Chapter 3 – A feast of commotions
The two boys made it back to the hall to find full plates of food waiting for them as their housemates were finishing their deserts. But as the boys went to put their forks into the food it disappeared. The feast had ended. Neville was dismayed.
"Where were you guys?" Hermione asked.
"I'll tell you, in fact, I'll tell everybody!" Harry said, "Block the doors as we are dismissed!"
The headmaster didn't have many notices this year, just the usual announcements, concerning the forbidden forest, banned items and the new DADA Professor. Harry ignored it all as usual. As soon as the headmaster had dismissed the students to their houses and had himself exited through a small side door, Harry stood on the Gryffindor table and shouted out "ONE MOMENT PLEASE!"
Thanks to his friends blocking the doors all the students turned to see what he was doing. Harry continued in a loud voice for all to hear.
"I just want to quickly tell you all a few things to stop any false rumours spreading this year."
"One! Draco Malfoy is part veela and wants me as his mate!"
"Two! I said NO!"
"Three! Snape attacked me and I punched him in the nose."
"That is ALL!"
Harry jumped down from the table in the stunned silence that followed his announcement. He had seen Professor McGonagall come back out the staff door just in time to hear what he had said and she immediately began making a beeline for him through the throng of students. Harry not feeling like another confrontation that night, grabbed Neville and told him to follow quickly. It wasn't long before the two boys stood in front of a painting of a bowl of fruit.
"Harry, where are we going?" Neville asked.
"You'll see." Harry replied as he tickled the pear.
The door to the kitchens opened and Harry dragged Neville through to find the place a hive of activity. When one of the little elves noticed the wizards standing there it gave a little shriek and all the other elves stopped what they were doing and came bounding forward.
"What can we be doing for young masters?" one of them at the front asked.
"We missed the feast I don't suppose we could get a little food, could we?" Harry asked.
Well, a little food was not what they got. A mountain of food was presented to them as they went to the little table in an alcove that Harry had eaten at before. Soon Harry and Neville were hoeing into their food happily.
"Harry this is even better than the feast. I can't believe we are in the kitchens!" Neville said between mouthfuls. "How did you ever find this place?"
"This is nothing!" Harry said, "You want to see the secret of my success! You can't tell anyone Neville!"
"Yeah! Okay, I promise!" Neville replied.
Harry took out the marauders map and unfolded it. Neville looked puzzled at the old piece of blank parchment.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good!" Harry said as his wand touched the parchment. Neville watched as the most fantastic map appeared before his eyes.
"See all the little dots have names on them. There's Dumbledore in his office. There's McGonagall in the Gryffindor Common room, probably looking for me! And there's Snape and Malfoy in the infirmary with Madam Promfrey. Must be getting his nose fixed." Harry said happily.
"You never cease to amaze me Harry." Neville replied.
"Why Neville, are you sweet on me too? Malfoy won't like the competition!" Harry said
"I don't swing that way either Potter. You're all Malfoy's" Neville shot back!
"Not if I can bloody well prevent it!" Harry said seriously.
"But Harry even if you can resist Malfoy's powers, the Veela laws mandate your marriage. Once Malfoy has you publicly declared as his mate, you have to marry him!" Neville said.
"Neville I have set a number of things in motion over the summer that might just upset those laws but they will need time to be ready. So I need to stall for now. I derailed the meeting in the Headmaster's office tonight as the first step. If your Gran can get the candidate selection underway fast enough that will buy me a lot more time."
"I don't see how! If Malfoy has declared you his mate..." Neville said.
"Ah! But he hasn't! All he has said is I am his! He hasn't said the word mate yet but everyone assumes he has. I read a lot of law books over the summer and the Veela laws are quite clear, the declaration must be clear and concise. The word mate must be used and it must be used face to face with two independent witnesses present. So my purpose is to avoid or at least derail any meeting with Malfoy before all that occurs." Harry said smugly.
"You can't do that forever, Harry. What then?" Neville asked.
"That is were your Gran comes in." Harry said. "The traditions of courtship predate the Veela laws Neville. They are designed to find the most suitable mate for an heir of an ancient house."
