A/N: I know! I know! It took forever didn't it? Well check out how long this is! Like 23 pages on word! Talk about long! Anyways I hope this satisfies your needs for a while, I am still so overwhelmed with the extremely positive response this story has gotten! I know I have said this a lot and I hope you shall forgive me but –THANKS YOUS! LOL!
Disclaimer: I do not own almost anything in this story except a little bit of the plot. Most of this chapter is from the 'order of the phoenix' by Jk Rowling. So give her the credit not me. Anyways I hope you all get around to reviewing… and I hope jk doesn't mind us writing about her wonderful story… and I hope people don't mind a lot of stuff, but meh, whatcha gonna do?
Chapter 14: Prophecy Child
James rubbed his sore head. Even after 19 years of floo, he still had yet to learn how to land gracefully. Something James Potter may actually never accomplish.
"Not looking too graceful there mate" Sirius quirked bitterly from his chair. James resigned his sigh.
"Not looking to good yourself by the sounds of it" he remarked to Sirius' annoyance.
"I'm sure you wouldn't if you had watched yourself die too!" he yelled bitterly. James cringed at his tone of voice. Meet unpleasant Serious Sirius.
"Hey… I know it must be hard-,"
"No you don't know" he grounded out. "Nobody does, they all think they do by they don't!" with a snarl he turned his back on his best mate.
James rubbed his head where he hit it, feeling a migraine coming on. IN all of his years, which he had known Sirius, he had never really had to deal with this side of him, but he did know one thing; a bitter cold, and depressed Sirius Black never brought good results.
"Fine! I don't know, maybe next time I shouldn't bother comforting my best friend because I don't know what it feels like to watch someone they love in trouble!" he slumped heavily in the seat next to Sirius, whose shoulders seemed to slump even more if that was possible.
"Sorry" was all he mumbled in reply.
James attempted a halfhearted smile; it turned into more of a grimace. "S'okay"
"No its not, I was being a dick"
James felt a small smirk tugging at his lips "true"
A deep sight met his words. Another tense moment seemed to pass before…
"Prongs, aren't you supposed to get Lily flower or something?"
James jumped up "Geese… I totally forgot, be right back" he walked over to the enormous fireplace and grabbed some floo powder.
"Urgh, I hate doing this, it makes me feel sick," he said to Sirius' slight amusement before throwing the fine powder into the fire. Coughing a little he leaned his head in and shouted "Godrics Hollow!"
His head seemed to spin uncontrollably as it found its destination. The smell of fresh baking met his nose, as he smelt around his house. Lily was obviously baking something.
"Lily? You got a moment?"
Lily Potter came in from the kitchen wearing a light blue apron that said 'kiss the cook' on the front to his amusement. A worried set of emerald eyes met his.
"James? What's up? Everything all right? I thought you wouldn't be off work toll 9:00 today?"
"Well" he began. In truth he really didn't know where to start so he thought it was best just to bring her to Hogwarts so Dumbledore may be able to explain things a little better. "W-we had a little… little run in at work, and Dumbledore would like us to meet him in his office right about now to discuss it presumably."
She quirked a brow at him. "And why does this involve me?"
"Because it was another Apparation…" he began but stopped at her surprised face.
"Oh" was all she said. "Alright, I'll be there in a couple minutes just let me finish something first"
He nodded and watched her walk away with a fluttering feeling in his stomach, before pulling his aching neck out of the fireplace. A feeling of relief spread through his back as he stretched it from staying in the same position for too long.
"Well? Where is she?" Sirius demanded.
James laughed at his best friends impatience. "Whoa, Its alright mate, she's on her way."
His face flushed slightly in embarrassment and he turned to face the window behind Dumbledore's desk again.
James took a seat next to his mate, and studied him carefully.
In all he looked rather dead, like the other Sirius they saw today, the lively joking Gryffindor had suddenly stopped being carefree. It saddened him to see someone so positive suddenly so down to earth and depressed. Although James couldn't blame him. He'd be like that too of he had just seen himself die.
The loud rush of the floo came to life as Lily Potter tumbled out of the fireplace, brushing off the soot on her fairly new looking robes.
"I'll never get used to that," she grumbled, then plopped herself down in the chair beside James.
"So… is anybody going to indulge me any info on this latest sight?" when the silence still met her ears she sighed in frustration "Is anybody going to answer me or has somebody died?" she retorted sarcastically.
Obviously she had struck a nerve, as they both seemed to tense at the word 'died'. Lily's mouth slowly opened in slight panic.
"N-nobody died r-right?" she muttered quietly. Nobody answered, but this seemed fine with her as she seemed to get lost in her own thoughts anyways.
Another whoosh of floo announced the arrival of the headmaster. He walked over to his large desk staked with papers and extremely odd instruments of sorts. He seemed to be taking his time as he pulled out a sheet of paper and began to write something before he even acknowledged their presence.
"I see you made it safely"
James snorted at his attempt at an atmosphere breaker. Very muggle like, not that he had a problem with muggles though.
"I think, Albus that it would be best just to get to the point." Sirius said crudely. Lily shot him a glare. Dumbledore seemed to sigh deeply as if it would help the situation.
"Alas, I guess it would be best if I didn't avoid the topic of interest here" he paused "but you must beware that all I may tell you may not-,"
A loud thump made the group jump and swivel around towards the fireplace and stare at the arrival of someone rather unexpected.
Apparation Harry Potter had landed rather ungracefully in the office; his face was contorted up in loss as he stared desperately round the office. They continued to watch in shocked silence as he stormed straight towards the door and yanked on it for all it was worth. It didn't budge.
Harry gave a low growl that would have made James scared if he had not seen this side of him already. He proceeds to look at the door, as if trying to burn a hole in it. The paintings around them began to shift and whisper incoherently at the new arrival as well. Harry ignored them.
Finally the paintings seemed to get to him as he swung around and glared at them. "Shut up!" he hissed vehemently.
Phineas Nigellus, Sirius' great something relative looked at Harry in boredom. His fingers drumming the edges of his frame wearily.
"Ah, has Dumbledore finally decided to grace himself with our presence? Or has he another message for me to send to my worthless great-great-grandson?"
Harry seemed to frown at those words and chose to try and ignore them. Or he just didn't know what to say. Either way he stayed silent.
Harry spun around and tried to open he door again, it still didn't budge.
"I hope this means the headmaster will be back, it has been dreadfully boring without him," Phineas reported in a bored slightly arrogant tone.
Harry huffed and ground his teeth in anger? James couldn't quite place it. All he was trying o figure out was what Harry was doing there… unless thus followed the events of the ministry…He gasped as the thought struck his head that this is probably here Dumbledore had sent him. But why did the painting say Dumbledore had been missing? It didn't make any sense.
Harry growled again and kicked the door. A throb seemed to penetrate his foot as he gasped out, no doubt in pain from his foot.
A look of tiredness of the whole world seemed to pass over his face. Dark shadows seemed to underline his eyes, like he'd seen too much in such a short time. The bright green emerald eyes had darkened. Dark shadows licked across them like a wave. Secrets seemed to float around him like wind, another mystery to be cracked. Another great wonder of the world to solve.
Harry's skinny arms showed many scratches and bruises throw the rips in his robes. Tatters of blood were seen sprayed across them, and long deep scar was barley visible throw a large rip in his left sleeve.
James barely had time to wonder how it got there, and feel depressed about the sad state his some was in when another figure graced them with its presence.
