Hogwarts Idol
By hedwigmail
A/N: I know a bit longer in between posts but hey it's the school year now. Anyway, I made the school soccer team (something I did not think I could do) and I'm going to try out for the musical (Cinderella :Gag:) soon and I hope to get into that. BTW, did I mention that soccer meets every weekday afternoon for 2 hours? Pure Insanity!
I totally forgot to do a disclaimer in my past few chapters, so here it is:
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Harry Potter! Notta. Zip. N/A. You get my drift... Anyway, I also have to use a disclaimer for the songs I used in the chapter before the last chapter so here are the songs I don't own:
Hey Ya! By OutKastRich Girl By Gwen Stefani
1985 By Bowling For Soup
Boulevard of Broken Dreams By Green Day
This Love By Maroon 5
Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne
Okay, Now On with the story!
Previously on HI:
"No. How about 'the head girl and boy kick butt'? Is that okay with you?"
"I guess, but I don't like the part about you kicking butt. Wait. Whose butt?"
"Harry's, Ron's, your's, EVERYBODY'S!" Hehe. I kick butt!
"You're scaring me."
"I tend to do that to people. Anyway, our password is the 'the head girl..."
Cough.
"...and boy kick butt."
The portrait swung open and we stepped into our new common room.
There was only one word that could describe it.
"Wow."
Chapter IV: Down With Deathmunchers
First Person (Hermione):
The Common Room was amazing. Think Slytherin and Gryffindor Common Room's put together and on modernized steroids; but here the steroids aren't a bad thing and actually increase the value and quality of this glorious thing!
I could die.
In fact I think I will.
And with that, I fell into a heap, on the floor.
"Mudblood? Are you okay?"
"No. I'm dyeing."
"Um... Okay... What should I do?"
"I dunno... Get away. LET ME DIE!" That's right you evil little deathmuncher. Did I just say deathmuncher?
Nope.
I didn't say deathmuncher. I thought it. Hehe. So I still sound perfectly cool.
"Hm. Coming from a Gryffindor, that sounds oddly appealing..." Draco replies with a really, really handsome smug smile on his face...
Hold the phone. Why am I thinking of how hot he is if he's perfectly will to let me die! Son of a bi-
"Oh. Wait a second. If I let you die I'd have to plan everything by myself, wouldn't I? Merlin, that would suck. Okay, so you can't die or else I would be stuck with a lot of work, and that's not right cuz you're the one who's supposed to be doing all the work." God. What is he so high on that he thinks he's gonna get away with that?
"Was that an insult or a compliment?"
Draco shrugged and retaliated, "Don't know. Don't care. Night." With that, he started walking towards the modern looking spiral staircase in the middle (yes, middle) of the room.
What the heck is anything modern doing in Hogwarts?
Holy crap.
The whole room is modern!
Wait...
How did I not notice that when I was saying how beautiful it was?
Wow. I'm really stupid. Like Ron-level stupid.
"Hello? HELLO? GRANGER? CAN - YOU - HEAR - ME?" Draco... No, Malfoy... Aw, screw it. As long as I don't call him a pet name or deathmuncher, I'll get out of this scar (and/or boil) free.
Anyway, Draco was standing halfway up the staircase and looking down at me.
"WHAT?" I yelled back. That boy really has to control his temper. God! He'll kill someone sooner or later.
Oh wait.
He's already gonna do that anyway.
"ARE YOU COMING?" We should all take a moment right now and be really glad that no one lives near us! We'd be killed, and their eardrums will be blown ten times a day.
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO WITHOUT ME?"
"THERE ARE COMPLICATIONS!"
"OKAY. BUT, WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING?"
"I DON'T KNOW! BECAUSE YOU'RE AN EVIL LITTLE, STUPID MUDBLOOD?"
"WAIT, WHAT? OH NEVER MIND. WE SHOULD STOP!"
"STOP WHAT?"
"YELLING!"
"YOU FIRST!"
"WHY ME? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED IT!"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE THE 'SMART ONE' AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO STOP!"
"THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME AND STOP YELLING!"
"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO!"
"FINE! THEN I WON'T GO UP THERE UNTIL YOU STOP YELLING!"
"OH, COME ON, PLEASE GRANGER? I'M HAVING TROUBLE!"
"WHAT, YOU CAN'T GO UP THE STAIRS?"
