Fairytale Disorder
Chapter 5: Bibadi Babadi Boo
"It's not fair."
"You're repeating yourself..."
"But it's true! It's not fair!"
"You really don't have a choice, I mean you survived two so far, what's another one...or two...or three...whatever."
"But I wanna see Krad!"
"You can see him after you're done all of them."
"But-but...I'll be old by then!"
"...that's a possibility-oh look we're here! Off you go now, bye-bye, have fun with the evil stepsisters!!"
Dark watched as the demons ran off, he grumbled, "Stupid demons..."
The boy turned around to see a house, he walked up to the door only to find it locked, he started banging on it, "Oi! Let me in you bums!"
The door swung open and Dark fell over, then rats crawled all over him dancing and cheering, rats with shirts and hats on...that was something that he didn't expect. There were footsteps coming towards him, the rats all yelped and scurried away, the boy didn't have time to react, he looked up, indeed, there was a horribly ugly old lady with her gray hair up like a....old lady and she had a wart right on her nose like a witch, she was way too old to be a evil stepsister, so he said the next thing that came to his mind.
"Man Obaa-chan, you're ugly."
The old lady didn't react at first, then her face turned red and her wart seemed to steam a bit, Dark almost expected another little wart to bubble up in the middle of it, "You should have more respect for you stepmother! You-you...you...what's your name child?"
"I'm Dark, and I'm not a girl." He wanted to make sure at least that much was clear.
"Yes, yes...you insolent child! You're worthless, Dark, why I oughta...ahem...anyways come on in now, your stepsisters should be waking up now, go on up and wake them up Dark."
"Yea, yea I got it."
Dark frowned and walked through the house wondering where "go on up" was, luckily his little rodent friends were there to help, they had to run to catch up and they talked to him with their high squeaky little voices, the rats lead him to a staircase as he went up the rats disappeared and somehow magically appeared at the top. Giving him a short tour before telling him where the evil step sisters were sleeping, Dark opened the door, it was pitch black, so he went over and opened the curtains.
"AH! MY EYES! I'M BLIND!"
A hiss, "THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!"
The screams scared the shit out of Dark who stumbled and fell, he sat on his butt until his vision cleared, and the first thing he saw was, a foot. Not just any foot, an extremely long and hideous foot, that very foot started going down towards him in slow motion, the boy just stared at it hitting the ground until some sense managed to pound it's way back into his head. He blinked for a second watching the owner of the foot sit up, they stared at each other and blinked then they screamed bloody hell, the person grabbed a pillow and threw it at Dark, it hit him square in the face, muffling his scream of pure terror with a "wumph".
The next thing Dark knew, he had ran into a stable he never knew the house had, he rubbed his eyes, then his nose whining to himself, "I swear! I was going to go blind! My eyes hurt..."
The stable had a horse, a dog and somehow the rats just magically appeared out of nowhere. Dark sighed, "This is hell..."
The horse whinnied to show Dark just how much it pitied him, he smiled and petted the horse, "Horsy! At least someone looks somewhat normal here."
"Dark! Where are you!? Come over here NOW!"
"Where are you?"
"In the kitchen!"
"And that is..."
"Main floor!"
"Kay..."
Finally, after what seemed like hours of searching, Dark found the kitchen, there stood the evil stepmother and evil stepsisters, the boy avoided their faces since he valued his eyes, "Yea...what do you want?"
"You, young man have to do chores."
The evil stepsisters gasped, "Mother! You mean she's a boy!?"
Dark nearly choked on air at the comment, "No shit, oh my god! What do you know? I'm a boy! Whoa! No way!"
"Shut up Dark and get to work."
"I can't do chores, I'm fire-prone."
"Excuses, excuses...GET TO WORK!"
"Whoa...alright, alright, what the hell am I suppose to do?"
"...you can start off by sweeping the hallway."
"What the fuck!? And that's like how long!?"
"DO IT!"
Dark sighed and threw his arms up in defeat, "Okay, okay, just don't blame me if anything gets set on fire."
The stepmother didn't have a comeback for that one, "Just go."
"Hai..."
Dark stalked off with the broom the stepmother passed to him, "Kyu?"
"Yes With, I have to sweep this endless hallway even though I'm more likely to set it on fire, and-don't-ask."
"Kyu!"