Apparation Dumbledore stepped rather gracefully out of the fireplace, with hardly any floo on him. James only had moment to ponder this before the scene distracted him again. Still nobody had said anything.
Harry didn't seem to want to talk to Dumbledore as he just stared at him hatefully; them turned back to the door.
Dumbledore gently laid the baby Fawkes down in his pile of ashes where his perch was. A small chirping was coming form him as Dumbledore turned his back and walked over to his desk where he sat wearily. Harry still continued to ignore him.
"Well Harry" he said finally acknowledging him "you will be pleased to know that non of you're fellow students are going to suffer and lasting damage from the nights events."
James found he didn't like the way Dumbledore found himself expressing to Harry how dangerous his actions really were. He had just lost his godfather for Merlin's sake!
Harry didn't seem to pay him any attention as a look of sadness and guilt seemed to over power his emotions. Dumbledore finally heaved a huge sigh and looked Harry directly in the face (or as directly as he could without harry looking at him)
"I understand how you feel Harry"
James winced… this wasn't going to be pretty…
Harry finally seemed to get a grip on himself as he ground hid teeth in anger "no you don't"
"Harry" he breathed in another huge sigh as if to release pent up stress and emotions. "There is not shame in what you are feeling" Harry cast him a dubious glance. "On the contrary, the fact that you can feel this way is you're greatest strength."
"My greatest strength is it?" he seethed angrily "you haven't got a clue… you don't know…"
A stone flopped through James's stomach at the anger seen in his son's eyes….
" What don't I know?" just he way Dumbledore said it made James angry. Didn't he see that this wasn't a conversation over tea? But rather a serious one about death and so on?
Harry seemed to be shaking from suppressed anger now, as he slowly turned to face Dumbledore. " I don't wan t to talk about how I feel-okay?"
"But harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human-,"
James winced. That was definitely the last straw.
"THEN-I-DON'T-WANT-TO-BE-HUMAN!" harry roared while seizing a delicate silver instrument and throwing it unmercislessy across the room where it shattered into a million pieces. Several of the pictures let out a yelp and winced, while others nodded disapprovingly.
"I –DON'T-CARE!" harry yelled again at the portraits. Lily shivered beside him. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'VE SEEN ENOUGH! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! -,"
He then seized the small table, which the instrument had previously sat on and threw it too; it broke on the floor, the legs sprawling away.
James was surprised to see Dumbledore, though through all of this stand calmly to the side and let harry demolish his office, his anger a the man for being so calm was soon washed away by the look in his eye…
"You do care:" he said carefully. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it"
"I-DON'T!" Harry's heart wrenching scream was all lily needed to hear before breaking down in sobs. James rubbed her back reassuringly but it still cut him just as sharp.
"oh yes you do" Dumbledore began in a steady voice again "you bhave now lost you're mother, you're father, and the closest thing to a parent you have ever known. Of course you care"
silence met these words, as the four digested these words. All of them were –Dead!
Nobody was able to say anything after that statement, James didn't know if he would be able to even if he tried. His throught was way to dry.
"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL!" harry roared again. "UPI STANDING THERE-YOU,"
but suddenly words didn't seem enough for harry as he ran and seized the doorknob for a means of escape. He couldn't take it any longer… he wanted out…
James swallowed the large bubble in his now moist thought and wiped his eyes. He didn't want to see his son like this.. He wanted them all to be happy…finally he gave up and just let the tears roll down his face. But the looks of all four of them, they had all given up fighting their tears.
"Let me out" harry grounded out in bone chilling forced calm words.
Dumbledore's reply shocked them all.
"No"
Dumbledore also, seemed surprised by his aparation self words as he watched the seen progress.
"Let me out" harry grounded out again.
Bu t again he was met with the same answer/
"No"
Harry seemed to struggle to find the right words to say, his shaking hadn't stopped progressing since the yelling match. "If you don't-if you keep me in here- if you don't let me out-,"
"By all means destroy my possessions, I have far too many anyways" Dumbledore said calmly, though James could detect a sense of weariness and sadness radiating form the elder other man.
"Let-me-out" harry forced at out again for the third time. His voice almost as calm and cold as Dumbledore's was.
"not until I have had my say" Dumbledore said.
James was speechless, harry had just tried to threaten Dumbledore. He had never seen anyone really do that before…
"Do you-I DON'T CANRE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY GOT TO!" harry roared. "I don't want to hear anything you have got to say!"
"You w ill" Dumbledore began again to his annoyance. Why wouldn't he juts let harry go? The boy had juts lost his godfather for goodness sakes!
"Because you are no6 really nearly as angry with me as you should be" ought to be. If you were to attack me, as I know you are so close to doing, I would like to have thoroughly earned it"
Harry was now looking at Dumbledore with a mixture of anger, and confusion, and plain wondering if the man was as insane as people really had said he was.
James was also mildly curious to see what was so important that couldn't have waited till harry felt better…
"What are you talk-,"
"It is my fault Sirius died" Dumbledore interjected clearly. Harry winced at Sirius' name. "Or should I say almost entirely my fault- I will not be so arrogant as to take the whole blame. Sirius was a brave clever and energetic man, and such men are not usually content to sit at home hiding while they believe others are in danger. Never less you should never have believed for a second that there was a necessity for you go to the department of mysteries tonight. If I had been open with you, Harry, as I should have been, you would never/ have known a long time ago" that voldemort might try to lure you into the department of mysteries, and you may never have been tricked into going there tonight. And Sirius would not come after you. That blame lies with me, and me alone."
Harry was still standing with his hand on the doorknob, his face a mixture so passive sadness, and a eagerness that shone in his eyes to know the truth. A truth that has been held about him for too long. James inwardly shivered again at the hungry look in hi sons' eyes. What could have possibly been held form him to make him have a look like that?
"Please sit down"
Harry barely seemed to breath as he hesitantly sat down on the edge of the seat Dumbledore gestured towards.
James almost laughed a the irony that the only remaining chair left was the one that Harry sat on. Thank God they didn't sit there. The feeling of cold ice upon ones head inst a one nicely experienced.
"Harry, I owe you and explanation" Dumbledore began hesitantly "and explanation of an old mans mistakes. For I see now that what I have done, and not done, with regards to you bears all the hallmarks of the failings of age. Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young…and I seem to have forgotten lately."
Harry still stayed in the same position, arms crossed, and head straight forward, it was like he was staring down a bucket of ice.
"I guessed fifteen years ago" he began again "when I saw the scar on you're forehead, what it might mean. I guessed that it might be the sign of a forged connection between you and voldemort."
"You told me this before professor" Harry voices was curt and to the point. He didn't really seem to care any more. James heart clenched.
"Yes": said Dumbledore apologetically "yes, but you see- it is after you rejoined the magical world, that I was correct, and that you're scar was giving you warnings when voldemort was close to you, or else feeling powerful emotion."
"I know" harry said wearily
"And this ability of you'res- to detect Voldemort's presence, even when he is disguised, and to know what he is feeling when his emotions are rouse- has become more and more pronounced since Voldemort returned to his own body and his full powers" James and crew listened aptly as they digested all the info the could get. "More recently" Dumbledore continued, "I became concerned that Voldemort might realize that this connection between you exists. Sure enough, there came a time when you entered so far into his mind and thoughts that he sensed you're presence. I' am speaking of course, of the night when you witnessed the attack on Mr.Weasley"
"Yeah, Snape told me" Harry muttered.
