Fairytale Disorder
Chapter 2: The boy, the pea, and the coffee
"...exactly where are you taking me?" He felt like sleeping, but nooo that damned coffee he drank wasn't letting him, he didn't want to miss the chance to talk while the gag was off.
"Far far away."
"...yes I realized that but can't you say something more specific?"
"...no."
Dark sighed as the demons carried him away, the moon was rising, "I thought you said we'd be there by night...and it's night."
"We're almost there..."
"We are?"
"Yes..."
"...are we there yet?"
"No."
"How about now?"
"No."
"...now?"
"No."
Dark sighed again, "...how about now?"
"...no...wait...wait...still waiting...yes, we're there."
"Finally...can you put me down now?"
The big ugly looking demon set the boy down, Dark turned around to face a castle, a huge, enormous, grand castle.
"Whoa..."
The demons took the knocker and knocked on the door, then ran away like little kids playing a prank on some person.
"We'll come to pick you up later."
Dark watched them go, he heard the door open and he turned around to see a butler, "...hi?"
"Ah...you must be the princess, come on in."
"...wait...I'm not the princess..."
"No need to be modest, come on in."
"..." Dark shrugged and walked into the castle, since he invited me.
"You must be sent to bed now."
"So soon?"
"Yes, follow me."
The butler led Dark into a room with a couple of dozen mattresses with a ladder leading to the top.
"...I'm suppose to sleep on that..."
"Yes."
"What if I roll off or something?"
"...let's just hope for the best."
"...okay...well goodnight..."
"Goodnight miss."
"...I'm not a-" Too late, the butler locked the door behind him.
Dark looked up the pile of mattress, I'm suppose to sleep on that!? ...okay...I'll just climb the ladder and see how it is up there. The boy started climbing towards the top, when he finally reached the last mattress, he hopped onto the mat, there was a pillow and a blanket. When he looked down he could see the whole room and it was huge, Dark sat on the mattress, it was soft and fluffy, fit for a king. Sadly, he couldn't enjoy the high quality mattress because of the coffee, he tossed and turned all night.
The next morning when he climbed down the ladder, the butler opened the door for him and led him to a kitchen where there was a grand breakfast waiting for him. Dark didn't need anyone to tell him what to do, he sat down and dug in, even the breakfast was high quality down to the last little itsy bitsy insignificant tiny crumb.
"Are you finished?"
"Yea, I can't eat another bite."
"The queen and prince charming will now see you."
"...okay...are all the princes of this...place called prince charming?"
"Yes, it is tradition."
"I see...don't you get mixed them up?"
"No."
"...wow..."
The looked at Dark, "Perhaps we should get you changed into something more suitable before you meet her royal highness."
"...I guess..."
The butler handed him a frilly pink dress but the boy protested, "I'm a BOY, there's no way in hell I'm going to wear this...this...frilly pink dress!"
The servant raised a brow, "That's funny, I didn't noticed...very well, we'll get you something more appropriate."
"Thank you...wait, you aren't going to make me wear tights or something are you?"
"No of course not, that tradition was canceled...last week."
Dark released a sigh of relief, the butler handed him black trousers, and a black sleeveless shirt. ...he has the same sense of style as Krad, all black, what's with these people?
"Umm...do you mind...oh I don't know, stepping out of the room while I change?"
Unlike Krad, the butler nodded and closer the door behind him while the boy got into the new clothing. Dark stepped out of the room and looked at the butler.
"...what now?"
"You shall go and meet her royal highness and prince charming."
"Okay...where are they?"
He followed the butler to another set of doors decorated with gold and silver, the servant opened the door and led him in while he went up to the fat lady sitting in a throne and whispered.
"You highness, the princess is here, but it seems to be a boy."
"Oh nevermind that, he looks fine, how are his manners?"
"Horrible, his table manners are hideous too, he is rude but modest."
"...alright...that doesn't matter, my prince charming is getting impatient for a damsel, all we need to know is if this boy is to be a princess or not."
"Yes madam."
"You're free to go."
The butler bowed and headed out the door leaving Dark standing there like an idiot just gawking at the highly decorated room.
"Hello there, what is your name?"
"...Dark...Dark Mousy."
"Well Dark, how did you sleep yesterday?"
"It was damn horrible, I couldn't sleep a wink! Geeze, I tossed and turned all night, did you stick something in the mattress or something...shit." Dark stopped himself, he couldn't say "opps" now, he just dissed the queen, boy was he going to get it.
The queen was taken aback by the rude comments but never the less, the boy had damsel-quality, he couldn't sleep with a pea under all the mattresses, he passed.
"I'm sorry to hear that, but that proves something to me."
What? That he was a goner? That he was the rudest person to walk in the castle? That he was a walking talking piece of dead meat?
"...and what does it prove?"
"That you have enough damsel-quality to marry my son, prince charming. Prince charming, come in here and meet your fiancée!"
"Coming mother!"
A prince walked in with black trousers and a white shirt thingy, like from Cinderella, but he had blonde hair that reached his shoulders. He looked at Dark and smiled his charming smile showing off his perfectly white teeth that sparkled with a "ding" and he head towards the fat lady.
"Yes mother?"
"Meet your fiancée, Dark."
Dark just stared at her, what the hell is she talking about? Fiancée? Me? Whoa, he's like a walking talking advertisement. Mr. I-have-perfect-manners-and-teeth-and-hair-and-clothes. Psh. Prince charming walked up to Dark, he bowed, took his hand and kissed his knuckles.
"Hello there beautiful."
Dark just stared at him like the idiot that he was at the moment, how often did someone go up to him with perfect manners, teeth, hair and clothes and kiss his hand, it was all just so...royal manners-like. But the prince never saved him from live-threatening situations and Krad had, at least four times, not to mention the dragon hugged him, and he kissed the blonde. He wanted to go home, back to Krad, and he'd run out of the castle that moment but prince charming still had his hand and he had no idea how to get back.
Prince charming was about to lean down and kiss the unsuspecting Dark but a sudden wind bursted into the room and carried the boy away on its shoulder.
Dark snapped out of his trance and looked down, the demon was running towards...somewhere.
"It's about time."
"We just finished breakfast."
"Which was..."
"...if I told you, you'd lose your breakfast."
"...I see."
"Did you sleep?"
"Hell no! That was the worst!"
"You have princess-quality, very well, to the next prince charming!"
"What!? Princess-quality!?"
"You couldn't sleep right? Only true princesses can't sleep when they're there."
"Why?"
"They stuffed a pea in the mattress."
"...what? No, I just had-"
"Too late now, we're off to the next place."
Damn that coffee...
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"...Mother, where is my fiancée?"
"I don't know dear."
"I'm going to go and get him back from that dreaded wind! I waited for a damsel for long enough, I'm going to rescue my damsel in distress!"
"You go and do that dear."
"I'm off!"
"Ta-ta."
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Krad yawned and turned back to human form, he stepped into the barn expecting to see the boy there, but it was empty.
"...Dark?"
"Dark Mousy?"
Still empty, the dragon yawned again, "Damn him, I bet he's out there getting harassed or something."
He turned into a bird and flew to the nearest village hoping to find out what happened through the magic of gossip.
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NyaI was wonder what to prince charmings wear so I ended up with the Cinderella way for this chapter. Any requests for the next fairytale? Please R&R