Chapter 8: P.A.

Christian doesn't know if he slept or not in his constant state of delirium. He's in excruciating pain, yet he doesn't feel Ana's presence anymore. It's been three days. She's gone. She didn't kill him, but she left. He wishes she had granted him that mercy. He's hollow again.

Charles, the medic, stops by and assesses his wounds again. He tells Christian that the slash on his back is fortunately superficial. On a graver note, he won't be able to see out of his left eye again. It's inoperable, but not fatal. Christian is too numb to care about either. If anything, the gauze pad over his eye was itchy.

He doesn't ask anyone about Ana, he knows his actions are irredeemable. He put her in danger, it's his fault she had to kill someone. It's his fault her father is dead. He destroys anything he touches. He begins to ache thinking of the trip back home she would have to take, the danger she would be in. Did she take anyone with her? He contemplates following her home but knows it's over for him.

On a Monday, Christian gets visitors. Three men, with unmistakable P.A. gear enter the room. Christian doesn't even spare them a glance, he's reading. Good riddance to this world.

He is unmoved when they don't even bother to kill him. Instead, they search around the room, under his table, bed, and closet before radioing in the all clear.

A figure walks in, "You gave up on me for this?" Christian recognizes the voice immediately.

Elliot heard about the assault and came to see the man of the hour himself. He shows evident distaste of Christian's living quarters on his face. Christian doesn't even bother stopping his musings, flipping to the next page and ignoring Elliot's insult.

"What a warm welcome." Elliot shakes his head, pulling up a seat for himself next to Christian's bed.

The grating of the chair irritates Christian, "Do you need something?"

"You're just like I remember you Christian. Blunt and an asshole." Elliot hadn't seen him in years. He already heard from Charles about the eye, but otherwise Christian looks to be in peak condition, just as he remembered him.

Christian gives up on trying to read, putting the book down on his bedside table. It was straining on his working eye anyways, "Are you here to kill me?"

"I thought about it. You killed three of my men."

"What's stopping you?" Christian doesn't clarify that he technically killed two. Ana's safety would be at risk.

"Your... utility."

"I thought you don't work with traitors Elliot."

"I don't consider you a traitor. Traitors join other groups or causes, cheat if you will. You? You joined nothing; you're just sulking away across the US apparently. Lost."

"You know what I think? You're full of shit. Don't make me an exception, Elliot. You know I don't like pity."

"The way that you're talking, you really do want to die, don't you?" Elliot is used to Christian being snarky, but he was never this reckless with his life. "What is it hmm? Was it that woman I was hearing about? I never thought I'd see the day, Christian Grey getting his heart broken."

"Shut the fuck up and just do it."

Elliot smiles brightly, he was spot on, "I don't pity you at all Christian, it's you who is wallowing in self-pity. I don't have many men capable of leading a company, so I'm going to overlook what happened here. Why don't you come with us to North Dakota?"

Christian frowns. He understands why he isn't dead now, "We've been over this Elliot, I don't care if P.A. manages to take over the entire continent. I'm not coming back."

"You were right. Is that what you wanted to hear from me? I fucked up." Elliot hates to admit it, but the corruption in P.A. is rampant. It needs a major rehaul. The three men who decided to ignore orders to kill Christian are just the tip of the iceberg.

Even Christian is surprised to hear it, the last time he heard the truth out of Elliot's mouth had to be nearing a decade.

Elliot's smile is tight now, Christian knows the look. He's not used to not having his way, "Word of your adventures has crossed the continent. They got a nickname for you, it's the Grey Panther." Elliot laughs at the cheesy epithet, "Tell me, are the stories true?"

Christian is silent. It makes him think about Ana's favorite book. Lion, tiger, panther… whatever they called him, it'd always be a predator.

"I'll take that as a yes." Elliot shifts back to the main topic at hand, "Maybe a little more incentive is needed for you to consider this offer, clearly your life isn't a motivation."

"I don't want anything from you."

"What about the girl?" Elliot leans forward now, smile gone. "I have it on good authority that she is headed West now.

