CH 4

I was grateful that today was on a semi strict timeline, because being around Bonnie was an exhausting reminder that I had a role to play. I wasn't bouncy and energetic enough when greeting her hello, and I wasn't dressed in the cutest 2000's fashion ready to walk out the door, and she noticed. Luckily, using the "it's been a rough few days" excuse was enough to give me some breathing room, but how long would that last? Even just tossing on a cute summer dress wasn't enough: Bonnie raised an eyebrow, making a joke about my lack of stylish accessories to go along with it. I jested in return, making note that I would still be the best looking person there. This over boastful sense of confidence seemed to make her smile and shake her head as if she noticed nothing wrong with Caroline's personality.

It was easier to fake friendship when in a group though. Bonnie and I quickly made our way to Elena's house and once there Bonnie and Elena started catching up and talking mostly to each other. I wasn't excluded, but having them speak to each other allowed me to mostly stay silent without seeming out of place for it. I mostly had to stop myself from staring at them too long. I had spent hours upon hours looking at these peoples faces on a TV screen, it was difficult not to examine the differences between television and being in-person. They were both still beautiful young women, but it was easier to view them as people without the layer of airbrush and eyelash extensions that were an ever present part of the series. I looked at Elena for longer than I should have, getting lost in thought. I wondered that if this was real, and if I was stuck here like this, if I could become friends with Elena or not. As it was, I was struggling not to roll my eyes at her overly pleasant and naïve responses to Bonnie's stories. I couldn't help but to think of how everyone's lives were ruined or changed drastically because of her, how she helped Jeremy kill Kol knowing it would cause the death of countless vampires, how she prided herself on being moral while constantly contradicting that. But here I was, and I had to figure out if I could put that aside and just get to know her as a person rather than a character.

"Do I have something on my face?" Elena asked, breaking me from my train of thought.

I smiled bashfully, "sorry, was just thinking, didn't mean to zone out on you."

Bonnie and Elena shared a look, one that might have pissed me off if I cared about them more. They had no poker face: Bonnie expression seemed to be one of judgment, as if Caroline zoning out was the most selfish thing in the world. And Elena smiled in return, with lip pursing that was almost communicated to Bonnie to lay off. I had forgotten that early in the show Bonnie was usually making these snarky faces when it came to Caroline, but I would have thought that would be gone by this point. Caroline had blossomed into a caring, strong and honest woman compared to season one and it was unfair that the people who are supposed to be her best friends don't seem to see it. Or maybe that feeling was just me projecting my dislike of their characters onto the situation. Maybe I kept reading too much into things.

"So, how many people do you think will be bringing Chili today?" Bonnie asked, changing the subject.

Elena gave her a pointed look but smiled widely "it's funny, Damon was just warning me today that this was an overrated dish to bring."

Bonnie gave her a questioning glare, clearly not pleased with the idea of Damon being a daily part of her friends life. Elena saw this face and defended herself, but it only made Bonnie expression darken more, "He was simply helping me cook today, you know I'm not the best when it comes to the kitchen."

I suddenly remembered this scene. This is where her necklace burns her, and Caroline is openly pushy about the Damon subject. Well, maybe we could be friends but I wasn't going to pass up a chance to point out Elena flip flopping between the brothers, "So, does this mean the torch of your love has been passed from Stephan to Damon with one summer break?"

Elena turned to glare at me, her cheeks puffed up in annoyance. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Bonnie smiling ear to ear. I knew at the end of the day she would defend Elena, but her grin in favor of my straight forwardness was a victory in my book.

Elena's expression softened quickly though, pointing the chili covered spoon at both of us she started to defend the situation, "both of you stop judging, he's just trying to be good," the spoon fell from her hand and clattered onto the counter top as she hissed in pain, reaching for her chest where the necklace Stephan had given her was resting.

"Are you okay?" Bonnie and I asked at the same time.

"My necklace, it burned me."

I bit my lip to stop from smiling as I saw her taking the necklace off and holding it away from her. Looking at the delicate piece of jewelry a thought occurred to me in that moment: I could compel Elena.

