Fairytale Disorder

Chapter 10: Happily Ever After

Krad watched as the demons hugged one another in fright, much to his amusement, "I never did like demons…"

Violet eyes blinked, "Really? I thought you didn't like lizards…"

Leave it to the boy to kill the mood, "Yea, I hate those too…"

Dark pouted, "But they're so cute!"

"No they're not! They're disgusting, scaly creatures with forked tongues!"

"Aren't those snakes?"

"No!" The dragon snarled before turning his attention back to the demons, "Either way, I still don't like demons."

Dark shrugged, "Well I can't say anything about that."

"No, no you can't."

"Wait…actually, yes I can!"

He rolled his eyes and looked over, "And what would that be?"

"I could tell you that that'd cruel and bias but I won't."

"If you're not going to say it then don't say it."

"But I could've said it."

Krad frowned and looked at the boy, "But you just said that you wouldn't say it."

"Yea I won't but I could've."

And once again, you're on the side of wrong.

I am not!

Remember that time you screamed when that lizard landed on you?

Shut up! That was a long time ago!

Aren't they your distant relative or something? I mean you're all scaly and pretty stupid.

No! That's an insult to me! I'd never be related to those…things!

Sure, in denial now are we…

I've got to figure out a way to get rid of you…

Go jump off a bridge.

The demons blinked as the dragon began to scowl at something unseen, the tiny one looked over at his partner in crime, "What's wrong with him?"

The larger demon shrugged.

After a moment, the Prince Charmings regained the senses, "Now where were we…oh yes…no one and I mean no one takes our titles away!"

Dark raised a brow, "No…we're past that part, we're at the part where we're all turning murderous to the demons. Get up to date!"

One of the Prince Charmings gave a cry, a very dramatic one like something had just hurt him terribly, "I've just been hurt terribly by your stinging, oh so very, very cruel words!"

Then there was a pause…a very long pause.

-tick-tick-tick-

Then night came, and Krad swore, "Crap! It's almost dawn!"

Everyone turned their attention to him with interest, "Yea? What about dawn? Does something magical happen?" Krad shot them all a skeptical look.

"Do you turn into a magical fairy?"

He stared, "…no."

"A unicorn?"

"No."

"Have you ever eaten a unicorn?"

"No…they're fattening…"

Then came another pause.

And then, much to everyone who were now very calm and slightly tired's surprise, there was a yell, several of them, six somewhat shrilly voices called out, "Prince Charming!"

Everyone looked over to see six damsels storming towards them, they gavea dramatic gasp, "What!.? But you were supposed to be in parallel danger! And we were supposed to rescue you!"

The one with skin as fair as snow and hair as black as night and lips as red as blood frowned, "What are you talking about?"

The prince gasped, "You're awake...and alive! You were supposed to have eaten a horrible deformed apple from the somewhat evil and very vain queen witch lady and fainted away until I give you a chaste kiss on the lips!"

"You princes…you're all such losers!" The one with blonde hair and cinder for eye shadow.

Another prince gasped, "No one's ever called me a loser before! I love you! Marry me and together we'll live happily ever after!"

Pause pause. Both Dark and Krad shuddered.

Then the damsel with a face as fair as a portrait, a good one obviously, not that anyone could tell with the facial mask she had on snapped, "You missed out on the tea party!"

The prince from the castle clapped at the no longer sleeping beauty, more like the damsel in a facial mask, "Oh! Oh! Oh I so do love tea parties!"

Dark made a puking gesture while Krad tried to get rid of the goosebumps on his arm by rubbing it. Another damsel spoke up, she had eye bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, having damsel-quality was hard work, "I know…" She mumbled sleepily.

The first prince charming gasped, "You look terrible!"

"Why didn't you guys show up?" Asked the girl who had a couple dozen feet of hair dragging behind her.

"We were pursuing the demons who stole the damsels in distress of course!"

"…why isn't he still in his beastly form?" The brunette frowned as she pointed to the no longer beastly prince charming.

"Well…I was cured!"

"How?"

"The hard and just ever so painful way…"

"By who?"

"Her."

He pointed to Dark who frowned, "I'm a he! He I say! Is that so hard to figure out?"

The blonde shook his head and sighed, "They're not listening, just give up, you'll never get it through their skulls."

Cinderella frowned, "That's scheduled for next week!"

The Prince Charmings blinked and pulled out a schedule as did the demons, "Is it? …oh! It is!"

The demons huffed as they flipped through the paper, "So…we're supposed to be slain next week?"

Dark and Krad just stared at one another them back at the group of distressed damsels and confused Prince Charmings.

