DC: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin... nothin
A/N: Err... well, you see this is my brothers, more humerous, virsion of Chapter nine... Yeah well... Just read... Hopfully won't kick me off for this...
My Brother's version of Chpater 9
Kaoru dragged herself through the little river. It was flowing in a north-northeast direction. She's been walking all day. (At least two miles). She had lost her bokken, and needed to rest sometime soon before she collapses. She finally got out of the water and looked around for any signs of life other than the fish in the water.
"A little hut... Oh well I'll stay there. It seems empty enough" She said. Knocking on the little door, a little boy answered the door that she was knocking on.
"Who are you?" He asked. Kaoru was about to say her name, which is Kaoru, when an older man came up and said in a gruff voice, that was very loud in volume.
"Taro! Don't be so rude! Come in miss Kaoru." He said with a smile. Kaoru took her torn sandals off, and lifted her wet kimono off of the floor. The man took her to a little room. The man sat down, while the little boy hid behind an older woman.
"Please tell us your name, Kaoru." The man asked. Kaoru sat down.
"My name starts with a K." She said politely.
"Ah, well my name is Hiro hiromi, this is Taro Tamo, and my wife Hanahiromi Tamo. Are you traveling anywhere important?" He asked. Kaoru nodded her head in a very slow manner. Like she didn't understand the question.
"Well, sort of..... Yeah I am. I'm trying to get to my house. And I really need a place to stay, that isn't my house." She said. The man smiled with a mouth full of only three teeth.
"GO AWAY! Well.... Ok. Your welcome to stay here, Kaoru-san!" He said. The lady smiled, and the boy just sat and stared in a very catatonic stare.
"Arigatou gaziamasu gibby-gibby-shinnnnne!" Kaoru said, as she bowed almost touching her nose to the floor. The little boy went to her walking in a polite fashion.
"Where do you come from Kaoru-dono-minka-san?" He asked. (A/N: Don't ask...)
"From Tokyo, Japan in the ocean off of the south coast of Asia. I think it's far from here..." She said. Hana gasped Seven times over a time period of thirty minutes.
"You're going the wrong direction! She exclaimed loudly. Kaoru sighed just as long as she exclaimed.
"I never did have very a good sense of direction... but my mom swallowed a compass. She always told me where to go" She said.
"Well, when you're rested enough. I'll show you the right direction, because I also swallowed a compass, just as your mom did. It's a new tradition for women." Hiro said. Kaoru smiled kindly.
"Arigatou for your kindness!" She said dully and sarcastically.
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A week after...
Kenshin, Yahiko, and Sanosuke went around a little town no bigger than the size of a bagel. They asked people if they had saw Kaoru walking towards Hiro Hirami's house. (A/N: So why would they ask?)
"Have you seen a young woman that is approximately this tall?" Kenshin asked holding up his pinky. "She has black hair, usually pulled up in a bun with blonde streaks across her face, and maybe is carrying a broken bokken?" He asked. The man shook his head very quickly, giving himself a headache, and dizzyness. Kenshin sighed as the man fell to his knees crying, and shaking his head. "I CAN'T STOP SHAKING!"
"Have you seen a girl, that may armed?" Sanosuke asked the same man that was shaking his head. The man laughed, but shook his head and screamed and cried. Sanosuke sighed.
"Have you seen a woman that looks like a tanuki with rabies?" Yahiko asked.
"Hai, was she carrying a Broken bokken with splinters in her hand?" The lady asked. Yahiko nodded that had to be Kaoru.
"Yes she went that way towards Tokyo Japan!" The lady said, pointing the opposite way from the direction of Tokyo. Yahiko thanked her, and ran to tell the other two, before tripping on her face, and sprawling over the edge of a cliff, never to be seen again. (A/N: Whose face?)
"Kenshin she was here!" Yahiko yelled as he fell down. Kenshin and Sanosuke looked over the cliff.
"Are you serious?" Kenshin yelled. Yahiko nodded.
"She's going away from Tokyo, and towards Tokyo, Japan in China." He said falling farther and farther away.
"She always had a real bad sense of direction. She needs to swallow a compass like her mom did." Sanosuke muttered.
"So she went that way?" Kenshin asked.
"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." Yahiko echoed.
"I guess it's that way it is then!"
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Kaoru rested up, Hana made her some new sandals, and Hiro showed her the way to Tokyo. She bowed letting a very audible fart, and thanked him.
"You be careful, now. Take care Kaoru-dono! And stay away from beans, please!" He called after her.
"Thank you Hiro-san!" She said as she tripped over her face, and fell over the edge of the porch. Falling towards her irreputable undoing.
She then got up, cursing the day she denied swallowing the compass, and she walked across the little river again, and headed east away from civilization. She wondered what was going to happen to her leg seeing how she fell earlier. She also wondered why Kenshin had said that.
'I'm not angry with him... I guess everyone can make mistakes sometimes more than others but not as much as me. I just hope we can fix this one before its too early... In the morning.' She thought.
After about a days worth of walking in a straight line that curved around and around in the same pattern of a lake, she found herself at the little town again. She heard voices, and dived behind a bush landing on her head and giving her a serious concussion.
"Are you sure, she said this way?" Sanosuke asked, while pointing towards the end of the cliff.
"Do you think I'd lie? She saw me fall off of the cliff."
"No but maybe you just miss heard her... Why would you fall off the cliff when you were walking with me? I wouldn't be patient enough to wait."
