Out of Darkness Comes the Light - Chapter 12
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone you may recognize. I don't even own the title. If you think I have ripped you off, sorry. This came purely from my own imagination, such as it is. I don't even claim that my story is any good...
Cardeia - I'm happy that I got the desired effect. I've been trying to make Gawain this type of person who can read people and react as such. Teagan used to be able to do that, but, she's done lost all her marbles. He's like this man I know. Who, when he puts his mind to it, is very insightful. He knows me very well and can tell me things I'm thinking or feeling even when I don't say it.
And as to Tristan warning off Lancelot. Yup, you got it. But there is a tiny bit more to it. I didn't know any other way for him to handle it.
Here's Teagan's reaction. Well, not really a reaction, as she's once again withdrawing into herself. But, she fesses up.
Sorceress Misha - Keep the hankies. I ain't done yet. And I's so happy to hear that you like this slop. Not may do it seems.
blueskiezrusty - Here's what Teagan was doing while Tristan was having his hissy fit.
Twizzler's are good, though I prefere Swedish Fish!
"Where is she?" Gawain asked in broken Gaelic, not sure he was getting it right. He hadn't had to use the language much since the Woads became their allies.
The tall, dark haired girl must have caught most of what he was trying to say because she pointed to a thin path that ran through the trees.
It took him a while to walk the path, winding and almost disappearing in spots. At one point, his head collided with an unusual looking wind chime. It was made of small bones, pieces of metal and held together with leather and sinew. Giving the thing a swat, he liked the interesting sound that it made. Almost like a bell, or like an eerie wind.
Walking into a small clearing, he saw Teagan right away, sitting on the edge of a lake. She looked so small to him. Her hair braided and hung low down her back. Her knees were drawn up and her chin rested on curled arms. She looked as though she were staring out into nothing.
Gawain lowered himself onto the ground beside her, his knees protesting the entire time. Though he was not yet thirty, he felt closer to eighty.
For long moments, he just sat by her side, not saying anything. Arthur had said that it was time to pick up the pieces.
He sighed, wishing it had not come to this. Tristan was on house arrest. And currently prowling the fort like a caged animal. Arthur didn't want him getting out and wreaking havoc.
All because of this small woman.
Now, he had ridden to this hidden woad community. These people who were still strange to him, still mysterious. Especially Merlin.
"You okay?" He asked her finally.
Teagan shrugged her shoulders, silent.
He tried again. "You are missed."
"So?" Her voice emotionless.
"So? Is that all you have to say?" Gods, this woman was being selfish!
"There is nothing left to say, Gawain."
Gawain let out an angry snort. "The hell there ain't."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You're being selfish." There, he said it. Honesty could be a wonderful thing.
Her head popped off of her arms, though she still didn't look at Gawain. "Selfish?"
"Yes. Selfish. Do you realize all the people you are hurting?" He turned his body to face her, grabbing her by the shoulders, forcing her to face him. It was all he could do to not shake her.
"Let's start with Lancelot. He loves you. You were the first woman to not throw herself at him. You were the one to make him realize that not all women were conquests. He respects you for that."
Still, Teagan didn't say a thing. Gawain's frustration was growing. He continued.
"Then there is Cassandra." He saw a look of guilt pass over her face. Good, he was starting to get through. "I don't know her very well, but she seems to be a nice person. And she obviously cares a great deal about you."
Teagan sat, thinking about her friends, how she had hurt them with her actions. Gawain was right, she was being selfish. But Teagan wasn't about to admit that. Yet. Her mind went to where is always did, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.
"Tristan." She whispered.
Gawain could hear the hurt in her voice, the sadness. But he wasn't about to let her off the hook.
"Yes, Tristan. You have hurt him the most." Teagan pulled out of his grasp, suddenly standing. Gawain followed her, taking her arm, holding her tight.
Teagan winced as Gawain's fingers dug into her arm.
"You were the one woman to reach him. The one woman who wanted to spend time, just be with him. No one had ever wanted to do that. Let's face it, he's one scary individual. You didn't see that. You treated him like you treated everyone else."
Teagan tried to pull away from him, but he was holding her to tight. "Gawain...I..."
"No. Stop fooling yourself. I know what you are afraid of. But doing this is going to kill you both."
He pulled her close to him, holding her tight in his arms. Her body starting to shake. His heart breaking because he wanted her to be happy. But, this running away wasn't it. She had let herself change into this person he didn't know. This person he didn't like.
"I would love nothing more than to take away your pain. I understand that you are afraid. But, I'm sure Sage feels the same way for Galahad. Guinevere fears for Arthur every day. Especially now that he is King."
He paused, taking a breath. Disentangling himself from her, he took several steps back.
When Teagan didn't move, Gawain placed a large hand on her shoulder. "Teagan."