Christian controls his expression. This is news to him. If she's not going to Rushmere, where is she headed to? He finds himself uncomfortable with the idea of her traveling alone on unfamiliar roads. But again, he says exactly what he's thinking, "She wants nothing to do with me."

"Ease up on yourself Christian. We'll offer her protection on her trip. A ride even. She doesn't have to know where it came from. And if it comes down to it, she doesn't even have to know that my men are there."

"I don't trust a single man that works for you."

"You're not making this easy Christian. Do you really want to push me on this?"

"Why? Are you going to threaten her life?" Christian sneers now. He's furious at the prospect. As if what I did wasn't enough already.

Elliot ignores the question. He did think about it but knows having a Colonel only working under threat was a bad call. He tries a gentler approach, "I'll assign three seasoned officers to keep an eye on her. I'll give them a direct line of communication to you, if your trust in us has dwindled this much."

"How can I trust that what they're reporting is true?"

Elliot presses two fingers on his temple, Christian was proving to be a headache, "We can get audio recordings and daily reports, but video surveillance may be impossible. If she's willing, we can maybe get her on a radio to speak to you again."

Christian's breath catches at the probability of speaking to her again but remembers the current state of their relationship. Still, he could try.

"If I find out you're lying Elliot…" Christian locks eyes with his old friend.

Elliot preens. He knows this is as close to a yes as Christian is ever willing to say. Yet, Elliot is well aware of Christian's calculated moves. He knew Christian wasn't fond of torturing or any other sadistic practice, but when he promised to kill someone — it was set in stone. As long as the girl remained a motivator for Christian, he could see many benefits to a partnership.

"I know."

It's scary how easily Christian slips back into the role. His old combat boots, uniform, bullet proof vest, and M4 are all waiting for him in a truck they brought into town. Elliot brought them along on his journey here. Christian found Elliot's presumptuous actions displeasing, did he know he would convince him?

"If I'm running a company, we're doing it my way. We don't pillage, we don't rape." Christian buckles his pants, adjusting his holster.

Elliot is secretly pleased to see his friend donning a P.A. uniform again. A man in his position has very few friends.

"As long as the objective is reached, I don't care if you have them all wearing dresses, Colonel."

Christian tilts his head at the title Elliot used. "Colonel?"

"We've grown substantially Christian; my role has changed and so has yours. It's General for me now."

"General." Christian tests the word.

"Colonel Grey You'll be in Captain Estrada's Humvee, he will debrief you on the way to our outpost."

"Before I leave," Christian remembers, "I want Taylor back."

Elliot smiles, "Of course."

Christian and Elliot salute before they both head to their assigned vehicles.

Anastasia finds herself in Washington by the beginning of January. She is stunned by her fortune with supplies and even a ride through two states. Unbeknownst to her, through Christian's nefarious connections. She cannot face José yet but knows once she settles down in Belfair — her old town deserves a call. By now, she had no doubt they presumed her dead.

The locals are kind enough to offer her a flat and occupation. In many ways, Belfair is more convenient than the country living in Virginia. However, the smooth transition does nothing to ease her mind. The pain and foreboding she feels separated from Christian is unbearable. Leaving him in such a fragile state gutted her but being his caretaker would only lead to her convincing herself to stay with him. She could not mar the memory of her father with such a decision.

Ana's next-door neighbor, Kate, is ecstatic to have another woman on her floor. She's Ana's tour guide as far as Belfair goes. The functioning sink and electric are a novelty for Ana that she is more than happy to take. Upon asking about communication methods, Kate mentions that access to the town radio was possible with supervision from guards. The thought of someone listening in to her conversations was horrifying to Ana, but she supposes it still had to be done.

"I'm making some meatloaf tonight; you should stop by. I need a little company; this apartment is deathly silent." Kate is as chipper as ever. A stark contrast to Ana's solemn mood.

Despite the circumstances, Ana tries her best to put on a smile, "That sounds lovely. Sure, I'll come over, but I have to run an errand first."

