An Exercise in Male Bonding
Alex makes grand, sweeping statements when drunk – and bored – enough. For instance: "My life," he is informing Gary, "would be very normal but for one small irregularity of temper which has caused it to veer wildly off-course."
Gary says, "Why does your vocabulary get bigger when you drink?"
"Why does yours get smaller," he asks Gary peevishly. Gary's response, he felt, had not been suitably appreciative.
"I'm sorry, Alex," Gary says. "Have some more wine. How has this small irregularity of temper ruined your life?"
"It has not ruined my life," says Alex. "I never said ruined." He helps himself to more wine. Gary is clearly incapable of doing so, but Alex still has control of his muscles. Except for his brain. And his tongue. "It has brought me to the attention of certain parties who would otherwise have left me alone. Oh," he says, becoming rather morose, "I have said too much. We must speak no more of this."
"Fine," says Gary. Or rather, slurs Gary. "Didn't Lady Cythera's new gown tantalize and delight?"
"This," complains Alex, "is exactly what I mean. You're so insensitive, Gary."
"Well – you're a girl," Gary says. And then he passes out.
A/N: The important thing to know about this is that it serves no real purpose. I just missed Alex all of a sudden.
Disclaimer: If Tamora Pierce says she has no problem with it, I don't really see why you should.