Ashuri: your still my disclaimer Hao.

Hao: I don't wanna!

Bishies: do it!

Hao: fine. Ashuri does not own shaman king. However she clearly states that she will buy all the manga.

Ashuri: exactly. Thank you to all who read and reviewed-

Ren: and are clearly flipping out over the entire thing!

Ashuri: that's cause they all love horoxren pairings. And now they've got me hooked on them. Especially KimBob's HoroRen! I love it. Read it if you haven't. And regarding her comment on saying 'fuck' to many times and that it should be varied, it shall, but me and my friends repeatedly say fuck all the time so that's why I did that. Anyway here is chapter three. Rated for language and attempted sex.

Chapter three: basics of affection winning.

So how does one go about winning someone's affections? By giving them gifts? By doing simple chores or requests? Well whatever it is you do, Horo was really going out of the way to win Ren's.

Horo had bought him gifts, which he dubbed utterly useless, but kept anyway, hiding them away in boxes in his closest so he wouldn't have to look at them and become incredibly guilty. Maybe that was Horo's plan? If he became guilty over Horo buying him things he would no doubt go out and start buying him gifts, which meant Ren would clearly have to think of him more, and thinking of him more, meant rising emotions, and rising emotions meant falling in love. The thought of it made Ren almost throw up in disgust.

Anyway when Horo released that the gifts weren't wooing Ren, he became the cleaning maid. Because Ren, was a perfectionist and a neat freak, he was always getting after Horo's lack of tidiness. Therefor Horo concluded that if he cleaned and did everything Ren asked, he would eventually win Ren's heart. It didn't go quite the way he planned.

Ren used Horo's new found attempt at wooing him to his advantage, making him clean the house from top to bottom, go shopping, cook dinner, do laundry, etc. etc. etc. This made Ren very happy because it meant he could lounge around and read or train all day, for once. Horo noticed it made him happy and even though he was really annoyed, he kept at it, hopes still held very high.

Even though he was Ren's, now personal maid, that didn't stop him from trying other ways of affection winning. He clearly enjoyed the 'kissing games', as Ren now called them, because Horo would and did, chase him around the house in order to corner him and kiss him, even though Ren never kissed him back and stood glaring and waiting for a chance to strike when Horo's defense fell. Which normally included a sharp slap to the head or being chased around the house just inches from getting speared on his kawn do.

Other attempts included hugging him and touching him in ways Ren believed to be wrong and made sure Horo payed dearly for it. However it never dampened Horo's persistence.

One day, near the end of November, Ren had returned from shopping, because he had decided to give Horo the day off, and was about to curl up in his bed and take a nap, when Horo walked into his room, quietly, and wrapped his arms around Ren's waist. Ren was far to used to it by now to care, the first impulse was still to murder him on the spot, but he just frowned and dangerously told Horo to get lost. And of course Horo wouldn't.

Fighting to keep his anger that always appeared when Horo did this under control, Ren had been about to say something else when Horo whispered in his ear, "Do you know how much I love you?"

Ren shuddered. That was wrong on all levels, just like everything else Horo tired to pull. "Do you know how much I despise you?' Ren muttered and pulled away to hang his coat up in the closest.

"Oh come on Ren!" Horo groaned. "When are you ever going to except my love for you?"

"Hm let me think...never!"

Horo groaned again and started to fiddle with the feather duster Ren had left on the bedside table. "Are you ever going to fall in love? With anyone?"

"A Tao can not love," Ren reminded him.

"When are you gonna stop believing in that crap and open your eyes!" said Horo, anger rising.

"When I've rid the world of people like you!"

Horo snapped and chucked the feather duster at Ren's head.

"Ni shi hwin dan!" Ren shouted and rubbed his head, cursing in Chinese. But he stopped when he heard Horo laughing at him. So the little bastard thinks its funny does he well I can think of something more so. Ren thought his eye twitching. Picking up the feather duster he chucked it at Horo's head and when he turned to retaliate he was face to face with Ren's kawn do.

"Oh Shit!" Horo said.

"Precisely," Ren answered his eyes glistening maliciously as emotions flickered in Horo's eyes. "What's that is spy flickering in your eyes?"

Horo appeared to ponder the question but said "Fear," after a minute.

He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Ren thought. Then again, he doesn't know the meaning to most words.

"Your not going to kill me are you Ren?" Horo asked.

"Now why would I do that? I need you around to clean my house."

Horo sighed and tired to pull the kawn do away from Ren. "Your such a weakling." Ren said at Horo's pitiful attempt to disarm him. "If muscles were brains, you would still be stupid."

