Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks.
Just Ghostly
"Hello?"
"Hey Valon."
"Seto! How's it hangin', man?"
"What?"
"How are you?"
I pause. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. I should deal with this on my own.
"I-I met someone," I stutter.
"Really? Sooo, what's she like?"
"A he."
"Oh! Didn't know you swung that way, dude! Don't tell me you were looking at my ass all that time."
"No! Not that you…I don't know how we…It just happened…We were talking about his scar and then…And I'm just really confused. I don't know if I even like guys or if I was just reacting to being touched or…Valon, I don't know what to do!"
"Well, let's start out with complete sentences. First, you met a guy."
"Yes."
"You like this guy?"
"Yes. Sort of. I don't know."
"Okay, a different question: What happened between you?"
"Just kissing and touching."
"Did you enjoy it?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to do it again?"
"Yes."
"Then what's the problem?"
"I'm not gay. Or I don't think I'm gay. I don't know. And I don't want to hurt his feelings because I like him as a person. But I think I already hurt him because I accused him of being with me out of pity."
"Wow. Well, have you talked to him about it?"
"Not since I said it a week ago."
"You don't want it to sit and fester too long."
"I know. But I don't know what to say."
"Are you sorry for what you said?"
"I-I don't know. Because I don't know if it's true or not."
"Dude, you're makin' my head hurt."
"Thanks a lot, Valon."
"Look. The only way to solve this is to clear the air and the only way to clear the air is to talk to him."
"Okay."
"So what else is goin' on? How's your mom?"
We talk for another hour or so before I need to get to bed for school.
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Despite Valon's sound advice, I avoid Atem until after Christmas vacation.
This year, I fly mom to Shanghai and we spend the holidays with Valon and his mom. I had such a great time for the few days I went last year that we spend most of the two weeks off there, flying home New Years Eve. Actually, mom goes home and I go with her.
I can't remember ever being this happy as my plane home lands in Domino the day after New Years.
That should have been my cue, happiness. That should have clued me in that something terrible was coming.
He catches me coming in the house. I never even get a chance to defend myself. After he's hit and kicked me to his heart's content, he leaves me sobbing in the front hall. I wasn't ready. I'd let the walls drop while I was with mom and Valon and Valon's mom. He'd caught me completely off guard. That will never happen again.
I don't make it to school that week, needing to stay home and heal. At least the bastard had the decency to go back to his slut's house for the time being.
Saturday morning I head to Kaiba Corp. wearing shades to cover the waning black eye. I come home to find a cab in my drive way and wonder who it could be when I see the multi-colored ponytail of the person getting out of the cab. Hn. No spikes today.
I really don't want to see Atem like this. I instruct the driver to continue out of the gates and take me somewhere for dinner, trying to ignore the hurt and disappointed look on Atem's face as we go by.
Two hours later, when we pull up to the front door, I find a shivering Atem sitting on the front steps. I guess I can't run from him forever.
"Come on," I order, opening the door and stepping inside. As expected, he's reluctant to take off his warm coat until I direct him into the den with the fireplace. After warming a little, he inquires about a bathroom and then comes back to the den.
"So why are you wearing sunglasses, Seto?" he asks after staring at me from the couch for about five minutes.
I avoid the question completely by asking another.
"How did you find me?"
"You're joking, right? Who doesn't know where the Kaiba mansion is?"
"Why are you here?"
He pauses.
"I would think that was obvious."
I don't reply.
He stands and walks to where I sit in the recliner.
"You've been avoiding me."
I turn away. I really don't want to do this now.
"Where were you all week, Seto?"
Nursing my wounds.
"I was busy."
"Why are you still wearing your sunglasses, Seto?"
I get up and walk away.
"Seto?"
"I'll be back."
I go to the bathroom and splash water on my face. I have to get control of this situation. I dry my face and put my sunglasses back on.
As I sit back in the recliner, I realize who's in control here and it isn't me. Even with the shades on, his intense crimson burn as he stands silently in front of me. I should have anticipated his next move as he slowly climbs into my lap, straddling my legs, and removes my sunglasses. I look away, expecting a pity-filled exclamation of some kind, but none comes.
"The next time you better break his balls," he snarls.
I lock eyes with his and suddenly we're groping and kissing with wild abandon. After about 10 minutes of that, Atem pulls back and pants, "Bedroom?"
For some reason, being with him like that terrifies me. I drop my arms and look away.
"Seto?"
"This isn't…I don't know what the hell I'm doing, Atem."
"What are you afraid of?"
I look him in the eyes.
"That he'll come home."
Atem nods in understanding.
Climbing from my lap, he extends his hand.
"Come on."
"Where are we going?"
"Your room."
"No. He could come home."
He narrows his eyes menacingly.
"I won't let him touch you, Seto."
It's a nice sentiment, but he's no match for Gozaboro. Still, just knowing he feels that strongly, gives me strength. I lean down and kiss him lightly.
"Thank you, Atem."
He smiles and I lead him to my room.
I want the lights out, but Atem says no.
"I want to see you, Seto," he whispers, kissing down my bruised frame. I let him have his way, enjoying everything he does to me. His touches and kisses have me on fire.
"Seto," he whispers, pausing in his kisses up my right thigh, "will you let me?"
"Let you?"
He slides up my body and kisses me lightly.
"Let me have you," he moans, rubbing himself against me.
I wrap my arms around him and kiss him deeply.
"Yes, Atem."
Using a bottle of lotion he finds in my bathroom, he takes his time preparing me.
It hurts at first, but then he finds that spot and I'm soaring with the pleasure it brings.
"Seto," he moans into my neck as he starts to lose the rhythmic pace he'd set. I wrap my legs tighter around his waist and match his pace as best I can, knowing he'll be done soon, my own climax a recent memory.
He bites into my neck as he fills me.
We fall asleep a tangle of limbs.
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I wake with a start to find Atem spooned behind me.
More afraid than I have been in years, I climb out of bed and check the doorknob. It's still locked and the chair is still wedged in place. Despite both assurances, I'm still terrified. Pressing myself against the door, I try to calm down, but I can't, even when I bang my head a few times.
Is it because something's going well for me? Is it because I was happy? I remember the last time I was happy just last week. But that was then. He's not here now!
Shit! Why can't I calm down?
I fall to my knees by the door trying to catch my breath. Instead, I find myself curled forward with my head on the floor and I'm shaking and clutching at the carpet.
He knows! I know he does! He's here in the house right now just waiting for me to come out. But I can beat him! I know I can! I'm taller than him now! Faster! I can hit harder! I know I can beat him!
"I know it," I affirm out loud to myself.
"Mmm, Seto?" Atem mumbles from the bed.
"I-I'm alright, Atem," I reply as loud as I'm able, which, considering my state and position isn't very loud.
Atem's to my side in an instant.
"Seto, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"
"I just can't calm down," I whisper.
He pauses and then says, "Focus on my voice, Seto. Don't think about anything else okay?"
"Okay."
He starts telling me about his life in Hokkaido. His friends and family there, high school, his brother…And I feel myself relaxing. I close my eyes and am almost asleep when he helps me back to the bed. I fall asleep in his arms.