Fairytale Disorder
Chapter 9: It's raining monkeys!
"Damsel thief! Halt in the name of the Prince Charmings!"
Then of course, came the big dramatic gust of wind kind of like a showdown or something. "Ow…something flew into my eye…" Dark grumbled as he rubbed his eyes, "Stupid wind."
"You're not halting!"
Krad raised a brow, "We're not moving at all…"
"Silence! …now what?" The band of Prince Charmings huddled around and started whispering amongst themselves.
"That one might be a witch."
"Au contraire, Prince Charming, witches don't sprout wings."
"Maybe it's another damsel!"
"Oh! Then I believe I have the right of getting that one since I saw her in my dreams."
"Then I get the other one!"
"Didn't she reject you?"
"And that's why I must have her!"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"What?"
"Prince Charmings!"
"Yes?" They all replied.
"There must me a more civilized way to figure this out, now, who wants the dark haired one?"
All of them raised their hands.
"Very well, who wants the golden haired one?"
Again, they all raised their hands.
"…well too bad, only two of us can have them. And I call dibs on at least one of them…"
Krad just sat there, bored, there was a tug at his sleeve, "Hey Krad…when will they be done?"
"Who knows? Hopefully before the sun sets…"
"Why can't we just walk away right now?"
"Because…I don't know why, hell with is, let's go."
The two of them started walking off when suddenly there was a, "Hey! You two damsels! Halt!"
Krad paused, "What did they mean by you two damsels?"
Dark shrugged, "Maybe they think you're a damsel too. They have trouble telling the difference females and males, either that or they don't care and a damsel can be classified as anything that moves…"
Golden eyes blinked, "Since when were you able to speak intelligibly like that?"
"I don't know…"
"Well don't do it again."
"…"
"Halt I say!"
The two turned around to see the Prince Charmings' heads sticking out of the grass, not extremely tall but tall enough to see their whole heads, and the six of them flashing their Prince Charming smile™ which scared Krad terribly. It caused him to shiver despite the sun which was beating over them. "Does that freak you out as much as it freaks me out?"
"Which part?" Dark blinked as all six of them ran a hand through their hair, "The teeth? Or the hand through hair part?"
"Both."
The boy nodded, "Yea, why do they keep doing that?"
Krad shrugged and took a step back, "How did I end up a damsel in distress?"
Dark looked him over, "Well…you appear to be more feminine than I do, and if they can imagine me as a damsel, than you too, since you're more like a damsel than me in the outer appearance, could be considered a damsel in distress awaiting them to rescue you."
"Stop that!"
"Stop what?"
"Stop talking like that! You don't usually use words with more than two syllables!"
"Huh? What did I say?" The blonde repeated the boy's phrase, "Whoa…what did that mean?"
"It means that since they can think of you as a damsel, I'm more likely to be considered one because…hey! I'm not feminine!"
"Yes you are!"
"No I'm not!"
Yes you are!
Shut up!
You're very girly so suck it up and deal with it!
I'm not girly!
You're acting like a whiny girl right now! Girly!
Shut up! You're annoying me!
You have long hair too!
I like my hair!
And you're all pale!
So? A lot of people are pale!
That's a filthy lie.
Well I bet they're pale in foreign contries!
You have very slim shoulders.
…so? That doesn't mean I'm girly!
And you have a liking for chicken!
…what does that have to do with anything?
I just felt like mentioning it…
Great…now I want chicken…
"Krad?"
The dragon blinked and looked at the boy, "Yea?"
"They went back to they're little huddling thing…do you think they're huddling for warmth?"
"Oh, that's interesting, I doubt they're huddling for warmth-and-no-I'm-not-girly."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you-monkey!"
Krad frowned, "I monkey?"
Just then, a monkey fell and plopped right between them making them yelp and jump away. Apparently one had fallen right in the middle of the huddle of Prince Charmings, they screamed in a very girly way and shuddered.
"That is disgusting!"
"What is that?"
"It's a monkey!"
"Monkey?"
"With wings!"
"With wings?"
"That's hideous!" Squealed one of the Prince Charmings' as he grabbed one by the collar and flung it towards another prince.
"Get it away from me! Mother says it's improper to deal with such…dirty animals!"
The other five nodded in agreement, "Such filthy animals…they ought to be ashamed…"
The six of them sighed and shook their heads until they head the cries of the monkeys. "It came from above…"
"Right you are Prince Charming."
Smile, smile.
"I do believe we should tilt our heads upwards and see what's happening to the sky above us which seems to be filled with horrible monkey cries…"
"Yes we should…"
So they looked up, boy, what a mistake. The sky was filled with monkeys and a couple dozen at a time, they began to fall. And they were so busy dodging monkeys, not bullets, monkeys, that they didn't notice the witches, both good and bad appear. They turned to each other.
"You!" They both screamed.
"Glinda…"
The good witch thought for a moment, "…ugly witch…"
The queen frowned at the name, but really, she didn't go by any other name than 'The Queen' and 'The Ugly Witch' which she was not particularly fond of, "These must be your monkeys! They can't even fly properly! Good witch my butt!"
"Better than you! You ugly…witch!"
"I'm not ugly!"
"Have you ever looked in a mirror?"
"Yes! I look in one every day!"
"…don't they break?"
"That's none of your business!"
"Aha! So I was right about that!"
"You're supposed to be good!"
"Not anymore! Why else am I sending my evil flying monkeys out?"
"Because you've finally lost it."