Sirius frowned at Snivelus being mentioned.
"Professor Snape, Harry" Dumbledore corrected him quietly "but did you not wonder why it was not I who explained this to you? Why I did not teach you Occlumencey? Why I had not so much as looked at you for months?"
Harry's head seemed to snap up at this. James was feeling very curious indeed to what Dumbledore had to say. Why would he ignore harry for months? Its didn't make much sense. It seemed like harry was a key factor in this war… something James didn't want to happen.
"Yeah" Harry finally mumbled "yeah, I wondered"
Lily sniffed "well I would have too, I mean, that's kind of rude Albus"
Dumbledore offered her and apologetic look before continuing to watch from the side, he didn't really want to sit in his seat anymore as the apparition him was there. Sitting in a pool of freezing ice does not sound appeasing.
"you see" Dumbledore continued "I believed it could not be long before Voldemort attempted to force his way into you're mind, to manipulate and misdirect you're thoughts, and I was not eager too give him more incentives to do so. I was sure that if he realized that our relationship was- or had ever been- closer then that of headmaster and pupil, he would seize his chance to use you as means to spy on me. I feared the uses to which he would put you, the possibility, that he might try and possess you. Harry, I believe I was right to think that Voldemort would have made use of you in such a way, On those rare occasions when we had close contact, i thought I saw a shadow of him stir behind you're eyes…"
Harry seemed to be contemplating something, as if a memory struck him as he looked at Dumbledore again. James wondered if he would ever have a chance to actually talk to harry. Right now it was not looking like it as he couldn't even see James let alone hear him. He glanced at Lily's stomach and smiled briefly. At least harry was still with them.
"…Voldemort's aim in possessing you, as he demonstrated tonight, would not have been my destruction. It would have been yours. He hoped when he possessed you briefly a short while ago, that I would sacrifice you in the hope of killing him. So you see, I have been trying, in distancing myself from you, to protect you Harry. An old mans mistakes…"
Harry stayed silent. The sad look in his eyes deepened, but understanding was starting to glimmer in his darkened emerald eyes…
"Sirius told me that you felt the snake inside you the very day of Arthur Weasleys' attack" he looked directly at Harry who was still staring hard at the desk "…I knew at once my worst fears were correct; Voldemort had realized he could use you. In attempt to arm you against Voldemort's assaults on you're mind, I arranged occlumencey lessons with professor Snape."
Sirius half glared at Dumbledore now. "What-were-you-thinking?" she said slowly "don't you see what a greasy g-,"
"Sirius!" lily hissed at him.
Huffing Sirius folded his arms and glared back at the scene at hand. His former position of gloom taking over once more.
"…Professor Snape discovered that you had been dreaming about the door to the department of mysteries for months. Voldemort of course, had been obsessed with the possibility of hearing the prophecy ever since he regained his body; and as he dwelled on the door, so did you, though you did not know what it meant"
Harry shuffled a little in his seat. His posture and expression the exact same as Sirius'. James would have found it funny, if it had not been such a serious situation.
"… And then you saw Rookwood, who worked in the department of mysteries before his arrest, telling Voldemort what we had known all along- that the prophecies held in the ministry of magic are heavily protected. Only the people to whom they refer can lift them from the shelves without suffering madness; in this case, either Voldemort himself would have to enter the ministry of magic, and risk revealing himself at last- or else you would have to take it for him. It became a matter of even greater urgency that you should master occlumencey"
harry looked extremely uncomfortable and guilty all of a sudden "But I didn't" he mumbled "I didn't practice, I didn't bother, I could've stopped myself having those dreams, Hermione kept telling me to do it, if I had he'd never have been able to show me where to go and –Sirius wouldn't- Sirius wouldn't-,"
He stopped and looked down again. James got the impression his son didn't like to cry, and hated feeling weak, almost as if he had to prove something.
"I tried to check that he'd really taken Sirius, I went to Umbridge's office. I spoke to kreacher in the fire, and he said Sirius wasn't there, he said he'd gone!"
Sirius growled. James didn't need to know why; he already knew that his best mate hated anything related to his family, even the house elves, but this was just another thing to add to his hate list.
"Kreacher lied" Dumbledore said calmly " you are not his master, he could lie to without even needing to punish himself. Kreacher intended you to go to the ministry of magic."
Harry's eyes widened "he-he sent me on purpose?"
"Oh yes, kreacher I' am afraid has been serving more then one master for months."
Harry quirked a brow blankly confused. James also started noticing his son's interest getting quite piped. "How?"
"Kreacher seized his opportunity shortly before Christmas" said Dumbledore "when Sirius apparently shouted at him to 'get out' he took Sirius at his word and interpreted this as an order to leave the house. He went to the only Black family member for whom he had any respect left… Black's cousin Narcissa, sister of Bellatrix and wife of Lucious Malfoy…"
Harry seemed to get rigid as he sensed where this was going…
"How do you know all this?" harry said.
James frowned. He would like to know that himself actually…
"Kreacher told me last night" said Dumbledore "you see, when you gave professor Snape that cryptic warning he realized that you had had a vision of Sirius trapped in the bowels of the department of mysteries. He, like you, attempted to contact Sirius at once. I should explain that members of the Order of the Phoenix have more reliable methods of communicating then the fire in Dolores Umbridge's' Office. Professor Snape found that Sirius was alive and safe in Grimmauld place.
Harry, James noticed wirily, looked even sicker at this information. Probably the guilt, he reminisced.
"…When however you did not return from you trip into the forest with Dolores Umbridge, Professor Snape grew worried that you still believed Sirius to be a captive of Lord Voldemort's. He alerted certain Order members at once."
Sirius and James scrunched up theirs noses in detest and surprise. Snivelus was actually worried about the James Potter's son? Maybe he was extremely important in this war as it seemed…the thought brought no comfort to either of them.
"…Alastor Moody, Nymphadora Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Remus Lupin were at Headquarters when he made contact. All agreed to go to your aid at once. Professor Snape requested that Sirius remain at Headquarters to tell me what had happened, for I was due there at any moment. In the meantime he, Professor Snape, intended to search the forest for you. But Sirius did not wish to remain behind while the others went to search for you. He delegated to Kreacher the task of telling me what had happened. And so it was that when I arrived in Grimmauld place shortly after they all had left for the ministry, it was the elf who told me –laughing fit to burst- where Sirius had gone"
Harry paled. It was just then that James suddenly noticed the sudden change of the aparations. Instead of the whitish misty things they were before, they were now more solid. Their forms were taking a 3 dimensional look, and they almost looked like they were colored ghosts. The transparent ness, and the fact that you could still walk through them was almost the only difference between them…
What was happening?
A cold feeling swept over James and he suddenly didn't really want to know…
"…He was laughing?" the paling harry said, in a horrified whisper.
"Oh yes" said Dumbledore with a sad frown "you see, kreacher was not able to betray us totally. He is not secret keep for the Order; he could not give the Malfoy's our whereabouts, or tell them any of the Order's confidential plans that he had been forbidden to reveal. He was bound by the enchantments of his kind, which to say that he could not disobey a direct order form his master, Sirius."
Sirius snorted, or more like made out a cough that sounded suspiciously like ya right
"…But he gave Narcissa information of the sort that is very valuable to Voldemort, yet must have seemed much to trivial for Sirius to think of him banning from repeating it"
"Like what?" harry asked interested, and slightly concerned looking.
