Warning: Mature themes.

Chapter 5

"You understand." Orodi's face contorted into a dark grin and then he let out an even darker laugh.

The guy should never laugh.

"You understand. How could one so linear understand? How could any of your kind understand?" He grabbed John by the shoulders and slid him back up the wall slowly. "Your kind dies. My kind has not...should not. You think your grief even compares to what I feel? Little dog tags dangling in your room as a reminder. Proof you're mongrels, curs, mutts. You think that qualifies? You think your pitiful, miniscule amount of guilt compares to my loss. You didn't even like the man. She was everything. Inseparable."

"We tend to think of ourselves as indestructible," Sheppard bit out. "We like to deny our mortality. I don't have that luxury, but yes I understand. I know that kind of hurt. I can at the very least empathize. I carry guilt but that isn't the day that makes me understand and you know it. This loss clouds your judgment. You can't go against the Wraith with this ship even with the drones. Your ship has no shields. Your entire defensive capabilities are dependent upon hiding and running. She can maneuver but she can't if I'm painting the target and firing. She'll be left wide open. This is a bad plan."

Ah hell, Sheppard thought, might as well lay it all out.

"I won't last long with that chair configured as it is. As you said, we die. That chair will kill me before I can take out near enough Hive ships to guarantee this ship's survival."

"I'll use others if necessary. There're quite a few of you but I can make adjustments." He gave a quick look at Teyla. "I have my ways."

"From what I was told, she wouldn't want this."

It was the second wrong thing to say.

The pressure returned to his head and his throat closed up. He felt a trickle tickling the top of his lip.

"Stop! You said so yourself; you need him!" Teyla yelled from the floor. "He knows how to command the drones; there are not too many who do and do it with such efficiency."

He had to give it to Teyla; she could keep a level head and negotiate while watching his brains drain out his nose. He thought maybe if he let Orodi know that he understood his motives; he could talk him out of this insane kamikaze plan. Remind Pinky why he dragged his ass here and give him other options. After his little bedtime story, he realized that while powerful, Orodi was fallible. And now with hypoxia a close personal friend, he realized Orodi was mad as a hatter with grief. Not a good combination. The man would not be dissuaded. He could not handle run of the mill, everyday emotions that humans took for granted.

Orodi scowled and let Sheppard go. Once again, he crumpled against the base of the wall. He stroked his throat and gulped in a lungful of air.

"Colonel?"

He gave Teyla the 'I'm just peachy' wave.

"Solar Tempest, it is time we leave," commanded the Captain. He held his head up and walked with authority to the controls.

"Wait!" Sheppard rasped. "The inhabitants of the city, you need to let them evacuate."

"They have revered and respected your slumber. You need to let them collect their belongings," added Teyla.

Orodi looked over his shoulder at them. "You've very efficient people Col. Sheppard. Lt. Cadman has already seen to it. Unfortunately, your little craft may get damaged. The Solar Tempest is disrupting its systems and it's parked on top of the ship. Sorry."

"D'oh," said Sheppard softly. He was going to hear it from Rodney for such a Homer moment. He looked up, Rodney and the others. "My people, let them leave with the others."

"Specialist Dex and Mayor of the Thack'eeryn don't need saving. There's no one to save. As for Dr. McKay, he's in reserve. He knows so much about the apparatus that he'll come in handy." Orodi kept facing the view screen.

Sheppard felt the rug jerk out from under him. Now he was furious.

"You wallow in your own self pity and hide behind your grief. You outright killed them just because they were in the way or not of any use to you?" He let his anger bubble within him. "You said you have your ways. Can you use your ways to help them?"

"I don't have the inclination nor do you have any leverage. What's done is done. I can make you use that chair easily, so refusal gains you nothing." Orodi continued to refrain from looking at them.

Teyla also glared at the back of the man. "There was no need. The mayor was no threat. Ronon…"

"…was a threat. He was a soldier and so I did not want to deal with him. Easier this way," he countered dispassionately.

"The ship's not happy with you, but she's trying to help. You…you should listen to her." Sheppard raised his voice even louder. "She wants nothing to do with this!"