They were in their 'hmmmm' stage, rubbing their chins as though very interested they nodded, "Well…what do you know, we missed out on chess…hunting and" gasp "no! We missed out on the sales at beauty bargains where cosmetics such as skin care and hair care products' prices are reduced greatly! I can't believe we ended up chasing a damsel for that!" Dramatic swoon, "Oh woe is us! Our hair will never shine the same! Our teeth will never sparkle charmingly! And…and our skin won't look as fair as fair things at fairs which are indeed very very just ever so fair! Tear."

"Wow…just…wow. They're so feminine it's funny to the point of being sick." The dragon muttered at the princes' show of dismay.

Rapunzel crossed her arms, "Now if you don't mind. Let's go back and set everything back before the day after tomorrow. You can always go shopping tomorrow."

"B-but…"

No longer sleeping beauty frowned, "The sales are still going to be there tomorrow!"

"But all the finest products that we usually use would be sold out!"

The beauty shook her head, "No they won't now let's go! We need to turn you back into a beast."

Snow White nodded, "We need to find replacements for the mirror and seven short men."

"What happened to them?"

"They were eaten by the big fat wolf and the mirror is no more…"

"And I need to find" Cinderella shuddered, "…rags."

"I need coffee…"

"I need my beauty sleep."

"So hurry up!"

The princes turned around obediently, swooped up the damsels, loaded them on their horses and rode off with their Prince Charming Smiles® while the damsels did their Damsel in Distress Wave of Goodbye and Farewell and Best Wishes® along with their Damsel in Distress Smiles®. The damsel who couldn't sleep due to her damsel-quality and the evil pea turned around and looked at the demons, "Be on time." Then she looked at the two witches who were gawking like the dragons, the boy and the shard though it had no eyes, "…we're going to need a new ugly evil witch too."

Snow White nodded, "We can have our 'the royal highnesses' take care of it tomorrow."

"Right you are fair damsel."

"Let us be off."

"Prince Charmings with fair damsels on their horses with them, onwards!"

"Ay!"

Then they left and just like that they were gone. The only trace that they were there and everything that just happened actually happened was the trail of hair that was slowly getting dragged along, Krad winced as he watched it shrink away, petting his own ponytail.

"Who would've thought that would've happened…I thought we were goners."

The dragon looked down, "Goners? Us? No way."

"You're so reassuring Krad…"

The two looked over at the demons, who scratched their heads, "So that's why we couldn't find damsels to kidnap…"

"Yea…maybe it was a mistake to bring him along then…"

The boy frowned, "You think?"

"Yes well, too bad for you, consider it a valuable experience that you'll never forget."

The larger demon nodded, "Well, we better be off, we have to get ready for kidnapping them again next week. Bye."

Then they too were off in the form of a gust of wind.

The somewhat evil and very vain queen witch lady looked around, "Whatever happened to the relatively evil witch Glinda? I better go find her to continue our duel."

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Somewhere else…

"W-what are you doing?"

"Glinda the good witch, prepare to meet your maker if not makers!"

"My parents?"

"…sure why not."

"By the way, I'm Glinda the relatively evil witch now you know…"

"Oh really? Who would've thought but you'll never compare to me in evilness!" Moohahahahaha, "Come along Toto, we have to wreck more havoc."

"Who are you?"

"I am…the evil Dorothy of Oz! Bring her to the cell block!"

The tin man dragged his feet along, "Yes master…"

"Why are we doing this to the good witch?" Stupid, stupid scarecrow…

"Because she's bad."

"I see…"

"Do as I say already!"

The cowardly lion nodded, "Y-yes evil mistress Dorothy of Oz!"

Then the munchkins began to chant, "Hail the evil master/mistress/person/crazy dude of Oz!"

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"…I foresaw this too you know."

The two looked at the shard, the dragon huffed and flew off with it still in his claw thinger. It needed to prepare to get slain sometime next week.

Dark turned to Krad, "Well wasn't that very interesting…"

The dragon nodded stupidly, "Yea…"

First they want to wed then kill then they ignore…and it was all part of a schedule? How annoying.

Are you disappointed?

Why would I be?

Because you didn't get to be Dark's knight in shining armor.

Shining armor is rare to come by and very very unhealthy…but no that's not why.

Are you sure?

Yes.

No you're not.

My god! Why do you even bother asking if you're just going to be all 'no you're not' on me after I answer you anyways? You're so annoying! What do I have to do to shut you up?

You know very well what you have to do…

…I do?

Wow you're stupid, do I have to explain everything?

Well for this you do.

"Krad?"

"Huh?"

Violet eyes blinked, "You really have to stop zoning out like that."

"Sorry…"

Dark was first to confess, "I missed you."

Say it…

He gave an inward sigh as he too fessed up, "I…I was worried about you."