"Perfect! Dinner should be ready in three hours." Kate closes Ana's apartment door and returns to her room.

Ana glances around her flat, she finds her life unrecognizable now. No familiar faces and a town full of unknowns. She resolves to visit the comm station now, hearing someone she knew would be comforting, albeit not for long.

A lumbering guard stands watch in the room and refuses to take a seat. She tries to introduce herself, but he remains imposing — his short dirty blonde hair makes him seem like the military type. It makes Ana nervous, but regardless she turns to her old town's channel and speaks into the microphone.

"This is Anastasia Steele, calling into Rushmere for one José Rodriguez." She repeats.

A voice sounds back, "Ana?"

"Yes, this is Ana. Is this José?"

"No, this is Ethan. Ana, where the hell have you been? Did you make it to Duluth?"

"Yes."

"Are you hurt?"

"No." Ana doesn't want to explain anything else, but she knows what comes next.

"Ana, what happened? I'm grasping at straws here. José and Remington are already heading out to Duluth to search for you. They thought Christian might've done something to you."

Ana straightens herself at the news. Would they try to kill Christian? What was she thinking? Of course, they would send people after her.

"The trade was successful, there should be a delivery coming soon. But I messed up Ethan, Christian…" Ana chokes on her words.

"You didn't kill him?" The disappointment in Ethan's response is clear even through the shoddy technology. With this knowledge, Ethan wonders why, "Did he hurt you?"

"No, but I know what happened in Vermont now. I'm sorry Ethan, nobody survived." It pains Ana to even relay it again.

"Why didn't you do it then?"

"Ethan don't hurt him. Tell José and Remi to leave him alone." Even Ana is surprised by her own request. She knows she shouldn't but knowing he's alive out there is enough to keep her going.

"What? You're the best of pals now? Is that where you are? Sleeping with him?" Ethan's tone is vicious now, accusing.

"Ethan. Please don't. He's not with me, I'm in Washington. I haven't seen him since Duluth."

This does little to appease Ethan, "We shouldn't have let you go. I should've fucking known. Where is he then?"

"Don't hurt him Ethan, please. He quit P.A. years ago, he regrets it."

"I don't know how you can live with yourself, covering for a sociopath. You're a disgrace to your father's memory. Don't bother radioing back."

Ana feels the hot tears on her cheeks. She knows this is about more than her father, it's about everyone who lost somebody that awful day. She can't blame Ethan for lashing out, "I'm sorry Ethan. Goodbye."

Nothing but static answers back.

Christian's welfare comes to mind. José and Remington are out there looking for her, if she could intercept their traveling, maybe she could convince them to return. She could lie, she could tell them Christian is dead. However, once they returned to Rushmere, they'd know.

Ana wipes away the tears, takes a deep breath, and stands to exit. She catches the guard staring awkwardly at her. Pretend as he may, Ana could see he registered every second of the conversation and was trying hard to not intercede.

Kate's dinner is a welcomed distraction, but she can barely engage in conversation. Ana didn't want to unburden herself with someone she barely knew, so kept her topics cordial: traveling, farming, and cooking.

When she gets back to her apartment, she can't fall asleep. She wonders where Christian is now and if danger awaits him.

A/N: Two more chapters to go folks! Thank you kind readers for your thoughtful reviews.

On another note, to get ahead of the problems happening in the comments, I thank those of you who are recognizing the odd Guest reviewer. I really want a positive atmosphere too, but there is no option to not allow anonymous reviews without having to read them all before approving/disapproving them. So, I am forced to address it here.

I don't think that I am above criticism, but I think there is a right time and way to express grammar errors and that is not what is happening here. Especially now that this particular reviewer seems to have followed me to my second story with the same tone and subject. It is disconcerting and it honestly makes me uncomfortable. It's akin to eating dinner at someone's house then telling them how each dish could have been better. Sure, it could be true, but it's inappropriate and rude. So, if this problem persists, I will be filtering guest reviews. If the guest reviewer would like to chat with me outside of my comment section, send me a PM.