"YES AND NO."
"God you're a loser. Okay I'll come." (A/N: I am fully aware of how they just sounded like five-year-olds. That's partially because I stink at writing arguments (don't worry, I'll try to get better) and partially because I'm in the middle of reading a story in which, all the sixth years, get turned into five year olds. That includes Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco. So, I'm sorry for how lame that might have just sounded. If you don't think it sounded lame, then yay for you.)
So I took the last few steps across the Picasso-like carpet (yes I said Picasso, as in discombobulated eyes; more than two; and ears and noses and everything! Too - many - body - parts.) and trudged up the stairs to where Draco was standing.
There seemed to be a sign in front of him, at about the level of his hips. The sign was on a thick, gold chain that made a barrier that neither could walk through. Unfortunately, Draco was currently standing in front of the sign so I couldn't see what it said.
"Malfoy," YES! "Move your fat arse."
"Excuse me? My arse is not fat. My arse is wonderfully perfect, thank you very much."
"Oooookkkkkaaaaayyyyy. You just keep thinking that. Unfortunately, your," Air quotes please, "'Wonderful Arse,'" Thank you very much, "Is in my way so MOVE IT!" Hehe. I scared him again. Look, he's cowering.
Draco slowly backed his "breathtaking hinnie" (A/N: I think some of you guys are probably like "Why the heck is hedwigmail talking about butts when she should be working on the plot?" Well the answer is we all need some humor and somehow, it just ended up talking about butts, so whatever. Plus that's my big bro's favorite line "breathtaking hinnie." So I had to put it in when I started talking about butts. Plus I think this is going to be a REALLY long story. Who's with me!) out of my way and slid a bit down the railing so I could move up and read the sign. Which read:
Do not cross this point until you two have talked and talked and got to know each other. Only then will this chain disappear, and you can retire.
Okay, that's just weird.
"So, what do you propose we do, Malfoy?"
"Um... Talk? I know. I'll tell you about my childhood. Well, you see, when I was born, there were a few complications because I looked nothing like my mother. So, my mother started wondering 'Could Lucius have cheated on me-'"
"Not that I don't find this interesting but- Wait a second. Your mom thought that your dad might have cheated on her with someone else and that you might not be her son?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"But, the mother has the baby, not the father. How could you not be her son?"
"Well it could have been... Oh, wait. You're right."
"You bet I am. Anyway, why were you about to spill your soul to me. Don't you hate me?" Because I know I don't hate you.
Crap!
"Um... well... I... uh... Why did you interrupt me?"
"What? Oh. I figured out a way to get over this."
"Really? Then do it."
"Okay, back up."
Shrugging, the hott Slytherin backed up.
"One, two, three." I counted before grabbed the railings on either side of me and launched myself over the chain, where I promptly fell into a heap on the stairs.
Ow, my butt.
"Oh, look!" Draco said. "The chain's just hooked to the wall. There we go." And, of course, Draco detaches the chain from the wall and steps over me on his way upstairs.
After rubbing my injured buttocks (hehe, buttocks. I like that word) I proceeded up to my new room.
As I finished climbing all 260 steps of the staircase (We have a REALLY tall ceiling, thank you very much!) I headed to left to a sign that said "HEAD GIRL'S ROOM." One the right the sign read "HEAD BOY'S ROOM."
That's not nice.
It seems the Heads of Houses or whoever decorated this place don't like us very much because, in between my room and deathmunch's room was a doorway with a sign that read "For The Complete Idiots That Have No Idea What This Room Could Be, It's A BATHROOM."
Exiting from under that sign was a steamy, damp looking Draco. Thank you, god of all showers, for making Draco take one!
Okay, that just sounded really weird.
I know there's a problem when I sound weird in my own head... Oh well...
Oops. This is the part where we're supposed to say Good night.
I just have to remember. Malfoy not Deathmunch.
"Hi Granger. Does your arse still hurt?"
Draco not Deathmunch.
"Waddaya think you evil little-," I can't think of an insult! Damn! "Um... Blonde!"
Draco not Deathmunch.
"Um... okay. Whatever floats your boat. Night Mudblood."
Draco not Deathmunch.
"Night Deathmunch."
Shit.
A/N: Sorry guys! That was my shortest chapter yet. Only 1337 words. It would have been longer, but I would have had to go into the next section, and that would have made the chapter too long. So, I'll just make that next chapter!