Before he reached the end of the hallway of hell, he started dragging the broom, and it snapped in half, Dark stopped and turned around, he stared at the broom then he started on his way back to the kitchen, at least it didn't catch on fire...he kicked the sweeping end of the broom, it went down the hall at such an incredible speed thanks to the slipperiness of the marble tiled floor, it caught on fire. Alright...I take that back...I'm seriously fire-prone, I wonder why I haven't been killed in a fire yet...oh right, stakes, fire, Krad, so that's why...I miss him...I wanna go home! He headed back to the kitchen where the stepmother was still standing, she gave him that odd look that said "what-the-hell-are-you-doing-back-here?"
"Uhhh...the broom kind of...broke..."
"And how did that happen?"
"Uhhh...it snapped then the other half caught on fire for some reason..."
The stepmother raised a brow as though not convinced, "Is that so?"
"Yea..."
"Very well, go grab a pail and fill it with water..." and she gave out a long line of instructions, "Do you understand?"
Dark nodded for a bit, then stopped and started shaking his head, the old woman sighed and rubbed her temples, "Go grab a rag, a bucket of water and start washing the floors, you can't possibly set that on fire..."
"I wouldn't bet on it..." Dark muttered under his breath, but he went off and did as he was instructed anyways.
On the way down the hall Dark slipped on the tiles and the water that use to be in the pail was all over the floors. The boy just stood there staring at the floor dumbfound, then the evil stepsisters came along. It all happened in slow motion through Dark's eyes, they stepped on the water and slipped with a really low, "Wwwwwhhhhhoooooaaaaa..."
Dark closed his eyes and listened for the crash, there were two thuds that soon followed, when he finally forced an eye open he saw the two laying in a head, their puffy dresses made them more tangled up. The stepmother came bustling along down the hall, Dark covered his eyes again as the lady slipped and joined the heap on the floor.
"...ouch...that's gotta hurt."
The stepmother shrieked, "How did this happen!?"
"...I tripped..."
"You-you..."
She didn't finish since someone knocked on the door, Dark paused then went and answered the door since the other three were temporarily unavailable, he swung the door open, there was a man in a page suit, Dark blinked, the man was short and pudgy, he had a long white curly wig on his head which was probably all shiny and bald, Dark gawked for a moment, "Whoa...nice wig..."
The man glared at the boy and cleared his throat, then announced, "There is a ball being held tonight as a celebration of Prince Charming's return, you and any other ladies of the house are invited to the castle for the ball where Prince Charming will pick his bride."
Dark looked bored and yawned, "Uh huh, that's very nice and all-bye." Then he slammed the door in the page's face.
By the time he reached the three, they had untangled themselves and were frolicking around happily in their soaking wet dresses, "Yay! A ball! We're going to a ball! And Prince Charming will marry me!"
"No! He'll marry me!"
"No! Me!"
Then came the cat fight, luckily, the wise old, very old stepmother stepped in, "Now girls, go find a dress and we'll get going."
They squealed and headed upstairs, the stepmother took a look a Dark, "You on the other hand are staying here."
"I didn't say I want to go."
"Well either way you aren't going since you didn't complete a single chore and you don't have proper ball wear."
Dark shrugged. "Like I said, I don't want to go."
"...go make tea for your sisters."
"I just got here today, I'm not related to any of you."
"Oh quiet you, away with you!"
"Hai, hai..." Dark turned around and headed into the kitchen, a second later he headed back out with a bored expression, he pointed back at the room he had walked out of, "The kitchen's on fire."
The stepmother ran into the kitchen to stop the fire, Dark rolled his eyes and headed up a stairway which he never noticed before. When he reached the top, he couldn't believe what he saw, a really pretty looking long coat, like the one that evil ugly shriveled up old lady gave him, only with shinier leather. Then rats started filling the room, they were cheering and hugging each other, With covered his eyes with his big fluffy ears, Dark just gawked. One of the rats came up to him, tugging on his pant leg, squeaking about how the jacket was a present to him from...the rats, Dark forced a smile and put the jacket on, it was really comfy, so he decided to show it off. Too bad for him, the second he went downstairs the evil stepsisters took one look at it and shredded it to pieces, the boy glared at them and shook his fist while the rats gathered around and mourned for the shredded coat.
"Well, we'll be off now, ta-ta." The stepmother smiled and waved as the three of them got into a carriage that was waiting for them outside, once the door closed Dark kicked the wall.
