Of Boxer and Briefs
By: Blue Lady
It had been a long day and Amelia was glad that they were able to find an Inn to spend the night in. Amelia smiled at the bed before her, more then ready to get some good night's sleep.
"The best part is, I don't even need to share a bed with Lina-san tonight!" Amelia giggled to herself, burrowing into the soft, clean bedsheets. Tonight definitely was her lucky night. Amelia slowly closed her eyes and let her mind wander away. Soon images of honorable knights and princess heroines began floating around in her head. One of the princess (who looked exactly like Amelia) was just about to dispense some justice on a ferocious dragon when –
WHAM! A pillow hit her on the face.
"Hey, Amelia. Are you awake?"
"Lina-san…What is it?" Amelia yawned, sitting up groggily.
"You owe me twenty gold pieces." Lina smirked.
"What are you talking about?"
Lina rolled her eyes, "The bet, remember?"
Lina sighed as Amelia continued to give her a blank look. Obviously the girl's mind was still foggy with sleep.
"You know about the guy's…" Lina gestured pointedly at her pants.
Amelia eyes snapped wide open. "Oh yeah. That's right! I can't believe I lost that one I was so sure too."
"Fork it over," Lina smiled triumphantly.
Amelia sighed dejectedly as she went to get her coin purse. "I really thought Zelgadis-san was the type of guy to wear boxers."
Lina snorted. "Zelgadis? Please, the stick is so far up his ass that he's probably choking on it."
"Lina-san! Don't say that!" Amelia then looked up at Lina questioningly. "So a guy who prefers to wear briefs is uptight?"
"Yep!"
"Hmmm, I didn't know that wearing certain types of underwear would give a person a certain connotation." Amelia said, thoughtfully. "So that means guys who wear boxers are easy-going right?"
"Yep!"
"That's how you knew that Zelgadis-san would wear briefs and Gourry-san would wear boxers."
"That's Right!" Lina replied gleefully, counting her newly won money.
"So that means Xellos-san would probably be a boxer kind of guy, right?"
Lina shuddered. "Knowing him he's probably neither."
Amelia giggled uneasily at that disturbing thought before quickly changing the subject.
"Gourry-san sure had on some cute boxers. I couldn't really see them but I think there were little jellyfishes on them."
"I guess," Lina answered uncomfortably.
There was a moment of silence as the girl's contemplated this.
"Lina-san, do you think Gourry-san would mind if I brought some boxers for him?"
Lina almost did a face fault at that one.
"Amelia! Are you out of you mind?"
"Think about it, if they made little jellyfish boxers they must have a lot of other really cute patterns. Like smiley faces and pink hearts!" Amelia was beginning to jump up and down in excitement.
"Look, Amelia." Lina took a deep breath to calm herself. "When a girl buys a guy underwear it usually means that…"
Here Lina trailed off, giving Amelia a meaningful look. Hopefully, Amelia would get the idea.
"Oh." Amelia eyes lit up with understanding. "I'm sorry for being so insensitive, Lina-san. I won't buy any boxers for him."
Lina sighed with relief.
"But Lina-san if you wanted to do it you could have just told me."
"What! I don't want to buy boxers for him!" Lina screeched.
"Really?" Amelia asked confused.
"Yes! Why would I want to buy that Jellyfish boxers anyway! Would you buy boxers for Zel?"
"No."
"Exactly!"
"Well, It'll make Zelgadis-san uncomfortable if I did. While I don't think Gourry-san would mind that much. Besides Zelgadis-san doesn't wear boxers, he wears briefs. I think it would be weirder to buy a guy briefs than boxers."
Lina pulled at her hair, this is why she always preferred the direct approach.
"It's just weird for a girl to buy a guy underwear period!"
"But I really don't think Gourry-san would mind! Besides, he's like a brother to me, I wouldn't find it weird at all!"
"Fine, if you want to buy boxers for him so badly, go ahead. I won't be the one embarrassing myself." Lina grumbled.
Amelia smiled happily. "Thanks Lina-san. Maybe I'll buy some for Xellos-san as well wearing nothing can't be healthy."
Lina sighed as she got into bed.
"What have I've created?" Lina grumbled to herself.
"Lina-san?"
"What?"
"Do you think my Dad wears boxers or briefs?"
Lina immediately got up and ran out the door.
"Lina-san?"
Amelia thought she could hear the sound of someone retching down the hall.
Lina wiped her mouth and went to the sink to wash the disgusting taste out of her mouth. That was definitely something she did not want to think about.
It was another typical morning for the Slayers. Gourry and Lina were eating like there was no tomorrow, their forks and knives flying all over the table. Zelgadis was sipping quietly at his tea only moving once and while to block against food and utensils that have gone astray. While Amelia, as usual, tries to starts up a friendly conversation.
"Gourry-san, What size boxer shorts do you wear?"
Lina slapped herself on the forehead; Zelgadis choked on his tea.
"Large." Gourry answered without a hitch, continuing to devour the turkey in front of him.
"Thanks! So if you're a large…Daddy must be an extra extra large!"
Zelgadis cleared his throat, all the while giving Lina an accusing look.
Lina threw up her hands, "What!"
