It was trying to escape out of my throat… but I kept pulling it back in. I didn't want it to come out; I didn't want them to see me scared. My hands trembled too… I was scared, I was frightened, and I was being as nervous as always. I'd never been someone who was brave and daring… someone who wasn't able to do anything… I was just a nobody… I had always been a nobody… all I ever was, was a hidden eye… a witness… nothing more. Now I have a key in my hand and I'm searching for the keyhole.

"Where do you think it would be?"

My eyes closed… my hands drawn out… there was no response. There was only a cold, bitter silence and a cold, icy aura. Still nothing.

Drawing back my hand, the little key still clenched tight into my fist, I opened my eyes slowly to stand in front of nothing.

"Is there something there?"

Still silence.

"Yes." I finally say.

The truth was… there really was nothing over there. It was just midair in the middle of a grassy field. The heavenly grass beneath our feet… trees shrouded around us… shafts of light dappled by the pine shade. But for some reason, the peace disturbed me, and for some reason, it felt as though there should be something here. At least should be. I reached out my hand, grasping only air. What was so abnormal? The tranquility. I learned through my life there's no such thing as tranquility. At least in this world. There can't be, so this must be feigned silence. Our thoughts pollute this world, our words change the world, our actions show the world, and peace does nothing. Only heaven can have peace, this is Earth, Earth which is nowhere near peace, Earth, which can only hold chaos and evil. At least in my life.

With the other arm, I lift it up, my palm not stretched out like the other, but clasping the key. I gradually open it, revealing a key with neither the power of Eriol's staff nor Sakura's staff. Who's staff was it? I don't know, just a staff maybe? Just a staff made accidentally, than given to me who was accidentally born in this world and accidentally caught sight of Sakura's magic in the moonlight. It is odd isn't it? Not for me.

The key floated up in the air, hanging there like a dead corpse whose soul is heading for heaven. But suddenly, it spins rapidly and quick like a tornado. And soon there is a large gust of wind blowing across my face, blowing across the quiet and peaceful meadow.

It's all turned dark, the only source of radiant light is from the key, and the red recording light from Tomoyo's camera. She can't seem to put it down, seems it's glued to her right eye and to her right hand. I can see Li's face with both eyes closed and the back of my head facing his eyes. I can see his eyes focused on the key, not on me, and one hand gripping his sword, the other gripping his yellow incantation slips. His face is stern as usual, hostility when he glares at me.

Geesh… can the key move any faster? It comes to an abrupt stop and then ripples of magic appear, the aura is strong and I feel my head get dizzy and my hands growing tense. I'm sure Tomoyo is unaffected, while Li's eyebrows have dug deeper into his skin.

There's a door that appears, a key lock on the door. The key glides into the key lock with ease, it turns automatically… and then the door is flung wide open. I feel even more dizzy, my feet clinging to the ground. The world seems to be spinning… but I can't even see the world since I've squeezed my eyes so tight. Yet I can see my life whirling around me like a top… I can see my life… my life… the life I hate so much… my life… my enemy… myself…

There's this brilliant ray of light streaming into my eyes, I think I'm blind or something… but could a blind person see light? Perhaps I'm dreaming? Perhaps I'm dead already? No, not that quick, I'm in a different world. A different world.

"Mika-chan!" A voice cries.

My eyes grow wide, it's finally gone into my head: I'm in a different world! Something I thought was so impossible when I grew out of childhood… when I grew out of that age when I believed in such silly things. But those things aren't silly, but maybe one wish was though. My wish to finally have a…

"Mika-chan!" It's Tomoyo.

It's gone out of my throat, a cry, a startled, nervous, and pained cry. I couldn't help myself, it came out when I heard her voice, and it came out when I suddenly started remembering those memories… I hate those memories! I stow them back into the back of my head where they'll rust. Yet they haven't yet.

"Are you alright?"

The camera is put down, not zoomed into my face anymore. Li gives me an intense, hostile glare as always, he freaks me out like crazy still.

"Uh… yeah. Just remembering something… uh… unpleasant?" I wipe my eyes, the brilliant light is too bright.

Tomoyo picks up her camera again, viewing the scenery, "This place is so…"

I look around too, the brightness has faded away, this place is dim and gray. It's not such a bright world after all, so what was that light? The key. It's in my hand.

"Yes…we're in another world." I look around with her.

Perhaps there had been a war around here, a war right here on this hill and in this valley. I can imagine it like a graphic movie. There are soldiers pinning each other down, others on horses and riding over the dead ones. One soldier has thrust his spear into the other's flesh. The soldier's eyes are wide open and he collapses to the ground. The killer bends down with a knife in one hand to cut off his dead enemies head, than lifts it up to show the world. To show the world that he has killed the enemy. That they have won.

I wish that was me, showing my victory to the world. But I never had any victories.

It's a dim world; it's a world full of immoral things, full of death. There's the whiff of evil in this world, and the remains of death, the stains of blood on the grass. If there was grass in this world.

There isn't any grass, just black pebbles and soil, wet soil. Mud.