"…no…well technically yes, but I'm in denial at the moment…"
"I see…so these monkeys are yours?"
"Yea…"
"They're slightly…pathetic…"
"I know…shut up."
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Meanwhile…Dark and Krad were trying to avoid the falling monkeys too. The blonde had pulled the boy into a protective embrace, shielding his head. It took awhile, but finally, it happened, a monkey landed on the blonde's head, the dragon looked up. The monkey was snuggling against his hair. "Okay…"
Dark looked up, "Krad? There's a monkey on your head…"
"I know."
"I think it's nuzzling you…"
"I know."
The monkey growled and bared its teeth against the boy, who glared back, "Hey back off! I was here first!" Krad blinked, what was going on? Dark was arguing with the monkey which was on his head…the boy backed off a couple steps as the monkey crawled onto his shoulder and lashed out the violet haired boy. Dark growled and pulled it off the dragon and flung it far, far away. "I hate monkeys…"
"Alright…what was that about?"
"You have primitive fans."
"Do you even know what primitive means?"
"No…"
"I see…"
Dark gave the blonde a hug, "You're mine, not some monkey who landed on your head's."
The dragon raised a brow, "What?"
"What?"
"You just spoke a very…un-Dark-like sentence…"
"I did?"
"Did you suffer from brain damage?"
"Did I?"
The two looked at each other in mildly confused and awkward silence.
"Krad…I'm bored…"
The dragon yawned, "Wonder what'll happen now…"
"Kyu…"
Dark looked down, "Oh With, you're still here!"
"Kyu, kyu!"
Krad raised a brow, you're jealous.
No I'm now.
Yes you are.
No I'm not!
Yes you are! And you're jealous of a rabbit!
How can I be jealous of a rabbit! I'm not jealous!
Yes you are!
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I'm not listening to you anymore!
Like that's going to work…
Shut up!
Fine, I won't tell you about the flying monkey that's about to crash into you then…
Huh?
Krad looked up and was attacked by a flying monkey which knocked him off balance which resulted in him landing on his butt on the ground, "Stupid voice…"
"Krad? That monkey just knocked you off your feet…"
"I know…I'm never listening to that stupid voice again…"
Dark blinked, "…okay…"
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Soon, the 'battlefield' was covered in monkeys, Glinda the good witch and the ugly witch were still at it. Only this time, they fought with monkeys. "You stupid no good witch! Die!" The evil queen yelled as she chucked another monkey at her sworn enemy.
"Shut up you ugly witch!" Chuck, chuck.
"The last time you tried to lead Dorothy home, you had the munchkins eat her alive! You're evil!" More monkeys were thrown.
"Like you should be talking! I bet you've done worse!"
"No I haven't…"
There was a pause.
"So you're actually the relatively evil queen?"
"I guess and you'd be…Glinda the…evil witch."
And suddenly…hell froze over. Not literally…but an ominous shadow covered the field. Everyone looked up, floating there, was the dragon of the castle. With a mighty roar, he landed, squishing any unfortunate monkeys that just so happened to be in his way. And a voice called out, "Hail! The slowest dragon of this place!"
The relatively evil queen blinked, "I know that voice…"
Glinda the evil witch raised a brow, "Is it a relative of yours?"
"No."
"Oh…"
"It's my mirror. Or what used to be my mirror."
"I see…" Then Glinda the evil witch laughed, cackled actually, since that's what evil witches did, "Ex-mirror, ex-mirror of the ugly witch, who's the evilest of us all?"
"Neither of you, the evilest of them all would be Dorothy, who now lives among the munchkins, plotting for her revenge. Just you wait Glinda…the relatively evil witch, she's coming after you first."
Glinda got the goosebumps from the little…prophecy.
Then the Prince Charmings' stepped up, running a hand through their messed up hair, "Shard, shard, in front of us, who're the most charming ones of all?"
"It's…Dark Mousy. No further comment."
The princes gaped, "How about intelligent?"
"That'd be me." The shard replied without attempting to sound modest.
"What about…pretty?" The six of them asked with a confident nod of their head.
"That'd be Krad."
The dragon paused, him? Pretty? That's just not fair…at least Dark got something more…masculine like charming and he was stuck with pretty? Pretty? Out of all words! There was a tug at his sleeve, "Yea?"
"They look somewhat mad…"
Indeed they did, the six Prince Charmings had their swords out and looked about ready to kill them, "No on takes our titles away!"
Great…first they want to wed us and now they want to kill us…
Lovely isn't it?
Yup…wait, I'm not listening to you anymore!
Immature…
Not listening!
"Well…this is…just great…"
Dark nodded at the sarcasm, "What now?"
"We run."
They were about to flee when there was a gust of wind and in front of them, stood the demons, "Hey there's one more job…" They looked around, "This doesn't seem like a good time…maybe we'll try again later-"
"It's you two! They're the ones who took me away in the first place!" Dark pointed at them and looked over to the dragon who looked over at the two, golden eyes glowing.
The demons gulped, they were officially stuck between a band of murderous Prince Charmings and a murderous dragon and very stressed out witches who needed professional help, "This doesn't look good at all…"
The shard paused, "I foresaw this you know…"
The dragon rolled its eyes and gave a sarcastic snort.
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Nya
After months and months I update! Only like...one or two chapters left :O Dark and Krad are possessive while monkeys continue to fall out of the sky. Note: no monkeys were harmed during this productiontion thingy... And Glinda the relatively evil witch is good no more XD More mayhem to be ensued, next time :D Sorry for the slow update!