"You had something do this with this, didn't you?" Zelgadis whispered.
Lina began to protest vehemently. However, Zelgadis did not pay attention to a single word. He was distracted and scared by the fact that Amelia was now focusing her attention on him.
"Zel-" Zelgadis cursed his luck, preparing for the awkwardness that was sure to come. Why was Amelia suddenly so interested in man underwear anyway? Well, he was not going to let this silly behavior continue. He had to put a stop to this right now!
"llos-"
"Amelia, stop don't even ask me that question." Zelgadis began curtly.
"But… I wasn't gonna ask you." Amelia replied, frowning a little at Zelgadis' harsh tone. "I was asking Xellos-san."
"Amelia…What!"
"So Xellos-san, how about you?" Amelia asked, giving the Mazoku sitting behind Zelgadis a smile.
"Xellos! How long have you been there?" Lina growled.
"Long enough!" Xellos replied sing-songly.
Zelgadis sighed with relief; the stars were shining on him today. However, Zelgadis frowned, Why wasn't he included in her boxer plans? She was even buying some for that damn fruitcake for crying out loud!
"So Xellos-san, your size please?"
"Right, right. Hmmm, I don't know what my size is...Well, judging by my pants size… Medium I guess." Xellos replied lightly.
Lina blanched, while Zelgadis looked ready to hurl.
"Couldn't you check right now?" Gourry asked innocently around his mouthful of chicken.
"True, Gourry-san, I could. If I was wear-"
Lina immediately wrestled Xellos into a headlock while Zelgadis brandished his sword threateningly.
"Don't even think of finishing that sentence." Lina and Zelgadis said in angry unison.
"Well, I'm going to do some shopping now. See you guys around lunch!" Amelia chirped.
Amelia came back with at least five bags. Lina and Zelgadis were glad to find that most of them weren't filled with boxers. Apparently, Amelia decided to shop for traveling supplies as well.
"Wow, Amelia these are great!" Gourry said, picking up a pair of white boxers that had various kinds of foods printed on it.
"I knew you'd like that one! I even brought you this one." Amelia held up a pair that had little smiley faces printed all over it "This one glows in the dark!"
"Wow, thanks!"
"You guys have to see the ones I brought for Daddy!"
Lina and Zelgadis both looked away.
"Ugh, no thanks, Amelia." Lina sighed.
"But they're so cute. I couldn't believe that I actually made boxers with little pink hearts on them!" Amelia replied cheerfully, waving them around. "Also Xellos-san, this one's yours!"
Amelia handed Xellos a pair of black ones. The black boxers had little purple, fuzzy monsters with sharp teeth printed on them. If one was to look closely, the monsters even had a little blood on their fangs.
"Thank you Amelia-san! I think I'll try them on right now!" Xellos stood up and began to pull down his pants. Before either of them knew it, Lina had Xellos in another deadly headlock. Lina never knew she could move so fast, neither did Xellos.
"Not. Here." Lina eyes flashed dangerously. The Inn lights making her fangs gleam.
"O-of Course." Xellos laughed nervously before teleporting away.
"Oh Zelgadis-san! I got something for you too."
Zelgadis raised his eyebrow in surprise, "Really?"
"Yeah!" Amelia went to reach for one of her shopping bags. "I figured since I buying for Gourry-san, Xellos-san, and Daddy I might as well pick up something for you as well."
Amelia looked up, staring intently at Zelgadis' hips. "Hmm should be the right fit…"
The Chimera twitched with discomfort and flushed with embarrassment.
"Here you go!" Amelia pulled out a brown leather belt and handed it to him. "I noticed your old one was getting a bit worn. So I figured I might as well buy you a new one!"
"Oh, thanks, Amelia." Zelgadis smiled, feeling relieved and a bit touch. She didn't forget about him after all.
"Yeah, Thanks a lot, Amelia," Gourry said, giving the girl a hug. "What should I get you in return?"
"Oh no, Gourry-san. You don't need to!"
"But I want to. Come on, isn't there anything I can buy for you?" Gourry asked, smiling.
"Not underwear that's for sure." Lina replied dryly.
"Of course not! It would be weird if I brought Amelia underwear." Gourry answered matter-of-factly.
Zelgadis cleared his throat nervously, "Can't we just drop that subject already!"
"Oh I know, what would be perfect!" Gourry eyes twinkled with excitement. "Amelia?"
"Yes, Gourry-san?" Amelia answered cheerfully.
"What's your bra size?"
"FIREBALL!"
Author's Notes: This little drabble was inspired by the Femile episode where Lina, Amelia, and Martina dressed Gourry, Zelgadis, and Xellos up as girls. In that episode, we were able to see that Zelgadis wears briefs while Gourry wears boxers. Which I found really amusing!
Is it true that wearing boxers/briefs gives off that sort of connotation? I don't really know however, that's what I seem to pick up from everyone around me. I think I also saw it on a show somewhere…
The Characterization of Amelia: I hope she didn't come off as ditzy. I was trying to go for Naïve. But I agree with Amelia buying boxers for a guys isn't as weird as buying briefs for them. Does anyone else thinks that way?
Please read and review!