Why did we come to this world? Why a world that gives you shivers in your back and a tremble in your lower lip? Why this world where you want to turn back, where you want to go back to that other world you came from? But what did we expect? A giant smiling sun in the middle of the sky, green grass, blue skies, and sweet lollipops popping out of the ground? This is just the place where evil would be, but isn't it just too obvious? Everything is obvious in our world, but it's hard to see what's good and bad in a perspective, anything could be bad, and anything could be good.

But this place, it's so obvious you don't need to think, and from whatever perspective, you could see evil, like the obnoxious shadowy alley where gangsters lurk. And maybe that's what the bad guy wants, and maybe he wanted us to find him in the first place.

"Where to now?" A menacing voice inquires.

"To the mountains."

"Why to the mountains?" A question asked tartly.

"It's obvious."

There are no more questions.

Our pace is slow as we travel down the slopes of the soil hills. Our path is covered in haze and mist, our eyebrows and forehead sprinkled with dew. And as we continued toward the mountains, toward a place were we couldn't even see, darkness crept into our bodies. Like this world was polluted with foul air, and when we breathed, we breathed in that loathsomeness, filling our bodies with filth. I hated the feeling, it was like I was back there, back to the place where I disliked, that place I hated. It keeps creeping into my mind, and when I force it back, it slowly seeps back.

I think Tomoyo and Li-kun have the same problem. I don't need to turn back to see their faces. We are already so close that our breaths mingle together and I can feel their troubled breathing. They are stumbling over their own breath, remembering thoughts they dislike. And I know that because I have the same trouble too. I can't think clearly with all those thoughts I hate pouring into my mind, brainwashing me. But it's better for me than them. Sakura and them have lived a carefree life. They eat, they sleep in beds, and they have company and friends, and family. They have a life. I don't. I've learned to keep those thoughts away, packed into a tiny folder, and encase it into the back of the head. Why don't I just throw them away? I can't. There's no way you can throw your memories or anything away. I've learned to forget about them, I've learned to store them away and keep them from affecting me, from affecting my life I will have, from affecting my health and thoughts and actions.

I know why this is happening to us, I know why. Because the enemy isn't using any traps or anything, he's too smart for that. He knows that the only thing that can kill us is ourselves. Is our own thoughts. We each have a monster in us, and if we unleash it, we will kill ourselves. And he also knows about memories, he knows how we have bad, deadly memories. He knows that those memories can kill us. But that's as much as I can think of, I'm beginning to go crazy, trying to keep those memories away from me drains energy… and I'm sure that we're all going to become crazy. We all are. Tomoyo has put down her camera, shutting it, breathing hoarsely and unevenly. Li is trying to keep his sword away from his hand. He moves his hand to his left, binding his arms together, grunting mutely. We're all struggling, and we're all trying to stop it… trying to stop them… but they keep flowing into our minds. And soon we are breaking. Tomoyo stops moving, she is bending down to try and catch a breath. Li is jumping madly, running around and screaming. But nothing is coming out of his mouth. Me? I'm going crazy too.

There's rain pouring down to add to our senses. It falls to touch our skin, trying to be our pacifier. Yet it doesn't work, it won't work. It becomes our tears and our madness, and we are either crying or running fiercely and screaming without sound.

And I'm… running. Yes, I'm running. And now my thoughts are scattered in my head and my focusing… on thinking is unclear… and my breathing is uneven like… everyone else. It is like sinking in quick sand… and now I'm running… and becoming crazy… and I'm running like chickens … cards… paper… cardboard… screams… glass shattering… everything… is tearing me apart….

I'm running… I'm running so hard… I can't feel my legs… my heart… I feel it thumping on my chest so quick… so fast… so… hard… I won't stop… I know she's there. She's crying out… she's crying for help… she needs us… she wants to get out. And… and Tomoyo… Li… they all need her… they all wish to see her one more… time… and I know… they will never smile like before… without her. And I know… they can't… replace… Sakura… with… me… because… Sakura has changed them… given them… something… they've never… had… and they… just… won't… won't be… be… happy….

I collapse to my knees. I fall to the ground. My heart beats fast still, my head is spinning, my legs are numb, my hands are cold. I feel bits of water… rain… pouring all over me. It's raining. I think I fell on grass. I don't know. There's so much… too much… I don't think I can do it anymore. There is no way I can save Sakura-chan anymore… I can't. Not even for Tomoyo, Li… not even for myself. Not even for my new friends… for the person I've admired the most for my whole life… not even for… for… for…

It went black.

Yes! I finally got a long chapter done... yet I feel so discouraged. Only eight hits... I wonder if people even enjoy this anymore? Sheesh... I bet I'll have to delete this story soon, at least one guy enjoys my story, maybe I'll just send it over to him by e-mail instead. HA HA! Now that's just funny! Me, give up? Yeah right.

Yes, the camera is all on me. And now I'd like to say... THANKYOU for people who even read this... and review... and SORRY... if I ever delete this... SMILE, I probably won't. he he...