4

Two weeks had passed since Martin had sent Samantha that text and typically neither had spoke about it. It lay between them and weighed heavily on both their minds. Martin wanted Samantha but was scared of getting hurt again. Samantha wanted Martin but was scared of relationships in general. Scared off getting hurt, scared of hurting other people, scared of what people would say about her.

Insecurities on both sides holding them back.

Danny and Viv had given up on them. They waltzed to their own tune, flirting like usual and avoiding the actual real issue.

Now it was Jack's turn to take up the gauntlet and he did so late one night at work.

Samantha sat at her desk, finishing up her report when Jack came and perched on the end of desk. She looked at him briefly with an inquisitive look in her eye.

"How you doing Samantha?" he asked.

"I'm fine, don't worry I'll have this ready for you soon enough" she assured and resumed typing.

"Good" he said smiling at her but making no move to get up. When she became aware that he hadn't moved she looked at him again.

"Did you want something Jack?"

"Nope, I'm, good"

"Ok then…Jack, you're um, you're kinda creeping me out" she said with an uncomfortable little laugh and Jack smiled at her.

"Sorry Samantha, you looked like you could use a friend" he said apologetically and Samantha looked back at her work.

"Well that seems to be a popular opinion at the moment" she said pointedly not looking at him, eyes fixed on the computer screen.

"We can't all be wrong can we?" he pressed kindly.

"Look Jack, I appreciate the offer but I'm fine honestly, no worries." She said with false brightness as she turned the computer off "I'll give you the report tomorrow morning" and she stood up and grabbed her jacket.

"Funny what with you and Martin both in Gloomsville and Danny and Viv trying like hell to play cupid between you both, the office is getting kinda tense lately"

"Jack don't pull that card on me, I've told you before it is not affecting my work!" she protested sharply, turning around.

"Ha-Ha. Got you talking about it though?" Jack laughed pointing a finger at her. She opened her mouth to say something then caught herself and shook her head.

"I'm sorry Jack but you're really the last person I want to be discussing my love life, or lack of, with"

"I can understand that" Jack conceded.

"Besides we have been doing better now, getting along better. I'll be fine and your team will be back to normal before you know it."

"Believe it or not Samantha that's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried about you. What is it about him that's gotten to you so bad? And don't lie to me, because anyone can see that he has." Jack said. He remained sitting on her desk so as not to intimidate her or make her defensive. Samantha sighed and looked at Jack, and then her eyes involuntarily flickered over to Martin's desk.

"Honestly…I don't know. I think that's part of the problem." She admitted softly then looked down "But we all have the one that got away. He can be mine."

With one more, sad sigh she was gone.

Jack watched her retreating back. As much as he still cared about her he had to admit she hadn't even been this broken up about it when he ended things with her. Martin had gotten under her skin more than anybody had before.

On the ride home Samantha thought about what Jack had said. She didn't want Martin to be "the one that got away" she just wanted him to be The One but she was terrified of what tying herself to one person would mean. She knew she had to let go of the fears and that she was being irrational but she couldn't help it, that was who she was and who she would always be.

Her home no longer held any physical memories of him, they had all been gotten rid of in the weeks after the break-up but the presence of him was still tangible in the atmosphere of the place and the smell that lingered on his sheets. She knew one day that too would fade and she would be left with nothing but the memories of a great relationship tainted by arguments. What worried her most was that as time passed she wouldn't remember the good thing, she would remember the arguments and the cruel break-up. Then all of the good things about their relationship would be lost and forgotten in time.

Her resolve hardened. She didn't want that to be the case, and she would forever regret it if she didn't at least try for a second go. She picked up her phone and dialled Martin's number, one she still knew by heart and anxiously bit her lip waiting for him to pick up. After nine rings his machine got it.

"Hey Martin it's me…Samantha. Erm, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out sometime, I totally under- "

"Sam! Hi!" Martin's out of breath voice answered and Samantha nearly hung up there and then it would have been so much easier to do this to his machine "Sorry, I just got in, I had to get some groceries, what's up?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering…if you wanted to go out with me at some time, you know…on a date"

Martin paused a moment to think on this novel concept. In their whole time together they had never been on a date together, the possibilities thrilled him and terrified him at the same time.

"I don't know if that is such a good thing Samantha." He found himself saying and his heart clenched in his chest. Stupid head making him say the clever thing.

"Oh! Well, you know that's ok, you know I wasn't really expecting you to say yes, I just thought that I would give you a try you know, can't blame a gal for trying!" She aimed for light hearted but knew that she had failed miserably.

"Samantha I'm sorry, I'm just not ready yet" Martin apologised and Samantha took a deep breath.

"No, hey martin I totally understand, you have no need to apologise, I totally understand…erm when you are ready, do you think maybe you could give me a call?" she asked in a small voice and Martin couldn't help but smile at it.

"I don't know when that will be" he admitted softly.

"That's ok. I'll wait" she answered before hanging up the phone and staring at the object in her hand.

She felt defeated but oddly proud of herself. At least now he knew she was serious. She couldn't help but wonder how long he would make he wait. Would he ever be ready to forgive her?