It was the third wrong thing to say.

"She will obey her captain!" Orodi whirled around, "And like I told her, you will mind your own business!"

Sheppard's head slammed against the wall and his back arched. His eyes rolled back and he choked on his saliva. Orodi stalked over to the pair on the floor. "Little sister, I know you've figured out I can't read your mind but, I can still manipulate it. So enjoy the show."

Sand covered his boots as the wind blew the granules in wisps. His eyes shifted to the boots to his left. They were smaller than they should have been. His eyes followed the desert cammies to the face. "You're not Greg. Teyla, what are you doing here?"

She looked around perplexed, "Is this a memory?"

"Afghanistan …oh shit, about four years ago." He frowned and looked at the guard post about 300 feet away. A boy running up to the detail on duty froze Sheppard to the spot. He yelled something and pointed down the road. The detail raised their weapons at the child and began shouting for him to back up. The kid looked approximately 10 or 11 years old, such freedom of sin. The child kept moving forward trying desperately to get his point across.

Teyla began moving towards the guard post- just like Greg did. "Come on guys, he's just a kid!" She yelled- just like Greg did. The kid turned his back and kept pointing down the road. With the other hand, he detonated the bomb strapped to him and incinerated himself. The sin was delivered. The blast sent shrapnel flying and Teyla received a nice chunk of it in the chest- just like Greg did.

It had been the second time he had wept in his adult life.

Greg had blocked the blast from directly hitting him. The wind and heat enveloped him as the sand stung his face. Sheppard hit the ground receiving only minor cuts, but he could see that innocent looking face…The same age as his would have been.

"Gre…Teyla?" He crawled towards her as medics appeared out of nowhere and the area was secured by others. "Teyla?"

Somebody's baby had ended his life on purpose and killed others while his never had a chance at living. The world was ruthless that way.

"Teyla?" He could barely breathe let alone talk. "No, it wasn't you; it was Greg…Teyla?" His hand connected with the shredded uniform.

What a total mind fuck.

His eyes shot open and immediately he looked for her. He could hear her breathing hard and cloth rustling, but he could not see her. She commando crawled into view just using her arms seconds later. She stopped and collapsed on her side opposite him, her hand clutching the fabric of the shirt on her chest. He lay on his side devoid of any emotion for the moment and watched her. She raised her head to glare at Orodi as tears perched on the lower lids of her eyes. Sheppard did not have the strength to do either of those things. He could not even wipe away the trickle of liquid coming from his nose tickling his lip. It slid down his cheek until he heard a rhythmic plop--plop--plop on the floor.

He concentrated his blurry vision on reading Teyla's face. The question of, "Why?" played on it. Whether it was, why the boy killed himself? - or- Why had Orodi done that? It did not really matter. He could not console himself and could not do that for her at this time. He felt he needed to explain and to apologize even if it was not his fault. He did not have the strength for that either.

"Now as I said, Solar Tempest, it's time to leave your little nest and engage the enemy."

Sheppard closed his eyes. It was Greg and that boy with dark curly hair, a coffee complexion and hazel eyes that died that day along with others. He opened his eyes- not Teyla. He had to keep reminding himself- not Teyla or Rodney or ...sorry Ronon.

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The ship shuddered. The ground around them shook even though they were two and a half miles away. The cracks in the soil exposed roots as they zipped across the landscape. As the ship lifted straight into the air, the roots dangled and trees fell off of its sperm whale shaped form- no flippers or tail flukes though. Dust started flying and the buildings crumbled and collapsed. Then Cadman watched as the earth underneath the Puddle Jumper broke apart and gave way. The Jumper and dirt slid down the side and off. The compacting of metal with the planet below and then a continuous thumping and crunching as it rolled into the chasm left by the big ship made her cringe.

"I'm so dead," she mumbled under her breath.

Rodney now had something to lord over her. She figured when Mayor had mispronounced McKay's name and she had not corrected it, it would be a source of amusement for their stay here. Watching the ship leave with that team on it… the loss of the Puddle Jumper was easy in comparison.

Head of the Advisory Body, all four foot eight of him, stepped up beside her. "What are we to do now?"