"Like the fact that the person Sirius cared most about in the world was you" said Dumbledore quietly.
James, Lily, and Dumbledore all shot quick glances at the silent Sirius. James' heart broke once again at the sad but happy smile that was tugging at his eyes and lips. With a leap of his heart, he also realized how loyal and caring his friend really was. It was true that Sirius' background was not a pleasant one, and one he would rather not discuss over dinner, but he had the personality and loyal traits that really struck James as different from the awful family he had. His simple gestures at cracking jokes and making peoples smile in the worst of oncoming wars and hardships were one of his greatest strengths. Just knowing where and what to do in bad situations was also another one of his. His strong stubbornness always came out from time to time, and when it did, it also showed part of his family in him. The blacks were very stubborn, that was one thing well learned.
Yet, an appreciative part of James' heart was for his best friends love and loyalty. True, he was rather a player when it came to girls, and he flirted like there was no tomorrow, not to mention his drool worthy looks, and outgoing personality made him seem like a easy going guy, and he usually was. But in times like this, he totally changed. His demeanor would totally chuck out the laughter and joy, and harden like a rock. He would become his name –just that, Serious.
James speculated it had something to do with living in a family of Muggle hating, Voldemort worshipping cold hearted snobs. Unlike his loving muggle-loving family. Sirius' was not always one to show tears, he was strong, and determined. He seemed to feel that someone in the group had to stay strong, and it was true. They were all pretty useless if all of them totally broke down and they didn't know what to do. So Sirius would take it in his hands to be the strong one and bring it all back together. But lately…
James sighed and tiredly ran a hand through his hair. His friend was not being himself lately, he figured these aparations and seeing yourself die had something to do with it. I mean, he would certainly feel rotten if he were him… he feels bad enough being himself right at the moment. It was hard knowing that your son was suffering, and worst of all –watching, him struggle in pain when you could only sit back and watch instead of run and give them a hug telling him it would be okay and that he weren't alone… but he couldn't and it hurt.
But just the fact that Sirius Black, in the future pushed everything aside for Harry, made his heart leap in his throat with joy. Even when he wasn't able to take care of Harry like he promised himself he would, Sirius did.
Wiping away a tear James reminisced on the promise Sirius had made the other day to him after they had told the others Lily was pregnant, and found out about Harry.
Flashback
James sat in his living room talking animally with his best friend Sirius. Lily was in the kitchen cooking something extremely tasty smelling, and James felt as if the world was spinning in joyful circles as he reminisced on his son. Harry.
He looked so much like him. Like an identical twin. Of course he couldn't tell more details as the aparation was quite hazy, but it was exciting non the less.
Thoughts about growing up and living with harry, surrounded by love laughter and crazy marauders. Every Christmas he would spoil him rotten, and every summer they would travel the world… leaving all the threats of Voldemort behind.
Life was certainly looking good so far.
Something in the back of his mind was tugging rather painfully at him. A thought he didn't want to ever think about, but knew someday he would have to give it thought.
What if he wasn't there for Harry?
The thought killed him, and he hoped he would never see the day. But if that happened he needed somebody to love Harry… just like he and lily would.
So many people floated to his mind, but one centered his attention straight away, and this figure was sitting right across from him, talking and laughing with bright cheery eyes, and faith filtered across his face… James didn't want to sound like dampening the mood. But he needed to do this…
"Hey Padfoot?"
Sirius smiled at the old nickname they used at school for each other "ya prongsie?"
James smiles weakly but couldn't really find it in himself to laugh. He really didn't want to do this…
"I need to talk to you… about Harry"
Sirius attention was immediately snagged. His laughter was dimmed form his eyes, and he was totally paying attention. James was slightly surprised.
"Ya, what about Harry?"
"Well…" the truth was he really didn't know where to begin. But he figured the begging was a good place… "You know I trust you right?"
This question seemed to catch Sirius off guard. His cheeriness immediately vanished into concern, and curiosity. "Of course I do! Why do you ask?"
"Because…" he sighed and scratched his head. This was going to be more difficult then he thought. "I … I just know…" James shook his head and started again from a different approach.
"I know you love me and lily like your own family, well maybe not your family but you get what I mean…"
Sirius snorted at that but let him continue in silence.
"… And I know for a fact that you would die for us, you would gladly step forward and stab yourself if it meant saving us…"
Sirius didn't say anything but listened as James struggled on.
"The truth is Sirius, I trust you with all my heart, I know you can love a child with any given name no matter if it was a Malfoy, because your not a coldhearted basterd like your … family"
Sirius nodded eagerly, his eyes shone with curiosity, and a deep love that showed just how much James words had an effect on him.
"And I wanted you to promise me… that if… that if anything…anything at all happened to me or lily… you…you would look out for…Harry…"
James finally cast his eyes towards his friend again with hopeful eyes and saw Sirius the look in Sirius' eyes melt his heart immediately.
Sirius took no hesitation in answering "You know James, I would put my life down for you and you're family, I would do anything to help you, and show you how much I care, I would even serve that pussy of a evil wizard if you wanted me too, that's how much I love you"
James eyes shone with unshed tears, something that didn't happen often, as he was usually a bright upbeat person, but this was too much.
"I love harry already, and I would love to be a part of his life if you would let me, I would love nothing more then to tuck him in at night and tell him there aren't any monsters under his bed, if something happened to you."
A tear leaked down both their cheeks. The depth of the their bond was really beginning to show.
"I promise"
James smiled, a true smile, one that hadn't happened in a while since the rise of the dark lord. A smile that Sirius Orion Black would never forget for the rest of his life. Just the look in James' eyes as he told him how much he really cared and appreciated him and his family, especially his precious future Godson. It was enough to make Sirius let out a heat wrenching sob, one that didn't go unnoticed by James.
James smile turned into a grin as he pulled his friend towards him. "Come here you"
He ruffled Sirius' semi long silky black hair. "…Thanks Siri"
The short name was something not many people used when addressing him, but he laughed non-the less. "No pro-blem" he hiccoughed.
The comfortable companion silence that followed was one that would forever remain in their hearts, the love of friendship that ran so deep that you couldn't dig it up with a million meter shovel.
The memory slowly dissolved away, and James looked fondly at his friend, a smile of remembrance and gratefulness graced his face as he realized the loyalty that Sirius had to keep that promise. And the fact that he cared about harry most… wanted to make him cry.
The scene before him thought was still happening, and James felt a sudden strength inside him well up to go on.
"Like the fact that you were coming to regard Sirius as a mixture of a father and brother. Voldemort knew already, of course, that Sirius was in the Order, and that you knew where he was- but kreacher's information made him realize that the one person you would go to any lengths to save was Sirius Black."
Harry seemed to go numb again. James glanced once again at his friend to see him with a deep emotion stirring in him, his eyes never leaving harry.
"So…" harry began "when I asked kreacher if Sirius was there last night…"
"The Malfoy's undoubtly on Voldemort's instructions – had told him he must find a way of keeping Sirius out of the way once you had seen the vision of Sirius being tortured. Then if you decided to check whether Sirius was home or not, kreacher would be able to pretend he was not. Kreacher injured Buckbeak the hippogriff yesterday, and at the moment when you made your appearance in the fire, Sirius was upstairs tending to him"
The sickening look in Harry's face strengthened ten fold, and James wanted so badly juts to hold him…
"And… kreacher told you all this?… and laughed?" Harry breathed out.
