Chapter 2: Good Morning Beautiful

I had hardly believed my luck when Spinner had eaten too much cheese that night at the dance. It was something Spinner had been known to do, but my world had changed because of it. It had been nearly a year since I held a girl in my arms, and because Spinner had to excuse himself, I got to dance with one of the most beautiful girls who had ever made the mistake of acknowledging my existence.

Maybe it hadn't been much. As the music ended, her touch didn't linger, and I was forced to let her go. Go back to the arms of my one friend. No, she was my friend too, I suppose. But after the dance, it had gone back to how it was before. Darcy and Spinner. I was the third wheel in all their afternoons. The third wheel that couldn't get another of the wheel's off my mind.

I supposed I had formed a very unhealthy obsession for the girl. Had I ever confessed this obsession to another, I could only imagine how much of a creep they would think me to be, before they turned me into the authorities.

But Darcy wouldn't need any protection from me. She had Spinner, and I knew my place. I wasn't a danger to her. I was more of a menace to myself than anything really.

I already knew what I was going to do if I were given the chance alone with Darcy again. Again, it would be small and insignificant, and only if the circumstances were right. I could only imagine how long it would take this time. But some things are worth the wait.

I would have to be a closer friend before I could even think about my next move working. I needed to be a confidant, a person she could trust. Right now I was just a person she tolerated because she felt bad for me, because I was Spinner's friend.

I couldn't win. If she was with Spinner, I couldn't have her. If she wasn't, she wouldn't be around me anymore. Maybe my reasoning for not coming between them was more selfish than I had been willing to admit. At least when she was with him, she was sometimes with me. If she was without him, I would be without her.

So day after day I continued to be their third wheel. Even if we were just driving to the grocery store because Spinner had been asked to pick up another litre of milk. I would always volunteer for the back. This was less for the purpose of ensuring that her and Spinner didn't feel like I was invading, and more for the purpose of allowing me to watch her every move.

I was extremely obsessive of her, and had she known, I'm sure she would have flown half way around the world to get away from me. But I kept it hidden. I kept my cool and I kept it natural. But things as simple as asking her to pass the ketchup and having her do it brought an immense warmth to me. Even though while I was using the ketchup, she was feeding Spinner French fries.

There were always the little moments when we could chat, much as there were before. Whenever Spinner took bathroom breaks or really needed something to munch. We only had few minutes at each of the opportunities. This short time was just enough for me to ask her how her day had been so far.

Sometimes I would go out on a limb and tell her how amazing it was that Spin let me invade their time together, and I would apologize to her for them not getting to spend more alone time together. She would then tell me that it was completely fine with her, and that sometimes she was the one who insisted that I come along. She told me everyone needs to feel accepted and like they have somewhere they belonged. And she just couldn't let it rest on her shoulders if I was out there breaking the law just because she didn't want me around.

Sometimes I wondered to myself how it was that I could spend so much time around someone as sweet as she was and not feel like my body was getting a sugar overdose. Part of me thought it was because she was softening me up, but that couldn't be it. I was the same horrible person I had always been. If I had changed, wouldn't I have just left her alone?

That was another one of those things that I lost either way. If she was turning me into a decent person, I would have had the decency to leave her well enough alone. But if I did decide to leave her alone, I would revert back to my life of petty crime. I couldn't make any sense of her effect on me.

Part of me wanted to go out and do something wild and stupid, to prove to myself that she hadn't really had any effect on me. But the part of me she had affected told me not to. I told myself that I would disappoint her and that if I did that, she would only look at me with disdain.

It was a constant struggle with myself to keep from acting out. I knew it would get Darcy to pay me a little more attention, but it wasn't the kind of attention that I wanted her to give me. I wanted her to be in my arms, and if I were to act on impulse that would be that last place she would want to be.

If I wanted to earn her trust and her confidence and if I really wanted to hold her in my arms, I would have to continue being this person I was starting to become. A good person who cared about other people and their feelings. A good person that wouldn't ever dream of stealing something for any reason.

I knew there had to be a faster way of getting what I wanted than the way I was going about it, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what that was. For the first time I could ever remember, I didn't know how to get what I wanted. It was a strange and unpleasant feeling, and there had to be someway about it.

I found myself outside Alex's apartment, pounding on the door in the middle of the afternoon. I hadn't expected her to be home. I had be hoping that I would be able to hide out there all day, pretending to be waiting for her, but in reality hiding from Darcy. I couldn't stand to be around her for fear that I would lose my self-control.

But Alex was home, watching movies in the dark with Paige. She seemed surprised to see me and inquired why I wasn't hanging around with the freak and his ditzy cheerleader girlfriend. Paige gave Alex a dirty look at the last part and Alex insisted that she was only joking.

I told Alex my predicament. Minus the specifics. I just told her that there was something I wanted, really bad, and I didn't have a real way to go about and getting it. I told her that I had to do it in a completely honest and decent way, or it wouldn't work.