"Let me see it" Bonnie requested. A few seconds in to examining the pendant, sparks flew and effectively frightened Elena enough that she dropped it onto the table.

We all looked between each other and back at the pendant before I took charge of the situation, "Bonnie, do you think there would be anything in one of your Grandma's books that could help? If it's burning and zapping people there's probably some magic issue going on. In the meantime," I paused and looked around before grabbing what looked like a never before used hand towel hung up near by and wrapping the pendant inside, "we'll keep this wrapped up and safely tucked away."

I placed it in my purse, hoping that no one would object to me taking it if I framed it as a logical and helpful move.

Bonnie nodded, "yeah, I'll go get my grandma's grimoire, you guys head to the party," she looked at Elena knowing that her Doe-eyed best friend might disagree, " I doubt Mrs. Lockwood wants any of the founding families to be late. I'll meet you there."

I agreed with Bonnie, hoping that two against one would convince Elena to let her leave without us. It worked perfectly, as Elena signed and gave her okay. Bonnie was up and out the door quickly, leaving me alone with the young protagonist of the show.

I decided I needed to test my theory about the necklace. I was under the assumption that Elena wasn't drinking vervain, just wearing it. Before I could get too excited, I had to find out.

I grabbed her gently by the arms and had her turn to face me, I didn't want to dive right in, just in case, so I spoke kindly, "You know things are going to be okay, right? Whatever happens with Stephan and Damon, you still have a life worth living, people who matter more than romance."

Elena looked shocked and stumbled trying to think of a response. I took the chance on making a simple compulsion while I had her trust, one that I knew she wouldn't answer without being forced to but one that wouldn't be too suspicious of Caroline to ask if the compulsion failed. I hope it's as easy as focusing on a command like the show suggests, "Tell me honestly how you feel about Damon."

I could see her pupils dilate as she stared blankly for a second before beginning to ramble, "I honestly don't know. I know he's dangerous, and impulsive, and he hurts people without stopping to consider the impact on others. But when I'm around him, alone with just him, I feel alive. I feel challenged, I feel like nothing exists except what I want, I feel vulnerable but powerful at the same time. Everyone makes me feel like I'm fragile. He makes me feel like I can take on anyone, even when he's treating me like I'm made of glass. Stephan makes me feel safe, but Damon makes me feel like I'm a new person. It frightens me, but excites me. I know how he is towards everyone I love, yet the devotion in his stare makes me forget sometimes."

I cut her off to compel her again, rolling my eyes at the way she was basically saying how she enjoyed the temptation to let go of everything except for her own selfishness, "I want you to forget that you told me that and forget that I asked. We're going to get packed up and leave, you're going to have no desire to wear your necklace until I say otherwise. You won't think to ingest or wear vervain to replace it."

Her pupils dilated once again before her gaze returned to normal, she moved to give me a hug, clearly picking up at the point right before I compelled her to talk about Damon. "Thank you, I know I'm going to be okay, we all are." She spoke into my shoulder before pulling away and smiling, "now, lets get packed up and leave."

As she secured the food and looked around for her phone and car keys I stood by the door with a million possibilities entering my mind on what I should compel Elena to do, or not to do. I could compel her to ask both Salvatore's to leave under the claim that she didn't want to be another Kathrine or have such a violent life. I could make her take her own life, effectively stopping the long line of tragedies that come tied to her survival.

A simple thought stopped me from running away with all the thoughts I had for major plot changes: I don't know what or who will be able to help me get home, or if I will even be able to. Maybe Bonnie's ties to ancestors would be the answer, or the original mother, or Kol who spent centuries studying all that magic had to offer, perhaps even Silas's ex wife to be. How far along would I need to go to find why or how I was here, where Caroline's consciousness was, and more importantly: could I go back home?

Author note:

If anyone's wondering/thinking she seems mean with the "hmm maybe just have her kill herself, do' whatever I want"-'ll probably make her internal dialogue seem pretty cold towards everything for awhile: after all, for now she still views them all as made up people with fictional issues in a world where she's not even fully convinced is really happening to her.