"He did not wish to tell me" said Dumbledore "but im a sufficiently accomplished legilimens myself to know I'm being lied to and I- persuaded him- to tell me the full story, before I left for the department of mysteries."
"And" whispered harry "and Hermione kept telling us to be nice to him-,"
James winced at the fists made in Harry's lap, he looked so angry. Well… he would be too mind you…actually he was now come to think of it…
"She was quite right harry" Dumbledore interrupted abruptly "I warned Sirius when we adopted Grimmauld place as our headquarters that kreacher must be treated with kindness and respect. I also told him kreacher could be dangerous to us. I do not think Sirius took me too seriously, or that he ever saw kreacher as being with feelings as acute as a humans-,"
"Don't- you- blame…don't- you-talk – about Sirius like-," Harry's labored breathing and anger were only signs of how much he really cared for Sirius. James felt proud of his son there, and the loyalty he had.
"Kreacher's a lying –foul- he deserved-,"
"Kreacher is what he has been made by wizards Harry" Dumbledore poked in gently but forcefully " yes he is to be pitied. His existence has been as miserable as your friend Dobby's. He was forced to do Sirius' bidding, because Sirius was the last of the family to which he was enslaved, but he felt no true loyalty to him. And whatever kreacher faults, it must be admitted that Sirius did nothing to make kreacher's lot easier -,"
"DON'T TALKE ABOUT SIRIUS LIKE THAT!" harry was back on his feet, fury etched in every line in his face, the pain of Sirius was still obviously fresh in his mind, and James couldn't really blame him for being mad, he was still shocked about everything too.
"What about Snape?" harry spat " you're not talking about him, are you? When I told him voldemort had Sirius, he just sneered at me as usual -,"
"Harry you know professor Snape had no choice but to pretend not to take you seriously in front of Dolores Umbridge" said Dumbledore steadily " but as I have explained, he informed the Order as soon as possible about what you had said. It was he who deduced where you had gone when you did not return from the forest. It was he, too, who gave Professor Umbridge fake vertaserum when she was attempting to force you to tell her Sirius' whereabouts"
Sirius and the rest quirked a brow. There it was again! Sirius was being wanted for something… but what was it? Why was he so wanted that people were trying to shove illegal vertaserum down each other's throats?
Harry's face took on that of guilt again. James wanted so badly to swipe it off his face, but he couldn't. This was harder then he thought.
"Snape – Snape g – goaded Sirius about staying in the house – he made out Sirius as a coward -,"
"Sirius was much too old and clever to have allowed such feeble taunts to hurt him" said Dumbledore.
"Snape stopped giving me Occlumencey lessons!" harry snarled. James got the impression that harry didn't really care about that, probably happy almost about it really, but he seemed to need more the reason to blame Snape. It almost made him want to laugh but he held it in.
"He threw me out of his office!"
"I' am aware of it" Dumbledore sighed heavily "I have already said that it was a mistake for me not to teach you myself, though I was sure, at the time, that nothing could have been more dangerous then to open your mind even further to Voldemort while in my presence -,"
Harry still snarled though "Snape made it worse, my scar always hurt worse after lessons with him -," harry stopped as if in thought and James saw a flick of something in Harry's eyes. " – How do you know he wasn't trying to soften me up for Voldemort, make it easier for him to get inside my -,"
"I trust Severus Snape" said Dumbledore simply " but I forgot another old mans mistakes – that some wounds run too deep for the healing. I thought professor Snape could overcome his feelings about your father – I was wrong"
James winced. So his son was getting punished for his faults? He shot a glance at look and noticed her disapproving glare at him. Sliding lower in his seat, he refused to meet Dumbledore's weary glance as well.
"But that's okay, is it?" harry yelled, " its okay for Snape to hate my dad, but its not okay for Sirius to hate kreacher?"
"Sirius did not hate kreacher" Sirius let out a disapproving snort at that "he regarded him as a servant unworthy of much interest of notice. Indifference and neglect often do much more damage then outright dislike…"
Harry suddenly seemed to grow very self-conscious as he wrapped his tattered and torn cloak around himself more tightly, and he refused to meet the headmaster's eyes. Something that did not go unnoticed by the old man. James highly suspected he said that on purpose to see if he would get a reaction out of harry.
A emotion quickly flashed in the wise headmaster's sky blue eyes as he surveyed harry quickly, but he pretended he didn't notice anything as he continued on with his sentence.
"The fountain we destroyed tonight told a lie. We wizards have mistreated and abused our fellows for too long, and we are now reaping our reward…"
Harry jumped to his feet again. The chair was knocked back once more. "SO SIRIUS DESERVED WHAT HE GOT, DID HE?"
"I did not say that, nor will you ever hear me say it" Dumbledore replied quietly. "Sirius was not a cruel man, he was kind to houselves in general. He had no love for kreacher, because kreacher was a living reminder of the home Sirius had hated"
"Right you are on that" Sirius growled to no one in particular. His face still never leaving harry…
"Yeah he did hate it!" harry yelled again in his cracking voice. He turned his back on the headmaster and looked out the window onto the expanding grounds.
"You made him stay in that house, and he hated it, that's why he tried to get out last night -,"
"I was trying to keep Sirius alive" he said quietly.
"People don't like being locked up!" harry screamed again "you did it to me all last summer-,"
But harry suddenly stopped talking, and he refused to look at Dumbledore again as he grabbed his cloak tighter around himself, and turned to look back outside.
He missed the look Dumbledore gave him again, that flick of something in his eyes…
But James for the life of him couldn't figure out what it was, or what it meant.
Dumbledore put his face in his hands, and James for the first time in his life, saw the headmaster finally show signs of weakness. The man he knew always persevered and didn't give up, suddenly seemed to so hopeless and alone. He then realized that everybody had somebody they could talk to, get stuff off their chest, but Dumbledore didn't really. He was always regarded as the master of one with ideas, and the problem solver. But like the unspeakable said, he was only human after all. It made James heart clench once again.
Harry finally turned around again, and this time James was slightly surprised to see harry have a flash of anger surprise his eyes as he saw what Dumbledore was doing. It was almost as if harry didn't approve of him being weak, almost as if he thought he shouldn't be in pain, almost like he blamed Dumbledore for it all…
"It is time" Dumbledore began, after he took his hands off his tired and again face "for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you everything. I ask only a little patience. You will have your chance to rage at me – to do whatever you like – when I have finished. I will not stop you."
Harry looked slightly shocked and suspicious. His anger was slowly ebbing away thought at the promise of knowing. Of knowing what James didn't know, but the look was one of someone getting told a great secret? Scared, but wanting.
Dumbledore didn't look harry immediately in the eyes, something that kind of annoyed James.
"Five years ago you arrived at Hogwarts, harry, safe and whole, as I had planned and intended. Well – not quite whole. You had suffered. I knew you would when I left you on you aunt and uncle's doorstep. I knew I was condemning you to ten dark and difficult years."
James, lily, and Sirius' mouths dropped open in rage and shock. WHAT!
Rounding on Dumbledore James jumped up. "You WHAT!"
Dumbledore winced but looked James in the eye non-the less. "I-,"
But Sirius cut him off. "How could you? I was supposed to take care of Harry! He's my Godson! I promised I wouldn't let anything to happen to him- non the less making him live with –those- sorry excuses of a muggle!"