Sorry if this chapter was sort of off, as in humor. I'm having friendship problems with the girl who helped me with the plot for this story.
Now, I bet most of you are wondering why the heck that chapter was even there, because it had almost nothing to do with the plot.
Well, you're right. I just needed a way to introduce the common room. There was going to originally be more to this chapter, and it was going to be a much bigger part of the plot, but oh well.
IMPORTANT NOTE! IF YOU LIKE MY STORY CHECK OUT THE STORY I MADE ON MY JOINT ACCOUNT WITH KIARA RALKINS (SHE REVIEWS THIS STORY) OUR PEN NAME IS Super Fenwik and Weirdo AND OUR STORIES ARE LISTED AT READ IT! It's Really funny... most of it was Kiara's Idea.
Now for the Reviewer Feedback, I think of reviews like Fan/Hate mail so this section is going to be called Fan Mail Fun!
Fan Mail Fun:
IamnotafreakingGOTH: You seem to have dived head first into ALL of my stories! Wow. I am really flattered. I've also noticed that I ended up on some of your favorites and alert lists! Thank you so much for liking my writing! And thank you even more for reviewing!
Michelle Felton: Well, here's more. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for taking time out of your life and reading this!
CherryIzzy: OMG. You caught me:Empties trunk and grabs all the drugs: You'll never catch me:Laughs evilly before calming down: Okay. Woah. Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you enjoy this story!
xesha: Thanks! I always love to get new readers! I hope you like this chapter!
Hermione Kat: Hey Adriana. How's school? Thanks for reading my story! If you ever need any fanfic help, you can count on me!
alBBie: Sorry for the lack of Newbie's in this chapter, but I promise they will be a big part of the next one! Thanks about Lucifer (she's me! Different name though) she's one of my favorite characters, and not just because she's me. I just like writing weird people, so I have a feeling this story is going to be fun to write!
A League Of Their Own Fan: Here's the next chapter, I hope it lived up to expectations! Thanks a million for reviewing!
Some Random Reviewer: First of all, I love your pen name! Thanks for the compliment! I told my friends about the lying in pieces on the floor thing and they just looked at me funny. I'm glad it… um… amused you. I love it when reviewers are happy! Thanks so much for reading this story!
MCR: I hope you had an extra pair of underwear and pants handy, just incase you really did wet yourself! Ironically, I'm a brunette too, so the blonde thing is the same for me as it is for you. Thanks for the hugs and the reviews!
gotomon182: I hope this was a decent chapter for you. Most of it was trying for pathetic humor, so it might not be that good. Thanks for using your time to read my story!
reallynotfaith: Sorry, it probably wasn't as soon as you would have liked it and I can't dish on Hermione because it would ruin the story! Sorry! But despite me disappointing you, I hope you like the chapter and review again!
Kiara Ralkin: I know you're mad at me (duh to me) and I doubt you'll even be reading this. You'll be a big character still and I'm not moving you out of this story, even if you ask me (which I doubt you will). A lot of the next chapter will be about us. I'm only somewhat sorry about what I said. I believe you're allowed to be mad at me but what you did was sort of extreme.
Oh Girl: I'm pretty sure I read your story, if not tell me so in the review! That blonde part seemed to be everyone's favorite part. I do the same thing (daydreaming about Harry) except mine is about Draco; if you haven't already noticed from this story! The Gryffindor Drummer: Yeah! I want my medal:looks around: Where's my medal? Just Kidding. Say hi to the happy little bunni for me! Thanks for reviewing!Vampirehelsing: Okay, Thanks! Here's more! I hope you like it! Thanks you so much so reviewing! Bye.
Dracos-naughty-lil-girl: I'm done Hurrying! For now at least. Lucifer is me. She'll just be really confusing eventually. Like me. Except I confuse myself more than I confuse other people. Hm…
Thanks For Reviewing!
kaziweirdo: Weird is my middle name. See: Hedwig weird mail. Just kidding. Hehe. Anywho, Lucy wasn't looking at Hermione, she looks like Hermione. I'm so glad you "loved" it! Thank you so much for being the first reviewer for this chapter! Yeah you!
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FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO CAN'T SPELL, OR READ, IT SPELLS REVIEW!
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Yeah!