SORRY everyone! This story is long overdue for an update, but RL has been kicking me in the rear. Updates should be a teensy bit faster from now on. Also, the first chap was sort of short, more of an intro really, so I hope to make up for that...
Notes:
Italics are usually-but-not-always direct character thoughts.
FROM NOW ON THE STORY WILL CONSIST OF SEVERAL SCENES THAT SHIFT BETWEEN THE 'PAST' AND 'PRESENT' TIMELINE OF THE PLOT. Please note when the story shifts, I'm not going to tell this baby in chronological order. -insert evil laugh here- Ask if you're confused, I didn't exactly beta this... --sweatdrop-- Oh, and all notes on the previous chapter still apply.
: Hindsight is 20/20 :
By StarLight Pixie
''''''''''''''''''''. . . . . . . CHAPTER II: Blackout . . . . . . . ''''''''''''''''''''
Now the sole occupant of the apartment, Heero trudged in at 7:20 AM after spending the entire night working with the rest of the Preventers emergency personnel. His friends had tried to send him home, but he was not about to leave them right when they needed his help the most, even if he could barely keep his mind together. Finally, Une ordered those who had stayed in the office home to rest for six hours before attacking the complications of the shuttle explosion. At least during the long hours of the night Heero could keep himself preoccupied with work and maintain the denial of their argument and Duo's death, but now...
He dropped jacket, paperwork, and briefcase with his treasured laptop on the floor and listlessly walked past the kitchen and into the living room. As he slowly looked around at the modest decorations he and Duo had chosen together, Heero decided that it could not possibly be true. How could his Shinigami be killed?
No.
He swallowed hard and shook his head, as if to protest the internal tide that he could feel rising from deep within, the one that was causing his eyes to tingle and water. Although Duo had slowly been able to coerce Heero into being more free with his emotions in their past nine months together, Heero could still call up his training. He began calming himself exactly the way J taught him...suppressing the feelings...
Water. Some cold water will help.
He exhaled and walked toward the bathroom. A glint caught Heero's eye as he rotated toward the door, and he turned back and walked over to his nightstand. Lying across the clean surface was a dull silver cross, proudly bearing scratches and nicks from loving wear. Heero's mouth opened in a silent gasp—he could not believe that it was just lying there, not when its owner never parted with it. Slowly he reached down, half-believing that it was a hallucination from the combination of stress and sleep deprivation and would disappear at his touch. He blinked as his fingers glided across the cool metal, still not accepting the cross's presence even as he picked it up and stared at it, fingering the chain. After several seconds of holding the necklace, Heero noticed a scrap of paper that had been placed under the cross, the white sheet scrawled with familiar handwriting.
I still love you.
Suddenly, a tense burning feeling took over Heero's face, starting in his eyes and spreading out. He closed his eyes, attempting to stop it, and squeezed his palm shut tightly around the cross, ignoring the way the edges cut into his skin. He swallowed hard and bit down on his lip, but an emotional torrent was leaking through the wall from which Duo had successfully knocked foundation stones.
God, Duo! How could I...
Heero's legs gave out, and he sank to the floor, leaning against the side of the bed for support. Realization was sinking in; he let out a muffled sob and the first tears escaped. Heero scrubbed at his eyes, one last valiant attempt at composing himself, but it was a futile effort. Every bit of control he had over his emotions had dissipated in an instant. The drops ran freely down his cheeks now.
"What have I done?" his cracked voice whispered to the empty room. I failed you...Duo...
Heero gave up on controlling the emotional wreck of his mind and turned to bury his sobs in the blanket, curling up in a shaking ball. He stayed in that position until the exhaustion, and welcome unconsciousness, overcame him hours later.
''''''''''''''''XxXxX''''''''''''''''
"Agggh," Duo slapped his forehead as he nudged the apartment door shut behind him. "I left the D379 file on my desk!" He sighed. It was the one thing he'd planned to work on at home...
Duo fished out his cell. Wufei always worked later hours, perhaps he could drop off Duo's file on the way home.
"Chang here." Wufei's head appeared on the small, digital screen.
"Hey buddy! Still working hard?"
"Yes, some of us actually work the full eight-hour day," He retorted good-naturedly.
