Chapter 2: Chili Dog Hangover
"Ohhhhh, chaos, my head…"
Sonic the Hedgehog slowly opened his eyes, the sunlight streaming through the living room window. His head was pounding in pain, his vision was blurry…and he felt miserable.
"What…h-happened last night?" Gently shaking his head, the blue hedgehog found one of his legs dangling off the side of the sofa, his sneaker nowhere to be found and his sock half-removed. His other foot did contain a shoe, but it appeared to have…burn marks?
Peering down at his hands, he found holes in his gloves, his fingers partially exposed. Rubbing his burnt fingers across his forehead, he found something squishy resting between his quills. Tilting his head, the remnants of a half-eaten chili dog came pouring down, cold sauce running across his face as the oily hotdog added yet another stain to the aging couch.
Groaning, Sonic attempted to force himself up, but his body gave way, rolling to the floor instead. With a squish, the old chili dog exploded on his belly, making an even bigger mess for the ill hedgehog.
"T-Tails?" Sonic called, but his younger brother didn't answer. Scanning the room as he pulled himself up, the orange kitsune was nowhere to be found. "Tails?" he called again, but no luck. He decided to expand his search to the kitchen.
"Ahhhhhh!" Sonic gasped as he took in the sight of sauce covering the entire stovetop, the countertops, and three of the five ceiling fan blades, which were still spinning and actively spewing even more sauce around the room.
"Ah geez!" Flicking off the fan, Sonic was now able to hear snoring from the corner of the kitchen. Adjusting his blurred vision, he made out a pair of twin tails sticking out of the tall garbage can. The white tips of his namesakes were hardly white at all, covered in the same sauce as the blue hedgehog's fur.
Grimacing, Sonic gently pulled his younger brother out of the trashcan by a single tail. The fox still slept, however, his arms dangling to the floor below.
"Tails?" Sonic waved his younger brother around a little, his fingers still gripping the tip of his namesake.
"Wh-huuuh?" He replied as he slowly regained consciousness.
"Hey ya buddy."
"Ooohhh, my head's…spiiining…" Tails gently clasped his palm on his forehead, inadvertently wiping a banana peel across his face. "What's going on, Sonic?"
"Thought maybe I could ask you the same." The blue hedgehog twisted Tails around and set him down on his feet. The fox's legs were like gelatin, however, and Sonic had to help him stand upright.
"Wh-what happened here?" Tails peered around the kitchen in dismay. "This is going to take forever to clean! How did we let this happen?"
"It'll be alright, Tails," Sonic reassured. "To be honest, I'm not sure what happened, but now that we're better, we can focus on cleaning up thi—" A sharp pain in his stomach cut him off. The blue hedgehog clasped his belly. "Oh man, hold that thought. I think I'm gonna be sick!"
Running to the restroom, Sonic returned several minutes later, still clutching his abdomen. He observed the orange kitsune, who was lying on the kitchen floor, his gloved hands clasping his belly as well.
"Aniki…help me up…" Tails lethargically raised his arm. Using what little strength he could muster, Sonic pulled him up, giving the young fox the opportunity to sit down at the kitchen table. The blue hedgehog did the same.
"What even happened last night anyway?" Sonic asked as he kept his head upright with his arms.
"I dunno, it's pretty foggy if I'm telling the truth. This is just…too weird. I vaguely recall us making chili dogs, though."
"If that weren't already obvious," Sonic replied as he gestured around the room, sauce still dripping from the walls and the ceiling fan. "Was it food poisoning?"
"Possibly," Tails raised a gloved finger to his chin in thought, "although this doesn't seem very likely. We only purchase the finest hotdogs and ingredients."
"No offense," Sonic clasped his belly once more, "but chili dogs are the last thing I want to think about right now."
"Oop, sorry, Sonic," Tails replied, "it just doesn't make any sense, though. Even if it was food poisoning, how'd the house get totally trashed, and how did we find ourselves unconscious?"
"Beats me," Sonic stumbled out of his chair and left the kitchen, barely making it back to the chili-covered sofa. "I'm too sick to worry about it, though." Just as the blue hedgehog covered his face with a pillow, however, the doorbell rang, signaling an unexpected guest. With a groan, Sonic rolled off the couch and made his way to the front door.
"Hi Sonic!" Amy waved. "I was just stopping by to see if you wanted to go for a stro—" The pink hedgehog froze as the sight of her ill, chili-covered boyfriend sunk in. "Oh chaos, what the heck happened?" Sonic stared back at her, his eyes baggy and his head pounding with pain.
"I…dunno…" The blue hedgehog stumbled forward, but Amy swiftly caught him, Sonic's chin resting on her shoulder.
"I know one thing's for sure: you reek. Where's Tails?"