"Are you through finished insulting me?" asked Horo calmly.

Ren stared at him. Why not defend himself against Ren's insults? Why stand there and take them? "We'll see."

"You know Ren, if you would just understand and listen to me, you'd find, I'm a really caring, generous person. People like that don't grow on trees you know."

"How true," said Ren. "They normally swing under them."

Horo sighed again and yanked the kawn do away from Ren and tripped him with it. "Due kauheh! Hum kah chan!" Ren yelled in Chinese when he hit the floor.

"I was hoping not to resort to violence," said Horo's voice from above him. Ren didn't like the tone. Struggling to sit up he found that Horo had leaned down on top of him, preventing him.

"Get off me!" he said loudly. Horo didn't answer and produced some rope from somewhere and tied his hands to the bed post. "Liumang!" was all Ren could say.

"Why don't you speak in Japanese or English?"

"Fine! Bastard!"

Sighing Horo laid down on top of him, his dark eyes boring into Ren's amber ones. "Why don't you whisper those three little words that would make my day?" he said quietly.

"Go to hell!" Ren thundered.

Ignoring Ren's outburst Horo asked, "Are you going to revise your answer to my early question?"

"What question was that?"

"Are you ever going to fall in love? With anyone?"

Ren growled in anger. So he had to revise his answer eh? "I've had many case's of love that were just infatuation, but the hate I feel for you is the real thing!" Horo gazed at him sadly. "Now release me!"

Horo didn't answer and made no move to untie him, however his lips did make their way on to Ren's.

You lame Hillary lovin brain dead ugolicious rectum sniffing dick head!

Ren was not happy. Not only was he pinned down and tied down, with no means of escape, Horo was taking advantage of him. The jerk! While thinking of new insults that he would say the second he got out of this mess, he failed to notice that Horo's lips had left his, only to kiss his way down his chest. How the hell did he get my shirt off? Ren questioned noticing his shirt was no where to be found and slapping himself mentally for not paying attention.

"Horo! I command you to let go of me right now!"

Horo shook his head and continued to kiss him. So Ren continued to insult him. Not just him but his family and people as well. Even though it had a visible effect on him, he increased the pressure of his hand on Ren's chest and digging the short stubs of nails into the sink, he didn't retort. Ren was losing his only weapon. After running out of things to say, he laid there unable to do anything.

Another thing was going on in Ren's brain. A part of him was enjoying Horo's touch, where as ninety percent of him wanted to kill him, and he mentally fought himself for a good five minutes before realizing that Horo's mouth was very close to the rim of his pants. Oh Shit! Horo had obviously realized that Ren wasn't going to fight anymore and was going to take it further.

"Horo! Horo! You stop that right now!" yelled Ren, finding his voice.

However any new insults at had appeared at that moment were silence by Horo pressing his lips against his. His hand moved down Ren chest and underneath the rim of his belt and pants. Ren was panicking! Rape! Rape! Rape! He repeated to himself over and over and over again, the ninety percent of him wishing the he had his kawn do his hands and the ten percent enjoying it.

When the time comes, I will truly enjoy killing you!

Horo had been about to unzip Ren's pants when the phone and the doorbell rang.

Ha ha! Saved by the bell literally! Ren thought happily.

Reluctantly Horo got over him and untied him, and met Ren's fist right in the nose. Ren glared furiously at him. "That Ainu-baka, was uncalled for!"

"S-sorry," Horo muttered.

Ren smiled evilly. "Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. Now go answer the door.

Clutching his bleeding nose, Horo nodded and went down stairs. Ren went over to his bedside table and answered the phone. It was Jun. Not feeling in the mood to talk to anyone Ren yelled at Jun to shut up and go away before slamming the phone back on its hook. When all was silent in his room, he could hear Horo's and Yoh's voices from down stairs. Still not caring about Horo, or anything else at that moment he crawled into bed and went to sleep, feeling that he was indeed deserving of a good nap. After all one of the worst possible things that he could think of, had happened to him.

For one spilt moment, he had wanted what Horo was doing to him.

Ashuri: dun dun dunnnn!

Ren: no! How could you do this too me!?

Ashuri: cause its funny!

Ren: you cold cruel heartless woman!

Ashuri: please? And your not? Anyway hopefully you enjoyed this chapter, and I bet some of you are going to be mad because interrupted them. Heh heh. Ren loves to insult people. Lots of those in here. And Chinese as well.

Ni shi hwin dan: you're an asshole.

Due kauheh! Hum kah chan: fuck you. Death to your family.

Liumang: bastard.

Ashuri: anyway, tell me what you think. Please read and review again. If you have questions and what not feel free to ask.