"Hey, when you get dragged into the office way early by your workaholic other, then you get to leave early too," Duo quipped. "Anyways, I left the D379 on my desk. Can you bring it by?"
"Sure. I'm leaving in a few minutes."
"Thanks! Oh, can you ask Heero what he wants for dinner? He's still there, right?"
"Heero?" Wufei's pixilated form blinked at him in confusion. "He left right after you, isn't he there by now?"
Duo froze momentarily. "He's been working a lot of late nights recently. Tonight was supposed to be one of those nights…"
The Asian agent shook his head. "As far as I know, he hasn't been around late. Are you sure that he was working here?"
"Of course..." Duo's mind was racing. All those nights Heero had gotten home late...what was he doing? Was it all a lie? Duo had stopped at the bank to cash his latest paycheck—if Wufei was right, Heero should have been home before himself.
Wufei was moving, Duo could tell by the tiny, blurred background on the screen. "Hold on..." His friend murmured, then stopped a few moments later. "Yes, his office is dark."
The braided boy bit his lip. "Ok, 'Fei, thanks anyways. See ya in a bit." He disconnected and allowed the phone to drop onto the counter as he leaned back against a wall and shut his eyes.
Why would Heero hide anything from me?
''''''''''''''''XxXxX''''''''''''''''
"Heero..."
The man in question sighed. He really did not want to deal with her right now... "Hello, Relena."
It was almost a week after Duo's death, but it was the first time seeing the Vice-Minister since.
"Heero, I'm so sorry." Her voice was a shaky whisper behind him. "I...don't know…what..."
"He knew, Relena." Heero whirled around to face her. He had to get out that nagging thought, and it was now or never. "He knew that I was coming to you."
The blonde's eyes widened, then looked away from his gaze awkwardly. Heero looked at her with new suspicion. She had never been any good at lying or hiding. "What?"
"I know."
His gaze narrowed. "You know what?"
Sighing, she responded with obvious guilt. "I know that he knew. I overheard him talking to Agent Chang a few days before...you know. He was worried that we were having an affair and you weren't happy with him. I—"
"Why didn't you tell me!" interrupted Heero, his anger quickly rising.
"Because!" It was Relena's turn to raise her voice. "I thought that you'd give up! We were so close to success, Heero, I didn't want to throw it all away! Besides," she continued, much more softly, "I had no idea that it he would act on those doubts."
"I should have never done it in the first place. I should have known this would happen."
"No, Heero! No one would predict this! It was a completely innocent mistake."
Heero turned away. "That's why..."
"What?"
"That's why Wufei asked me what we were doing. Duo talked to him." Fragments of Heero's memory began to fall into place. He sighed. "I should have known. Wufei wouldn't notice that unless someone pointed it out."
"Oh." Relena took a step closer. "Heero, I truly am sorry, I—"
"Please. Just... leave me alone." He turned his back to her, facing the office window. The city outside, dark and smothered in snow, looked about as frozen as Heero felt.
Relena stayed rooted in her spot for a minute, upset. Then with a sorrowful nod toward his back, the diplomat turned and walked away.
How many people knew? Heero silently questioned the sparse, bleary lights in the metropolis below him. How many people listened to Duo's fears and did nothing? Relena, Wufei... were there more? Why didn't he talk to me?
With an agitated exhale, Heero headed back to work, where even more unanswered questions awaited him.
''''''''''''''''XxXxX''''''''''''''''
"Hey Duo, heading home?" Heero called through his open office door. The braided agent froze momentarily before backtracking into the office.
I'm not really lying... "Um, yea. Wufei and I finished our paperwork for that last case. Need something?" Duo was glad that his boyfriend's eyes were glued to the screen and not witnessing the shameful redness spreading across his features.
"We're out of bagels," Heero looked up and smiled apologetically. "I'd get them, but I think I'll be leaving too late today for any stores to be open. Unless, of course, you mind skipping breakfast tomorrow..."
Duo forced a grin. "Another late night, hm? No, I'll definitely get the bagels. Until then!" He darted out to the hall.
Heero frowned at Duo's retreating form before turning back to his work.
''''''''''''''''XxXxX''''''''''''''''
Duo pulled out of the underground parking lot and drove off. After all, Heero's office overlooked this side of the building—it had to be believable. He circled the block and entered the lot again, from the other side. Two floors up, and he parked behind a concrete pillar—with a clear view of a specific car—and settled in for the wait.