"Over…here…" Amy peered at the weak fox waving at her from the edge of the kitchen. He proceeded to slide against the wall as he clutched his belly once more.
"You too?" Amy asked in disbelief. "I need to get you boys cleaned up."
"Cleaned…up?" Sonic asked. "What do ya…woooah!" The blue hedgehog was lifted over Amy's right shoulder, the pink hedgehog keeping him supported with her right arm. "And now you, little guy…" She pulled Tails up as well and lifted him over his left shoulder. "You guys owe me a new outfit when you're better…I don't know if I'll be able to get this stuff off!"
"Woah, she's strong, huh?" Tails asked as he turned his head in Sonic's direction.
"I'm more…worried 'bout where she's takin' us…"
"Since when do you need to be scared of where I take you?" Amy asked.
"You mean every date you've dragged me o—oooof…" Amy jabbed her knee into Sonic's gut. "H-hey, Ames, uncalled for."
"I'm trying to help you, Sonic," she huffed, "at least be a little polite."
Amy stepped into the restroom and deposited the brothers in the bathtub before searching under their sink for bathing supplies. "A little bath should make you feel better…and smell better, too!" The pink hedgehog waved her hand over her nose. "Seriously, I'm not sure if that stench will ever come out of your fur."
"Alright, we get it," Sonic replied as he attempted to escape the tub, but he slipped, hitting his head on the bath wall behind him and kicking Tails in the face.
"Owww, what was that for, Sonic?!" Tails exclaimed as he rubbed his muzzle.
"Sorry, buddy," Sonic rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.
"See, Sonic?" Amy declared from above as she placed her hands on her hips. "This is what happens when you don't listen to me. Now, will you please sit back and relax while I prepare your bath?"
"Fiiiiine," Sonic groaned as he leaned back. Tails rested his head against the opposite side of the bath, the two short enough to where they were both able to sit relatively comfortably in their tub.
"Now, then…" Amy started filling the tub, the spout and drain conveniently in the center. Removing a glove, she felt the water and adjusted the temperature until it was warm. "How does it feel, boys?" The two merely sighed in response, their eyes closed as steam filled the bathroom. With a giggle, Amy squirted a liberal amount of soap into the water, the bathtub quickly filling with suds. Finally, when the tub was nearly reaching its peak capacity, the pink hedgehog turned off the water.
"I'll let you two soak for a bit," Amy indicated as she pulled herself up and stretched her arms. Sonic and Tails didn't reply, however; the two were seemingly asleep, bubbles covering everything under their muzzles. The pink hedgehog giggled at the sight, but she yelped at the unsuspecting sound of loud knocking at the front door. "Were you guys expecting visitors?" she asked, but the pink hedgehog received no reply from the relaxed brothers.
With a sigh, Amy dried her hands and approached the entryway to find someone completely unexpected.
"Eggman!" Amy exclaimed as she peered up at the large human in his floating Egg Mobile. "What do you want?"
"Oh, nothing at all!" The evil doctor replied as he stroked his moustache. "Why, I was just in the neighborhood and thought you pests could use some company. In speaking of which…" Eggman jumped out of his levitating vehicle and shoved himself past the pink hedgehog. "Good lord, what happened here?"
"If you must know," Amy replied before itching her chin, "…well, actually, I don't really know myself. All I know is Sonic and Tails are recovering from…food poisoning, maybe?"
"Brilliant!" Eggman cheered as he performed a happy dance in the center of Sonic and Tails' living room. "My plan went off without a hitch!"
"What do you mean?" Amy asked as she tilted her head in confusion.
"Well, not to gloat," Robotnik replied as he concluded his dance, slightly winded from the light exercise, "but after studying Sonic and Tails' grocery store shopping habits for the past several months, I was able to deduce approximately when the two bozos would shop for chili dog ingredients next and which brands they'd purchase." The evil doctor rubbed his thumb and index fingers, as if sprinkling a seasoning over a pot. "All it took was breaking into the canning facility and adding a little bit of my signature, odorless, tasteless food poisoning to really pack a deadly punch!" He gestured around the living room. "And judging from the mess, it looks like they fell for it! Wooahhooohoohooo!"
"Okay, I get the food poisoning part," Amy rubbed her temple, "but what about the big mess?"
"Oh, that's an easy one," Eggman gloated, "for not only did my patent pending powder make them ill, but it also had other side effects, such as hysteria, temporary memory loss, vision impairment…why, it's like getting drunk!"
"Why you!" Amy growled as she pulled her Piko Piko Hammer from her hammerspace.
"And just what are you planning on doing with that, Amy?" Eggman replied as he pulled a remote from his red jacket.
"I'm going to stop you, like we always do!" she defiantly replied, snarling as she slowly made her way to the evil doctor.
