PART TWO

Disclaimer: Mt. Thomas and all characters belong to Blue Heelers, Southern Star and Channel 7.

Later that night Amy sat in her office, alone with her thoughts, oddly comforted by the stark silence and still of the deserted station. Her conversation with Alex was still on her mind. She just couldn't figure him out. He must have found out about her past either when her uncle had come to the station or when she had been kidnapped by Steven Prior. Either way, he had never let on. Why was that? Why did he only say that he cared now? Did he even care? Was it care? Kindness? Or pity?

"Amy."

She turned to see PJ standing at the door, in the dim light smiling at her.

"Do you want to come for a drink? Chris is putting on a bit of a farewell at the pub for me tonight. It's not a big deal but…"

Amy had already learnt of PJ's farewell drinks that day in the station but upon hearing about it, she had already made the subconscious decision not to go.

She held a strong dislike for social gatherings which branched from her childhood. After her parents had been killed she found it hard to socialize with people her own age. She felt older, more mature – less in touch with them. They were always complaining about their parents not buying them something and as they got older not letting them go out to parties – Amy didn't have this problem – her parents had died when she was eight. Her Aunty Sally wasn't very strict in that arena but Amy didn't take advantage of this like her peers would have expected her to. She had a different set of worries, far greater than not being allowed to go to a party and these made her feel different and uncomfortable. This feeling was only compounded when her Uncle John had started doing - what he did to her.

Even now, fifteen years later she still felt socially inadequate. She had gotten so used to being by herself she felt distinctly uncomfortable in large social situations. Work was different. At work there was always something to do, something to change the subject to; a focus, a goal. Amy was good at her job and she often comforted herself with the fact that no matter how socially inadequate she was, she was made up for it with the calibre of her work. She had often been told that she was the most conscientious hard working detective that her superior's had come across in a long time and how impressed they were with her 'passion for the job'. People often put her late nights at the office down to this. Sometimes it was true, but sometimes it was only for lack of anything else to do. She always declined the offer for a drink at the pub. Her colleagues were nice and caring but she didn't feel connected to them outside of the workplace. She had no special bond with anyone. Jonesy and Kirby had their friendship which originated back to their childhood days and they often initiated easy camaraderie with the younger members of the station. PJ and the boss had been friends a long time and easy going Mark was a friend to everyone. Kelly and Susie were firm friends and joked and laughed about clothes and life and guys on a daily basis despite the age difference. They shared common interests and as the only uniformed girls in the station they had a bond. Today Amy had accidentally walked in on them having a D+M in the mess room about if they'd even find the perfect guy. They'd tried to include her in the conversation but she'd tactfully made up an excuse and left. Susie and Kelly obviously were waiting for the perfect guy who would shower them with love and attention and security and comfort.

Amy didn't know if she desired this.

She'd gotten enough unwanted 'love' if you could call it that and attention as a kid and she didn't know if she ever wanted to feel that again. Her image of love had been tainted early on and she was aware that she had a warped picture of what it was but she still wasn't sure if she wanted to find out what love was. Amy had experienced a lot of let downs in her life and in her mind, this would inevitably be another notch to add to her belt. But yet, she did want security, comfort, someone to love – and someone to love her. But it was hard to know who you could trust and who you couldn't. Amy had learnt that. In fact she had learnt that it was too hard in most cases. So she just steered clear altogether.

But she looked up at PJ, and his caring, fatherly expression. He waited patiently for her answer. Amy knew he had no ulterior motive. Even with no desire to press into his life, she'd heard from station chatter and gossip about his life. How he had lost his mother, and how he had lost his first fiancée Maggie who she knew the boss also had a special place in his heart for. She had also found out that his second fiancé had died in the bombing, the even which's aftermath brought her to Mt Thomas. PJ had lived it tough; she knew that much, but he still managed to be warm and caring. And through almost a year now of working closely together PJ showed her that he cared. Granted he had pressed harder then she would've liked with the whole situation about her uncle but she knew he had only done it because he cared. Because he wanted to look after her. And even now, she could see him looking out for her through subtle questions and friendly chats. He was the closest she had to a friend and he'd earned her trust – he was one of the only people she never felt threatened by.

And now he was leaving. She didn't know whether she felt relieved or sad. The relief came from knowing that the feeling of exposure that she felt with PJ at times was soon to end. Amy had told him so much about herself, much more than any of her other colleagues knew that she at times felt almost vulnerable by how much he knew about her. However it was because of what he knew that he was so protective of her – and she really appreciated his effort, even if she had a hard time showing it. However, head and shoulders above, she was sad – she was really going to miss him. Amy would miss the way he would galumph into the office every day in his familiar leather jacket, his face warm and fervent. She would miss his passion. She knew he loved being in CI and he was good at what he did because of it. Case after case Amy could almost see his mind ticking over time, taking in and analyzing information, scratching layers from the surface before he got to the truth. Maybe PJ would be better off in Melbourne – more cases, more action and fewer memories. But she would still miss him. And after everything, Amy realized that she at least owed him a farewell drink.

"You know what? I think I will."

Please R+R and tell me what you thought!