Chapter 7: Duluth

Her missing father. Christian winces, there were no survivors. He killed the teenager, but his squadron finished off the rest. There is the gnawing feeling of despair in the pit of his stomach now. He felt her slipping away because she was slipping away all along. Their separation is unavoidable. How could he possibly ask her to stay after what he's done?

He was foolish to think that a woman like her could ever lower herself to his depravity.

"Did you ever really want me?" Christian wonders out loud. He doesn't want the answer, but Ana's silence brings on a sharp pain in his chest. After all that he has done, he knows he is beyond forgiveness. In the grand scheme of things, he deserves a lot worse than this, but the eviscerating pain is the height of his punishment. No physical pain he has felt quite reaches this level of despair.

Ana doesn't even look at him during their entire hike up to Duluth. As the town comes into view, Ana still can't answer Christian's question. She cannot admit to herself that she has fallen for one of the men responsible for her father's death.

The walls around Duluth are a formidable concrete with guard towers lining the main entrance.

When they make it to the steel gate, they are forced to surrender their guns until they exit again. Once inside of the main hold, Christian props the gate open for Ana, eyes silently asking for any words, but she immediately looks past his gaze. He meets her stride, "Do you have a trade?"

Christian wonders if José even set up a deal. José expected Christian to be dead after all.

Ana nods distractedly, taking in the massive town. Duluth. To Ana the well-established settlement is a marvel. She has never seen or imagined a sprawling town of this magnitude. Their electricity is working, she mentally notes when seeing a light emanating from one of the houses lining the street. They even have running water. A woman is filling a bucket — Ana's eye twitches when she watches cups of water slosh out of it with the lady's careless grip.

Christian has been here before and had already brokered a deal for a temporary bed whenever he stops by years ago. He considers it too seedy, although he has partaken in the red light district's services, he never liked to stay here long. This trading city brought all manner of people and many undesirables. People like me. Christian laments. He would keep an eye on Ana for as long as she allowed it.

Christian leads Ana to a trading post not far from the entrance. There's a lively market. Ana finds herself overwhelmed by the variety of options: clothing, produce, hot food, furniture, and more. The street is lined with kiosks made of wood, metal sheets, tarp, and all manner of materials.

Christian has never seen her this fascinated before, besides when they're having sex, he chuckles to himself. He stops short when he sees Ana's glare. God I'm an idiot.

"I'm supposed to trade for a delivery of vegetable starters and livestock, from a man named Solomon."

"Livestock? We may need to head to the stables then." Christian grabs Ana's hand and pulls her through the crowd. He's reassured when she doesn't shove him away.

They're stopped by a middle-aged woman that Ana doesn't recognize. "Christian!" the stranger smiles widely, snaking her hands around Christian's arms. Her blonde hair is coiffed into a tall bun, but most noticeably Ana catches a glimpse of her gaudy earrings. Ana has never met someone who bothered wearing jewelry. Surely, she was putting herself at risk.

Ana feels Christian's muscles tense before he acknowledges the lady, "Elena."

"Darling, I haven't seen you in so long." she practically purrs.

Christian doesn't want to explain more of his jaded past to Ana. He tries to let Elena know to tone it down. He's not exactly proud of his promiscuous past. He didn't want Ana assuming she was like the rest of the women he had slept with. Christian already determined long ago that this, him and Ana, was something else.

Christian shrugs Elena's grip off of him and nods towards Ana, "This is Ana, a settler I'm escorting." Private business Elena. Leave this alone.

Elena's eyes rake over Ana. Christian could see the wheels churning in her head.

"Aren't you a pretty thing? Elena Lincoln." Elena brings out her hand to shake Ana's.

Ana finds her compliment a bit too forthcoming, but shakes her hand, nonetheless.

"Are you looking for work my dear?"

Christian immediately shuts her down, "She's off limits." The nerve of this lady. There is no way in hell he's allowing Ana to become a her merely touching another man put him at odds with himself. He's angered at Elena's manipulative tactics; she was obviously aware that Ana had no idea of the field she worked in.

His irritation is evident, but Elena continues playing with him, "Well, let the girl say so then!" Elena huffs.

"Thank you, ma'am, but I am simply here for a one-time visit. I must be going now." Ana had no interest in idle chit-chat when she was on the verge of finishing this trip. She also didn't appreciate Christian speaking for her. "Off-limits"? Where did he get that idea, did he think she was too high and mighty for work?

Elena nearly pouts when Ana walks away. Christian takes the moment to whisper in Elena's ear, "Don't ever come near her again." He doesn't wait for a response but leaves Elena with her stunned expression to find Ana again.

A figure steps out from the crowd, eyes trained on Christian. He follows behind the retreating couple.

Christian and Ana find the stables at a much more secluded area of Duluth. They speak to a man cleaning the stalls there and he leads them to Solomon. At last, Ana is able to meet Solomon — a gangly man with a clean-shaven face. He happily accepts the box of antibiotics Ana offers after inspecting the bottles.

"We'll have the plants and animals delivered within the month. Thank you Ms. Steele and please send my best regards to José."

"Thank you, Solomon."

As they turn to leave, Christian spots a man waiting in the alley that serves as their exit from the stables. He blocks their path, "Christian Grey?"

Christian stops short, taking in the man's attire. He doesn't see the P.A. armband but knows he's a member. His green field uniform and combat boots are a dead giveaway. He doesn't know who he is, but knows this is going to get ugly.

Christian's first thoughts are Ana's safety, he shoves her off of the main path and draws his combat knife. Ana catches herself on the alley's wall and is about to yell in protest, but she stops when she reads the danger of the situation.

