Nny or Nii-san?

Chapter 05

Johnny was walking down a farmiliar street. Mainstreet in Hell. He was still not all that happy about dying, but Squee was safe and there was nothing more that he could do right now. So he decided to get a begal.

"DAAAAAAAAADDY!" An aggry voice shouted somewhere in a suburban home, home to a rather spoiled child, a child with alot of unearthly powers...

Johnny munched his begal as he window shopped down the street. Everyone was too bussy with their own problems to notice or care about him, so he really didn't have any urges to kill anyone, yet... but it's not really like killing them would change anything, so why bother anyway? As he walked he thought about how he could get another coat, like the one he had last time he was here... He decided that stealing would be the best tactic... once again...

As he entered the store, Johnny noticed that there was a new clerk, all the better, a surprize attack! He walked up to the rack and took forever to find his size. Eventually he did and saw that the price wasn't all that much, seems the coat was out of style and realizing that he still had some money on him (how he brought it from Earth, he never knew, but oh well) so he took pity on the clerk and just bought it.

He left and it was rather peaceful not being chaced by police sirens like last time. "I should look into getting a job..." He thoght out loud. "I'll run out of money eventually... DAMN!"

He continued to walk when he heard a siren he had never heard before, it was increadibly annoying, but all the people around him were kneeling as they heard it approach. Johnny didn't realize what was going on so he continued to stand where he was. The sirens suddenly grew louder as a carrion red open-roofed car turned the corner. It was driven by what looked to be the cross between a goblin and something that crawled out of a sewer somewhere and it was clear that whatever it was, it just didn't take any driver's-ed classes. In the back, looking quite sick, was Satan himself.

Satan shouted something to the driver and it parked the car on a street lamp. Satan got out and walked toward Johnny. "Johnny C., right?"

"...um... YES! We've met before, remember?" It seemed that Satan was quite stupid...

"... Now that you mention it, I do! YOU'RE the troublemaker!" The crowd gasped inhorror.

"...eh...? sure..."

"Come with me please." Satan said like they were in a buissness meeting.

Johnny folowed him into the car and sat behind the smirking driver. "What do you want with me?"

"Wait until we get to my office..."

The drive itself was a short distance, made long by the infernal city. At one point Johnny got sick of the cackling of the driver at every near-accident, so he stuck a knife into its skull and took the wheel, with Satan giving directions. They came up to a dark looking castle, like something from a nightmare. "Well we're here..." Satan got out. Johnny wasn't impressed.

"Right, so what do you want?" Johnny asked as he stepped into Satan's office.

"Well, my son, Pepito, happens to be friends with a Mr. Todd Casil. You know him correct?"

"You mean Squee?"

"Correct. And you, prior to your death, were his legal guardian, right?"

"...yes..." Johnny was starting to wonder if Satan was on crack or something.

"Well, my son informed me of your death and of your guardianship over Todd. Because of your death, Todd is now alone. My son told me that if he comes to harm, that he will throw a temper tantrum so horrible that it will shatter the Earth. Now if the Earth is destroyed, then all human's will die and we will have a very difficult time trying to record all of them. And we pride ourselves on our records here in hell."

"So what's your point?" He said and thought, 'And why should I care'

"...I heard that..." Satan glaired. "You should care because I am sending you back to Earth to take care of Todd."

Johnny was quite shocked. He wanted to go back, but he had thought it was impossible... He'd love to see Squee again. And there was still too high a population of idiots out there... "But can I keep the coat?"

"Haven't we been through this?"

"Yes... but this time I actually paid for it, and this time I actually died!"

"No."

"Well... ok... I just hope that Squee dosn't get into an accident..." Johnny smiled his trademark smile.

"Y-You wouldn't! ... FINE KEEP THE BLOODY COAT!" Johnny's smile grew and became less of a smirk.

"It was a pleasure doing buisness with you Mr. Satan." Before there was a chance to shake hands, there was a puff of smoke and Satan was alone in the room.

"Bastard..." He muttered to himself.