Teagan backed out of his grasp, turning her back on him. Her shoulders slumped as she threw a rock into the water. Watching the ripples as they made their way back to the shore.
"Teagan, come back." There was resignation in his voice. Like he knew that all he had said had fallen on deaf ears.
"Go home, Gawain."
Sighing and without a sound, Gawain left. Leaving his friend again to her loneliness.
0o0o0o
Again, Teagan sat staring at the fire, thinking. Thinking about everyone who had been trying to help her. Only to have her turn her back on them like she did Gawain earlier today. Everything he had said made sense.
Her heart had been hurt, so she took out her grief on everyone who didn't deserve it.
As she sat sulking, she admitted it now, she understood that she had been this horrible person. And for this she was sorry.
Movement caught her eye as Merlin made his way to her, his walking stick in one hand and an earthen cup in the other. He hadn't said much to her for the few days she had been here. He had welcomed her to his home in the woods. Offered her a place to calm her nerves and think. And with the quietness of her surroundings, she could do nothing but think.
Merlin handed her the cup. "Drink it." He said as he sat on a log next to her.
Teagan brought the cup to her nose, sniffing. She nearly threw the cup at the old man, it smelled so bad.
"No. What is it?" She held the cup towards him.
Merlin pushed the cup back to her. "Drink. It will help you sleep."
Trusting him, she tipped the cup up, draining it. It didn't taste half as bad as it smelled. And she had to admit, she needed to sleep.
Placing the cup on the ground beside her, she again looked into the fire. The heat caressing her face, making her flush.
The oranges, the reds, the yellows all giving way to shapes. These shapes, as they came closer, formed men. Men who seemed to climb out from the very center of the fire. The movement of the flames giving movement to their limbs.
The longer she looked into the fire, the more she could see the faces, the forms of those she loved.
She looked harder into the fire as it seemed three figures were approaching her. It looked as though they had risen from the very depths of the fire.
Looking around to see if anybody else saw the shapes, she only saw the old man. Who was not paying attention to her at all. He seemed to be dozing. His head resting against his walking stick.
The fire crackled, sending sparks and ash to land at Teagan's feet, to caress her hands that were hanging on her knees close to the fire.
Opening her hands, Teagan watched as ash fell weightless onto her outstretched palm.
Looking back, the figures moved closer, taking familiar shapes of men. Teagan gasped at how familiar they looked. She could swear that one looked like Lancelot with that swagger as he walked. Another, Dagonet all strength, a human mountain. And the last...
Tristan. Of course it would be Tristan. His walk was just as unmistakable as Lancelot's. Not the swagger, but the stealth. Tristan walked like he could almost walk on water. His stride sure and purposeful.
Teagan shook her head. She understood why she would see Tristan. He was never far from her thoughts. But the other two? It didn't make sense.
Maybe it was the heat from the fire, the smell of the wood as it burned that made her see things.
Or maybe it was the drink?
"Merlin?" She called, pulling him out of his doze.
"What did I put in the drink?" Teagan could hear the hidden amusement in his voice.
Teagan nodded. She looked at him, but couldn't tell anything by the look in his face. Her eyes were tired. They were surly playing games with her exhausted mind.
The old man's smile was hidden behind his beard. Even his eyes gave nothing away. Slowly, as if his bones would break with movement, Merlin stood up, steadied himself and left Teagan to again stare into the fire.
"Only something to help you sleep. Nothing more." He said as he walked away, pausing after a few feet. "Remember, while fire consumes, it also creates life."
Again, he turned to leave Teagan to her thoughts.
0o0o0o
Screams. So many screams.
Fire. The small huts and houses were on fire.
Then there was a cry:
"Knights!"
They charged out of the gates. Their horses at a full run. Arthur at the head of the pack.
The knights fanned out, trying to surround the band of Saxons as the attacked the village.
Another snap of the fire woke Teagan, forcing her upright. She ran a hand over her face to help wake herself up. To shake herself from the dream.
It was an eerie feeling she had in the pit of her stomach.
Again it was dark as Teagan made her way to her horse, readying him for the ride back to the fort. She realized that Gawain had been right. She needed to go back. If not to repair what had been done, then to properly say goodby.
Rubbing her hands down his neck, over his muscled shoulders to rest on his withers. Teagan realized that she was so tired. And she didn't remember getting much sleep.
But the feeling she had in her stomach was telling her she needed to get back to the fort.
Merlin stood hidden behind a large tree, a satisfied look graced his ancient features.
A/N: Well? After writing this chapter, I am seriously thinking of hanging it up. I like the way Tristan is going in this. But I feel as though I had - at one time - had Teagan as a strong character. The 'leader' she was supposed to be. Now she's this HB and I'm unhappy with it. I tried to fix it by having her realize what she's done. She's nothing but a whiny so and so. Am I right? Or do you all see something I don't?