"Not fair! How come all the nice coats I get always end up shredded or lost!? It's fucking not fair!!! You-you fugly bums!"
Suddenly, there was a magical sounding "Poof!" Dark whirled around to see a plump looking lady standing there holding a wand.
"Why hello dearie, I heard you crying so I thought I'd drop by."
Dark wasn't in a good mood, "Bug off Obaa-chan, I'm a boy, and I wasn't crying"
The lady giggled, "Sure, sure, I'm your fairy godmother!"
The boy turned around, "Really?"
"Yes, and I know exactly what you want!"
"Yea! I wanna go home!"
"No you don't, you want to go to the ball."
"No I don't, I wanna go home."
"No you don't, you want to meet Prince Charming."
"No I don't, I want to see Krad, the Prince Charmings are messed up."
"YOU WANT TO GO TO THE BALL!"
"Obaa-chan, I think you have the wrong person, I just wanna go home."
The fairy godmother took out a list and scrolled through it, "Are you...Dark Mousy? Cinderella's replacement."
"...not sure bout the last part with that...cinderface? But I'm Dark."
"Then you want to go to the ball!"
"But I don't!"
"Oh shush you, and let me work my magic."
"Wha-"
Dark was cut off, the fairy godmother waved her wand while singing her "bibadi babadi boo" song, and some of the rats ended up being horses, there was one that turned into a coach, and she used a squash for a carriage since there wasn't a pumpkin around. The boy gawked as the magic transformed another rat into a door boy.
"Now dearie, time to work on you...hmmm..."
Dark gulped, he didn't like the way the words were spoken, the fairy godmother waved her wand and in an instant Dark was in a beautiful gown with glass slippers on, "O-oi! What's the big idea!? Why am I in a dress!?"
"According to the list, you want a nice looking gown and glass slippers."
"Hell no! I just want a coat like the one I had until those bums ripped it up."
"Picky, picky, picky...fine...white doesn't suit you anyways."
Dark glared at the old lady, with another flick of her wrist, Dark was wearing another long sleek black coat, it was more comfortable than the other two, he even had nice boots to accompany the coat, though they were somewhat extremely small.
"That's more like it! Hey can I get bigger boots, these are way too small."
"Off to the ball with you! Have a nice time with Prince Charming!"
The boy stayed silent as he stared at the old lady in disbelief, "Bu-but-"
"Off with you! Get into the damn carriage!"
Dark ran to the carriage and the horses started trotting off towards the palace, only then did the fairy godmother smile cheerfully and waved goodbye, "Don't forget to leave before midnight! Every will be gone by then!"
The boy crossed his arms and huffed, "Whatever happened to the good old fat jolly folks?"
When he arrived at the ball, everyone gawked at him, and he didn't like it, everyone was dressed in classy suites and gowns, he felt somewhat excluded, so he just hung around the garden in the back with his drink. He looked inside once, all the girls were gawking at the Prince who sat on his throne giving the occasional smile, he's smile faltered when he saw the evil stepsisters, Dark sighed and went back to staring at the nothingness.
A moment later there was a, "Mind if I join you?"
Dark whirled around, standing there was a prince-like figure with short brown hair and the Prince Charming smile, the boy shrugged.
"Would you like to dance?"
"Not really."
Prince Charming gave him a long blank look that obviously said, "WHAT!? HOW CAN YOU REJECT ME!? I'M PRINCE CHARMING! ANY GIRL WOULD DIE TO DANCE WITH ME! DIE! DIE I SAY! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! HELL'S FROZEN OVER!"
But instead, he smiled with some sort of sparkle in his eye, "Wow, you're the first girl who rejected me, I've decided! You're going to be my bride!"
Dark nearly spat out his drink, "W-what!? I'm a guy damnit! Get it straight!"
"Hm? It doesn't matter, I've decided, you, are, going, to, be, my, bride."
Prince Charming leaned in for a kiss, but luckily the clock struck 11:37 Dark glanced at it, ah screw it, there's only like twenty minutes left anyways, he made a run for it, but it was really uncomfortable running in boots that were too small for him so he kicked them off and ran in his bare feet, he ran all the way back to the house. By the time he actually got into the house his coat disappeared.
"Damn it! There goes another coat..."
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The next early morning, around two in the morning, the page came back, with a pair of shoes, the stepsisters looked at him groggily, "Yes? Has the prince chosen me as his bride?"
