Chapter 3

Gwaren Hall, Month 7 - Solace, 8:99 of the Blessed Age.

Deedo was cloaked as she hovered near Maric. He sat hunched, penning letter after letter. He slept little, pushed towards the people's belief he was indeed the Maker's Chosen. Blessed sent to free them from the Orlesian's oppressive yoke.

Loghain walked in and Deedo made an infinitesimal gesture that alerted the rogue to her presence. Loghain dreaded what was about to be uttered. His scouts informed him of his growing suspicion, coupled with his dismissal from the High Elf. The traitorous wench had tried to kill them all. "Maric, we need to talk."

Deedo stepped further back into the shadows of the hall. Her stomach churned. As she silently listened to their conversation. Each word that fell from Maric's lips after made her wish to flee to her home that instant. Knew she would have to let him go completely.

Loghain had uttered one simple phrase that crushed hope in Deedolit's heart, "She is an elf. Do you think the people will accept an elven queen? What would you do about the Chantry? Knowing they would block you at every turn?" Loghain was right, they wouldn't, not one elf held authority, and she blended more like a human the elves here proved that with her.

'Once they crowned the Prince King…' she thought to herself, 'Only then I can leave.' In the short time she had been there, she knew, even if Katriel never to have shown up, they, Maric and she could never be.

"I would then, give it all up."

A burble of thunder rolled outside as did the heart of the Koada'dal. "All the fighting, the lives given. The people love you. Your mother fought and died for this land, for you. To cast aside without a hesitant thought?" She paused but a second, what she said truth. As much as it hurt, she had not aided him to throw it away, because it was the simple thing to do. "Think to the men, women, and children who we had to leave, to bury, to go back to bury and mourn. Cast your thoughts to them."

A matter of moments passed. The young woman in question entered warily. Emerald eyes flicked towards Loghain who regarded her with his icy glare, then a pair of aquamarine eyes glowing from the shadows paused her but for a second. As Deedo turned into a bird before her eyes landed on the back of the chair Maric sat, then a cat landed on the papers before the Prince, then in her natural form stood next to Loghain.

The gravity of the situation, Katriel knew from that instant they had followed her, but not by who. She knew, slim her chances of Maric swaying to her would be near impossible with the ever present rigid loyal hounds by Maric's side, between the two of them, which one told.

"You went to Denerim." Maric stated, giving no way for her to see it as a question.

With the icy glare of Loghain and Deedo, cooly stared at the small Elven woman as both awaited the answer. Both knew where she had slipped off days ago. She focused solely on her Prince. "Then, you know." Her statement on par with the Prince.

Maric's head tilt through narrowed eyes, piercing the girl's heart. "What do I know?" This was not her Prince, not the man whom she expunged her servitude for. Her heart was with Maric, refusing to break her gaze. They cried together. Maric, furious it was a sham, duped, blinded by her honeyed curls and sweet chased talk.

Stepping closer to the man she broke her contract for, "I tried warning you, thou did not wish to hear me when I went to explain… I am not… who you think I am." she hiccuped. "I tried." Her voice cracked.

Maric bore down on her, towering over her slight frame, "Of West Hill?" with a nod of her head, Maric paled.

The sound of Maric's pent fury reverberating off of the empty hall caused Deedo to jump in fright. The sickening sound of pierced flesh rang in their ears, the lonely words of, "I was a fool."

Chilled the Enchantress. Deedo could not move. Loghain shielded her when the dagger had been in Maric's hand. He watched as Maric left to his bedchamber in obvious grief. Deedo blinked rapidly. It happened so quickly, the gasp that escaped the small Elven woman's lips echoed that of the High Elf. Latched tightly to Loghain's damp cloak, she trembled. Steeling her agitated nerves, she looked at the prone corpse of Katriel.

She had warned her of her suspicious actions. Deedo gave her a choice, 'You stand with him, or against him.'

Katriel saw that the tall elf kept her distance from him, more so after the night she first laid with the Prince, and would use that to her advantage. Had not counted on the Prince to reciprocate her illusory act.

Katriel knew Maric loved Deedo and she could give away her secret, but she did not. The tall woman gave her a choice.

Maric chose not to hear Katriel out when they were all trapped in ruins of the Deep Roads.

Deedo walked over to the body. "I am sorry I could not help you. Why did you not walk away?"

"Why… Didn't… you?" With her last breath, saw the Goddess of Love and Death before her.

Deedo closed the Elven girl's emerald eyes. Deedo laid the body flat, concealed her with the damp cloak. A silent prayer for the small Bard. Loghain hissed, seized the Enchantress by her wrist, trudged out into the thundering night. When they reached Rowan's manor, Loghain knocked once, not awaiting an answer, entered. Deedo saw an opportunity, went to slip past Loghain to seek refuge to hide for the night. Snapped quickly by her elbow, forced to enter the warm room.

Rowan looked expectant. "You told him?" Her first question.

Deedo hung her head. Loghain never released her. "Yes. This is your fault." Wrest Deedo to face him. A stern forefinger pointed to her chest like a sword.