"Come on you two it's not the time to smile or fight." Kenshin said, he was the last one to climb up from the cliff.
Kaoru smiled. It was Yahiko and Sanosuke fighting, and Kenshin was with them. She was about to jump out, but she was grabbed from behind by somebody or something that had only three fingers.
He held her mouth with his three fingers on his right hand, but she bit her captor's fingers off, chewed and swallowed them, and screamed out to them in a tone so quiet that she didn't even hear herself.
Kenshin scratched his head pulling out clumps of black hair. Yahiko and Sanosuke didn't pay him any mind at all as they smiled and slapped each other in the stomach, and went on fighting. But they did stop when they head a scream.
"That sounded like somebody, with only three fingers, getting their fingers bitten off by a girl in the bushes!" Kenshin said. They ran to the source of the scream, and found nothing but a half-eaten finger.
Kenshin picked it up. And said,
Seeing that you are here, you must meet with our boss Meet us on the outskirts of Tokyo
Kenshin looked to Yahiko and Sanosuke. They were confused as to why Kenshin said that and retraced their steps toward Tokyo.
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Kiroshi, and Elizabeth got ready for their soon-to-be fight with Kenshin and the others. Elizabeth practiced her swordsmanship with a rubber fish, with Kiroshi, and became more and more angry with everyone around her.
'I hate everyone that wears tight blue pants ... Kiroshi saved me from certain death...' She thought constantly.
She did ten more swings with her own broken bokken before taking a rest on the floor that was dirty. She sat down on her futon, and looked at her friend's family picture on the bed side table. She looked at her friend's father, late mother, and even later little brother. He was just getting there. Running into the picture just in time to just be seen.
"I've changed so much My friend's family looks almost like my neighbor's family, and I look like the daughter of the mailman... I wonder if they would even know it's me, if I scruched up my face to look like a man with an abomination of a pimple on his nose..." She said aloud. Smiling she lay down for a little while. And slept....for many hours.... which equaled days.....half a month.
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Megumi was watching over the dojo, along with Tsubame as it caught on fire. They were sweeping, and talking when a spark flew from the broom, because they were sweeping so hard. After the fire started, there was a knock on the gates. Megumi set her broom down into the flames, and went to see whom it was.
Who it was surprised her to death.
"Kobanwa, Megumi-sama!"
"Yutaro?" She asked. Yutaro smiled, and she opened the gates then slammed them shut, because there was a bee flying straight towards it. Yutaro had grown a lot since she last saw him. But now he looked different because his nose is flat from being slammed in the gate.
"Hello, Yutaro-chan!" Tsubame said over the gate. He blushed a little then looked around cause his zipper was down. He quickly zipped his pants up.
"So where is Yahiko?" staring at Yutaro's nose, as it bled furiously. Spraying on the sidewalk and dripping off and on.
"You really want to know how?" Megumi asked. Yutaro nodded, spaying Tsubame in the mouth.
"Come inside the fire, it's a long story on how Yahiko got lost and etc etc..."
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"We have her alive and squirming with fright!"
"Good, He he he, good bring her in here!"
Kiroshi sat and waited as his men dragged Kaoru in. She was tied, and gagged, so she couldn't talk. They pushed her to the floor, and Kiroshi stood up falling quickly and getting up even quicklier. (A/N: That's not a word...) Brushed himself off, and sniffed the air in an arrogant way. He then said....
"Now, now is that how an engaged couple treat each other? If so, then I will enjoy marrying you against your will. I take you in, and you are supposed to love me with all your heart and brain and guts!" He said. Kaoru glared up at him staring holes in his head with imagined lasers like superman. He smirked, and untied her gaggy thingy.
"BBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I don't have to marry you!" Kaoru yelled. "Because I don't like you at all. that means that I would never ever ever ever love you in any way shape or form. Not even like the way a woman loves her child.... I don't like you and you tied me up so cruely and it hurts my arms."
"If you don't you never know what could happen... All of a sudden I could talk like I did not know what I was saying. I am illllitterate and I don't now how two spell things.Maybe a mishap at the dojo, or something could happen to that foxy lady. You never know." He said.
Kaoru opened her mouth, Showing all of her teeth, but put her head down on the desk with a giant thud. Kiroshi passed her, walking slowly and before leaving, He untied her hands very fast-like. Kaoru rubbed them, while he said very, very, meanacingly-like,
"Get some rest, you'll be seeing your friends soon in the Afterlife of death AFTER I KILL YOU!!"
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"So Kaoru has to marry that man in which is standing if front of me?" Yutaro asked. Megumi nodded slowly.
"That isn't fair! It is so not fair at all! So what if that man wants to marry her! Why didn't Kenshin stop him before he decided to marry her?" He asked. Megumi shook her head, with her hair slowly falling back into place.
"I'm not sure about that. Maybe he was so shocked..." Megumi guessed. Yutaro got up.
"Well, I'm going to look for them. Do you think Kaoru would mind if I borrowed a bokken sword?" Yutaro asked. Megumi shrugged.
"As long as you don't break it in half or thirds." Megumi said. She followed Yutaro, and watched him take one. He was going to the gates when Megumi said,
"Say hello to Sano for me and tell him I'll see him in HELL, ¡ onegai !"
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Yes that is my brothers version of chapter 9. Please don't ask me why he is forcing my to post this, I just hope I don't get into troubl!
I'll update, the real chapter, soon. Please review!
Luv, LaLa Rue!