45 minutes later, one Heero Yuy sauntered up to his car, rummaged for his keys, and got in. As his partner's brakes lights lit up, Duo gulped and sighed heavily inside his own car. If his hunch was wrong, things were about to get awkward. This would be his only chance to stop being paranoid. He took a deep breath and started the engine as Heero's car rounded a back corner towards the exit.
Still... Explaining this would be welcome to finding out that I'm right...
Leaving enough space that Heero would not see him in the rearview mirror, Duo flashed his card across the automated scanner and exited the parking garage for the second time that evening. He could still see the familiar sports car turning at the light, taking the normal route home... Until it bore right, entering the opposite side of the expressway. Duo sighed again and slowly followed.
Heero's car continued unfalteringly down several miles of highway. Meanwhile, Duo's mind drifted: Had Heero been doing this for long? Was he really working all those long nights? Why did he need to come to this side of the city? And more importantly... why is he lying to me?
"SHIT!" Duo complained as he watched Heero's car turn off. Pay attention, Duo...
He took the next exit and doubled back on city streets. Duo exhaled hopelessly as he waited at a stoplight, scanning the intersection for a recognizable flash of silver. He had lost the car.
"I'll never find..." Duo's mind suddenly jumped to a realization at that moment, and he froze, causing the impatient car behind him to honk. There was not much in this part of the city—mostly a residential area. But there was one resident that Heero knew well...
With a growing sense of dread, Duo turned into a posh neighborhood and down a route he knew well. Here, the houses were about the size of Duo's entire apartment building—filled with mostly stodgy retirees and very well-off families.
"Fifth one on the left..." Duo murmured to himself and slowed the car to a crawl in front of an old Victorian. Well, old in the sense of style—its part-time resident had renovated a good deal of it. Duo could distinctly remember the day that Relena laughed and explained that fixing up the place gave her something to keep her mind off of work. Inside the gates sat Heero's silver coupe, empty.
Duo bit down on his lip painfully and pushed down on the gas. He looked away quickly and drove off, a different kind of pain setting in deep inside of him.
''''''''''''''''XxXxX''''''''''''''''
Heero kicked off his shoes at the door and stifled a groan of exhaustion. The day had kept him busy. Suddenly, he frowned. All the lights were off in the apartment. Normally, they did not give up on waiting up for each other until at least after midnight. It was only 11.
"Duo?" Heero called tentatively, flipping on the kitchen light. He noted the bagels on the counter with a slight grimace. Blueberry. They never bought blueberry, Duo knew that Heero could not stand the flavor. With a sigh, he laid his briefcase on the counter next to the bagels and made his way toward the dark bedroom.
Sticking his head through the door, Heero's honed senses kicked in as he focused on Duo's breathing. After spending a few months in the same bed, he could tell whether his lover was sleeping or not—and Duo was definitely not asleep.
"Duo?" he whispered.
No answer.
Heero frowned and rubbed the back of his neck, troubled. He had not done anything to make his partner mad recently. Why would Duo ignore him? With a small flush of embarrassment, he considered his activities in the last few hours, but Duo could not possibly know about that. Relena swore to never mention their meetings.
Heero shook his head and tugged his tie loose, walking over to the closet in the darkness. Duo would occasionally fall into periods of brooding that even Heero failed in cracking open... perhaps this was one. Duo had been acting strange at work the whole day as well. Worry nagged his mind, but he was too tired to seriously think about it and easily fell asleep, deciding on the last vestiges of consciousness that he would question his boyfriend in the morning.
''''''''''''''''''''. . . . . . . end chapter II . . . . . . . ''''''''''''''''''''
Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! I really do thrive off of suggestions and encouragement. The boys are starting to talk to me a bit, so I think I might actually be able to pull this one off somewhat acceptably! And don't worry, although there may appear to be trouble brewing in the 1x2, I assure you that there WILL be a happy ending. Eventually... O.o LOL. Besides, if Heero was actually guilty of anything, do you think his conscious would let him get to sleep so easily? -wink- As always, please let me know if you notice anything in my writing that can be improve, thanks! I don't know when the next chapter will be ready, but I promise not to leave you guys hanging for too long. –cough- Sorry 'bout the delay.