"You were?"

"No really…why else did I come after you?"

"Because you wanted to yell at me for being stupid…again?"

Krad paused, "Yea…actually that was my first reason then I realized that I was actually worried," then he muttered under his breath, "no thanks to that stupid voice…"

"What?"

"Nothing, I was very worried just so you know."

Dark smiled, "Thanks…coming from you that means a lot."

Golden eyes blinked, "Does it?"

"Yes. Yes it does, more than you'll ever know."

The dragon shrugged, "Well I'm not going to argue with that." He smiled and wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulder, "Come on, we better get going home."

"Yea, it'll be nice to go home…"

Wings sprouted from the blonde's back, "Come on then my little damsel."

"I'm not a damsel!"

"Either way come on since you do realize that I have to change back by dawn and let's just hope we're not still in the air by then."

Dark paused, "…what if we are?"

"Let's just hope we don't come to that."

Dark stared at him in silence.

Krad laughed and kissed the boy on the lips lightly, "You're so gullible."

The boy blushed at the kiss, "So what does happen then?"

"…you probably would be better off not knowing…" And without another word he swept the boy off his feet literally and took off. That night they spent their night sleeping in a cave…how romantic. Dark curled up to the dragon, using the tail as a blanket as the two drifted off to sleep. "Sleep tight."

"You too."

And they lived happily ever after.

Technically they didn't until they got back home…and even then they still had arguments, but, that's not the point. In the very very very very end they did live happily ever after unlike a certain relatively witch called Glinda…

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"Wha…what are you doing?"

"Burn her! Burn her!"

"No! No! Don't burn her! Don't burn her!"

"Burn her! Burn her!"

She watched as little munchkins danced in circles around the stake where she was tied, each with a little torch in its hands chanting, "Burn her! Burn her!"

And standing a bit away, she could see Dorothy standing there, cackling evilly as she petted her dog, she smirked darkly that shadow which a lot of villains and really evil people have when they're looking…evil, evil by tilting their heads down and looking up with that evil smile they have, yes, that shadow cast over her face…mostly over her eyes as she cackled, "Excellent…soon…I'll take over the world!" Cackle, cackle.

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"…screw that stupid relatively evil witch…" The somewhat evil and very vain queen witch lady spoke as she kicked some random piece of rubble on the ground, she was wandering around some random town when, "Hey! Look a sale on skin care products!"

Unfortunately for her, she had an allergic reaction which caused…terrible, terrible results, and after that, she ended up locking herself up in a tower for the rest of eternity, praying on young girls for their youth…until some kid threw a lumpy, distorted apple up there as a dare and killed the witch…by accident. How ironic.

The boy of course, became a hero. A very famous one at that. But he was later attacked by a 'friendly' deer by the name of Bambi. Bambi and his gang of 'cute and cuddly' animal friends such as Flower and Thumper...the skunk and the rabbit who were later shot by the hunter who saved little red riding hood who ended up getting eaten by the big fat wolf anyways.

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"Is it dried? Is it dried?"

"No!"

"Oh! Oh! Do my hair next!"

"Why? Where's your damsel?"

"Oh…she's asleep. Where's yours?"

"She's doing chores."

"Mine's drinking coffee…again."

"Mine's washing her hair, she's been at it for two days now…"

"Mine's off getting poisoned by poisoned apples, she'll never learn."

"Mine's off singing with talking furniture."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…oh."

"…what!.? She does that a lot!"

Pause pause.

"…so is it my hair dried yet?"

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"…I saw this coming you know…"

And with a flick of a tail, the dragon of the Dragon's Castle shot the shard far far away…

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"I foresaw this too…"

Dark looked down, "Hey Krad! It's the talking shard again!"

Golden eyes looked over boredly, "Get rid of it, I don't need a talking shard around."

"How do I get rid of it?"

"Go bury it or something."

"Where?"

"Somewhere away from here, I don't want to hear it."

"What? You can't do this to me! I'm the talking shard!"

Krad's eyes narrowed, "Oh yes I can…"

"Kyu?"

"Come on With, let's go bury this thing."

"I'm not a thing!"

Dark shrugged, "You are around here."

And so, he took the shard somewhere pretty far away, out of hearing distance of the dragon and buried it. After that, they lived happily ever after.

Owari

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Nya

And much to Krad's surprise, he found that after he confessed, the voice stopped bugging him XD After like I'm not sure how long, I finished this fic! Time to start new ones...whenever I get time to type, sad...time used to be...not a problem :( tear. Anyways, thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed this fic :) Damsels are strange creatures aren't they? Just like Bambi and friends...evil evil deer... o.O Yea well...thanks for reading and reviewing! Hope I'll see you peoples around :D