"It is you. The deserter Captain Grey." The stranger seems pleased, drawing his own knife as well, "You shouldn't have come here. I've already called for back-up."

Christian doesn't dignify his comment with any words, he simply moves in with his knife — aiming for the jugular. The stranger manages to move away in time and slash back.

The tip of the knife tears through Christian's shirt but doesn't hit skin. The close proximity allows Christian to elbow the man in his face and send his knee into his stomach.

"Christian!" Ana shouts in warning, she sees two more men in similar uniforms jogging into the same alley. While the first man is doubling over in pain, Christian meets the second oncoming threat by stabbing him in the stomach and breaking his arm.

Ana runs out to the end of the alley, calling out, "Somebody help!"

In the meantime, the third stranger gets a cut across Christian's back. The pain leaves Christian slashing the air blindly when he turns around to defend himself, but he misses all of his swings. The two remaining men grapple with Christian and manage to get him prone on the ground.

This is it. Duluth was a shitty place to die in, Christian smiles when one of the men punches him across his cheek.

"He killed Greg!" One of them shouts.

"I'm going to cut your fucking eyes out." The man pinning him down snarls, bringing down his knife. Christian catches it before it sinks in.

He hears a gargling to his left and is shocked to see the other man doubling over. Ana is standing over him with a blood-stained knife, palpable fear in her eyes. This split second of distraction costs Christian his left eye, the tip of the knife slashes across his pupil before he's able to shove the man off of him and stab him in the neck.

While the last man chokes on his own blood, Ana watches Christian gripping the left side of his face — blood seeping out from underneath his hands.

Without thinking, she rushes to his aid, "Christian, Christian!" Christian rolls to his side and moans in pain, he drops his hand. He can't see out of his left eye and can feel the blood dripping down his face.

The clarity of the situation reveals itself to Ana then. She's still holding the knife she used to stab one of the attackers. She's kneeling over Christian's form.

He's vulnerable. Her purpose for this whole trip can be fulfilled now. She can kill him now. The past month has led up to this moment.

Ana drops the knife.

The clawing feeling inside her, the part of her that aches for him, won't let up. She takes Christian's head in her hands; she doesn't want to hurt him. She can't stand seeing him in pain like this.

Christian revels in her touch, even with the piercing pain in his face and on his back, "Are you okay?"

Ana laughs desperately, "Am I okay? Christian, we need to get you to a medic." Ana hears footsteps drawing nearer and the shouting of guards. She calls to them and moves to assess Christian's wounds — his left eye has a gash through his eyebrow and lid and blood is dripping off of his back.

"They tried to kill him." Ana explains, holding Christian in her arms. She reluctantly releases him when the guards step in.

"Take him to Charles, he's bleeding all over the place." One of the guards directs.

Ana follows the entourage carrying Christian to the nearest clinic. She asks the man tending to him if he'll be alright, no matter how much Christian tries to wave the medic off.

"Ma'am, I don't know if we can help with his eye, but he's not in critical condition."

Why was Ana upset by the possibility of Christian going partially blind?

Ana sits in thought, she had just stabbed a man and left him to die there for Christian. It scared her how little she cared, but they were trying to gouge Christian's eyes out. If anything, she regrets not stabbing the man straddling Christian. The lengths she was willing to go to for him scared her. She knew she had to leave now, before she did any more damage to this clusterfuck of a situation. Before she can betray her father any more than she already has.

"Ana?"

Ana hears Christian underneath the clinic's lights. She walks to the other side of the table to grab his hand while the medic, Charles, stitches his face. It's only right that she at least say goodbye. Leaving him like this was cruel enough.

Christian glances at her fingers laced through his in suspicion, why was she being intimate after the way she looked at him this morning? He can see it in her face, numbness. She has a mile long stare even though she's looking right at him.

"Christian, I'm leaving now."

Somehow, he caught the meaning immediately. She's leaving me. Dread washes over him in waves, "Ana, stay." Anything to keep her there longer.

"I need to go."

Christian grips the medic's wrist before he can start another stitch, "Please give us a moment."

Christian can see Charles open his mouth to protest, but he closes it after looking between the two. The seriousness of the situation is clear, "Don't take long, you're bleeding." Charles exits promptly, removing his gloves.

Once the door closes behind the medic, Christian starts, "What do you need me to do?" He pulls their tangled fingers towards his face to press his lips on the back of her hand, breathing her scent in. Don't leave. "Anything Ana, anything."

"Bring back my father."

Christian lays his cheek against her palm now, crushed. If he could move time itself, he would. But they are here and now and no matter what skills he possessed, no amount of blood, sweat, or tears could bring Ana's father back. Ana pulls her hand away, leaving Christian empty.

"I love you, Ana." He knows it won't help, but if she leaves, they can at least part ways with the truth.

He hears a sob tear through her. I did this to her. This is what I do to people. I hurt people. I hurt Ana.

"I love you Christian."

The words are as painful to hear as they are blissful. His selfishness takes over again as he reaches for her arm, "Then don't leave." He would do everything in his power to avoid hurting her again. He would make things right.

Ana doesn't respond, she dips down and catches his lips with her's. He can feel it, she's saying goodbye. She stands up straight and strokes his sideburn.

"Ana."

She gives herself one last look at his eyes and regrets it. He is destroyed.

"Christian."

Author's Note: Apologies! It is a short chapter today, but we have three more chapters to go. Thank you for the positive reviews, I had a good chuckle at some of the back and forth in there. Ya'll are too good to me.