Disclaimer: Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, and Viacom International
I Love You and Goodbye
Gaz's POV
As I stand here now I wonder how it came to this. Well, not really. I know how it came to this. I just can't believe it actually happened. I let it happen and I'm letting it happen again.
I feel a tear run down my face and I angrily wipe it away. I hate crying. I don't cry. It's just something I don't do. I didn't cry at the funeral and I shouldn't be crying now. You're probably wondering what has me, Gaz Memebrane, blubbering like a little girl.
It's all because of my stupid brother. He did this. But I could have stopped him. That's the heck of it - I could have stopped him if I wanted to, but I chose not to. I chose to ignore his cries for help.
It's not like I didn't realize how bad he was hurting. You could see it in his eyes. Every hateful thing they did to him, everything I said to him - it was like ripping a piece of his heart out every time. I knew he'd come home from school and go to his room and cry alone for hours. I knew he'd cry himself to sleep sometimes. I even knew he cut himself regularly.
I just chose to ignore him. I think that's what hurt him the most, being ignored. Despite what many people think, I don't hate him. Unfortunately, he thought I did. I'm just no good at emotional situations. It's easier to ignore them than deal with them, and Dib was one big emotional wreck.
He thought no one cared about him. He never had any friends, unless you'd count Zim as a friend, and I don't think Dad ever cared about either one of us. I cared though. I hate myself for not showing it. I know he cared about me too. So why did he do this to me?
I guess he did try to get help. He wanted someone to stop him. He tried to get me to stop him, and I let him down. I'll never forget that day...
It was after school and I was in my room playing my Game Slave 2. Dib just walked in and sat down on the bed. He didn't say a word, he just sat there, watching me. I didn't have to look at him to know he'd been crying again. The silence was uncomfortable and I didn't like the way he was staring at me, silently begging me to help him.
"Are you in my room for a reason or are you just trying to be a pest?"
I regretted those words the moment I said them. Something in his expression changed and I knew I had broken him completely. He got up and left as silently as he had entered.
I went back to playing my Game Slave, angry that Dib made me feel bad for the way I spoke to him. I knew he had only come in there because he wanted someone to be with. Not to talk to, but simply to sit with. I heard him crying in the other room again. I punched the buttons on my Game Slave even more furiously, trying to block him out.
After a while he stopped. I figured he had fallen asleep, but something just didn't feel right. I set my game aside and slipped down the hallway to his room. I didn't knock before I entered, no one in this house ever knocked. It would have been pointless for me to knock anyway, since Dib was already dead.
He lay inert on his bedroom floor with blood pooled all around him. A knife lay a few feet from him, covered in his blood. He had slit his wrists and bled himself dry. In fact, both wrists were so badly mangled that they hardly looked like a part of the human body.
I silently knelt beside him and rolled him over onto his back. His eyes were shut tight and there were two discolored streaks running down his pale face where his tears had mixed with his blood. He had left a blood stained note beside him on the floor that read simply: "Goodbye. I love you, Dib." I hugged his limp body close to mine, but shed no tears.
We had the funeral a few days later. No one really showed up. It was just me, Dad, Zim, and a few relatives from out of town who had never even met Dib. Dad was on his cell phone pretty much the whole time. He didn't even come to the cemetery with us. He just went back to work, like usual. Zim came and went without saying a word to anyone, and my relatives only talked about their newest business endeavors, leaving me to stand alone before Dib's open casket.
I thought you were supposed to look peaceful when you died, but Dib didn't. He looked as tormented as ever. That angered me more than anything else ever had. It was then that I decided to get revenge on every person who had harmed my brother and driven him to his breaking point.
I started with the kids at school. Torque was the first. I waited for him outside the locker room after one of his basket ball games. I'm not sure he even knew who I was. I came out of no-where, punching and kicking him, just like he'd done to Dib so many times in the past. I'm pretty sure I broke his nose and knocked out a few teeth. There was blood everywhere, but I wasn't done yet.
I pulled out a switch blade, the same one Dib had used to kill himself, and slashed Torque across the face with it. He cried out and tried to throw me off him, but I had him pinned down good. I started slashing at his wrists and yelling, "How do you like it? How do you like it?"
I'm certain he was begging me for mercy, but I didn't hear him. I kept slashing away and yelling madly, "Let's see you dribble that ball with no hands!"
I cut down almost to the bone before I stopped. Torque was dead long before I even got that far.
I would have liked to take care of the rest of the students in the same manner, but time wouldn't allow for that. I knew the cops would discover me soon, so I turned to Zim for help. With his assisstance, we locked the remaining students in the school and set off a type of chemical bomb. I don't know what it was, really. Zim designed it. What it did was eat the flesh of those it came into contact with, ensuring a slow and painful death for all those trapped in the school.
My dad was too easy to take care of. A simple mishap in his lab - ha, what lab? The whole thing blew up with him.
And that left only one person who had yet to pay for the wrongs they committed against my brother. This person deserved to suffer the most, and they did. You may be thinking it is Zim I'm talking about, but it isn't. Heck, Zim was the best friend my brother ever had. At least Zim didn't ignore him...
I sigh and laugh emptily at the thought of the crazy alien. Maybe he'll destroy the rest of this filthy rat-ball planet after I'm gone. Speaking of which...
I look down at Dib's grave marker again with tears in my eyes. I only hope he'll forgive me for what I did to him. Perhaps the sacrifices I've made to avenge him will be enough to vindicate myself. I hold the gun to my head and look toward Heaven.
"I miss you Dib. I'll probably go to Hell for this, so I just came to say, I love you and goodbye."
I pull the trigger and fall into darkness.
The End
A/N: Definitely one of my more serious stories. Review and tell me what you think.