The page sweatdropped, "Err...no, but he has decided that whoever's feet fit these boots will be his bride."
He held up a boot and a second later, the stepsisters made a grab for it, the boot ended up being way too small for their oversized, hideous feet, Dark headed over to see what the commotion was, he yawned, "What's all this about?"
The page took a look at him and jumped, "That's the bride! That's the bride! The boy that looks like a girl! He rejected the prince! He's the bride!"
The stepsisters looked at him in horror, "HIM!?"
"Yupyup, him alright!"
Dark didn't stick around to hear the rest of it, he just ran for his dear life, he zipped past the page and onto the streets, the poor rabbit clinging onto the boy's shoulder for dear life, he didn't stop until he felt something pick him up and move at a faster pace, he scowled, "Took you long enough! Oh my god! I almost got married to some guy who enjoyed getting rejected!"
"That's nice, come on now, we need to go to and get you stuck up into a tower with no doors and a single window somehow."
"...great...just great..."
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Sometime in the morning, Prince Charming got impatient, "Servant!"
"Yes prince?"
"I thought you said you found my bride."
"I did sir, but he ran away somehow."
"Hm? Really now? That's the first time that's happened, now I really must have him for a bride! Which way did he go?"
The page pointed to the direction Dark had disappeared off to, Prince Charming got onto his horse and started riding, he rode for some bit until he met up with his fellow Prince Charmings.
"Prince Charmings!"
They turned around and greeted him with the Prince Charming smile™, "Why hello there Prince Charming!"
"Have you seen my bride?"
"No, but we're here to find our damsel in distress, care to join us?"
"Why I'd be delighted to join you, Prince Charmings. Thank you for your gracious offer."
"Think nothing of it Prince Charming." The band of Prince Charmings all smiled at each other and trotted off.
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Krad yawned, he missed the barn, at least he didn't have to sleep in a cave like a bear, his back was sore and his claws were chipped. Boy was Dark going to pay after this, he stretched his wings and flew off, there was a town nearby so he decided to drop by to check it out, there were no people on the streets, except for three hideously ugly ladies, but better than nothing. The blonde walked up to them, they appeared to be dazed out for some reason, Krad had to wave his hand in front of them several times before they finally somwhat snapped out of it.
The stepmother was first to regain her voice, she asked absentmindedly, "Yes?"
The blonde raised a brow and looked down the road which was what everyone seemed to be gawking at, he asked, "What's so interesting about down the road?"
"...the Prince's bride ran down there...and he didn't choose one of my daughters..."
Krad took a look at the stepsisters, he couldn't blame the prince, "Who's the bride?"
"Dark...strange boy that set everything on fire...he rejected..." The stepmother twitched, "Prince...who, enjoyed getting rejected..."
There was no mistake about it, it was Dark alright, the only person who could set the most ridiculous things on fire without meaning to, Krad nodded his thanks, not that they noticed, and ran down the road until he was out of sight, then he turned into a dragon and flew off. At least he knew that Dark rejected the princes, but on the other hand, he couldn't help but shiver at the thought of some prince who enjoyed being rejected.
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With a wave of a wand, could your life really be changed?
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Nya I finally updated! School is living hell. I'm running out of fairy tales again! Help please! I don't know why I can't think of other fairy tales, but I can't nya Please R&R
Hakudoshi-chan- Being sadistic is fun! ) I thought it was about time Dark gets put into a dress nya Fun!
Amethyst Bubble- Last time I left someone trapped in a tent, they dunked me into the lake P But at least it was fun, glad my fic made you do that nya
Mysterious Kaitou- I started chanting darkradarkrad for some reason, it's contageious XD Thankies! You make me feel smart nya D
golden-flame4- Sorry, I had to end that chapter somehow or else I'd end up typing even more, and then it'd take even longer to update, another Prince Charming joins the...umm...Prince Charming club!
Seena58- Thankies! Krad's getting there, kinda slow...but still! I've seen an apple sorta like that once, but that was since I kept on dropping it. P
darksaphire- Lol, I finally updated! Sorry it took like forever, I wish it was a holiday right now!
Pyro Demon- D Glad you like it! I'll update again as soon as I can!
Black Kyra- Gomen, I'll try to add them a bit later, but I just couldn't fit them into this chapter, forgive me? Glad you like the story though )
kat himura- Don't worry, I'll keep updating, maybe a bit slowly, but I will update, thankies nya!