Lily was in shock as well her famous temper was rising "You promised us as well Dumbledore! You told us earlier that you would make sure Sirius got custody if anything happened to harry! I don't understand this! You know what my sister and her good for nothing husband are like! He tried to Rape me for Merlin's sake!" she shrieked. Her red hair was ruffled and rough looking. Emerald eyes were narrowed to slits and she was seething at Dumbledore like there was no tomorrow. Dumbledore looked at loss what to say. The memory of how she had almost been mad into trash by that fat basterd was still a tender subject for either of them. Even though her sister didn't know about it, and he was slightly drunk, it was still a rather frightening thought.
If her brother in law tried to –touch- her then what would he do to Harry that he undoubtly hated?
Dumbledore sighed heavily and held up a hand in response. "I don't know what my intentions were, as this is the future, and there may have been many obstacles in the way as to why harry wasn't living with Sirius. But I can honestly say, that this conversation may answer you're questions if you could just quieten down and listen"
Lily glared at him once more before sticking her nose up stubbornly and sitting down defiantly. A heat of power still stung in the air, and James and Sirius slowly sat down again. The room was so tense you could cut it with a knife.
Harry shifted again and refused to look Dumbledore in the eyes. His composure tensed at the mentions of his relatives and James had to wonder what had happened there that made harry so tense and frightened.
"You might ask, and with good reason, why it had to be so. Why could some wizarding family not have taken you in? Many would have done so more then gladly, would have been honored and delighted to raise you as a son. My answer is that my priority was to keep you alive. You were in more danger then perhaps anyone but I realized, Voldemort had been vanquished many hours before, but his supporters – and many of them are almost as terrible as he – were still at large, angry, desperate, and violent. And I had to make my decision, too, with regard to the years ahead. Did I believe that Voldemort was gone forever? No. I knew not whether it would be ten, twenty, or fifty years before he returned, but I was sure he would do so, and I was sure, too, knowing him as I have done, that he would not rest until he killed you"
James watched harry shiver at the thought, and he subconsciously did so too. He could feel lily twitch beside him as well.
"I knew that Voldemort's knowledge of magic is perhaps more extensive than any wizard alive. I knew that even my most complex and powerful protective spells and charms were unlikely to be invincible if he ever returned to full power. But I knew, too, where Voldemort was weak. And so I made my decision. You would be protected by and ancient magic of which he despises, and which he has always, therefore, underestimated – to his cost. I am speaking, of course of the fact that your mother died to save you. She gave you a lingering protection he never expected, a protection that flows in you're veins to this day. I put my trust, therefore, in your mother's blood. I delivered you to her sister, her only remaining relative."
"She doesn't love me." Said harry at once. "She doesn't give a damn -,"
James heard lily distinctly grind her teeth beside him in bitterness.
"But she took you" Dumbledore cut across him "she may have taken you grudgingly, furiously, unwillingly, bitterly, yet she still took you, and in doing so, she sealed the charm I place upon you. Your mother's sacrifice made the bond of blood the strongest shield I could give you."
"I still don't-,"
"While you cans till call home the place where your mothers blood dwells, there you cannot be touched or harmed by Voldemort. He shed her blood, but it lives on un you and her sister. Her blood became your refuge. You need return there only once a year, but as long as you can still call it home, while you are there he cannot hurt you. Your aunt knows this. I explained what I had done in the letter I left, with you, on her doorstep. She knows that allowing you houseroom may well have kept you alive for the past fifteen years."
"Wait" said harry "wait a moment" He sat up straighter in his chair that he had reluctantly sat back down in and stared hard at Dumbledore. "You sent that howler. You told her to remember – it was your voice -,"
Lily snorted. "She deserved it"
"I thought" Dumbledore said, inclining his head slightly "that she might need reminding of the pact she had sealed by taking you. I suspected the Dementor attack might have awoken her to the dangers of having you as a surrogate son"
James mouth fell open "what? Dementors just jump out and attack harry while he's living in a muggle place? Why the heck, is everything seem to be after harry? He's barely a teenager!"
James rubbed his tiring temples, and he missed the quick sad look in Dumbledore's eyes.
"It did" harry said quietly. He was nervously playing with a loose string on his battered robes. "Well – my uncle more then her. He wanted to chuck me out, but after the howler came she – she said I had to stay"
He stared down at the floor for a bit. " But what does this have to do with …"
James got the impression he couldn't bring himself now to say Sirius' name.
"five years ago then" continued Dumbledore as though he had not paused in his story. "You arrived at Hogwarts, neither as happy nor as well –nourished" he paused for a moment to take stare intently at Harry's extremely small frame "…as I would have liked, perhaps, yet alive and healthy. You were not a pampered little prince, but as normal a boy as I could have hoped under the circumstances. Thus far my plan was working well."
James quirked a brow in Dumbledore's direction. Plan?
"And then… well, you will remember the events of your first year at Hogwarts quite as clearly as I do. You rose magnificently to the challenge that faces you and sooner – much sooner- then I had anticipated, you found yourself face to face with Voldemort. You survived again. You did more. You delayed his return to full power and strength. You fought a man's fight. I was… prouder of you then I can say"
Harry acknowledged the man's praise with a quick grateful look at him before he continued nervously playing with the loose string on his robes.
"Yet there was a flaw in this wonderful plan of mine" said Dumbledore " and obvious flaw that I knew even then might be the undoing of it all. And yet, knowing how important it was that my plan should succeed, I told myself that I would not permit this flaw to ruin it. I alone could prevent this, so I alone must be strong. And here was my first test, as you lay in the hospital wing, weak from your struggle with Voldemort."
Harry quirked a thin brow in confusion "I don't understand what you're saying"
"Neither do I" James, Lily, and Sirius said in sync.
"Don't you remember asking me as you lay in the hospital wing, why Voldemort had tried to kill you when you were a baby?"
Harry's head shot up quickly and he nodded.
"Ought I to have told you then?"
Harry's breathe seemed to come on labored breathing again. It was like watching a result of a masterpiece being unveiled for the first time, hours of work and preparations for this one moment. But would it work?
"Do you see the flaw in the plan yet? No… perhaps not. Well as you know, I decided not to answer you. Eleven I told myself was much too young to know. I had never intended to tell you when you were eleven. The knowledge would be too much at such a young age. I should grace recognized the danger signs then. I should have asked myself why I did not feel more disturbed that you had already asked me the question to which I knew, one day I must give a terrible answer. I should have recognized that I was too happy to think that I did not have to do it on that particular day… you were too young, much too young"
Harry nodded slightly; emerald eyes burning for answers…
"… And so we entered your second year at Hogwarts. And once again you met challenges even grown wizards have never faced. Once again you acquainted yourself beyond my wildest dreams. You did not as me again, however, why voldemort had left that mark on you. We discussed your scar, oh yes… We came very, very, close to the subject. Why did I not tell you everything?"
James mouth opened in an 'o' "so that's who gave him that wicked looking scar…"
Nobody bothered answering. They were getting so close to getting the answers they wanted…
"…Well it seemed to me that twelve was after all hardly better then eleven to receive such information. I allowed you to leave my presence bloodstained, exhausted but exhilarated, and if I felt a twinge of unease that I ought, perhaps, to have told you then, it as swiftly silenced. You were still so young, you see, and I could not find it in myself to spoil that night of triumph…
"Do you see harry? Do you see the flaw in my brilliant plan now? I had fallen into the trap I had foreseen, that I had told myself I could avoid, that I must avoid"
Harry still looked confused, but nervous and anxious looking now as well. "I don't-,"
"I cared about you too much" said Dumbledore simply "I cared more for your happiness then your knowing the truth, more for your peace of mind then my plan, more for your life then the lives that might be lost if the plan failed. In other words, I acted exactly as voldemort expects we fools who love to act"
James could suddenly see a flash of emotion in Harry's eyes now as well from the deep words Dumbledore had expressed to him. It was almost like nobody had ever really said something like that to him before.