"I'll contact Dr. Weir. We may have means of tracking the ship or at the very least offering you an opportunity to stay somewhere safe." Cadman tilted her head back as clods of dirt and organic matter continued to fall to the ground. "The ship was interfering with our equipment. As soon as it leaves, we can transmit back and update her."

"It was never truly ours. We were just borrowing it. Doesn't mean we're happy with your people but it wasn't ours. The Dormi have reclaimed it." He paused and sighed, "Can you guarantee our complete safety from the Wraith?"

Cadman shook her head. "No, but we can sure try to keep you out of harm's way."

Everyone turned and began the long trek to the Gate.

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The thrum picked up intensity along with his heart rate. I'm leaving. We're leaving. I'm leaving. Where's the rescue? Where's the last minute, 'Don't worry Rodney, old buddy; we're just outside the door?'

Oh this was so not a good feelings moment. And of course, his under stimulated brain kept returning to food.

I wonder if Lilliputian or Satedan tastes like chicken? OK, that was a icky thought that needed to go away and quickly. Ironically, that feathered reptile thing they had on M05-298 had tasted like chicken. All it needed was BBQ sauce and a side of corn…oh he really needed to think about something else. Like the PowerBars in his backpack, on his back! On…his…fucking…back, out of reach. Out of reach because he had no reach. He had no reach because his Goddamn muscles would not listen to his useless, Goddamn brain. But his useless, Goddamn brain was listening to his very unhappy stomach. If only his revolutionary, useless muscles would take a clue. Which brought him back to wondering if Lilliputian or Satedan tasted like chicken or venison or buffalo or…PowerBars!

He wondered if he could make a Who's on First? joke out of this somehow.

His stomach had kept his mind away from his bleak future in this Tales from the Crypt episode, until now. Today kiddies, we have a physicist, who's working on his people skills by the way, trapped with the dead beat club. They aren't helping with his people skills at the moment. Let's watch him sit. And he's still sitting. The other members are lying on the floor. Oh wait, he blinked. Apparently kiddies, these people are among the forgotten.

Next subject. He tried working through a few computations he had brewing (like coffee- damn it!) back in the lab where he had a PowerBar and candy bar stash. Shit!

Carter. He would imagine Carter again and that would definitely keep his mind from the gnawing hunger… He closed his eyes and thought lascivious thoughts of blond, short cropped hair in a lacey bra and panty number. His inner perv smiled at that. She was feeding him grapes- alright McKay, no food- giving him a massage. Much better.

"It is good to see you too Solar."

What the hell? He swallowed hoping beyond hope it was a scantily clad blond with short cropped hair whose voice was as sultry as…

Rodney opened his eyes to a person, a very tall person at that, standing reverently in front of the deceased Dormi. He or she placed its hand on top of the dome and whispered some sort of prayer. Now his heartbeat was thudding on the inside of his ribcage. It was not the apparition he wanted to see.

Hysterical, I'm hysterical.

The he or she was dressed similarly to the live Dormi guy. Everything kind of flowing but this clothing radiated light. Maybe it was just very reflective. Way to go science! He looked at the walls and back to the figure. The similarity was too coincidental.

The figure turned around and smiled. Female. Maybe it was his turn to get a sweet bit o' lovin' instead of everyone else. Didn't Scotty, Bones and Spock have their moment in love's sweet glow? He'd even settle for lust. He eyed her up and down. Nah, way out of my league.

She glided over to him, amusement in her eyes, and if it was possible, his heart tried to scamper away because of that look. Fear, excitement and good old curiosity overwhelmed him. She sat on her knees in front of him and continued the warm smile. Then she spoke in a velvety voice that matched her pearly, translucent, color changing skin, "Dr. McKay, it's time."

Sure, he mentally answered with a dopey grin on his face. It really did not matter what she meant by that anyway. He would follow her to the ends of the Universe if she would just keep smiling at him with that head of short cropped hair.

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A/N: Orodi is just misunderstood and having a really bad day. You go Rodney- hit on the alien space chick.

P.S.: Thanks for the feedback. Glad you thought the last chapter was...gouda. Sorry.