"Mine how? I first let you know what I saw. You told me it was because of my infatuation, now it is my fault?" Deedo nettled. Loghain reached to pull the Elven mage's ear. Deedo flinched at his touch.

Rowan gasped. "You are an elf?" She had known it was possible for the woman's small, tapered ears once before, but she carried herself differently than the elves she was familiar with.

"This is far from my fault, I do not live here, as you said, it is what should be better to appease the subjects." Deedo smoothed her hair down, straightened herself tall once more.

Loghain nodded. She could not stay if she wanted, she said, as much, but now, "Maric killed her."

Rowan paled: "Why she saved his and our lives. Did he not hear her out? Deedolit, you must go to him and make him whole again."

Deedo turned her back, took deep breaths: "That is not possible, I can pose as a human, but I cannot stay." She walked out, left the two of them alone. Every so often would glance toward where Maric lay his head. Conflicted, she could not help but overhear what the two lovers spoke of in the room behind her. Pained to think it stung. She knew what to do, yet was she strong enough to do it?

Rowan blamed herself. She was hurt for Maric. Her affection for Loghain spoke silently as he made the choice for her.

Deedo stood by the window and she heard it all. To the sky she sought answers as the thunder light danced in the rain-filled clouds. One more selfless act: she can go home just to ease a heart. Deedo trembled. Her legs felt like a first born foal, her hands tingle. What she was about to do was right. Knocking once, she came in to find Loghain holding back Rowan by her wrists, a handprint red on his cheek.

"I will go to him." Her eyes hard, they looked at her she shook her head, "You will, I can guise you as myself." Her heart tightened, but her face remained unreadable. Deedo reached her hand to Rowan, cupped her cheeks.

Loghain stood back and watched brown curls lighten and lengthen, her body stretched and lithe. Before him: two identical women, save for the eyes, "You look just like Deedo, but…" Loghain started.

Deedo placed a hand on his arm: "Voice, sound like me as well." Her hand went to her throat and then gently to her double.

"You are ready, hurry." Deedo watched as 'she' walked out of the door, quickly closing the door behind Rowan. She braced her hand on the chair, her nails dug into the wood.

Loghain gritted his teeth, "Her eyes are not your color, you left that on purpose."

The high elf nodded. Her head hung low, nearly doubling her over as if too heavy for her hold up high. She braced herself on the chair near the door. Loghain stepped to the high elf. The fabric of her cloak shook her hair, curtained her face. "Why do you not love him?" He harshly whispered.

There was no way to form an answer, let alone voice it. Her sorrow caught in her throat, Deedo reached for the door she needed to get away from him, to think, clear her head or her heart. Thunder rolled as Levin struck loudly outside the window, filled the room with its blue-white light, scented the room of electricity.

Loghain caught her before she ran, slammed shut the door. Turning, the elf had her pinned against the wall: "Do you not love him!" He screamed over the echo of thunder.

As she raised her once warm aqua eyes to him, he could see love drained from them. Fountained pools of tears filled threatened to spill, as if so much as another baleful thought formed in her mind.

The emotion replaced in her eyes chipped heavily, even through his half hardened heart. Now burst by a heated wave. The dam in her eyes gave way, tears trickling one after the other, resembling a waterfall. Deedolit cried without a knell. The silent sobs vibrated her body, her face cerise, scrunched in vexation.

Burbled from the shallow point, frustrated with the query of her fondness of Maric, exploded in defeated rage. "Yes, I love him! Gods, I love him so. Do you not love your Rowan?" Helpless, she stood under the stony gaze of Loghain. Giving her equally accusing glare.

Wretched, she felt thoughts of continued fancies of Maric and herself together. "I am an elf not fit to be Queen. That is what you implied to Maric?"

"I am an elf, lest we not forget. For what Rowan pleaded for me to do, I cannot. I could not be human permanently if I desired for it!" She tried to jerk away from Loghain, but his grip held her tight.

Deedo's fire extinguished. She gripped his shoulders, tried to get him to release. Her nails scraped the leather of his armor. He studied her, this creature before him. With certainty he was unsure of this new woman before him, he could sense her pain, he held her tighter, closer doing his best to comfort her. "Loghain, please leave me... I cannot… Erollisi Marr please make the pain stop..."

She hiccuped her cries, heart-wrenched, her platinum hair soft against his rough hands. Her head hung, tears pooled faster, trickled down her chin, her breath short where she tried to reason: "I want to tell him, I cannot- I..."

Deedo sank to the floor, sobbed violently, crumbled in his hands. "I gave him up twice, once for his lover and now for his Queen, like you, I have given for the sake of what's right!" Deedo choked out. She seemed to have a hold of her emotions, as Loghain tentatively slackens his grip to keep her from the coldness of the stone floor. Deedolit whispered, "I should have gone home ages ago, I could have any time..."

The elf slipped her hand quickly from Loghain; she wove a spell. Suddenly, a portal appeared, "See my home, my forest, my countrymen and family lay on the other side!" She seethed, furious with herself, livid for finding love beyond her home.