And that cut James deeply, deeper then anybody would ever care to know.
He wanted to hold his son so badly, and tell him he was proud for all that he had done, and by the sounds of it, lives he had saved. He wanted to be there for Harry to check for monsters under the bed, and teach him how to ride his first broomstick. He loved his son so much; he was looking forward to changing his dirty diapers just so he could be closer to him.
Right then James made a promise to himself.
He would die for his son.
If harry was in danger, he would die for him, there was no other option. He would put his life in the line, if only to save Harry's. That's how it had to be. That's how it was.
Because James potter loved his son.
More then quiditch, pranks, laughing, etc… you name it. He loved Harry.
He was beyond proud that he helped bring something so cherished and wonderful into the world. He was proud that Harry had stood up for what was right, had risked his life for others, had believed when no one else did. And James was proud that harry did it all, not to be famous, but because he cared.
His eyes stayed glued on harry as the scene continued.
"…Is there a defense? I defy anyone who has watched you as I have – and I have watched you more closely then you can have imagined – not wanting to save more pain than you had already suffered. What did I care if numbers of faceless people and creatures were slaughtered in the vague future, If in the here and now you were alive, and well, and happy? I never dreamed that I would have such a person on my hands. We entered you're third year. I watched from afar as you struggled to repel Dementors, as you found Sirius, learned what he was, and rescued him. Was I to tell you then, at the moment you had triumphantly snatched your Godfather from the jaws of the ministry? But now at the age of thirteen, my excuses were running out. Young you might be, but you had proved you were exceptional. My conscience was uneasy, harry. I knew the time must come soon…
"Argh! What had I done that was so bad people were sending Dementors after me?" Sirius said in exasperation. The silence didn't help his hungry ears, but he accepted it all the same. He guessed it wasn't totally there fault, there were after all, just as clueless as he…
"…But you came out of the maze last year, having watched Cedric Diggory die"
The groups silently gasped. Harry had to watch someone die! What maze? And was that Amos' son?
So many questions… and not so many answers…
"…Having just escaped death so narrowly yourself… and I did not tell you, thought I knew, now that Voldemort had returned, I must do it soon. And now, tonight, I know you have long been ready for the knowledge I have kept from you for so long, because you have proved that I should have placed the burden upon you before this. My only defense is this: I have watched you struggling more burdens than any student who has ever passed through this school and I could not bring myself to add another – the greatest one of all"
Harry was fidgeting more violently now. His nerves seemed to be one edge, as was everybody else's. This was it…
"I still don't understand" harry inquired hesitantly. Dumbledore finally shook himself out of his silent reverie.
"Voldemort tried to kill you when you were a child because of a prophecy made shortly before your birth. He knew the prophecy had been made, though he did not know its full contents. He set out to kill you when you were still a baby, believing he was fulfilling the terms of the prophecy. He discovered, to his cost, that he was mistaken, when the curse intended to kill you backfired. And so, since his return to his body, and particularly since your extraordinary escape form him last year, he has been determined to hear that prophecy in its entirety. This is the weapon he has been seeking so assiduously since his return: the knowledge of how to destroy you."
The silence that filled the office after this could have chocked them to death if it were not for Baby Fawkes chirping quietly.
"The prophecy smashed" harry said blankly " I was pulling Neville up those benches in the – room where the archway was, and I ripped his robes, and it fell…"
"The thing that smashed was merely the record of the prophecy kept by the department of mysteries. But the prophecy was made to somebody, and that person has the means of recalling it perfectly"
His piercing blue eyes, sent chills down James's spine. There was something about them at the moment, which made him feel really cold… almost as if he knew something extremely bad, but didn't want to share. It hit him suddenly that that was exactly what it was, and he slapped his head with a groan. Stupid thickness, he was only 19; he didn't deserve to feel this old so soon!
"Who heard it?" his voice betrayed his thoughts. He already seemed to know who did.
"I did," said Dumbledore. "On a cold, wet night sixteen years ago, in a room above the bar at the hogs head inn. I had gone there to see and applicant for the post of the divination teacher, thought it was against my inclination to allow the subject of Divination to continue at all. The applicant however was the great great granddaughter of a very famous, very gifted seer and I thought it common politeness to meet her. I was disappointed. It seemed to me that had not a trace of the gift herself. I told her, courteously I hope, that I did not think she would be suitable for the post. I turned to leave"
This time Dumbledore stopped and ran a worn hand over his aged and tiring face. Lines of age and knowledge gouged deeply into his face. The wise eyes were dimming by the minute at the uninvitable end this conversation was most likely going to have.
He instead of continuing talking got up and rummaged through a cupboard to his left, where the mountains of books were set atop a shelf. He pulled back with a very heavy looking basin. Ancient runes were carved onto the sides, and the swirling of silver mist inside told James it was a pensieve. And a mighty good on at that.
Placing the pensieve gently on his desk, he the prodded his temple with his famous wand, and pulled back with a long strand of silver. It was almost like a sliver of his long fine silvery hair.
Placing it in the basin he prodded the surface and sat back in silence. Harry surveyed this in contained awe and curiosity as a misty figure slowly rose out of the basin.
'The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord approaches…
Born to those who have thrice defied him,
Born as the seventh month dies…
And the dark lord will mark him as his equal…
But he will have powers the dark lord knows not,
And wither must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives,
The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord will be born as the seventh months dies…'
The slowly revolving figure sank back not the silver mass below. The silence within the office was absolute. Neither the apparations nor them made a sound. Even the quiet chirps from baby Fawkes had fallen silent.
"P-professor Dumbledore?"
The tense and uncomfortable silence was broken once again by the ever so brace harry Potter, who was looking confused, and apprehensive, almost as if he really didn't want to know the answer to the question he was answering.
James knew for certain eh couldn't trust himself to open his mouth or he might pass out from sheer exhaustion. His breathing was extremely labored by now, he could certainly give harry a run for his money…
"It…did that mean… what did that mean?" he whispered, asking very very very quietly, for Dumbledore seemed still lost in thought staring at the pensive.
"It meant" said Dumbledore wearily "that the person who has the only chance of conquering Lord Voldemort for good was born at the end of July, nearly sixteen years ago. This boy would be born to parents who had already defied Voldemort three times"
The four adults looked at each other wearily. They hadn't defied voldemort even once…
"Shit" James muttered. His temples were probably going really red and raw from all the rubbing, but being reminded that you were going to have to defy that evil basterd three times before he finally killed you wasn't a pleasant one.
"It means – me?" he muttered weakly. Shrinking lower in his seat as if he could just disappear.
"The odd thing is harry, is that it may not have meant you at all. Sybill's prophecy could have applied to two wizard boys, both born at the end of July that year, and both of whom parents had been in the order of the phoenix, both sets of parents narrowly escaping Voldemort three times. One of course, was you. The other was Neville Longbottom."
Lily gasped "Wasn't that supposedly Franks' son? The other lad who was with Harry tonight at-," she stopped her blabbering at the stern looking in Sirius' direction from James.