"But Harry the Veela laws in the end will override anyone you select at the end of the courtship." Neville said.
"Ah! But what if the courtship takes longer than Draco can wait! He's coming into his powers now. He does not have long before finding his life mate. If he doesn't, he could go mad or even die. Hopefully Malfoy will give up on me and go find the next most suitable candidate available. Best stay out of his way Neville, it could be you!" Harry said.
"Do you really think that will work?" Neville asked.
"Don't know. I have other things underway too. Hopefully one of them will work." Harry said.
"And if they don't?" Neville asked
"I have that covered too!" Harry said sighing. "It's more extreme than I want but I will have no other choice unless Malfoy backs down."
"You're going to kill him!" Neville said wide-eyed.
"No! I am not going to kill him, Neville. I am going to run if I have too." Harry said whispering; "You never heard that from me okay. But its better to be a fugitive than married to Malfoy!"
"Oh! Sorry!" Neville apologise.
"SHIT!" Harry said glancing at the map. "Snape and Malfoy are coming this way!"
Sure enough two dots on the map labelled Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy were coming down the corridor that lead to the painting of the fruit bowl.
"What will we do if they come in?" Neville asked.
"Hide!" Harry said pulling his invisibility cloak out of his robe. Luckily Harry had decided to keep it with him at all times this year along with the map. The two dots stopped at the painting. Snape and Malfoy were definitely coming into the kitchens.
"Under the table!" Harry said as he folded the map back up.
Both boys barely fit under the invisibility cloak but hopefully under the table any slips would not be noticed.
The door to the kitchens opened and Draco walked in grumbling. Snape swept in behind him.
"He should already be mine!" Draco said
"In good time Draco! Let us get something to eat and a good night's sleep and in the morning I will corral Potter for you! He will be yours then!" Snape said.
"Get me some food elf!" Malfoy screeched and kicked the nearest elf in the back causing the elf to fall heavy onto the floor. Unfortunate for Malfoy it was Winky that he kicked and Dobby had just entered to kitchen in time to see what happened. Dobby snarled and grabbed a plate of stew from another elf. Dobby grabbed up a pot of red powder from a nearby spice rack and generously added the contents to the stew. He hurried forward to Malfoy and offered the boy the plate.
"Here is young Master's food!" Dobby said humbly.
Draco grabbed it and shoved a spoonful into his mouth. Harry had never seen someone's face change into so many different colours so quickly. Draco let out an almighty scream and fanning his mouth doubled over trying to stop his mouth from burning. Dobby's foot connected with Draco's arse and Draco went spalling forward and crashed headfirst into the iron door of one of the ovens. He was out cold. Worse still there was a large pot of discarded chicken gizzards sitting above the oven on the bench top that tipped over and covered Draco's expensive robes.
Snape wiped out his wand and pointed it to Dobby's back and would have cursed the elf in the back if it hadn't been for Neville Longbottom. Neville crouched in front of Harry under the cloak was the first to react to the scene in front of them. Neville slipped out from under the table, caught Snape's wand arm, spun the man around and planted a fist right onto Snape's newly healed nose before Snape even realised what was happening. Snape was out cold on the floor too.
"That was brilliant Neville!" Harry said once he was out from under the table.
"What have I done?" Neville gasped.
"The greasy git had it coming for years. Come on! Lets get out of here before he comes to!" Harry said.
"Dobby is bad elf attacking little Master!" one of the kitchen elves said in an accusing tone to Dobby.
"No he's not. It was Malfoy's fault, kicking Winky like that. Dobby, you did the right thing! I order you not to accept any punishment over this from anyone!" Harry said walking quickly up to Dobby. The other elves gave way quickly.
"See that Winky is alright Dobby. And take her to my house if things get too much here okay. I've got to go now but I will see you both soon.
Harry Potter is the bestest Wizard ever!" Dobby cried as he waved goodbye to Harry and Neville.
"I'm going to be expelled!" Neville whispered as they walked along.
"No you're not, if you don't lose your head and actually confess!" Harry replied, "Snape will probably accuse me of hitting him again. All you got to do is keep your mouth shut and you will be fine!"
