Author's notes: Thanks once more to my wonderful betas MikaBird and DarkDesires. Without them, this would be only a jungle of words and ideas, with typos like monkeys, happily swinging from once branch to another.
This is story is inspired by my own experiences with aikido, a Japanese martial art. I'm not sure if Draco will find peace in canon, but I dearly wish him some peace. So this is my present for him.
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True Victory
He kneels in front of the man. A fighter, a great warrior of the Wizarding World. A master of the art of fighting: wandless magic – the greatest art of all. Draco has learned to love the fight, side by side with the other wizards, defeating Voldemort. And he decided, after the war, to continue to fight. All his life he has been fighting – against Potter, against his Father, against Voldemort. What else should he do? Today is the day when he asks for an apprenticeship in the most famous school of all.
He feels the eyes of the master on his lowered neck. The gaze of the man is taking him in, judging him, weighting him. Will he be deemed worthy?
"Why do you want to learn my art? Why do you want to learn from me?"
Draco swallows hard. "Because I love to fight… because I want to learn from the best. I want to be a perfect fighter, to learn how to fight the perfect fight… Sir." Draco lifts his head, his gaze boring into the master's eyes.
The master sees beyond the silver shine, deep into his heart. There is ambition and determination and something else as well, a desperate need. "You may stay on probation. I will take you as my student."
The training is hard, but Draco is untiring in his efforts. He practices every day, with all his energy and attention. He wants to learn every technique and understand every move. He does not like being the last and youngest in the row of learners. To stand back in silent modesty and watch others succeed is hard on him.
Years flow by. Draco still learns and fights to master the techniques. His striving to be the best is unbroken. The master lectures often: "Perfection is only an ideal. It does not exist in human nature. There is no such thing as perfect control, a planed situation. You should learn your techniques and after that, forget all about them. Just be."
Draco is confused a lot of time. Why should he try to forget what he has learned? He loves the fighting techniques, and he loves to win. All his efforts seem to be worthless in the eyes of his master. Still he struggles on.
A few years later, Draco is awarded the black belt of his school. He feels pride rising in his chest, but doubt is lurking in his mind. Is it right to feel so proud? Shouldn't he feel more humble? There is pain in his heart, despite his noble bearing.
"Now you will become an inner student of the school," his master says to him. And Draco's heart sings with joy. He is allowed to go on learning.
Some years later he assists his master through the lessons, and starts to train the first years on his own. He still is happy to earn his master's praise.
One of the younger students fears to fail. Draco talks to him: "The technique is infinite. You will always fail, as long as you want to do it perfectly. Just try and perform as good as you can. And try again tomorrow and the day after, as long as you live." He turns just in time to see the tiny smile on his master's face.
The years go by. And Draco finds himself more and more at peace with the world.
One day when he has finished waiting on his master in the morning, the man stops his leaving. The master seems old and fragile now, but Draco knows his inner strength and power. He kneels at the door, waiting for his master to speak. "Draco," he hears the man's voice, "look at me." As he does, his master bows to him. "Draco," he says, "you are doing fine. Just never give up on yourself."
Draco bows deeply: "I won't. Thank you, Sensei." When he comes to his master's aid the next morning, there is no life left in the old man's body.
Draco gathers the students together. He feels empty inside. His heart cries out to his master, his mentor, his friend. He will never know how many words have been left unspoken. He will never hear his master's voice and words again.
Draco takes a look at the younger students. On their faces he sees the same fear and loss he feels inside his heart. He starts the lesson, in honour of their master. In their eagerness to follow his instructions, in their hope for a word of praise from his lips he recognises his former self. He remembers his master's words, spoken all those years ago: "True victory does not lie in perfection." And he realises, that for most of his life he fought the wrong fight. Life is not about defeating Harry, or Lucius, or Tom Riddle. Life is not about being perfect.
And the years go by.
And the years go by.
And the years go by.
Draco has grown old. His students are famous for wandless magic throughout the Wizarding World. And Draco picks up his wand again. Uses it to perform simple spells, enjoying their inner beauty. Life is all about defeating yourself. Life is all about living in the moment that's present, about being whole and one with the world.
It is the end of his life. For decades he has been 'Sensei' to his students. He takes one last departing look at their faces. His search is over. He is at peace.