Alex was the only person that could help me, and I knew she would pull through. She was the kind of girl that wouldn't let anything stand in her way, and I knew she would help me to find a way around my dilemma. Unfortunately, she wasn't used to getting things the kind and honest way, so after an hour, I gave up. I thanked her for trying, and headed out the door.

I drove around, trying to think of something, anything. But no matter how hard I tried, nothing came. I cursed her for doing this to me. I cursed myself for not being good enough for her. I cursed myself again for being weak enough as to be feeling like this.

I knew I was beginning to lose it just a little bit, but I needed her. I needed someone that I could hold tightly in my arms, and I knew I could make Darcy feel safe with me. If I could just get her to see that, then all the rest would fall into place.

My mood did not improve when I Spinner and Darcy drive by in the other direction, laughing and blasting some tunes. I felt a scowl come over my face. I was beginning to feel a great deal of resentment towards Spinner. That person could have been me had I been smart enough to charm Mrs. Hatzilakos into letting me come back sooner.

That was just one of the many mistakes I had made that I kicked myself for every night. But I needed to stop feeling this animosity towards Spinner. He took me back as a friend when he didn't have to. The only reassurance was that maybe he hadn't wanted to take me back at all. And if he hadn't wanted to take me back, it meant that Darcy had made him.

And the fact that Darcy was willing to put up with me being around all the time was an amazing thing. She couldn't just want me around for the hell of it. There had to be some deeper meaning to it, even if she didn't realize it. But I would have to make her see. I had to.

A few evenings later all such thoughts were pushed out of my mind when I got a phone call from Darcy. She was frantic and crying, her voice breaking as she tried to restrain the sobs.

She told me that her and Spinner had been just hanging around and he started feeling sicker and sicker, until he was in an excruciating amount of pain. He was doubled up on the floor, and she had called an ambulance. When they arrived, they had taken him off, without telling her what had happened to him.

She told me that she was worried out of her mind about him, and begged me to take her to the hospital. I felt such a pang in my heart, and I told her I would be over as soon as I could get there.

I drove as fast as I could to Spinner's house to pick her up, and when I saw her, she was a horrible mess. Her faced was rosy red and her cheeks were stained with tears, while more tears continued to fall from her eyes. She could barely speak, so I just led her to my car and I drove her to the hospital.

We went to the emergency room to inquire where he might be, but as we weren't family, they were not allowed to tell us. However, it had seemed that Darcy had also called Spinner's mother at work and she had gotten to the hospital before us. While we were wandering around trying to find any sign of where he might be, we saw his mother sitting in a seat outside the OR, looking upset, but calming down.

She told us that his appendix had burst, and that he was currently undergoing operation, but that he should be fine. I could feel the relief sweeping over Darcy and her saying a prayer of thanks. I was also grateful that Spinner would be okay, and I was amazed that I hadn't even once thought of how if he wasn't, it would make things easier for me with Darcy.

I was amazed that my only thoughts were of hoping Spinner would be okay, and that Darcy would have her fears calmed. Both had now happened. And I was relieved.

We sat around in the waiting room, doing everything we could, which was wait. Although it seemed to me that with Darcy having her head down so often that she just kept on praying for Spinner. I smiled. She was sweet. After what seemed like forever, one of the people who had been in with him came out and told us that the operation was over and that he was going to be just fine.

Some of the tension in the room seemed to dissolve. Spinner's mother looked down at her watch, and said she really had to get home before she went to work in the morning, and she thanked us for staying also.

I looked up at the clock on the wall. It was shortly after midnight, and although we knew we wouldn't be allowed to visit him until the morning, Darcy and I both agreed to wait out the night there in the waiting room.

We tried to talk, but I could tell that Darcy was wiped. She still had traces of tears on her cheeks and her eyes were beginning to slip. Then I did something that seemed completely crazy. I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to me. She rested her head on my shoulder and had soon fallen to sleep.

I looked down on her sleeping face, amazed that she had recoiled at my touch.

I held her in my arms the whole night, just feeling her heart beat and her breathing. After a while I felt myself drift off too, but I mustn't have slept very long, because it was barely six o'clock when my eyes shot open again.

Along with the two of us, my arm had fallen asleep as well. It tingled and it was numb, but I didn't want to disturb the angel that was resting on it. So I sucked it up and let her continue to use my arm as a pillow.

Through a distant window I could see the sun beginning to peek over the horizon, and she slept on. Every hour or so she would shift slightly, letting out small sounds of contentment. Her beauty amazed me. And her kindness to everyone went even farther than that.

As the clock inched towards ten she began to stir. She moved in closer to me and then opened her eyes. She looked up at me, her head still on my shoulder. I looked down at her and smiled.

"Good morning beautiful, how was your night?"