"Oh, but you see," Eggman raised his remote, "if I push this button, an army of Badniks will descend upon this location. I'm sure you could take down several dozen, but how about several hundred?"
"Just try me…" Amy tightened her grip on her hammer as she got even closer.
"W-wait!" Eggman stepped back as he raised a palm toward the angry hedgehog. "You know I'm not bluffing, right? One push of this button, and my robotic minions will have you for lunch!"
"Hey, what's that!?" Amy exclaimed as she pointed to the stairs.
"What's what now?" Before Eggman could turn back to face the pink hedgehog, her hammer was already imprinted into his gut, sending the evil doctor careening through the wall. His remote flung in the air, allowing Amy to catch it with ease. Throwing it to the floor, she crushed it with the might of her red boots.
"What was that about your robots having me for lunch?" Amy smirked as she slowly approached the downed human, who was powerless to stop the Mobian on a mission.
"Okay, okay, I yield!" Eggman quickly got on his knees and bowed, begging the pink hedgehog for forgiveness. "Please, Amy! I'll do whatever you ask if you can spare me the wrath of your hammer!"
"Anything?" Amy peered upstairs, steam flowing out of the bathroom where Sonic and Tails were still soaking. "You happen to have a serum for this food poisoning?"
"Why, but of course!" Eggman pulled two small bottles from his other jacket pocket and tossed them to the pink hedgehog. "They just need to drink the contents of these bottles, and they'll be good as new before you know it!"
"No funny business?" Amy asked as she investigated the purple fluids.
"Absolutely none, I swear on my life!" Robotnik replied as he placed a palm on his chest.
"Alright then," Amy deposited her weapon back into her hammerspace and pointed to the door. "Now scram, or you'll get another dose of my medicine!"
"Loud and clear, loud and clear!" With that, Eggman ran past the pink hedgehog, climbed up into his Egg Mobile, and flew off.
With a satisfied sigh, Amy climbed the stairs and returned to the bathroom.
"Good news, everyone!" she proclaimed as the two brothers slowly opened their eyes and turned their heads to face the pink hedgehog. "Eggman provided a cure. Drink up!" She handed the two bottles to Sonic and Tails.
"Wait, Eggman?" Tails asked as he studied his bottle.
"Oh yeah," Amy placed her hands behind her back, "apparently he poisoned your food and was going to use this to his advantage. Thankfully I was able to…convince him to turn over the cure."
Sonic chuckled. "Nothin' like a good ol' threat of violence to get what we want!"
"Right!" Amy replied with a beaming smile before realizing the implications of his words. "Well…maybe it was okay in this case, but we should really resolve our differences with words and our feeli—" The pink hedgehog was cut off as Sonic gasped at the smell of the beverage. "What's wrong, Sonic?"
"It's…it's…"
"It's what?"
"It's…grape flavored!" The blue hedgehog handed the bottle back to Amy. "Thanks, but no thanks."
"Oh no, Sonic! You will take that medicine if it's the last thing I do!" Restraining the weakened blue hedgehog with one hand, Amy poured the beverage down Sonic's throat with the other until the medicine was fully administered. Finally, as the pink hedgehog loosened her grip on her boyfriend, he coughed profusely.
"The worst, most vile, disgusting drink I've ever had!" Sonic complained.
"But it will make you feel better!" Amy replied as she dusted off her red dress. "You'll thank me later."
"Yeah, I'll bet…" Sonic retorted sarcastically.
"Now let's get scrubbing!"
"Nani?" Sonic peered up at the pink hedgehog in confusion as she approached the side of the tub once more, this time wielding a sponge. The blue hedgehog was still too weak to escape Amy's impossibly strong grip as she meticulously massaged the chili stains from his left arm. "Tails, a little help?" The plea was not answered, however, as the young kitsune was asleep once more, his empty bottle floating in the tub.
With a groan, Sonic gave in, allowing his girlfriend to make him squeaky clean, a process which, to his dismay, took several grueling hours.
"Aaaaand, done!" Amy proclaimed as she loosened her grip on Sonic's arms.
"Finally!" The blue hedgehog jumped out of the tub and charged a spindash, spewing water everywhere. "I'd like to hang, but I've gotta juice!" Sonic sped away, escaping his own house as Amy and Tails watched in bewilderment.
"Well," Amy sighed, "at least we know the medicine worked."
"I'll say," Tails replied.
"Now, it's your turn…" Amy found a fresh sponge and approached the orange kitsune. "You'll be squeaky clean, too, just like your big brother!"
"Yeah, I suppose…" Tails groaned as he, just like Sonic before, allowed Amy to fully clean his coat of orange fur, knowing it was futile to resist.