The view Loghain saw was a dense, lush forest. Stone spires, large, imposing, peer over the boughs of the trees, with Elven guards standing proudly at the entrance gate. That was her Felwithe home. She waved her hand, and as he saw the home she shared with her family, he remembered their faces from her dance.

"I chose not to leave because of my love for him. Erollisi Marr must have cursed me, for I love him too much. I cannot bear the thought of not being by his side." The thought struck her like the thunder that clapped around them. "I must go home..." She scrambled from his grip. The sudden movement nearly missed by the rogue she was near escape, to leave without a word of goodbye to anyone.

And the portal was dissolving before her eyes. She thrashed about, tried to get away. Her heart was wounded, crushed. Loghain's arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her securely.

Her heartbreak the drive she needed to push back her damnable attachment, "Let me go, I need to leave, I cannot stay!" She grunted, pulled away, pushed against him, struggled, went limp in his arms when the surrounding light dimmed.

Loghain hugged her to him. "I couldn't let you leave, not like this..." He would let her cry as much as she needed. Loghain held her close, silently permitted his own tears to fall as well in understanding.

"The Chantry would never have accepted Katriel or…" He lifted her chin. Her jewel eyes reflected his mirrored emotion. The ache he felt for the woman he loved allows her to slip from his grasp to the King of Ferelden, the man he calls a friend. Loghain thumbed her cheek. Tenderly rubbed away wet tear trails with his calloused thumbs. Deedo shivered, turned away from his icy gaze. A slight jerk of her chin forced her eyes back to his.

He studied her face. "Who would be my comfort if you left?" He didn't know why he kissed her, but he had—it was the only action he could think of to manage her tears. The kiss was not light, it was urgent, needed, it caused the troubled heart to take a slight comfort into another.

Deedo heard his words. He was right—there would be no one for him to lean on, no comfort. He was alone. If she had been stronger, she could have saved his father. Certainly, if she had been selfish, he would have still had Rowan. This was a comfort to him, to them both. Then so be it. Their kiss would go no further than this night.

'If'… such a small word held the mightiest power.

Highever, Month 12 - Haring, 8:99 of the Blessed Age.

Rowan and Loghain objected to Maric journeying off alone. His Majesty had none of it. They looked to the high elf, who nodded, knew what neither could ask her aloud, her face unreadable, where you could once see her emotion, playful amusement in her eyes, there was a darkness, a void she had withdrawn into herself, choosing to spend less time around any of them, choose to be on the wing.

Deedo smiled kindly but wore a mask she wore to hide the pain she buried deep into herself.

That afternoon, Maric set out. She watches his retreat. Deedo follows silently behind. She will protect him, love him less and soon, from afar.

When Meghren's Mage Severan lay dead at Maric's feet, she entered under the cover of invisibility, the tent and Maric partly frozen with the blizzard the man summoned to kill Maric, Deedo heard it all from the outside she would let Maric fight his own but make sure he did not die on her watch, her word to the others.

He wept openly, Deedo came to stand beside him, allowing him a moment before she spoke, "Your Majesty, we should not tarry."

He sniffed. "They sent you after me?"

Deedo made a sound, then heard the flap to the front of the tent open. She saw two soldiers, rooted in place, gape at their dead leader as Maric crouched over him, Maric raised his head as one shook from his stupor to charge at him. The Rebel King slew the man and turned to her again; she did not flinch as she flicked her eyes to meet Maric's; the second came around from his shock to turn as he almost finished his scream for help.

Maric released his sword from the one body, going to thrust it into the other. The Enchantress showed the cold side to her gift, her hand, like wind, whipped out, spell-wrapping coiled around the second man's throat.

She and Maric never turned their gazes from each other, her hand balled into a fist, the spell twisted tightly. Heard the man gasp for his last breath, when it was quiet, she released him.

As the man fell through the flap of the tent he almost escaped, Maric eyed her warily, Deedo continued before they could be interrupted places her hand back in the warmth of her cloak, "No, I am here to keep my word as I had years prior, I will aid you to your throne. You fought this battle of your own might, but we should no longer tarry." She turned to exit the back of the tent they came in from.

Once a good distance away, and almost back to their camp, "Deedo, you have nothing to say to me?"

"I do not understand." She stopped, tilted her head to the King.

"After what I did with… Katriel."

"She was what you needed."

"No, you tried to warn me before."

Deedo refused to break down before him. She shifted her cloak closer to her body, said no more, examined as Maric fumble a bit in the dark.

"Help me see you, I know you can see me clearly."

Deedo granted him a spell, not one for his personal vision, she moved from her spot before the spell set in, Maric went to step to her, then turned to see she was behind him, "Your Majesty, you no longer have need of me. Find your way in the dark on your own. You have people here who will be with you for all your life."

He realized she lit a small light and dimmed it; he was in the dark, but not alone.

"I apologize for my impartial behavior, Lady Deedolit of Felwithe."

Deedo retorted as evenly as possible, her not wanting to give way to the emotion still despised herself concealing. "Your apology is in vain. If it will put his Majesty at ease, I will accept your apology. Your Majesty, Maric of Ferelden."