"What if someone asks?" Neville said.
"Well, always tell the truth! Just not too much of it! It's the best way to lie Neville. Living with the Dursleys for fifteen years taught me that. For instance, if some asks where you were this evening you can say the owlery. Its true, we were there. Just don't add anything extra about bring in the kitchens. Trust me, this has kept me alive for fifteen years." Harry said trying to reassure his friend.
"I don't know!" Neville said uncertainly.
"Look, if they find out you punched Snape, you will be expelled right! It won't matter if you confess and say you're sorry. Its automatic! Attack a teacher and you are expelled. So unless you want to be expelled, you are going to have to lie. Think of it this way, you have nothing to lose by trying and everything to gain. So lets try it okay." Harry said. "Neville, where were you this evening?"
"Ah! The owlery!" Neville croaked.
"Say it with more confidence Neville. Its true! You were there this evening." Harry said.
"The Owlery!" Neville said more confidently.
"Excellent!" Harry replied lying as Neville voice still quavered. "Who were you with this evening."
"Harry Potter!" Neville answered the voice becoming stronger.
"All evening?" Harry asked giving Neville a McGonagall like stare with narrow eyes.
Neville laughed slightly at the expression and said, "Oh yes all evening Professor McGonagall!"
"Excellent!" Harry exclaimed.
The two boys practiced their lying skills all the way back to the Gryffindor tower which was fortunate because waiting at the portrait of the fat Lady was their head of house herself.
"Mr Potter, Mr Longbottom, were have you been tonight?" McGonagall asked as soon as they approached.
"The owlery" Harry answered.
"Both of you?" McGonagall asked.
"Yes Professor!" both boys answered.
"It's not curfew yet is it Professor? My watch still says a couple of minutes to go!" Harry said as he uncovered his new watch. It was one of his summer purchases. Solid platinum with a iridium face studded with diamonds for the hours. McGonagall's eyes went wide at the sight of it. But she recovered herself.
"Very well but this matter of attacking Professor Snape..." McGonagall started to ask but Harry cut her off.
"I'm sorry Professor but I have not attacked anyone!" Harry said in a very definite tone, "Snape attacked me, I only defended myself. The Headmaster saw the whole thing and I am making a formal compliant to the governors of the school concerning this incident! Snape's attacks on me have gone on too long! Its time someone put a stop to them, once and for all! And if the Headmaster won't do it, I will!"
"Professor Snape, Mr Potter!" McGonagall corrected.
Harry didn't reply but raise and eyebrow at his head of house.
"This matter with Draco Malfoy..." McGonagall started but was again cut off by Harry.
"As I informed the Headmaster, Professor McGonagall that is not a school related matter but my personal affair. I know your intentions are good but please stay out of this matter. It will work itself out in time." Harry said definitely.
"If you are sure Mr Potter?" McGonagall asked carefully.
"I am!" Harry replied.
"Then I will wish you a good night gentlemen." McGonagall said and turned to leave.
"Ummm Professor, you couldn't tell us the password could you?" Harry asked quickly realising he and Neville didn't know.
McGonagall face screwed up in displeasure and said, "Broken Nose." Before she swept away.
Harry smiled, "That has to be Ron's doing. No way would Hermione came up with that!"
Once they hade given the password and the portrait opened they found themselves faced with a packed common room. Ron muscled his way over. "Where have you too been? You just can't say something like that and run off."
"Harry," Hermione said coming up to them. "Are you in trouble? Are you going to be expelled? What were you thinking attacking Snape! You'll have to apologise!"
"LOOK!" Harry snapped loudly enough to silence everyone. "I didn't attack him, he attacked me and I defended myself. I have had enough of his crap. NO MORE! I am making an official compliant to the governors about his attack and with a bit of luck they will kick the greasy bastard out on his arse. Now I am tired and want to go to bed! GOOD NIGHT!" With that Harry stormed towards the stairs to the boys dormitories and disappeared. People let out a collective breath and soon wandered into their own dormitories to find their beds waiting for them.
By the time Ron and Neville got to their room, Harry's curtains were already closed. Whatever they wanted to ask would have to wait until morning.