"But… but then why was my name on the prophecy and not Neville's?" harry inquired.
"The official record was relabeled after Voldemort's attack on you as a child" said Dumbledore "it seemed plain to the keep of the hall of prophecy that voldemort could only have tried to kill you because he knew you to be the one the whom Sybil was referring"
"Then – then it might not be me?" harry asked, there was a spark of hope in his meek voice.
"I am afraid" Dumbledore began slowly, looking as though every word cos thim greta effort "that there is no doubt that it is you"
Harry's eyes fogged over with something James couldn't recognize. Then it hit him. Disappointment. He didn't want to be the one of the prophecy. Although he didn't blame him. He wouldn't either…but he would if only for his Harry.
"but you said- Neville was born at the end of July too- and his mum and dad-,"
"you are forgetting the next part of the prophecy, the final identifying feature of the boy who could vanquish Voldemort… Voldemort himself would mark him as his equal. And so he did, Harry. He chose you, not Neville. He gave you the scar that has been both a blessing and a curse."
Harry looked slightly out and desperate now. "But he might have chosen wrong! He might have marked the wrong person!"
"he chose the boy he thought most likely to be a danger to him. And noticed this Harry, he chose not the pureblood, but the half-blood, like himself. He saw himself in you before he had ever seen you, and in marking you with that scar, he did not kill you, as he intended, but gave you powers and a future, which have fitted you to escape him not once, but four times so far- something that neither you parents, nor Neville's parents, ever achieved."
"Why did he do it then? Why did he try to kill me as a baby? He should have waited till we were older to see whether Neville or I looked more dangerous, and tried to kill whoever it was then-,"
"That might have indeed been the more practical course" Dumbledore agreed "except that Voldemort's information about the prophecy was incomplete. The hogs' head inn, which Sybil chose for its cheapness, has long attracted a more, shall we say interesting clientele then the three broomsticks. As you and your friends found out to your cost, and I to mine that night, it is a place where it is never safe to assume you are not being overheard. Of course, I had not dreamed, when I had set out to meet Sybil Trelawney, that I would hear anything worth overhearing. My –our- one stroke of good fortune was that the eavesdropper was detected only a short way away into the prophecy and thrown from the building."
"So he only heard -?"
"He heard the beginning, the part foretelling the birth of a boy in July to parents who had thrice defied Voldemort. Consequently, he could not warn his master that to attack you would be to risk transferring power to you, and marking you as his equal. So Voldemort never knew that there might be danger in attacking you that it might be wise to wait, to learn more. He did not know you would have the power the dark lord knows not-,"
"But I don't!" harry interrupted in a strangled voice " I haven't any the powers he hasn't got, I couldn't fight the way he did tonight, I can't possess people - or kill them-,"
"There is a room in the department to mysteries" said Dumbledore, taking his turn now to interrupt "that is kept locked at all times. It contains a force that is at once more wonderful and more terrible then death, than human intelligence, then the forces of nature. It is also, perhaps, the most mysterious of the many subjects for study that resides there. It is the power held within that room that you possess in such quantities and which Voldemort has not at all. That power took you to save Sirius tonight. That power also saved you from possession by Voldemort, because he could not bear to reside in a body so full of the force he detests. In the end, it mattered not that you could not close your mind. It was your heart that saved you."
Harry stared at Dumbledore in peace for a moment. The while taking in what he had said.
James sat in the awkward silence; it was one for pondering and quiet. He found though that he couldn't think straight. His son was the one that was going to have too defeat the evil basterd who named himself Voldemort. The evil force that took the lives of many innocence. The same evil force that crushed Sirius' family to smithereens. The same evil force that took family of many young. The same evil force that tortured for sport, and laughed at the weak.
The same evil force that took his son from him.
Anger rose inside of him, only to be squashed and replaced with a deep welling despair moments later. He only wanted to live happily ever after, with his family, and friends…but his hopes and dreams had suddenly come crashing down in a sudden reality.
Harry opened his mouth finally, with the air of just wanting to end the stifling silence. "The end of the prophecy… Neither can live…"
"…While the other survives…"
Harry's eyes spun open wide as realization form the words seemed to have finally sunk in. James eyes too also widened as the adjustment smacked him once again, reminding him of the terrible fate that the wizarding world had… if his son failed.
But he wouldn't fail.
Because James would be with him every step of the way if it meant forcing himself into the future so be it. He would be there.
"So…" harry dredging up the words finally spoke "so…does that mean that… does that mean…that one of us has got to kill the other… in the end?"
Sad emerald eyes met those of piercing blue.
"Yes" Dumbledore said softly.
Harry's body slunk back down in his seat as he took this all in. his labored breathing was now slowed to a normal pace, although his face was not any more colored. The streaks of sun streamed through the window, looking extremely off in James' opinion as the light went right through the transparent people. But he could not find it in himself at the moment to make a joke of it like usual.
"I feel I owe you another apology harry"
James stiffened. What now?
"You may, perhaps have wondered why I never chose you as prefect? I must confess… that I rather thought…you had enough responsibility to be going on with"
James was once again shocked to see a small sliver of a tear slide down the aparation Dumbledore's face, as the scene before them slowly disaparated leaving only a misty haze to remind them of what had been there.
Nobody really knew what to say to one another, to much info had been shared, to many questions that had to be asked; they just didn't know where to begin…
"…I suggest you get some rest, and we discuss this another day" Dumbledore began slowly. James looked up to notice this younger Dumbledore looking wearily and guilty. He nodded his head, agreeing whole-heartedly with the wise old man, and not finding it in himself to put any arguments on the line. He had enough on his plate at the moment. They all did.
Helping Lily up, they walked slowly towards the large oak door, Sirius following in their wake.
Upon reaching the gargoyle James lost it. He used all his strength to bash his fist into the wall in anger, only to recoil in pain seconds later. This wasn't fair.
"James!" lily shrieked, both disapprovingly and concern. Sirius just flinched but offered no support, One mother was enough.
"Its not fair!" he yelled, "This wasn't supposed to happen!"
Lily sighed and rubbed her temples now " I know, but its no use getting angry over it! There's nothing you can do to stop what Voldemort does, what decisions he makes! Only one-person can and its…" she trailed off as realization on exactly who it was that could hit her hard in the face.
"…Not you?" Sirius finished her sentence lamely; he wasn't up for fighting right now.
James sighed, "Alright, I guess we should just get a good nights rest, and discuss this another time…"
"I agree mate, I know I'm sure tired" he smirked slightly, but it made James feel better that someone was at least smiling. "If I stay awake any longer, my head will be so heavy it'll fall off!"
Lily didn't seem to find this kind of humor appropriate for the moment, but she ignored it and leaned on James' shoulder as they walked slowly down the long corridor towards the Great Hall.
"I guess that old saying is true… you learn something knew everyday…" but Sirius trailed off, and they all three came to a complete stop outside the entrance to Moaning Murtles bathroom. Because there standing in front of them was something that was more familiar then one would care to know…
To be continued.
A/N: Heres' the latest chapter for you, I hope ya enjoyed it. Just to let you guys know, I may make a sequel to this one, if I have another plot after this that can continue the story. This will be a long story in the making though so don't worry, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do reading you're encouraging reviews! Lol so I may not get the next chapter up till near the end of March but I'll try, just be patient. At least this chapter was extremely long. I don't know if that is a good thing or not… so tell me thanks!