jiraiya's brat, whom had seemed only yesterday to be toppling from stone walls in a vain attempt to impress a girl.
I was the only one who still thought of him as a stupid brat. They called him the Yellow Flash now and the village took more than their fair share of delight from watching him grow. Sandaime was quite impressed with the boy, but that came as no surprise. Even I had to admit, stupid brat that he was, our beloved Yellow Flash had become much more impressive than I might have ever guessed. He had managed to learn Jiraiya's Rasengan with what passed for little difficulty. He had even developed a technique of his own: Shunshin no jutsu, an instant teleportation that allowed him to cross any distance in an instant. Hence the moniker Yellow Flash.
Of course, all of this only left me more embittered. Certainly I had created jutsu of my own, but they were minor and nothing quite so attention grabbing as Shunshin or Rasengan. My jutsu had always been practical, made for a specific use, but Jiraiya was still the show off he'd always been and that damn Rasengan of his was a perfect example of that. It was flashy and showy and the village absolutely adored a good show. It was qualities like that he passed on to his student. The more visually impressive one was, the more popular he would become and I had never been visually impressive, despite my unrivaled genius.
As things turned out, in what seemed the exact moment my ambition of becoming Hokage waned, Sandaime announced his eminent retirement. He said he'd been Hokage for far too long now and it was time to pass his duties on to someone younger and more capable. So it finally seemed as if after waiting so many years, I would finally get the acknowledgement that I so richly deserved.
But, Sarutobi-sensei thought I was unfit to follow him as Hokage. I should have seen such an insult coming, but I was blinded by some ridiculous sense of affection for the man whom I had called master. What a fool I had been to think that anyone in this backwards little village could ever understand what true strength was? They did not know half of what I was capable of and yet only half my effort would be enough to best Jiraiya's monkey brat with the very tip of my little finger.
And they named that brat Yondaime. That little brat who was nothing more than a less distracted version of Jiraiya. A brat that shared the perverted tendencies of his demented sensei. What kind of man was he to be given such power? Konoha had gone mad!
When the news was announced, I said nothing. I allowed the fools to celebrate and congratulate the boy, though I could not help but notice how Sarutobi-sensei avoided my gaze as if a mere glance would kill him. Perhaps his fear was grounded in reality, for I do not think anyone could have looked into my gaze that night and lived to tell of it.
Anyone, that is, except Jiraiya.
Jiraiya was the only one brave enough to seek me out after I had fled the crowds. He approached me not long after I had taken my perch at the edge of the Hokage monument, my feet balanced on the outermost edge of Sandaime's sculpted head. Perhaps subconsciously it felt nice to be able to tread upon him. He who had betrayed me.
I could feel the slight shift in the air that told me I was no longer alone. Jiraiya was making no attempt to hide his presence, though he said nothing for some time, merely hovering behind me as if he were afraid to draw nearer or to turn away. Finally, unable to stand the silence myself, I spoke. "Shouldn't you be elsewhere congratulating your brat?"
"We'll have our own fun later once all the old geezers have gone to bed. Not a good idea to talk about things like that in front of them. Might be bad for their hearts." There was nothing in his voice to indicate he felt even an ounce of the tension in the air, but I on the other hand felt nearly overwhelmed by it. It was heavy and suffocating, hardly even altered by Jiraiya's poor attempt at humor.
"I do hope you enjoy yourselves. It will be a pleasant memory for you to cling to once he is gone." I made the threat purposefully ambiguous. I was certainly a better ninja than Jiraiya, but I did not wish to test that theory in a real conflict. I had never been on the receiving end of Rasengan and it was not a pleasure I wished to have.
Despite popular opinion, Jiraiya was no fool, and he did not miss the underlying threat against his student. As often as he indulged my moods, I sensed he wasn't going to let such a thing go so easily. Still, he didn't respond right away, letting that heavy silence grow thicker between us. When he finally did speak, any hint of the good cheer he'd shown earlier in the evening was gone. "What did you expect to happen?"
"You know very well what I expected. I expected to be granted my hard earned due."
"Your due?" There was a fragment of the usual humor there for an instant. "You and I both know you only wanted it to gain access to the forbidden scrolls. That and to validate your high opinion of yourself." Never had Jiraiya been so harsh with me, though I am certain he thought such things more than once and only been too afraid to voice it. I learned later that there had been many things Jiraiya had kept hidden from me all those years. Conversations shared with Sandaime regarding my mental stability, of all things. And if not that, they discussed my ruthless ambition and their baseless worries that I would cause harm to the village. Traitors.
"My opinion of myself needs no validation, especially not from you, Jiraiya. My strength is not questionable, nor is my capacity for knowledge. Both are qualities found in abundance in a proper Hokage. Your brat is hardly more than twenty and lacking in more ways than one." I had the upper hand in the argument. Of that I was certain. There was no way Jiraiya could argue against pure fact.
"You're the only one who thinks so." I heard his heavy footfalls as he stepped closer, finally coming to a stop at my side, quite the brave move when, given my current mood, I was just as likely to push him over the edge as I was to welcome him. "So the only thing to do now is get over it. Or do you intend to keep pouting like a child?"
To be called childish by a man such as Jiraiya set my blood to boiling. If it would not have been a confirmation of his words, I would have struck him then. I remained still, though, only imagining the many ways I could deal him harm. I chose, though to do harm in the safest possible way: verbally. "Ambition does not vanish when it strikes a roadblock. If I were to become complacent now, I would hardly be able to call myself a ninja. Besides, only time will tell if the monkey brat will serve us well. I predict Sandaime will come to regret making such an… uninformed decision. A decision based on favoritism shared between perverts."
"Now that's going too far, Orochimaru…" I wasn't exactly sure if he defended Sarutobi or their shared perversions. Both seemed equally likely.
"Is it?" The laughter that followed my question caused him discomfort. I could tell by the way he cast that sidelong glance my way and by the way his brow creased. He was considering how far he wished to push me. Good. Let him worry over it until he made himself sick.
He found his courage soon enough, though. "He was Sandaime's choice. That's the end of it. You shouldn't question him. He is still stronger than you. And so is Yondaime."
When Jiraiya called that brat Yondaime, it shattered whatever sense of friendship I still might have held for the man that evening. He sensed it too and I could sense in him that he was fully prepared for an explosion. Perhaps he didn't know me quite as well as he thought. I didn't explode. I didn't even show the barest hint of anger. I only nodded and addressed him in a tone one might use when indulging a child in his silly games of make believe. "Of course."
I was only paying half a mind to Jiraiya at that point, having convinced myself that no amount of talk would close the vast rift opening between us. I also found that I was not the least bit bothered by that fact. I had no desire to rekindle whatever bond of camaraderie he and I had shared as children.
It was then, for the first time in my long career as a ninja, that I entertained the thought of taking on my own students. I had seen clearly the bonds of loyalty that had formed between Sandaime and Jiraiya and where it led them, to the promotion of Jiraiya's best student. And I saw how vehemently Jiraiya defended Sandaime. The young cub protecting its aging father.
I longed for loyalty like that. Certainly I could find some young monster willing to fight and die all for my ambition. Some brat I could mold into my own distinct vision of strength. Someone to work at my side towards achieving my goals.
Someone stronger than Jiraiya's monkey brat.
It was later in that year that Yakushi Kabuto came to Konoha, the brooding, bitter child of a fallen enemy. Never doubt that I have a keen eye for talent.